Why? Secrets, Lies and the Truth hurts
by Re-writing Destiny
Summary: Set in the summer after OotP,Harry is distraught and angrier than ever. A face from the past arrives in Privet Drive,why is she so mysterious?Dark forces,but its not Voldemort. COMPLETE Sequel up soon!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer - Everything belongs to J.K Rowling, except the character of "Libby?!?!" (havent thought of a name yet...any suggestions?)  
You can use my character in your own Fan-Fictions as well, but you must email me first, on rp_faith@hotmail.com and ask permission. The character is created to add more depth to one or two characters, and also to give us some more information on what happened during The First War against Lord Voldermort (gasp, lol) of which we have little information. I could be totally off key as to what happened, but Im not J.K Rowling, and she decides what really happened. Its just my take on it.  
  
Note - I just want to warn people who haven yet finished reading Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix that it conatains MAJOR SPOLIERS. Inlcuding the death of the character, and some information about Harrys parents, Sirius, Lupin and Snape. SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS... There. You cant say I didnt warn you.  
  
Also, Id like to thank J.K Rowling for creating such a fanstastic and exhilarting world on such an enourmous scale. Her power in words drew me into Harrys world, and now a part of me permanently resides there. In fact, when I read the death, I had to put the book down because it upset me, and because of the blurryness of the words due to the tears. I had to read it 2 pages at a time because I kept crying !!!! I just feel so bad for Harry.  
  
At times, it may get a little confusing, as it flicks from narrative to Harrys POV, and I havent worked out how to get italics yet. Also....what does AU stand for?  
  
I am also proud to say that I started reading it at midnight on friday, put it down at 3 am, started reading again at 9am Saturday, and barely put it down all day until my sister demanded to read it for an hour. I then carried on and finished it at 2:30am Sunday morning. So, give or take a few hours, I finished it in around 24 hours. YAY ME.  
  
On that note, the first part of the story is Harrys thoughts on the death. He is a very angry young man, as well as extremely distraught and, in his own words, hollow. This is my take on what could happen during the summer that Harry is at Privet Drive. I'll probably be way off the mark when the 6th book comes out, but, Im not too bothered, because this is Fan-Fiction, and therefore, partly my creation.  
  
FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS LOVED, NO MATTER HOW BAD! Okay? Please, Im open to any all feedback. 


	2. Victoria Station

Harry took one last glance at Moody, Lupin and Tonks and the rest of the gang before walking with Dursleys. Vernon was shaking with anger or fright, or maybe both. Petunia was doing the usual thing of pursing her lips together and as for Dudley, he was looking decidely ill, as if he expected a Dementor to come charging at him any second. Harry neither knew or cared what the Dursleys thought, as his mind was on how to survive the summer. Last summer his glimmer of hope and happiness remained solely on the fact that he could write to Sirius, and that maybe one day he could live with him. This, wasnt going to happen for two reason. The first and foremost being that Sirius had died battling the Death Eater called Lestrange. He had died saving Harry, therefore Harry knew that it was all his fault for being lured there in the first place. But it was his love for - Harry stopped, took his glasses from his face and wiped at his eyes, furious that hed cried openly in front of the Dursleys. In his anger, Harry kicked a trash can, knocking it over, creating a loud crash and a glare from Vernon, who was obviously struggling not to hit Harry. The second reason, which was hard to think about, but no where near as hard as Sirius, was that the Dursleys was the only place that Harry was completely safe from Voldermort. Had something to do with love. Love, yeah, well, I loved Sirius and - Harry caught himself again, tears threatening again. He wiped at them roughly and shoved his glasses back on. He had been too angry, too empty, too numb and too much in shock to take in much of what Dumbledore had said, but he had picked up on the gist of it. Murder, or be murdered. Harry didnt like the former, but preferred it to the latter, and anyway, its not like hes killing someone innocent. But before Voldermort, Harry was determined to get Lestrange...  
  
As they climbed into the car, Harry decided, that, instead of immersing himself into thoughts of the wizarding world as they drove to Privet Drive, as it hurt too much, he'd actually listen to the Dursleys talk. Obviously trying to forget what they had just heard, Petunia put the radio on. Dudley immediately complained and was allowed, immeditaely, to put his latest rock album on. Evanescence, Fallen. Harry hated rock music. All angsty and angry and loud and...But this time, he realised could relate to it pretty well. Dudley reached forward and put "Bring Me To Life" on repeat, and very loud. Harry was even more pissed off and upset by this, due to the fact that Sirius had just died. The lyrics, however, related to what Harry was feeling. Dead on the inside. He needs bringing to life, but the only way that could be done is to bring Sirius to back to li - Harry suddenly jumped, his scar twitching painfully. Dudley looked nervously around, moved further away from Harry on the backseat, if that was possible. Petunia looked sharply around, but Harry didnt look at her. Something inside Harry stirred - he was a wizard. Dumbledore was. There is no limit to the magic...if theres a spell to kill someone..maybe...just maybe...theres one to bring someone back...someone who died an unnatural death..Harry started thinking, and wondered if Dumbledore would do it...He seriously doubted it. If he couldnt do it with good magic, he would invoke the darkest of magics to bring Sirius back.  
  
________________________________________________ (*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~PART 2~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -  
  
The girl sat in Dumbledores office, in the same seat that Harry had sat at the end of the year. If a girl is what you could call her....True, she had the appeareance of a 18 year old, but she was much, much older...  
  
The girl had her legs pulled into her body, and sat resting her head on her knees, leaning against the arm of the chair rather than the back, so that she was slightly turned away from Dumbledore. Her dark brown hair was raggedy and her cheeks were hollow, and her deep brown eyes flecked with gold were staring ahead, at Dumbledore, or, rather, through him. Unblinking. In shock. Dumbledore had told her the news about Sirius, and she did exactly the opposite of what he had expected her to do. He expected her to rant and deny it like Harry had done. What she did, was say one word in her husky, throaty voice, quietly, a voice that hadnt been used in almost 16 years. "Dead." Then she had sat there, for the past half an hour, and stared ahead. Dumbledore sat quietly, patiently. Her eyes had glassed over with tears, but none had fallen. Then, she cleared her throat and said. "How long have I been asleep?" To which Dumbledore replied - "Almost 16 years. From the end of First War, and you have awoken at the begining of the Second War." The girl twisted around her seat, to make her body face directly as Dumbledore. "No." she said. "I was...concious before then. When Sirius broke out of- " her voice broke, and the tears that had threatend to come fell, too numb to even comprehend what Dumbledore had told her, and the girl struggled to regain her composure, knowing that, at the moment, there were things to discuss, things that she had to do, things that she wanted to know, such as why she fell asleep,what has happened in the time since,why she hasnt aged a day,why Dumbledore had brought her to the school he expelled her from when she was 16,why she was even talking to the man that had allowed her to be split up from her one true love, and why and how he had died... 


	3. Coming to Terms

The Dursleys finally pulled up at 4,Privet Drive later that day. Petunia saw something that would give her and her gossiping bitch neighbours something to talk about all summer, Harry thought. At the opposite end of the street, someone was moving into the "insert name"'s house, as a lodger. The "insert name"'s usually took a lodger in over the summer. Usually it was some builder who was working on the many motorways around the area. But, as Harry and the Durselys got out of the car, it wasnt the usual scruffy, loner type of man, but a girl. Harrys case was thrown onto the floor by Vernon and he and Dudley scurried into the house, Vernon with a protective arm around Petunia, but she tried to slow down to get a look at the girl that was moving in. Vernon pressed the button on his remote control key, the car bleeped and they went inside the house. Petunia was soon at the window, her bony face peeping around the curtain. Harry, however, had a perfect view. The girl was carrying a black bag slung over her shoulders, some black, low cut jeans and a red tight tee-shirt. Her hair was a bright red, and Harry suspected she had used one of those hair dyes that you see in Muggle shops. He liked it. The red shone through the brown, reflecting at every angle. She flicked her hair over her shoulder, and turned to look at him. Harry felt a bolt of pain go through his scar as her dark brown eyes locked onto his green ones, then a slight tingling, which was, suprisingly pleasant, like a tickling feeling. She visibly flinched and broke eye contact, and pulled her hair away from her face, tying it loosely in a bobble. Harry reddened in the face and looked away, embarassed, picked up his case and walked inside. Harry was suddenly very pissed at himself for staring at some girl when Sirius was - He swallowed and walked inside the house, wondering how he was going to cope with going back the Order of the Phoenixs HQ. Petunia stood in the kitchen, tapping on the worktop and looking at him. Her mouth was slightly pinched and Harry could tell that she wanted to ask him questions about the girl. Harry thought, Go ahead, give me a reason to explode and I will...like Id tell you anything, you bitter old bitch. There was a stony silence between the two and Harry stood there, defiant, looking at her. "Well? You gonna say something or am I just gonna have to stand here all day?" Harry asked her. Petunia clenched her lips even tighter, and said "The girl. Is she one of YOUR LOT? I saw you staring, like you recognised her." Harry grinned, simply shrugged and put his hand in his pocket, whistled a tune and walked casually up the stairs with his case in his right hand. He knew that silence and not answering her question would piss her off more, because he had neither denied or asserted that she was ONE OF HIS LOT, she so subtley put it. Harry knew she wasnt, she looked around his age, maybe a little older and he has never saw her at Hogwarts. Yet the pain..but that could have just been Voldermort. Harry flung his case down, determined to learn Occlumency before he got lead into another trap and someone else he loved died because HE LOVES PLAYING THE HERO, again, as Hermione so subtley put it. And that was what got Sirius killed. No, Kreacher was what got Sirius killed. Harry decided he was going to torture that fucking stupid house elf until it was insane, then cut off its head and stick it on the wall. Just like Sirius had threatend to do. Except the CRUCIO part of it. Harry laughed at the memory of Sirius saying "...of course, he could have crawled into the attic and died, but I musnt get my hopes up". Harry heard him saying it like it was yesterday, like Sirius was stood right next to him, and Harry saw everything, heard it echoing over and over in his head...Harry remembered Hermiones shocked expression, Rons laughter...then he remembered Hermione getting hit with a curse, almost dying, Ron having a brain trying to kill him, and Sirius, being the usual him, all cocky "thats the best you got?" Harry had almost laughed, until that Lestrange BITCH had hit him, and he had fallen through the Archway of the Dead, smile still on his face, light still in his eyes...Harry wasnt sure whether it was the curse that had killed him, or the fall through the archway...Harry snapped out of the flashbacks and found that his face was extremely wet from the tears. He wiped at his tears, thinking that he was weak for crying, and Sirius would hate that...Harry kicked his case and let out a roar, knocking his case across the floor, and stood there, angry as ever...  
  
_________________________________________________ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~PART 2~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --  
  
The girl sat across from Dumbledore, vaguely resembling the beautiful young girl she had been. Mostly due to the dust and dirt on her, from sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall for the past 16 years, staring ahead of her. Personally, he thought it extremely creepy, and when he brought Remus Lupin to see her, just after the First War had ended, and then almost every month after that, they both saw no change in her. The girl was itching to ask Dumbledore questions, this he could tell, but she was just trying to find the words, and the strength to ask them, both physically and mentally.  
  
She looked up at Dumbledore, too shocked, hollow, drained and numb to even start to speak. She just looked at him. Dead? Sirius? Lestrange? Voldermort? Harry Potter? Snape? Wormtail? Lupin?.....The thoughts, names, images whirled round and around her head, and she just wanted to shut them all off, shut everyone out and recline deep into herself like she had years ago for so many years. But at the same time, she desperately wanted answers, revenge, and she knew that she had to keep herself grounded, and not float away. She slowly licked her lips, a good sign that she was still very much human, mused Dumbledore. She brought herself out of her thoughts, and also so did the sound of the door creaking open.  
  
The audible gasp was followed by him rushing around to the side of Dumbledore, openly staring and shocked at the girl. The girls eyes opened wide, and a grin cracked across her dirty, dusty, hollow, battleworn face. "Moony" she rasped. "Oh my god.." Lupin rushed over and embraced the girl, holding her tight. The girl took a gasp of breath, shocked at the affection, and closed her eyes, not moving. Lupin hesitated, almost drew back, and then the girl threw her arms around him and held him close, pulled him down and wouldnt let go of him. Lupin put his hands around her back and held her tight. Dumbledore smiled thinly, this had had the effect he was hoping for. An old face would keep her grounded. Moony was exactly how she had remembered, only older, slightly grey haired, but he still had the kind of hollow appearance that he had since Hogwarts. She was one of the few people who knew what he was. WHO, she had corrected him, not WHAT, makes you sound like an animal, a thing, ya know? its WHO you are. This had comforted him somewhat, and he had always been struck by how mature and bright, not to mention powerful the girl was, to say she was 5 years younger than Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. He smiled warmly, remembering that they had thought she was just yet another girl who had a crush on Sirius, till something that happened made them all think otherwise..... 


	4. History

"Lana!" someone called across Gryffindor common room, as they came bursting through the portrait. The girl, her dark brown hair just hitting her shoulders, looked up from the book she was reading. "Sirius is coming back and hes on his own!"The 14 year old Lana blushed, her best friend Madison grinned, knowing that Lana had a crush on him. Lana secretly hoped that Sirius would ask her out, a Hogsmeade day was coming up, the one just before christmas, and her and Sirius had been talking more since the year started. And kisses....multiple times...in the broom cupboard..but didnt tell anyone..it was more fun that way.. Lana quickly ran her hands over her hair, really hoping that this wasnt the the age that she stopped aging at...shed never be able to get Sirius if she looked 14 for years...But nobody knew about this..yet. Lana ran a hand through her thick dark brown hair and shoved the book under the chair. Sirius, James, Remus and the other one always sat by the fire, and Lana had a seat where she could stare at Sirius and not be noticed. At 16, Sirius was 2 years older than her. But it didnt stop her.  
  
They had talked before, lots of times, but it was so hard to get him without the gang, and without James was impossible. James was cool too, and although he was arrogant, and victimised Snape, Lana thought James had good reason. He called Lily a mudblood, and after she had stopped James from ripping his underwear off last year...Lana almost went into fits of laughter at the thought. Mudblood was a disgusting word, and Lana very nearly cursed Snape herself, but didnt think Dumbledore would be very pleased, after all, she does have more power than most of the students, and Dumbledore didnt want her using this power around or on the students. That was the first time that Sirius had spoke to her. Lana was stood behind Sirius when James was hanging Snape upside down, and when Snape had ran off, Sirius turned around and accidentaly elbowed her in the face, busting her lip. Not exactly the way she wanted Sirius to notice her, but still....."Are you okay?" Sirius asked, looking at her. Lana couldnt speak, just nodded. Sirius smiled. "You sure?" Lana found her voice "Five by five". Sirius laughed a little. "Never heard that before..." James turned around from staring at Lily, and said "Chatting someone else up?" Sirius winked at James, then turned around and saw that Lana was bleeding from her lip. James went at sat by Lupin and the other guy, under the tree, leaving Sirius and Lana to talk. Lana blushed as Sirius tenderly wiped the blood from her lip. "Youre Lana, right?" "Yeah. Lanas me. Im Lana."."Youre in the third year?" "Yeah....I just missed out on the fourth year by a few days.." Sirius remvoed his hand from her face. "Ive seen you in the common room..And playing Quidditch...James here thinks you have a crush on me." Lana felt her face burning, but knew that she hadnt turned red. Instead, stunning even herself, she ran a hand over her hair and raised eyebrow. "Really?...." "Really." Sirius said, stepping in closer to Lana. Her heart was hammering so hard she thought it would burst through her chest. She managed to keep her voice, cool, casual. "Maybe hes right...". Lana winked at Sirius and smiled, walking off, brushing past him.  
  
Lana was stunned at how she had managed to keep her cool, shed had a boyfriend before, but the sight of Sirius usually made her a bumbling idiot, made her melt on sight, his floppy hair, his dark brown eyes, his smile, his attitude..everything. But somehow, she had managed to keep her cool, and had ever since then. She always kept it light, casual, flirty, very flirt, and so did he. They had had a few stolen moments, kissing, heatedly, but she didnt fool herself. He was extremely good looking, and although she liked to think she was the only one that he did this kind of thing with, she knew that she might not be the only one...Christie ran up into the dorm, leaving Lana there on her own, with a few other Gryffindor residents, all younger. She was wearing muggle clothes, as she was not planning on leaving the common room or the dorms. She tucked her legs underneath herself and leaned back on the chair, with enough room for two people on, this was easy. Her jeans were dark blue, and low cut. Her black top and had been torn, across the stomach, showing her gold belly bar with a red jewel in it, and the small tattoo of a red love heart next to it. The top also had a moon printed on it, surrounded by red. Blood on the moon. She blew a bubble, purple. It popped just as Sirius walked through the Gryffindor portrait. Lana looked over, casually, and saw that Sirius was heading straight for her. Her heart started pounding, her stomach turning, as usual as his floppy hair bounced and fell in his eyes as he walked over. He sat beside her on the chair, and smiled. She smiled back and looked at him. Sirius ran a hand down her arm, sending chills down her spine, and was glad that no-one could see them. He leaned in and whispered in her ear, again with the chills down her spine - "Wanna go put with me?" Lanas breath caught in her chest and she didnt dare move or speak. He looked into her eyes, dark brown eyes on her lighter brown ones. He looked genuine, but still, her barriers went up. "How many people did you ask before you asked me?" Sirius eyes flickered for a moment, as if she had just slapped him. "You think Im seeing other girls?" "Well I dont know, I am younger than you, and you are the best looking guy here." Sirius grinned and pushed his hair out of his face "True...But I also happen to be...having a thing with you, and I wouldnt play two girls." "A thing? Just a thing?" Lana sighed. "I knew it. You just wanna play me for all you can get and then - " She stopped. Sirius had put his finger on her lips to silence her. "I like you. A lot. So come to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?" Lana looked at him. "Okay. Id like that." Sirius kissed her swiftly on the lips and stood up. "Good." Lana grabbed his arm and pulled him back down, kissing him on the lips, harder and for longer. Sirius put his hand on the side of her face, then gently stroked her cheek as they kissed. Lana thought she would melt, and he pulled away and then kissed her again lightly, grinning as he walked off and out the door. Lana had to keep in a "woohooo!!" 


	5. A Walk In the Park pt1

Harry sat in his bedroom for 15 minutes, and then, unable to stand the tension in the Dursleys house, which he briefly considered writing to Sirius about, only to remember the harsh reality that Sirius was dead. Harry kicked himself and then stuck his hands in his jeans pockets, shoving his wand in there too, and walked down the stairs of the Dursley house and out of the front door. He walked past Dudley and his gang, wishing that they would just give him a reason to smack one of them. "Oh look, its Potty Potter, the insane boy..." Polkiss sneered. It was then, that one of them tripped, or attempted to trip Harry up. Harry spun around and smacked Polkiss on the jaw, and Polkiss fell to the floor. Harry stood there, fuming. Dudley shoved past the remaining 3 and stood in front of Harry, who grinned and showed Dudley the wand in his pocket. "You wouldnt dare..." said Dudley,althought not entirely sure. Harry laughed as Polkiss got up and lunged for him, and Dudley, unsure, stopped Polkiss going for Harry. "What the hell Big D? Let me at 'im!" Harry smirked, satisfied that he had scared Dudley. Harry could hear the argument as he turned the corner, and they faded out as he walked down the street to the park.  
  
He was planning on sitting on the swing that he had last year, just before the Dementors attacked him and Dudley, but as he approached the park, he saw that the girl he saw moving in was sat there. Harry paused for a moment and walked slower towards her, still fuming but also getting the feeling that he should be careful around her. But he didnt really notice the feeling of cautiosness. He stood at the gate, just able to see her through the gap in the structure that was a slide and some other things. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, and she leant against the chain, her right arm wrapped around it, her hand dangling limply at her side. For a second, Harry thought she was dead, but then almost laughed at himself. Her left arm was on her lap, and in it she clasped a gold chain. Her hair was tied back in a high ponytail. Her brown eyes stared vacantly ahead, and every so often she would sniff. Leaning against one of the poles that held the swings up was a note pad. It A4 in size, looked battered and worn, and it was bulging so much that she had tied three elastic bands around it, to stop the loose sheets floating away in the slight breeze. Harry felt a sadness for the girl, wondering what could cause her so much pain, and Harry thought to himself that she looked exactly how he felt everytime he thought of Sirius. When he wasnt angry. Harry walked through the gate and sat on the swing beside her. She barely noticed him, but her eyes did flicker towards him and then back to whatever she was staring at, if she was staring at anything. Harry rocked himself slightly on the swing, his baggy jeans scraping along the floor, his oversize t-shirt making him look thinner than he was. The girl sat there, black flarey trousers with a red and orange flame shooting up the side of her left leg. Her black top wore the same flame. On the field next to them, a group of kids played football. On the baby swings, a mother pushed her son. A little girl went wooshing down the slide, giggling, happy. Had no idea what was happening in the wizarding world, and Harry was glad that the people around him were totally unaware of it. His heart ached to be one of them, not caring, not knowing, not having to deal with the death of Sirius, the return of Voldemort...  
  
"Ignorance is bliss." the girl next to him said, in a raspy voice, showing that she had barely spoke over the past few hours.  
  
"Huh?" came Harrys reply.  
  
The girl licked her lips slightly, cleared her throat and turned her head slightly, looked at Harry. "Ignorance is bliss." Harry looked at her quizzacly, and the girl, obviously recognising her mistake, turned quickly and stood up. "Lucky them." She grabbed her book and walked from the park, quickly.  
  
Too quickly, Harry thought, and got up and walked after her, pulling out his wand. The girl realised that she had said far too much to Harry although it had only been 5 words. But she was right. Ignorance was bliss. And that bliss had been shattered by her rude awakening. But never mind that now, she had been here barely a day and had already said the wrong thing to Harry. She ducked down an alley that would take her away from Privet Drive, and into the small town where she could get a coffee and maybe - "Dammit." she muttered, as she felt Harrys presence behind her in the alley. Slowly she turned around, knowing that he had his wand out. She was tempted to grab hers, but then it would reveal that she was a witch and he might see it as an attempt to start a fight...Plus, Dumbledore didnt want Harry knowing, but she thought honesty was needed at all times right now...But still, she didnt feel like talking about Sirius, especially to Harry.....too complicated. So she sighed, stopped in her tracks and turned around, right hand slacking to her side, holding the book.  
  
"HEY!" Harry shouted. He pointed his wand right at her, knowing it was stupid, but knowing that if she was what he thought she was, a witch, it would get the right reaction from her, instead of a Muggle reaction which would be to laugh and -  
  
"What are you gonna do? Hit me to death with your stick?" the girl said, smirking.  
  
Harry had thought wrong. He put it away quickly, feeling stupid. The girl raised her eyebrow at him and then stopped smirking. She stood there, looking all attitude at him.  
  
"What did you mean? Ignorance is bliss?" Harry demanded.  
  
"The war."  
  
"The war? How did you know?"  
  
"Iraq. USA. England....its all over the news...." she quickly recovered from the blunder earlier. She wanted to know Harry as a normal person first, then get into the wizarding side of things. Too much too soon would....Hurt both of us. She could already see that Harry was very much like his father, but nowhere near as arrogant. More like Lily. Her eyes glassed over at the memory of - but she forced it away. She knew why Sirius was so proud of Harry.  
  
"Oh..." came Harrys stunned reply.  
  
The girl waved a little, then turned and walked away. Harry stood there, feeling stupid. 


	6. Dealing with those terms and Grieving

Instead of going to the coffee shop like she intended, the girl was too upset by her encounter with Harry that she went straight back to Privet Drive, and sat at the thing that gave her a comfort, that took up most of one of the 2 rooms that she was renting at the "blanks". She sat at her piano, took the elastic bands off of her note book and pulled out the latest song that she had written. Although she didnt need it to look at the music, she needed it for the words. Not because she didnt know them , but because she over changed them as she went along. She flipped up the lid to the piano and started hitting the keys, humming as she went along, before realising the window was wide open and that people could hear her. She didnt care. Then she added the words to the song and sang, tears streaming down her face, threatening to break her voice into racking sobs at any point.  
  
I know I can be a little stubborn sometimes  
  
A little righteous and too proud  
  
I just want to find a way to compromise  
  
Cos I believe that we can work things out  
  
I thought I had all the answers never giving in  
  
But baby since you've gone I admit that I was wrong  
  
All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie  
  
How am I going to be strong without you I need you by my side  
  
If we ever said we'd never be together and we ended with goodbye, But we never did Well now I'm  
  
lost without you  
  
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I'm lost without you  
  
I keep trying to face the day I'm lost without you (Tears were streaming down her face at this point, and she had to stop to catch her breath, and to wipe at her eyes as she couldnt see the keys on the piano)  
  
How my ever gonna get rid of these blues  
  
Baby I'm so lonely all the time  
  
Everywhere I go I get so confused  
  
You're the only thing that's on my mind  
  
Oh my beds so cold at night and I miss you more each day  
  
Only you can make it right but now youre not here with me  
  
(Again ,the tears fell harder at this point, as she realised that Sirius was truly not here, he was gone, and that she was Lost Without Him, this she had never denied. Before, in the coma-like state, she knew that Sirius was alive, albeit in Azkaban, and that there was a sliver of hope...but now there was none. As her voice hit the highest note, and she belted it loudly, she didnt know how she got her voice to stay straight as Lupin Apparated into her bedroom. This was the first time that she had ever cried, everyone else was showing their pain in different ways, and she couldnt even begin to show hers...she was beyong anger...beyond tears....until this point. The tears were coming down faster and more of them now, blurring her vision, but she was so caught up in the song and her grief that she couldnt stop. Lupin stood there, quiet and grieving himself, eyes glassing over as he heard her voice singing, thick with emotion, grief, misery and loss. He moved slowly and sat on the bed.)  
  
All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie  
  
How am I going to be strong without you I need you by my side  
  
If we ever say we'd never be together and we ended with goodbye, But we never did.. Well now I'm  
  
lost without you  
  
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I'm lost without you  
  
I keep trying to face the day I'm lost without you  
  
If I could only hold you now and make the pain just go away  
  
Can't stop the tears from running down my face  
  
Oh  
  
(She noticed now that Lupin was in the room now, and paid no attention, but felt a small small comfort that the man who had been like a brother to her was here, and that a few tears fell from his eyes. Whether because of hers or his grief, she did not know.)  
  
All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie  
  
How am I going to be strong without you I need you by my side  
  
If we ever say we'll never be together and we ended with goodbye,but we never did. Im lost without you  
  
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I'm lost without you  
  
I keep trying to face the day I'm lost without you  
  
The song had finished and she was so totally lost in her grief, that as she tried to stand up to move across the room to Lupin, she fell to the floor, totally broken down and a complete wreck, in floods of tears, in so much pain and grief that it actually hurt her physically to move, to breathe, to just be here. "You should have let me die" she said, through huge racking sobs that shook her body. Lupin barely made out the words as she half sat, half lay on the floor, letting go of everything and just giving into the grief and pain, finally. "It hurts....It hurts.....It hurts so much..." she struggled to say, and she kept repeating "It hurts....it hurts.." . She looked so frail in her 18 year old body, yet Lupin knew she was more, so much more than she looked. He could not even begin to imagine her pain, but imagined it stretched far. She and Sirius had been soul mates, of that there was no doubt. Why Sirius had never mentioned her in front of Harry was another reason, and his reaction whenever Lupin mentioned her, well...Lupin crossed the room to the sobbing wreck and tried to lift her, but she just fell back down again, mumbling it "it hurts, let me die.. please let me die..". Lupin knelt down beside her and wrapped his arms around her, but she just pushed him away. Lupin was stung by this reaction, and a few tears fell from his eyes. He had cut it close by coming here, it was full moon tonight and werewolves, being perceptive to human emotions, powerful ones, Apparated here straight away. He decided to go to Dumbledore straight away, she could not be left alone like this. But maybe it was better to be left alone to grieve; he did not know, but cared too much about her to let her deal with this on her own. "Nay, listen to me" he said. She carried on sobbing, her eyes redder and puffier than they had been before, but that had been due to her hayfever or something or other. She looked up at Lupin, and he was moved to tears again by the look in her eyes. "Nay, listen...Its a full moon tonight, so I cant stay....but I am going to tell Dumbledore. You cant - " he stopped, and saw that she was wiping at her eyes, only to start sobbing again. He put his hand on her back, and felt the shakes that went through her body. "I will be here as soon as I can, I promise that." She muttered something that sounded like thankyou and sorry, then hugged him, tears staining his already worn robe. She pulled away, and carried on sobbing. Lupin was extremely worried about her, but not as much as when there had been no reaction from her.  
  
DISCLAIMER : Above lyrics belong to Delta Goodrem, not me. I hear this song the other day, and really listened to the lyrics, and thought it would be how Harrys feeling, but even more appropiate to how Lana is feeling. Im sorry about the "blank" part, but I cant think of a name yet, but I will change it and add a name at some point! Not sure about the name Lana either, if you have any thoughts on the name, just email me on rp_faith@hotmail.com THANKS! and write more REVIEWS i wanna know how you feel about how the story is moving along and your thoughts and questions on it so far. 


	7. Back to the Wizarding World pt1

Lupin slowly stepped away from her, and with a soft pop, disapparated and mounted his broom as he re-appeared. Her sudden breaking down had something to do with Harry, he could tell...  
  
Dumbledore sat in his office, leaning back on his chair, arms on the arms of the chair, cooly regarding the wonder of Fawkes. He soon sat forward as Lupin came bursting through the door, looking worried. Dumbledore stood up and Lupin looked at him. "Its Lana. Shes - totally broke down.". Dumbledores brow creased and he sat back down with a sigh, and massaged his left temple with his left hand. "How is she?" he asked, concerned. "Broken. Really, really broken. Im worried about her." "Of course you are Lupin, shes always been like a sister to you. I, also, am worried. I was wondering when she would do this." Lupin looked at Dumbledore, a little suprised. "I think someone should go to her tonight Dumbledore, she wouldnt be able to defend herself in the state she was in. Id love to do it, however - " he looked upwards, as he could sense the sun going down and the moon coming up. He had to persuade Dumbledore, and quickly. "Please." Dumbledore looked straight at Lupin, in a way that made Lupin relax. "Who do you suggest?" Lupin thought this over, Mad Eye, no...Not the right kind of person for something like this...Molly Weasley. Lupins eyes lit up and he looked at Dumbledore. "You did tell the Order about Lana, didnt you?" Lupin asked Dumbledore. "Of course. They needed to know." "How much did you tell them?" "Just what they needed to know." "The basics?" "Yes" "Such as?" Lupin enquired, as Lana wasnt just what she looked to be. A beautiful and young girl, yes, scared and lonely, yes. Not too sure about the scared part. If she was, she never showed it. Lupin didnt know everything, but he knew what Lana knew about herself. He knew, and she knew, that Dumbledore knew all the answers to her questions, and either she wasnt asking them or he wasnt answering them. Dumbledore regarded Lupin. "I told them that she was a student here. That she and Sirius were deeply in love for 7 years, and that, for reasons unknown, she stopped aging at 18. That, again, for reasons unknown, she went into a coma-like state and has stayed that way until the death of Sirius. Now that she has come back, she must be treated like an adult. Should she wish to join the Order, she may." Lupin now realised that he was stupid to have asked Dumbledore that, but he cared for Lana. "And what of their questions?" "I told them that I could tell them no more at the time." Lupin smiled to himself. Dumbledore looked at him questioningly. "I was just remembering how Molly is with Harry. Im wondering if somethering Lana with affection is really what she needs right now." Dumbledore rose from his chair and walked around the desk to Lupin. "I'll see that shes taken to The Burrow. I dont think going to where Sirius once lived is a good idea, whether he liked living there or not..." "What about Ron and the others?" "Molly has restrained them from telling things before, now shouldnt be too different. And besides..nobody outside of the Order knows about her." 


	8. Back to the Wizarding World pt2

Lana was lying on the carpet, on her stomach, her head resting on her arms. She was obviously sleeping, from the deep, slow, rhytmic breathing. Dumbledore surveyed the room, and muttered something, and things flew around the room as they packed themselves into a small black bag. Lana was disturbed by this noise, and she woke up, sat up and leaned her back against the wall, her eyes red and puffy, her face streaked with tears. She looked tiredly up at Dumbledore, who smiles kindly. "Hes really gone, isnt he?" He nodded slightly. She rolled her eyes, bit her lip and blood dripped down a little, with the obvious effort it was taking not to cry.  
  
Then she snapped out of it, wiped at her face, stood up, looked around. "Whats with the bag being all packed?" she snapped, looking at it and then in the mirror. "Oh God...Look what the dog dragged in..." then she smiled a little, at her reference to the animal Sirius changed into. Lana picked up her brush and began to sort herself out as Dumbledore began talking. "Remus Lupin came to see me. He was very concerned, and I am too." Both Lana and Dumbledore looked out of the window at this point, and saw that the sun had just begun to set. She smiled faintly again, remembering a time when her and Sirius had sat watching the sun set....  
  
She shook her head, blocking the memory and continued brushing her hair and tying it up. "So where are you taking me?" She sighed and turned to Dumbledore. "Remus suggested the Burrow. With the Weasleys." Lana racked her brain for the name of "Weasley", knowing that it should mean something. "Their in the Order?" "Yes." Lana shifted uncomfortably on her feet, rocking from side to side slightly. "But...what do they know..about me?" Lana picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder, opening the door for Dumbledore and letting him out first, then walked out herself and shut the door, locking it with a key and magically. Dumbledore filled her in on what he had told Lupin, as they walked to the Portkey Dumbledore had set up.  
  
Another thought occured to her. "They have children.One in Harrys year. One below. How am I going to avoid them?" "You wont have to. They have been told that you are a friend of Sirius' and are to be left alone - " Lana had stopped walking. "A friend? I was, but I was more, a lot more - " she choked on her words, then looked at Dumbledore. She carried on walking. "And, I dont want to be left alone. If they want to talk to me, they can. I wont ignore them, and whatever they ask, I will answer honestly." They turned down an alley. "Which is something I want to talk to you about, but this isnt the time. I messed up in front of Harry the other day. I mentioned the war, but I quickly managed to sort it out...Guess those acting classes did come in handy...Anyway, dont you think taking me away from him is a bit risky?" Dumbledore stopped in front of a bin, pulled out a dirty sock. "Whatever you want to discuss, we can in due time. And your stay will be no longer than a few days. Or a day, if you dont like the fuss Molly is likely to give you.." He said with a smile. "Are you ready?" "I was born ready" she said, with a slight smile. She touched the PortKey, and well, you know what the Portkey feels like. Like someone has hooked you somewhere, and is dragging you along against your will. 


	9. The Burrow

They landed on the garden of the Burrow, to see Ron and Ginny having a great laugh, de-gnoming the garden. They stopped and stared as Lana and Dumbledore walked up the path. "Bloody hell" Ron exclaimed and dropped the gnome, which promptly bit his foot and ran off. Ginny laughed and Ron blushed as Lana looked at him with a sort-of-amused smile.  
  
They went inside and Lana was appreciative of the warm hug that Molly Weasley gave her as she walked into the kitchen. Lana let Molly embrace her and then she stepped back as Molly smiled at her, but it was a smile tinged with sadness. Lana blushed a little undr Mollys gaze, and Dumbeldore stepped through the door.  
  
"Hello Dumbledore, Lana dear, you must be exhausted, sit down." Molly said, pulling out a chair for Lana to sit on. "You too, Dumbledore"  
  
"Thankyou Molly, but I must go now. I wanted to make sure Lana got here safely."  
  
Mrs Weasley went to embarce Lana again, but Dumbledore gave her look that reminded her what he had told her - Dont be all affectionate. Lana doesnt like it. Says it makes her feel weak. So dont do it.  
  
"Right, okay. It was nice seeing you." Molly said, waving as Dumbledore left the house. Molly looked warmly, clearly restraining herself, at Lana as she carried on cooking. Lana cleared her throat.  
  
"Mrs Weasley?"  
  
"Please dear, call me Molly."  
  
"Okay, Molly...Thankyou for letting my stay here, you didnt have to, you barely know me, and Im so grateful, so anything that I can do to help around here, and Im afraid I wont be much fun to be around, you know, cos of....Sirius and all." Lana said, very quickly and all in one breath. Molly stopped and turned around, sitting down opposite Lana.  
  
"You dont have to do anything. Youre our guest. It was no problem having you here for a few days, none at all. It was my pleasure. Anytime that you want to talk about Sirius, about what happened......" Molly looked at Lana with genune concern in her eyes. "I dont know exactly what....But I do know about love. I dont know what Id do if Arthur ever.." her eyes clouded over at the thought, and at the memory of last year, with the snake. Molly also remembered the arguments that she had had with Sirius the past few years, mainly concerning Harry, wanting to be over-protective as Sirius had called her. She had found Sirius irritating in that respect, always being dangerous, and Molly could not fully understand how Lana could love someone like that. But she would discuss that with Arthur later.  
  
Lana managed a smile and stood up. "Are you sure there is nothing that I can do?" "You could go help Ron and Ginny with de-gnoming if you REALLY wanted to do something...." "Great!" Lana smiled and walked outside, leaving her bag on the table.  
  
Ginny was finishing off de-gnoming and Ron was sat on the floor, nursing his bitten foot. Lana walked outside and leaned against the open doors door frame. "Hey...." she said, brushing a loose strand of her from her face. "Youre Lana, right?" Ginny asked. "Yeah, I guess your mum told you Id be staying here for a few days?" Lana walked stepped down and walked over to where Ron was sat, as Ginny nodded.  
  
"So you were Sirius girlfriend then?"  
  
Ron kicked at Ginny, and glared at her. "Could be more subtle, Ginny"  
  
Lana smiled, amused and impressed that someone so young could be so upfront. "Wow. Youve got balls for someone so young. I like you. I respect your honesty. And, yes, I was Sirius girlfriend before he...." at this point, she cut off, upset.  
  
"Why didnt he ever mention you before then?" Ron kicked Ginny again, harder. "Ow!" She kicked him back.  
  
Lana blinked some tears away, shocked that he hadnt mentioned her, but figured that he wouldnt, not in front of the children anyway. "There are a great many things that Sirius wouldnt mention in front of you. And a great many things in this world that you do not know about." Lana raised an eyebrow at Ginny and Rons bemused faces, then smirked. "So, you finished with throwing the gnomes around then?" 


	10. Jealousy & Lies

Later that night, Lana sat on the roof of the Burrow, feeling the cold night air on her legs and face. She had dug out her old diary, and she sat reading it, wanting to remember and re-live everything about Sirius...  
  
Lana was in shock as Sirius walked off. She stood up and looked at the clock. It was almost 11pm, and she was glad it was the weekend tomorow, she was tired. She looked around the commonroom and couldnt see James, Remus or Peter anywhere. She wondered where they were at, and where Lily was, she had to tell her that. Lana smoothed down her jeans and headed up to the dorms.  
  
Thats when Christie, the last girl that went out with Sirius before Lana, got up and strode over to her. Christies long curly blonde hair bounced as she walked over, her blue eyes glittering. She grabbed Lana by the arm and spun her around. Lana twisted around and raised an eyebrow at Christie, then looked at Christies hand on her arm, and then back up at Christie.  
  
"Let go of me" Lana said, not in a scared way, but in a threatening voice that made Christie blink. But she quickly recovered and tightened her grip, but Lana barely flinched, and looked up at her cooly.  
  
"Listen, little girl, Im gonna tell you something, and its for your own good." Christie told her.  
  
"Really? Well, let me tell you something for your own good....Let Go Of Me." Lana said, glaring at Christie. Christie was completely thrown by the girls tone, and Lana even shocked herself. Christie was a good 3 inches taller than her, and 3 years older. Christie let go of Lanas arm, but gave her a shove as she did....But Lana didnt even shake.  
  
"I didnt mean it to sound like that Lana. Im sorry, its just....I hate Sirius. I hate the way he thinks he can treat people. Girls, mainly."  
  
Lana said nothing, but leant against the wall and looked at her.  
  
"He'll just use you, Lana. He did me. He'll tell you what you want to hear, then he'll seduce you and then when hes had what he wants, he'll just blow you off. Its not just me, hes done it to all my friends as well."  
  
"Before or after he used you?"  
  
"After, but thats not the point, the point is - "  
  
"Guess youre just bitter that you were bottom of the pile then." Lana said, more than a little pissed off. Christies eyes narrowed and she stepped close to Lana.  
  
"Im telling you for your own good. Dont get too attached, he likes that. He likes to hurt people. He gets some kind of kick out of it."  
  
"I dont know what your problem is, Kirsty - "  
  
"CHRISTIE"  
  
"Whatever. But Sirius is with me, and, I think you have a case of the green eyed monster. And Im not a tramp like you."  
  
"Youre just a little girl. What Sirius needs is a woman."  
  
"You mean you? Cos, personally, I always wondered if you were a man in drag." Lana spat at her.  
  
Christie was about to slap Lana, when Lana shot her hand up and grabbed Christies hand, inches from Lanas face. Christies eyes widened in shock, and so did Lanas, and Lana dug her nails into Christies wrist.  
  
"Listen, Bitch, you need to back off. If I catch you near Sirius, I will rip you limb from limb.....you got me?" Christie then kicked Lana in the shin and Lana winced as Christie stalked back into the common room.  
  
Lana walked up into the dorm rooms, very pissed off, but wondering about what Christie said. "Stupid fucking bitch. How dare she treaten me, stupid jealous bitch.." Lana muttered to herself as she walked around the dorm, getting undressed. "And anyway, Im not a tramp like her, I dont go around just sleeping with anyone....But Sirius would...has....oh my god, what if Christies right? Hes not exactly Mr Virginity is he? Unless you count how many girls have lost it to him..oh god. Shes right. Hes just using me..." Lana took her shirt off, and pulled on a black halter neck top. She shook her head.  
  
"No, hes not, hes not like that. Not with me. Yeah, we have the odd moments in the broom cupboard...with the heavy passion and all...with the wandering hands....but hes never tried..." Lana smiled to herself as she remembered, but that smile quickly faded as she realised that he had been a bit pushy about the sexual stuff, but she had shoved him away and told him to stop it. "Not ready for all that yet. Sirius said hed wait..but what if I make him wait too long and then he gets bored?" Lana kicked herself as she pulled off her skirt. "There you go again, thinking he just wants...."  
  
Lana pulled on some black hotpants and sat down on her bed as she brushed her hair. Lana desperately, in her heart, wanted to believe that this time was different, that he wouldnt just use and abuse her, like he had all the other, but her head was asking what it was that made her different..and she couldnt find a reason. And as much as she wanted to, she wouldnt let her heart rule her head. Sirius' reputation as a womaniser went against him, but Lana didnt want to hold that against him, wanted to see it as a new start, sort of thing. But she couldnt....Lana was so conflicted inside, had no idea what to think or do. Lana couldnt allow her feelings to develop any further, she couldnt start to fall in love with him...No, thats not right....Fall in love with him any more. Cos then hed just cast her off, leave her there, all broken.  
  
Lana tied her hair back into a low, loose ponytail and walked over to the open window, opened it more and slide through it, and sat on the wide window ledge on the outside, looking at the stars and feeling the cool breeze on her bare arms and legs. She decided that she would just play it by ear. If he dumped her, then she would deal. If he didnt, then great. As she looked down at the Hogwarts grounds, she saw 5 figures stood talking... 


	11. Men

(NOTE: THE NEXT FEW CHAPTER WILL BE FLASHBACK. i'LL GET BACK TO THE BURROW AND HARRY IN A WHILE)  
  
Down where Lana could see the 5 people, Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs and Lily stood talking.  
  
"So youre finally gonna do it with Lana?" James asked Sirius.  
  
"Shut up Prongs," Sirius told him, "Its not like that."  
  
"Ooo Padfoot finally changed then?" James mocked him, pretended to think. "Hm, dont think so."  
  
Sirius grinned and looked at James. "I dunno. Maybe. Maybe not."  
  
"You dont know?" asked Remus. "How can you not know? You either know its gonna last or you dont"  
  
"Lana is HOT, with that ass, and those curves, that cute little belly button bar, and when ive got my hands on her hips I just wanna - " Sirius made a movement with his own hips and winked, then sighed. "But...then...Im happy with just the kissing her, and sometimes I look at her and....."  
  
James cracked up laughing, so did Peter, and Remus just looked amazed. He patted Sirius on the back.  
  
"Aw, Im so proud" Remus said, pinching Sirius cheeks, "My ickle Padfoots all grown up and finally realising theres more to be had from women than just sex."  
  
"Yeah like blow jobs" James said, but he soon shut up when Lily glared at him and punched him hard on the arm.  
  
"Cheeky bastard. And dont take the mick out of Sirius, I think its cute. You make a great couple. And anyway, Potter, whod have thought youd settle down?" Lily said.  
  
"Especially with a minger like you" Remus said, grinning. Lily narrowed her eyes at him and then laughed, totally used to Remus' humor.  
  
"Haha" was Lilys response. "Do you love her?" she asked Sirius.  
  
"Ooooo Padfoots in lurve" James taunted.  
  
"You are James" Peter pointed out.  
  
"Woah woah....slow down there people...Im not in love with her. Its only been 3 weeks." Sirius said.  
  
"Still a record relationship" Peter pointed out, again.  
  
"It is....I do like her a lot. But its not love. But it could be...." Sirius thought, then realised that he had said it out loud.  
  
James ran at him and grabbed him in a headlock, ruffled his hair. "Get off you bloody idiot" Sirius said, trying to get out, and failing, so he punched James in the stomach, making him let go. Sirius stood up and straightened his jeans and shirt off, smoothed down his hair.  
  
"Speaking of which, just what HAVE you done with Lana?" James asked.  
  
"None of your bloody business" came the answer, but from Remus, not Sirius. They all looked at him. "Well its not." he said sheepishly.  
  
"You always wanna know though, Moony" said Peter.  
  
"True....." he said, laughing, "But this time, I get the feeling theres not much to tell anyway"  
  
Lily shook her head, rolled her eyes at all four of them. "Listen to you all! Youre like a group of girls....Only girls tell the truth about what theyve been upto, whereas guys....tend to lie." Lily looked at Sirius, giving him a knowing look.  
  
"I agree with Remus" came a voice from behind Sirius. It was Christie. Her blonde hair was free, bouncing as she walked. She joined them and stood next to Sirius. "Shes just a kid....what can she give you?"  
  
Lily narrowed her eyes and looked at her. "A lot more than you"  
  
"Like what? I bet you havent even gone past what youd call a PG-13 movie, and its been 3 weeks." Christie said, laughing.  
  
What caught Lanas eye was the sight of the tall, thin blonde walking towards the group that she had recogised as Sirius, James, Remus, Peter and Lily. She has been sat watching Sirius for the past few minutes, going all dreamy and then catching herself, and as she caught herself for the third time, she noticed the blonde. Her eyes narrowed and she could feel her temper rising for the second time that day, with the same person. Lana knew straight away why she was there; Lily couldnt stand her, so it wasnt to talk to Lily. Lana focused her gaze, althought obviously couldnt hear what was being said. 


	12. It was fun while it lasted

Christie linked her arm with Sirius, and Sirius shoved her off and stepped to the side.  
  
"What do you want Christie?"  
  
"I want you." She moved closer to Sirius.  
  
Up on the tower, Lana suddenly found that she could hear every word that was being said.  
  
"Well you cant have me." Sirius told her.  
  
"But you know you want me"  
  
"What I want, is you to get over yourself and piss off"  
  
Lily was getting even more pissed off by the second, how dare Christie come down here and start hitting on him. James, Remus and Peter looked amused, but Lily noticed that Remus also looked angry. Lana was more pissed off,too.  
  
Christie pulled a face at Sirius that was supposed to be seductive, but Sirius just frowns.  
  
"You look like a flobberworm when you pull that face. Makes you look fat." James said to Christie, getting laughs out of everyone except Lily, who James noticed looked extremely annoyed, which is odd cos it takes a lot to wind Lily up. Lana also laughed at James, wondering why she could hear their convesation when theyre about 100ft below her and to the right.  
  
Christie suddenly moved in and kissed Sirius, and Sirius hesitated, for just a second, but shoved her away roughly, and Lily walked over to Chrisite and pulled her back by her hair.  
  
"You stupid BITCH!" Lily screamed "you need to back OFF - "  
  
James grinned, finding angry Lily very sexy, and Remus and Peter looked astounded that Lily had it in her, and Sirius eyes were blazing, and his first thought was "oh god, I hope Lana didnt see that and think - "  
  
He was stopped in his thoughts, Lily stopped pulling at Christies hair, and James, Remus and Peter were jumped out of their shocked states to hear someone -  
  
"OH TELL ME YOU JUST DIDNT!" Lana shouted, from the Gryffindor girls dorm tower window ledge.  
  
Sirius brow furrowed, and everyone turned to look at Lana, who was looking around to get down, when a huge gust of wind knocked her off her balance and she started to fall...  
  
"LANA!" Sirius shouted and started running in her direction, as did the others, except Christie, who stood there, shocked.  
  
"oh fuck...good idea Lana...now youre gonna die" were Lanas thoughts as she fell. "oops." She screamed.  
  
Sirius couldnt look, but yet he couldnt tear his eyes away. He fumbled for his wand, trying to think of a spell to stop her falling, but none came. He thought the last thing she will have seen was that bitch kissing me...  
  
James did the same as Sirius, and found he could think of nothing.  
  
Remus was trying to control his inner wolf.  
  
Peter stood, gawping.  
  
Lily screamed.  
  
Lana fell.  
  
And fell.  
  
And fell.  
  
And fell.  
  
And fell.  
  
And fell.  
  
About 6 inches from the floor, Lana stopped. She jerked, as if someone had just slung a hook into her back and stopped her, and had tried to yank her back up, but had failed at the latter. She gasped, stopped screaming and just hovered there.  
  
"Well...thats not right.." she said out loud.  
  
Sirius frowned and looked at the others..."Anyone do that?" he asked.  
  
They all shook their heads. Lana dropped to the floor with a bang. "ouch...son of a bitch.."  
  
Sirius walked over and helped Lana to her feet. "Are you okay?" he looked at her.  
  
"Im fine...but I shouldnt be..." she said, as Sirius pulled her into a tight hug, and kissed her cheek.  
  
"Who did it? Who caught me?" Lana asked, looking around.  
  
"Nobody.." said James, thinking he should have said yes and took the credit for saving Lana.  
  
"Weird....." Lana said, and Remus and Peter nodded in agreement. Lily ran over and hugged Lana, pulling her away from Sirius.  
  
"Oh thank god your alright, i thought you were gonna die, what were you doing up there anyway?" Lily asked.  
  
"Oh, I just like the view...the breeze..." Lanas gaze floated back to Sirius, who looked into her eyes. "Although the view wasnt so good tonight..." and he looked away.  
  
Behind them, Christie started laughing. "Really cant get rid of you?"  
  
Lanas eyes narrowed, and she shoved past Sirius and Lily. "I thought I warned you if you came near him Id rip you limb from limb."  
  
"Youre just a little girl....what are you gonna do?" Christie mocked.  
  
"Leave her alone" Sirius said, standing next to Lana.  
  
"Oooh, how sweet..."  
  
"Yeah, it is aint it?" Peter said, "I bet youre wishing so much that youre Lana right now arent you?"  
  
Lana was amazed at Peters dead on observation, yet again...He doesnt speak much, she thought...but when he does, he always makes a point..  
  
Christie snorted, and said "Did you see him kiss me? Cant stay faithful can you Sirius?"  
  
Lana looked from Christie to Sirius, and back again. "I saw" she said..  
  
James was about to say something in Sirius defence, but Lana put a hand up to silence him.  
  
"I saw you march your trampy ass down here after you tried to warn me away from Sirius, but thing is, Im already with him. You couldnt take it...Youre jealous. Its pathetic. I heard what you said to him, I heard what he said to you. I saw you kiss him, not the other way around."  
  
"It takes two to tango"  
  
Sirius and everyone exchanged glances, wondering how Lana heard.  
  
"You heard?" Remus asked.  
  
Lana nodded.  
  
"He'll just hurt you Lana"  
  
"Yeah, you keep saying that Christie. Maybe he will...I dont think that far ahead. I live in the moment. But unlike you, I'll get over it."  
  
Christie had nothing to say to this, and Sirius turned away from them both, both of the girls words ringing true in his ears. James and Lily watches Sirius, while Remus was intently watching Lana. Lana was keeping her voice steady, while Christies was full of venom. Lana even seemed slightly amused by this, Remus thought.  
  
Christie was going red in the face, and she lunged for Lana, but Lana just kept her eyes fixed on Christie, and then, Lanas eyes flashed with red for a few seconds, (blink and youll miss it, Remus thought) and then Christies hair caught on fire.  
  
Christie stopped in her tracks, and ran off, her hair burning slightly.  
  
Lana turned around to Sirius, James, Remus, Peter and Lily. She smiled slightly.  
  
"Some people...." she sighed.  
  
Sirius had started to have serious thoughts about what Christie had said. He knew that she was just being petty, because hed slept with her and then dumped her, but she was right...Except for him using Lana. If he had been using her, hed have done it by now, or if they hadnt, he would have dumped her anyway. Now he was more confused than ever as to what he wanted...should he end it now, to save Lana from the pain, but pain from what? Hes not using her....arghhhhhhhh. Sirius mentally kicked himself.  
  
"Can we talk?" Lana said to Sirius, raising an eyebrow.  
  
Sirius shoved his hands in his jean pockets, trying to act casual. "Sure."  
  
Lana smiled at the rest of the group, and walked a little away from them, so they cant over hear them.  
  
He always does that when hes nervous, Lana noted. The hands in the pocket....She smiled.  
  
"Why are you smiling?" he asked her.  
  
"Because of you."  
  
"She kissed me, I swear it, I - "  
  
But he was cut off by Lanas lips on his. She put her hands on the back of his neck, and moved her fingers up and down slowly, tickling him. That drove him wild. He wrapped his armd around her waist, pulled her body closer to his.  
  
Lana pulled away slowly and looked up at him.  
  
"I know that she kissed you. She said something to me earlier, before she came out here."  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes and groaned.  
  
"I know...And, I know."  
  
"What do you mean?" he asked, confused.  
  
"Your reputations not exactly....the best. But....the way I see it...if it works out, it works out...if it doesnt, then..well it doesnt. I know what youre like..."  
  
Sirius didnt know what to say, but he was saved my James, Remus, and Peter walking over.  
  
"Lilys gone to bed, so - " James stopped, and stood staring at Lana. So did Remus and Peter, although Remus had a different look in his eyes to the other two.  
  
Lana stepped back from Sirius, her right hand on her hip.  
  
"Have I got something on my face?" she said, looking at them.  
  
"Woohooo Padfoot, you picked a good one in Lana, you were right, that belly bar is HOT, and so is the rest - " James stopped mid sentence, from a punch to the ribs by Remus.  
  
Lana frowned slightly, then looked down. She realised that she was just wearing her tiny black hotpants (think Kylies gold ones but black and some other kind of material, lol) and a black halter neck, just skimming her belly bar. Her robe had come undone during the fall, she figured. She blushed heavily, glad that it was dark so no-one can see. Oh shit, she thought....how do I come back from this one?  
  
"Had a good look James?" she asked, all arrogance and attitude, but not feeling it at all.  
  
"HELL YEAH!" James said, "You said it yourself Padfoot, shes HOT and you were right, that belly bar is cute..mm mm"  
  
"HELLO?!?! stood right HERE!" Lana said, pissed off, wondering what Sirius had said about her.  
  
Remus laughed, and Lana looked at him, and then to Peter.  
  
"Fashion tip Peter. Mouth looks better closed." she said, pulling her robe around her. Sirius thought it was funny, but stifled a laugh. Peter shut his mouth, looked away.  
  
"You gotta admit it Sirius, come on, back me up here you two, I dont know how you control yourself...How can you have waited this long? Mind you, I can see now why youve waited and stuck with her... Id wait like....3 years to have a go with this piece of ass!"  
  
Sirius is making motions across his neck with his hand, trying to get James to shut up before James gets him in trouble. Too late, Lana shot an evil glance at Sirius and started walking up the lawn to the castle.  
  
"Well done, you bloody idiot" Sirius said to James, before running after Lana.  
  
"LANA! LANA WAIT!"  
  
She stopped and turned around.  
  
"Thats all I am? A piece of ass?"  
  
"No, thats just James...you know what hes like."  
  
"Yeah, and I know what youre like too. For once, I thought, maybe its different. I didnt think it too much, cos, hello, not stupid, but I thought it just a little."  
  
"It is different."  
  
"Yeah, sure, whatever...It was fun while it lasted Sirius. Bye bye."  
  
And with that Lana, turned around and carried on walking quickly up the lawn, tears brimming but cursing herself for ever thinking it. Sirius stood, dejected on the lawn, not knowing what to do or say. 


	13. The Date that was not a Date

Lana went straight up to her room, pulled the curtains around her bed, and climbed in. Tears stung her eyes, and she let them out, wetting the pillow slightly. Lana turned the pillows over and pulled the covers around her. She curled up and closed her eyes, and fell asleep.  
  
Sirius kicked the bench that sat on the grounds, then cursed as he hurt his foot. "Fuck.Fuck."  
  
James looked at him. "Im sorry."  
  
"Doesnt matter, shed probably have broken up with me anyway."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"That Christie bitch was putting ideas in her head earlier, and this and what you said, and I know you didnt mean it in that way, just made it worse."  
  
"Well, Lana is the ice queen, you know that."  
  
"Yeah, you know that Prongs didnt mean it like that, but does Lana?" Peter asked.  
  
They thought this over and it appeared as no, she didnt.  
  
"Im going to bed" Sirius said, and walked off, leaving the other 3 on the lawn.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ MORNING - SATURDAY - HOGSMEADE TRIP ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lily went into Lanas dorm room and pulled back one of the curtains around her bed, and sat on Lanas bed, then pulled it back around again. "Lana," she said, shaking her. "Lana....wake up"  
  
Lana turned and looked at Lily.  
  
"Ive been awake for hours."  
  
"Youve still got time for some breakfast, if you want to get some before we go into Hogsmeade."  
  
"Im not going."  
  
"Oh, Lana, I know that you and Sirius broke up, but you shouldnt just not go so you can avoid him."  
  
"I know, but the point is, I know Im gonna bump into him no matter where I go in Hogsmeade, and I really dont wanna see him right now."  
  
Lily smiled a little, and Lana sat up.  
  
"Whats funny?"  
  
"You really should have just ignored James."  
  
"Youre not mad at him for saying - well, you know.." Lana blushed.  
  
Lily laughed. "Hes always like it...But I dont care, cos I know he loves me."  
  
"Yeah, James loves you, so youre okay..but Sirius doesnt love me, I dont love him, and I never expected that. Well, maybe I did, but not straight away, and I didnt think it would last past the groping in the cupboards, but it did, and then it lasted another week, then another, then almost a month till last night."  
  
Lily sighed, and pulled Lana by the arm. "Come on, get up, get dressed, Im taking you for some retail therapy. You need it."  
  
"Yay, shopping!" Lana smiled and climbed out of bed. "But we have to go to Honeydukes. I need comfort food."  
  
"Do you like him? I mean, really like him?" Lily asked, running a hand through her hair as Lana got undressed.  
  
Lana stopped, studied Lily for a moment. "Yes. Pathetic isnt it? Im just like every other girl, gawping after him and then moping when it doesnt work"  
  
"Youre not pathetic. And....youre not like every other girl"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well....Do you really wanna know?"  
  
Lily was kept from saying anything more as Proffessor McGonagall came up to the dorms.  
  
"Come on Lana, hurry up and get dressed. Morning Lily." then she smiled and left the dorm.  
  
Lana pulled on some light blue jeans, that were low on her hips, tight in all the right places, and flarey at the bottom. She pulled on a top that zipped from top to bottom, like a jacket that you wear nothing underneath. She zipped it up, then decided to rub in what Sirius was missing, seeing as they all thought she was so hot, although Lana doubted it herself. Lana zipped it up, but kept it low enough to show some cleavage, and zipped the other zip up, so that it had a split up the bottom too, showing her belly button bar. She slipped some silver hoopy earrings in, brushed her hair, left it down, slicked some light brown lipstick on and stepped into her trainers.  
  
"Nice colour top..." Lily said, noting Lanas red top.  
  
"Its my colour..I look great in it.." Lana said with a grin.  
  
==============THE BOYS DORM===============  
  
Sirius sat on his bed, hair messed up, fastening his black shirt up half- heartedly.  
  
"Im gonna show you some real talent, show you what youve been missing out on, Padfoot old friend" James announced.  
  
Sirius barely heard him. For some reason, since their argument last night, and theyre breaking up, he couldnt get his mind off Lana. What the hells wrong with me, he thought. Shes just a girl. He stopped buttoning his shirt and stared into space. You were together 3 weeks. Not serious...  
  
Sirius groaned and layed back down on the bed.  
  
"Now whats wrong?"  
  
"I cant stop thinking about her...Argh, Im so mad at her...And were supposed to be going to Hogsmeade together, like our first date."  
  
"For what? She didnt do anything" said Remus  
  
"So its all my fault then?"  
  
"Well....yeah" he said, matter-of-factly.  
  
"Hows that then, Moony?" asked James.  
  
"Well, Prongs, Padfoot, Id just like to point out that you both have reputations as being womanisers. Lily was the same when she started going out with you James, careful in case she was just another of your conquests"  
  
"She cant hold my past against me, thats not fair"  
  
"Why isnt it? For all she knows, she was just another one..."  
  
Sirius looked at Moony, finally picking up on what he meant.  
  
"So if I want her back, which I dont," he said, after a look from James "Id have to...somehow prove that Im changing? That shes not just another one?"  
  
"Only if you mean it. Do you?" asked Peter.  
  
"Yes. No. I dont know...Yes."  
  
"You better make your mind up...Ive heard that theres about 3 guys wanting to ask her out....and now that the main competition has gone.." He looked at Sirius "Im guessing theyre all gonna be piling in there."  
  
Sirius sat up and continued doing his shirt, and they sat there for a few minutes until they heard McGonagall shouting for them in the common room.  
  
They reached the bottom of the boys stairs just as Lana and Lily reached the bottom of the girls stairs. Sirius looked straight at Lana, and noted that she was looking HOT today, but in a casual sort of way, not in a im-a- whore-with-all-my-ass-showing kinda way. Lana looked around and looked at Sirius, but instead of looking away, like she felt like doing, he held her gaze at him, and he went to say hey, but then she veered off to the left, to go talk to Lilys friends.  
  
Lana lowered her gaze and the passive look shed had in her eyes when she looked at Sirius disappeared. Instead, they glassed over, and she kicked herself mentally, and looked around, to find Sirius still staring at her, and he locked eyes with hers, and she saw hurt in his eyes, too, but knew it was better if they stayed apart.  
  
Then Sirius had to do the typical Sirius thing, and flirt right in front of the girl hed just been with. He grabbed some 5th years ass, and said "hey babe" winked at her and she blushed and giggled, walked off.  
  
Lana saw this and didnt look too happy. Two can play that game, Sirius baby...  
  
As they walked across the grounds, Lana saw one of the guys from Slytherin eyeing her up, and she noted that it was Lucius Malfoy....He wasnt too bad looking....Main thing that let him down was his personality, and the fact that he was blonde when she liked dark haired men..but hed do the trick. Lana smiled and waved at Lucius, who smiled back. As Lana caught up with Lily, Lucius slapped her ass, hard, as she walked past. "hey...." she said, half teasing, half mad. Lana gave him a look that said - you really shouldnt do that, but oh well. Then she walked through the gates, and lost track of him. Not that she cared, it was just Lucius.  
  
Unfortunately, Lily decided to go meet James and the Maurders in the Three Broomsticks for a drink later that day. Lana looked at Lily, Lily told her to just ignore whatever Sirius says to her. Easier said than done, Lana thought to herself.  
  
The Three Broomsticks was packed full of students by the time Lily and Lana got in there, but James, Sirius, Remus and Peter had managed to get a table big enough for 8 people to sit around. Sirius looked like hed been on the Firewhisky all day, and so did James. Remus had huge bags under his eyes, and Peters little eyes were darting around all over the place.  
  
"I dont wanna go sit with them Lil"  
  
"Come on"  
  
"No, seriously, I dont want to.  
  
"Please...for me"  
  
"Fine. But if he says anything,Im going.."  
  
"JAMES!" Lily called across the pub, waving to him. James looked up and blew her a kiss.  
  
"HEY SEXY!" as Lily strode across the room, Lana walking a step behind her. Sirius looked up and saw her, rolled his eyes and leant back on the chair.  
  
Lily walked over and sat down, and Lucius grabbed Lana by the hand and pulled her a few feet away from the table where The Maurders were sat. Sirius eyes narrowed and Remus watched them intently.  
  
Lucius backed Lana into a wall, put one hand on the wall beside her, making her feel kind of trapped.  
  
"Lana....." Lucius drawled.  
  
"Hey Lucius"  
  
"Youre looking....very nice today" he said in a tone that made the hairs stand up on the back of Lanas neck.  
  
"Thanks...I just kinda threw it on, you know, its only Hogsmeade, not like Ive got anyone to impress" she said, looking over at them, trying to signal somehow for one of them to get-me-away-from-here-now!  
  
Lucius followed her gaze. "You dont want to be with him, hes a total waste of space. People like him, and especially that Lily are going to end up - " Lucius caught himself.  
  
"End up what? And what do you mean by 'that Lily'?" her tone of voice very edgy.  
  
Lucius ran a hand down Lanas face, "Youre a very pretty girl Lana, you know that" and it carried on down her neck, body and stopped at the outside of her thigh, near the top.  
  
"Really? Never knew..." her breath caught in her throat, more than a little wigged out.  
  
*  
* "WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING?" Sirius said, jealous and drunk and angry.  
  
"Theyre just talking Sirius, chill out, she is allowed to talk to people you know" Lily said.  
  
"Yeah well, not him...." Sirius replied, glaring. "As long as he doesnt touch her.."  
  
"You dont own her Sirius, you had your chance"  
  
"Dont you think I know that?" Sirius caught himself "Not like I care anyway. I could have any girl here." he ran a hand through his dark hair, forcing himself to tear his eyes away from the obvious flirting.  
  
"But which girl do you actually want, Sirius?" Remus asked. Sirius didnt reply, just kept watching them. *  
*  
  
Lana slapped Lucius hand away, and he grabbed her wrist.  
  
"Lana...dont play all coy...I know what kind of girl you really are" Lucius drawled  
  
"No..you really dont." Lana said, trying to repress how scared she was.  
  
Lucius then slammed his other hand into the wall, now totally blocking Lana from view. He leaned in close to her, and she felt herself pressing back into the wall.  
  
"Come on...you know you want it..." Lucius said, leaning closer.  
  
"Sod off" Lana spat at him.  
  
Lucius eyebrow twitched, and he grabbed Lana by the arms, slammed her into the wall. "Be nice..."  
  
Lana winced. "Get off me..." she said panicing a lot now.  
  
"Lana..." he said, holding her tighter  
  
"Get off me Lucius, I mean it, let me fucking go!" Lana struggled against him.  
  
"Lana..."  
  
"Dont say my name like that, let fucking go of me now!"  
  
Lucius laughed and kissed Lana roughly on the lips, and she kicked him in the shins.  
  
"Im gonna have to scrub my lips off now youve kissed me" she spat at him. *  
*  
  
Sirius watched as Lucius slid his hand down Lanas body, and the small shot glass he was clutching smashed.  
  
"Fuck" he said, pulling a chunk of glass from his hand.  
  
"You okay?" Remus asked  
  
"No Im fucking not", he pointed to Lucius and Lana.  
  
Lily looked over and was a little worried, she knew what a pig Lucius could be, even more than Sirius and James...  
  
"Sirius, just go get shagged" James advised.  
  
"James!" Lily said, slapping his arm.  
  
"Aw you know you love me Lilykins" James said in a baby voice, and kisses her.  
  
"Not when you do that voice I dont"  
  
Sirius stood up to get a better view as Lucius slammed his hand into the wall, blocking Lana from view. He could see her clearly, and she did not look pleased.  
  
"What the fuck..."  
  
Remus stood up at this point, and saw Lucius leaning in closer to Lana, and Lana trying to break free of him.  
  
"SON OF A BITCH!" Sirius shouted and shoved past Remus and Peter, only to be blocked by more crowds. How dare he touch Lana like that? How dare he try and do that? Thats my girl! get off! actually..not my girl. But SON OF A BITCH.  
  
"Padfoot wait! I wanna hit him too!" shouted James as he walked after Sirius.  
  
As he shoved past them, he saw Lucius kiss Lana and ker kicking him. He finally reached them just as -  
  
"Im gonna have to scrub my lips off now youve kissed me" she spat at him.  
  
Lucius tightened his grip on Lana, "ouch" she said.  
  
"Let go of me Lucius"  
  
"Or what? You think your ex is gonna come kick my ass?" Lucius laughed, "He doesnt give a damn about anyone"  
  
"No, Im gonna kick your ass" Lana said  
  
This caused more laughter from Lucius, but he soon shut up as Lana kneed him in the bollocks and he bent forward, tears in his eyes, and then she punched him in the jaw, knocking him to the floor.  
  
"You son of a bitch..." Lana said to him, clearly shaken, and, again, wondering where her mega strength had come from. She put her hands over her face for a few seconds, and when she moved them, Sirius had Malfoy up against the wall by his collar.  
  
"Touch her again, you bastard, when shes said no, Ill fucking kill you"  
  
"Why, you think shell get back with you or something?"  
  
"Shed never touch you, shes got class, unlike you, you fucking prick"  
  
Lana groaned and put her hand on her forehead. "Sirius put him down, I think getting his ass kicked by a girl has upset him enough"  
  
Sirius let him down, and Malfoy and Snape left the pub. James was laughing his head off (*LOL*) at Lana, and so was Lily, Remus and Peter.  
  
Lana stood looking at Sirius. He looked back. They were both about to say something when Professor Mcgonagall walked over, looking annoyed.  
  
"Fighting. Sirius Black, I expected it of you, but you...Lana Madison..." she tuttted.  
  
"He was trying it on!"  
  
"Youre not exactly dressed in a non-provocative way are you Lana?"  
  
Lana gasped and said "What so Im supposed to just stand there and let him try and rape me then?"  
  
"Detention. Both of you. For 3 nights. It will begin on Monday night, come to my office."  
  
"Proffessor, that is so NOT fair! How can you say that? It was bloody self defence! And I have jeans and a t-shirt on. Oh Im sorry, should I dress more like you, and walk around looking like Im constipated?"Lana raged, fists clenched.  
  
"20 points from Gryffindor, and a weeks worth of detention for that comment, Lana Madison."  
  
"But - "  
  
"10 more points. And 10 more will be deducted everytime you protest." she swept out of the Three Broomsticks.  
  
Lana sighed and Sirius rolled his eyes. He was used to detention from the head of house. Also it meant spending time with Lana...which would have been fun, if not for the look that she was giving him right now...still, maybe he could try that..'ive changed' thing that Moony was talking about...And he would mean it. Hell, he did mean it. For some reason, he couldnt get Lana out of his mind, couldnt stop feeling guilty for her falling...how had she caught herself? Never mind about that...He just wanted Lana back. This time, sex didnt matter. Oh god...It just occured to Sirius that sex had NEVER been the most important thing the 3 weeks and 4 days they were together...Just being with Lana was. Of course sex mattered, but..not the top of his priorities...His first thought had not been "wonder how i can get her into bed?"  
  
James was in fits of laughter, as was Remus and Peter. James clapped Lana on the back.  
  
"Oh Lana, that was great, I never knew you had the sarcasm in you" he said.  
  
"Youd be suprised" she replied.  
  
Lana coughed and looked from Sirius to James, who was already steering her back to the table. Lana didnt sit down.  
  
"Um, Im gonna go now...Im not really in the mood, after..." Lana said.  
  
"Dont be a stupid bint Lana, sit down." Remus demanded. Although he could feel the tension between Lana and Sirius, he wasnt sure which it was - sexual or just plain old youre mye ex get out of my face tension.  
  
Lana looked at Sirius, and decided "No. Im fine. Really."  
  
And out she went. "women" James muttered.  
  
Lana stepped out into the cold November air, wishing that shed brought a coat out with her, it had been sunny this morning, but now, approaching evening, the temperarture had dropped and a brisk wind had started to blow. Winters definately here now, Lana thought, as she pulled her hands inside the sleeves of her jacket.  
  
Sirius stood looking from the door to Lily, who nodded and Sirius walked out of the door. He had to talk to her, say something, say anything...  
  
"Lana" he shouted after her, wondering if shed hear him over the wind, "Lana".  
  
She heard hin shouting to her, and decided to ignore him. "Lana" he shouted for the third time, and she knew she would regret it, but she stopped. He caught up with her and stood in front of her.  
  
"Hey" Lana said to him, arms wrapped around herself, shivering slightly, teeth chattering.  
  
"Hey..." and then there was an awkward silence for a few seconds.  
  
"Um, Sirius..did you want something? Cos Im kinda cold." Lana asked, wishing he would just go, but at the same time glad he had made the effort to come out and talk to her.  
  
Sirius stood there, hands slammed in his jeans pockets. Swaying slightly. Drunk.  
  
"Well arent you gonna say thanks?" he asked, sounding a little pissed.  
  
"What?" Confused, Lana looked at him.  
  
"I did just warn that Malfoy bastard away from you" he said, looking down at her.  
  
"Yeah, whats your point?...I kicked his ass."  
  
"You wouldnt have to if you didnt...flirt all the time."  
  
Lana raised an eyebrow. "Me? Flirt? Sirius Black is telling ME off for flirting?" she laughed a little, although not really amused. "You cant talk."  
  
"I think I just did. Talk, that is. And, oh look, doing it again."  
  
Lana stared at him.  
  
"And who do you think you are? Flirting with someone right in front of me, rubbing it in"  
  
Lana stared at him. "Huh? Me rubbing it in? Rubbing WHAT in, exactly, Sirius?"  
  
"That you dumped me."  
  
"Again, huh?"  
  
"Forget it."  
  
Lana put her hands on her hips, rolled her eyes. "You are SO childish. You act like you dont give a shit, and now youre all 'ooh dont flirt with anyone' and again with the 'i dont give a shit' attitude."  
  
Sirius shoved his hair from eyes, stepped forward a little, and Lana stepped back.  
  
"I do care." he told her quietly.  
  
"You care that Im flirting with other people and that makes you jealous, or you care about me?"  
  
Sirius was done being nice. She had hurt him last night, and here she was, insulting him, and he was drunk, and..  
  
"Dont flatter yourself Lana, I could have any girl in there."  
  
"Dont YOU flatter YOURSELF Sirius, youre such a fucking swell head."  
  
"Well I could, and you know it."  
  
"Yeah, thats why I ended it." she said, barely audible. Then her voice rose, pissed off that he would say that to her. "So go on, go have EVERY FUCKING GIRL IN THERE SIRIUS, GO FUCK THEM ALL, IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY."  
  
Lana shoved past him.  
  
"Maybe I will" he shouted after her.  
  
Lana quickened her pace as some rain began to fall, and Sirius just clenched his fists and looked for something to punch.  
  
He slammed back into the Three Broomsticks and ordered 2 large firewhiskys and sat down with Remus and Peter.  
  
"Do I even have to ask where the two love birds are?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Nope. The usual. Off somewhere together." Peter said.  
  
"Fucking women. If relationships are more complicated than a break up, count me out."  
  
"You and Lana fight?" Remus asked.  
  
"Yeah. I was gonna ask if she was alright, and then she just gave me this look, like 'dont waste my time' and then she said I was childish." he slammed his firewhiskys on the table. "I am not childish."  
  
Remus smirked. "You should have just apologised."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For last night. Just try telling her how you feel."  
  
"I dont know how I feel myself. I dont know if Im ready for...but at the same time I just wanna be with her and now Im pissed off that I fucked it up again."  
  
Remus smirked, knowing that Sirius was ready, he was just denying it. "Just give her a few days to cool off."  
  
"Worst thing is, shes got 3 nights detention with me." 


	14. Monday

(NOTE : I KNOW THIS IS NOT A LONG CHAPTER,BUT I THOUGHT ID GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO READ ANYWAY. iM STILL WRITING THIS CHAPTER,SO IT WILL BE UPDATED AND LONGER. Thanks to all the lovely people who keep writing reviews, write more! I swear, reviews for writers are like heroin to junkies..ahem.)  
  
Sunday had been a nightmare. Lana wanted to go sit in the common room, but Sirius was there and she do did not want to even look at him. So she made her way past Sirius and the gang, ignoring Remus shouts to come over. Lana sat in the library all day, looking for something, anything that would explain the weird things that shed been able to do over the past few days.  
  
Lana sat in the corner, on a pile of about 4 bean bags, surrounded by about 10 books, all open at certain pages. As she flicked through the last book, Lana slammed it down and sighed. She ran her hands through her hair, pushing it back from her face. "Dammit".  
  
Meanwhile, Sirius had *the* map out, and was looking for Lana on it. He saw that she was in the far corner of the library, and he wanted to go and talk to her, but Moony had told him to give her some time, and Sirius thought that he was probably right. And, he had all Mondays detention to talk to her. If they werent just writing lines, and hed had so many detentions with Mcgonagall to know that they wouldnt be writing lines.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ==========MONDAY MORNING========== ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana fastened her skirt at the side, pulled the zip up. Lana shifted it down, so it sat on her hips. She hated anything that came within an inch of her belly button, cos of the bar, and its just damn uncomfortable anyway. Lana loosened her tie, and then set about parting her hair along the right hand side, then down the back, then seperated the two chunks into three, and plaited each side to about halfway down, leaving them half-plaits, half- bunches. Tied them with red elastic bobbles. Lana rubbed at her eyes, still half asleep. The dream had disturbed her. Flashes of green light, nd people screaming. And then silence. Lana shook herself, and grabbed her red robe, pulling it around her and leaning forward to pull her black socks up to just abover her knees. Cute, she thought. She grabbed her clear lipgloss and slicked it on quickly, already late for breakfast, her rooms mates already gone.  
  
Lana fell down the last two steps of the stairs, and she was grabbed by someone.  
  
"Might hurt yourself" came Remus voice from behind her. She straightened herself up, turned to look at him. He looked terrible. Sandy blonde hair messier than James', is that was possible. He was pale and had dark circles around his eyes. Remus obviously noticed the concerned look on her face.  
  
"Fucking hell, you look like I feel....Are you okay?" Lana asked, putting a hand just below his blackened eyes. He shifted uncomfortably. "Get in a fight or something?"  
  
"Yes. Yes. Got in a fight with some guy in the Three Broomsticks." Remus said, grateful that she had unwillingly given him the excuse that he was looking for and not being able to find. "You think Im bad, you should see him." he said with a wink and a grin.  
  
Lana shook her head. "Wheres the rest of the gang?" she asked, looking around.  
  
"Sirius has already gone down, Lana..I think were later than we thought." Remus said with another grin.  
  
"Sod off Remus, like I meant Sirius..." she trailed off, sniffing and biting at her nails.  
  
"Okay..." he said, not believing her.  
  
Lana linked arms with Remus as they walked across the common room.  
  
As they walked into the Great Hall, the sky above was overcast and cloudy. Lana let go of Remus and joined the girls from her year. Sirius saw them and looked over at Lana, and she gave him a small smile. He was a little thrown by this, as the last time he tried to make eye contact with her, as she left the common room, she had given him the finger and a look that could kill.  
  
Lana smiled to herself even more as she turned her back, glad that she had smiled at him, maybe they could...never mind. At least the atmosphere in the detention wouldnt be as icy...Still icy, but less so...She sighed, knowing that she wanted him back so bad....But knowing that she had over- reacted the other day, and then in Hogsmeade..shed blown it.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ========MONDAYS DETENTION========== ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana was sat in the Common Room, at a table, parchment and potions text books laid out in front of her. Lana pushed loose strands of her hair from her face. She set her quill down, and sighed. Its a good job Im actually good at Potions, she thought, as she shut the first of three text books. Typical. Get loaded with Potions homework on the day that a weeks worth of detentions with Mcgonagall starts.  
  
Sirius sat on the chair nearest the fire, just staring blankly into it. He was being unusually quiet, and they all knew it was mainly because of the detentions hes going to have with Lana. Still, not like him to sit and brood over a girl. His dark hair that came just above his ears hung in his face, his short sleeved white shirt showing his slightly tanned, muscular arms. His tie was loose and hanging down a lot lower than it should be. James and Lily sat together on the sofa, Remus was in the dorm, and Peter was sat next to Sirius. He ruffled his hair and looked up as a shadow fell over him.  
  
"Hey." Lana said quietly.  
  
Sirius tried not to look as pleased as he felt that Lana had come over to him. "Hi Lana"  
  
Lana folded her arms over her black v-neck sweater, the collar showing. Her black skirt was short, but not too short. Her hair was still neatly in the plaits, after she had done them for the 5th time that day.  
  
"Well?" Lana asked.  
  
"Well what?"  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Are you coming?"  
  
"Oooo does Lana and Sirius have a datey?" James asked, in that same stupid annoying voice.  
  
"Yeah" Lana replied. Sirius looked at her.  
  
"We both do. With Mcgonagall. Detention. Remember?"  
  
"Oh, yeah" Sirius stood up.  
  
"Are you okay Lana? From yesterday, with that Malfoy creep?" Lily asked.  
  
Lana raised her eyebrows. "Well, you know what men are like. They think no means yes, and get lost means - " Lana fluttered her eyelashes "Take me in yours." Peter sniggered, and Lana didnt like him anyway, and this just irritated her. She pointed at him as she said "Ask little Peter here. He should know all about that."  
  
James burst out laughing, and Sirius laughed too. Lily smirked, amused, and Lana nodded at her, and mouthed "im fine" as Peter got up and walked off to the dorm. Lana turned to Sirius.  
  
"Guess someones gotta be rejected for all the times youre not" she said, and walked across the common room, and out of the portrait hole. Sirius ran after her, caught up quickly.  
  
"Why do you always do that?" he asked, looking at her from the side as they walked.  
  
"Do what?" Lana replied, putting on an innocent tone.  
  
Sirius moved and stood in front of her, blocking her way. "You know what."  
  
Lana looked up at him. "Am I gonna have to give you a black eye too, Sirius? Cos really dont wanna spoil that pretty face of yours"  
  
"Malfoy has a black eye?"  
  
"Yeah..." and then they both started laughing, and Sirius moved to the side and they carried on walking.  
  
"You think Ive got a pretty face? What happened to 'ruggedly handsome'?" he said with a grin. Lana looked up at him and smiled, secretly happy that they were talking and not trading insults.  
  
"Well, that too." she said, and winked as she turned right and knocked on Mcgonagalls door, and walked in.  
  
"Lana, Sirius....sit down." Mcgonagall said, indicating the chairs in front of her desk.  
  
They avoided each others eyes as they sat down in front of Mcgonagall.  
  
"I am aware that, at your age, you have hormones running all over the place, especially you, Sirius, I seem to find you in the common room with a different girl each week."  
  
Sirius rubbed his forhead with his right hand, cringing at what Mcgonagall had just said.  
  
"That, I can just about tolerate.But fighting with Lucius Malfoy over Lana, in a public place, on a school trip, I will not. And Lana, as for you,you gave Lucius a black eye. and that, I wont, and shouldnt have to tolerate from anyone, especially with someone of your talents and intelligence. And Do you have anything to say?"  
  
Sirius looked at Lana, who looked at Mcgonagall, with a bored expression on her face.  
  
"Shouldve hit him harder...and more." Lana said, and shrugged and sighed.  
  
"My point, Lana Madison, is that if you do not change your attitude, I will have to write a letter home, maybe followed by suspension. And I would hate to do this very much, because you are - I mean, could be, a very powerful witch. I would hate you to waste your talent."  
  
Lana crossed her legs and pushed a loose strand of hair from her face.  
  
"Whatever. Do whatever."  
  
Sirius stared at Lana, half in awe, half wondering what the hell she was doing. He and the Maurders had always pushed the line, but had never gone as far as to get suspended, but some, most, of the things they had done, or had possesion of, was enough to get them expelled, easily.  
  
Mcgonagall studied Lana for a few minutes, and Lana didnt flinch under Mcgonagalls gaze. She did look away from her a few times, but other than that.  
  
"For your detentions, all of them, you will go upto the fourth floor corridor - "  
  
"Thats out of bounds" Sirius pointed out.  
  
"That never stopped you before" Lana said.  
  
"You will go to the fourth floor corridor," Mcgonagall continued, "and you will clean every suit of armour that there is."  
  
Lana made a noise of mild indignation, and Sirius rolled his eyes.  
  
"Dont you have like, house elves for that kind of thing?" Lana asked.  
  
"Not if theyre like Kreacher" Sirius said. Lana looked at him, confused. "My parents' house elf."  
  
"Oh..."  
  
"Well, off you go then." Mcgonagall waved her wand and buckets of water, other clenaing things, appeard and floated beside the chairs where Lana and Sirius were sat. Lana sighed, loudly, stood up and walked out of the door, slamming it open and Sirius looked at Mcgonagall and shrugged.  
  
Lana waited outside Mcgonagalls office and leaned against the opposite wall. She blew a red bubble of chewing gum as he walked out of the office, closing the door slowly. He looked at her and she looked right back, eyes and face showing no paticular expression or feeling.  
  
"I cant decide whether to go the long away around so I dont have to do as much cleaning, or go the short way so I just get it over with." Lana mused, looking around.  
  
Sirius swept his arms to the left, and she turned and walked with him.  
  
"Whats with you Lana?" Sirius asked, concerned.  
  
"What do you care?" she sneered, and looked away, tears brimming.  
  
They turned left again and started walking up the stairs, which shifted as they walked. The stairs clicked into place at the right door, and they continued up them, Sirius looking at Lana and Lana looking at her feet. Sirius shoved the door open and they walked inside the dark corridor. Lana muttered "lumos" and her wand lit up. Sirius did the same and they looked around the still dark corridor. Lana muttered "lumos magnificos" and her wand sent out sparks, lighting all the candles that hung from the ceiling and the walls. Sirius raised his eyebrows and looked at her.  
  
"What?" she asked, wondering why he was looking at her.  
  
"Thats a nice trick."  
  
"Yeah, I know...My mum showed it me..." Lana trailed off, remembering the huge fight she had had with her mum before she came back to Hogwarts, mainly because of Lanas mothers job, as an Unspeakable. Lana hated it, never knowing what her mother was doing, where she was, and Lana knew that if her mother ever died, it was unlikely that Lana would ever know the truth, or be able to bury her mother in one piece. Lana had gone through her mothers work folder, and had decoded the code easily..too easily, and Lana knew that there was a dark force stirring. The last straw came when her mother attempted to do a weak memory charm on her....  
  
Sirius was clicking his fingers in front of Lanas face.  
  
"Sorry...spaced out..." Lana shook herself and looked at him. He was stood close to her. Closer than he had been in days. Lana could feel herself trembling as she looked at him, she couldnt stop her hands shaking. His dark brown eyes locked on her lighter brown ones. The tension crackled between them, and Lana was glad to have him to herself, away from James, away from Christie, away from her own friends. Lana was all mixed up inside - she desperately wanted him to grab her and kiss her, and she desperately wanted to grab him and kiss him, but she didnt know if he would...  
  
They stared at each other for a moment, before Lana looked at him and said  
  
"Yeah, right, you think Im falling for that look" and turned around, walked slowly down the corridor, looking at the doors and the armor.  
  
Sirius sighed. "Like Id - " he shut up, not wanting to piss her off even more, they were on speaking terms. If you call a tiny bit of flirting and exchanging insults talking...  
  
Lana had set the cleaning equipment down on the floor and picked the suit of armor at the far end of the corridor, in the corner, in the dark, away from him. She leant against the wall, half-heartedly scrubbing the side of the armor.  
  
Sirius decided to hell with it, he wasnt gonna give up on Lana so easily, not when hes used to getting what he wants....and what he wants is Lana. He walked over and stood in front of her. Lana looked at him.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
He touched her cheek with his fingers lightly, and she kept her eyes locked onto his, and he could tell that she wanted him as much as wanted her...  
  
Lana trembled even more as Sirius' fingers touched her cheek. She bit down on her lip.  
  
He ran his hand down from her face and down her arms, moving his hand onto her waist, and leaning in closer, so that she was now fully pressed against the wall by his body.  
  
"Sirius..." he could feel her breath on him, and he ran a hand over her hair. "Dont..." she whispered.  
  
"Dont what?" he whispered into her ear, making the hair on the back of her neck stand up. He kissed her neck slowly, then looked at her.  
  
Lana could barely breathe, and she was torn between shoving him off, or - The decision was made for her as his left hand slid under her shirt and her placed his hand on the bottom of her back, and she felt his warm hands on her back, she melted. She looked up at him, about 3 inches shorter than him, their bodies touching, him close enough to kiss...Lana ran her hand through his tangled hair, and it came to rest on the back of his neck. The other hand grabbed him by his tie, pulling him closer if possible, and their lips met. Sirius ran his hand down Lanas leg, then he slowly ran his hand up the inside of her thigh, and Lana let out a light moan as thier kisses got more heated by the second. Sirius kissed Lanas neck, and she undid a few buttons on her shirt as he got lower.  
  
Then he stopped.  
  
Stepped back.  
  
Looked at her, then shook his head.  
  
"What?" Lana asked.  
  
"I cant" what the hells wrong with me? he thought.  
  
"Again, what?"  
  
He was saved from answering by Mcgonagall coming in, and Lana scrambling to pull her skirt down and fasten her shirt up. 


	15. Secrets and Lies : The Begining

Lana sat on the grass, on the tree closest to the lake. Although it was near the end of November, it was oddly warm. The sun managed to show itself through the thin layer of cloud, and there was no wind. She had no classes on a Wednesday afternoon, and she often came and sat out here, just looking out on the lake, wondering what kind of beasties were in it. She was wearing some light blue cord trousers, slung low, and a thick, white polo neck, which was thick enough to keep her warm with no top on underneath, but Lana had pulled on a white halter anyway. She had curled her hair the night before, and now it hung perfectly around her face. It had irritated her somewhat that the curls were never even, some were shorter, some tighter, some looser...But after the first 5 attempts to get them all the same, she decided that it looked better odd.  
  
She sat thinking about Sirius, about what had happened Monday, and she couldnt believe that she had gotten that caught up in him. She both loved and despised the effect that he had on her. Lana blushed slightly at just the memory of it. They hadnt gotten very far, because Sirius had backed off, leaving Lana feeling hurt. Had he finally just lost intrest? On Tuesday's detention, Sirius had tried to talk to her many times during the first hour, but she just answered him with one word answers, or ignored him. Lana felt kinda bad that she had given him the brush off, but at that moment, she hated the effect that Sirius had on her.  
  
And, hes given enough girls the brush off. But there you go again, she thought, thinking about his past. Just think about here and now. Youre not even going out with him and you were getting all pashy, as Lily called it when Lana had told her. Apparently, Sirius had told James, and from the looks that Remus and Peter kept giving her, they both figured James had told them as well. Lana just shrugged it off. Who cares? Let him tell who he wants...Not like he had alot to brag about.  
  
Not only that....Since she had used the spell that her mother had showed her on the few times that shed actually been around in all Lanas 14 years, shed been thinking about her a lot. It was coming up to Christmas and it had been almost 3 months since Lana had spoken to her. She decided that shed send her mother a letter at the end of the week, when shed had a good chance to think about what she was gonna write, exactly.."Hey mum. Sorry for telling the truth about me having to practically raise myself because youre always at your fucking job. Oh, and, by the way, it would help if I knew who my father was, seeing as I look nothing like you. And I miss you. I want you around more often. All I ever want is for you to accept me for who I am, although Im not even sure who I am." The argument had gotten more and more heated, with Lana telling her mum that she hated her. She hated her because she wrecked her life, because she always lies, and that she is always on a suicide mission working as an Unspeakable, and one day shed wind up dead earlier than she should be. Lana had never had the love from her mother that she wanted...Lana was treated more like a sister than a daughter.  
  
Lana opened the packet of Honeydukes fudge that she had brought and popped a piece into her mouth and chewed. A shadow flew across the sun for a split second, and Lana looked up to see an owl flying around in front of her.  
  
"Come here"she called to it. Lana undid the letter from its leg and it flew off.  
  
Lana Madison (the front read) Tree by the Lake Hogwarts  
  
Lana frowned as she turned it over and saw that the Ministry of Magic : Department of Mysteries stamped on the back in thick red wax, sealing it. Lanas breathing speeded up and she knew what it was before she opened it...  
  
"Oh my god..." Lana said as she slowly tore open the envelope and took the thick wad of parchment from it. Tears ran down Lanas face...  
  
************************************  
  
Christies cackling laughter rang through the Common Room as she pushed her way through the portrait. "Guess you got rid of the kid once and for all then babe" she drawled as she walked over to where Sirius was sat on the couch, and she draped her arms around him.  
  
"Fuck off Christie" he growled, shoving her away and moving onto the arm of the couch.  
  
"Why do you say that Christie?" Lily asked.  
  
Christie flicked her hair,grinning wickedly. "The kids sat crying outside on the grounds."  
  
Sirius stood up. "What did you say this time?" he raised his wand.  
  
"I didnt say anything, you dipshit. Thats why I asked what YOUD done."  
  
Lily looked at Sirius.  
  
"Im gonna ask you this once Christie, and then Im gonna get pissed off." Sirius told her, "Where is she?"  
  
"Oooo touchy arent we?" Christie said.  
  
"I'll find her myself then" Sirius muttered something and Christies face was covered in boils.  
  
"Sirius!" said Lily, sounding shocked, but Sirius had already gone through the portrait.  
  
James laughed. "It'll wear off...eventually..." as Christie ran off shrieking.  
  
**************************************  
  
Sirius quickly found her. He had sat with her in this spot a few times. He saw Lana was crying, and stood there...not knowing what to do.  
  
A shadow fell over Lana she knew it was Sirius before she even looked up. She wiped her eyes and looked up at him, as she was sat leaning against the tree, the parchment crumpled in her right hand.  
  
Sirius stuck his hands in his pockets and looked around, then at her. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Stupid question. Do I look okay?"  
  
"Yeah..It was a stupid question." he sighed and looked around again.  
  
"Looking for the blonde are we? Got a new girl already? I mean, I figure its been, what, 5 days, and after the other night when - and then you just backed off, I figured youd lost intrest and gone off with someone else." Lana spat, sarcastically and with a tone of anger and jealousy.  
  
Sirius looked down into her eyes and looked into them for a few minutes. From the look on his face and the look in his eyes, Lana could tell that she had hurt him by saying this. But she didnt give a fuck. No-one could be in as much pain as she was now, and well, shed dish it out if she had to.  
  
"Do you really think Id do that? Do you think Id get you all wound up like that on Monday and then go on to some other girl? Do you think that little of me?" he asked, looking right at her.  
  
"I dont know. Would you?" she said, raising her eyebrows and lookin at him, then looking away.  
  
"If thats what youre crying about, me backing off, then - " Sirius stopped, mid-sentence, mainly due to the fact that Lana had just stood up and slapped him, hard.  
  
She gave a dry, hollow laugh. "Oh, youd love that wouldnt you? Me crying over that.." Lana knew it was unfair to lash out at Sirius, but he was there and she was angry and upset.  
  
"No...No I wouldnt" he said, looking at her in shock, rubbing his cheek.  
  
Lana sat back down. "There are - or were - " she choked, trying not to cry in front of him. "More important people than you."  
  
Sirius stood there, still now knowing what to do, but he felt so bad for her...Not pitying her, but...caring that she was in pain, and because she was in pain...So was he. Lana thrust the crumpled piece of parchment up at him, and he took and sat down.  
  
Then Lana stood up.  
  
"There. There you go. Thats why Im so fucking upset. Thats why Im crying. Because my mother was fucking murdered. Oh, it doesnt say it, but I know she was. She was an Unspeakable. They all die like that. So do Aurors." Lana stood, arms folded, pulling on her jumper, tapping her foot, biting her lip, trying desperately not to cry.  
  
As Sirius read the parchment and listened to Lana talk, he felt his heart breaking for her.  
  
"Dead. Just....dropped dead apparently. APPARENTLY" Lana shouted, then put her shaking hands over her face. "This just tops my fucking week off this does, first we break up, my fault I know, and then Lucius, and then we get - and then were not. And now this...arghhh" Lana clutched at her hair, wanting to pull it out.  
  
Sirius stood up slowly and walked over to her, his eyes glassy, him hurting to see her in so much pain, hating that shes in pain and he cant even begin to help her.  
  
Finally, Lana couldnt hold back the tears any longer and they came cascading down her face and she put her hands over face, ashamed that she was crying in front Sirius. Lana expected him to turn and leave. But he walked over and wrapped his arms around her. Lana was more grateful to him in that moment for doing that than he would ever know. She lay her head on his chest, her hands wiping at her tears as he held her close.  
  
Then she pushed him away and looked at him.  
  
"Why do you even care?" she asked, accusingly, still crying, looking at him.  
  
"Because I love you"  
  
It took a few seconds for both Sirius and Lana to realise what he had said.  
  
"W-what?" she said, stopping crying because of the shock.  
  
"I said...Because...and then I just....stopped talking" he said, wondering why the hell he said that....and he realised in that moment that he did love her.  
  
Lana just stared at him.  
  
"I love you" he repeated, amending what he said he had said....  
  
Lana shook her head in disbelief. "I just....I cant deal with this....I cant deal with any of this"  
  
"Lana, I - "  
  
Lana threw him one last lookof utter disbelief and walked off backwards, still staring at him, and then turning after a few metres and breaking into a run. Lana just couldnt believe anything that happened in the past few hours...Her mum dying, Sirius saying that he loved her...or did he? She couldnt tell. 


	16. Reconciling

(NOTE: SORRY ABOUT THE SHORTNESS OF THE CHAPTERS, BUT IVE BEEN REALLY TIRED THIS WEEKEND, BUT I PROMISE ILL UPDATE THIS CHAPTER MAYBE TOMOROW OR THE DAY AFTER, AND IT WILL BE LONG, COS I WANNA WRAP UP THIS PATICULARE FLASHBACK AND GET BACK TO "real time". *kEeP rEvIwInG pLeAsE* Rvampire - Can I just say that, as you, author of...0 stories, you obviously have no idea how hard it is to write. I have a busy life, and Im sorry, but having a life comes before sitting my a$$ in front of the computer. If you had bothered to read what i wrote above, you would notice that I said wanna wrap up the flashback and get back to Harry. I dont mind constructive criticism, but you were just basing it on the fact that you read fast. Which is not my problem. And again, if you had read above, you would see that I said I would update the chapter soon. Making it longer. So there, Ive had my little rant.)  
  
As Lana ran from Sirius, her heart pounded and more tears fell. She leant against a wall, breathless, and watched as the crowds of students filed past. Her dark brown hair fell in her face and she pushed it back, but it took all her effort. Her head was spinning, everything in front of her didnt seem real, like it was all just a painting, everything was going blurry and moving in slow motion or moving so fast that she couldnt see, it was just a blur of colour and sound....  
  
Sirius stood there for a second, then chased after Lana.  
  
She could barely hear anything, yet everything was so hard she had to fight not to clamp her hands over her ears. Lana felt something on her lips, and wiped at it with the back of her hand, seeing an enourmous amount of blood on the back of it. Lana stared at it, her head spinning, and then it all went black.  
  
Sirius caught up to Lana just as as she fell forwards. He grabbed her as she passed out and put one arm under her knees and the other under her neck and around her as he picked Lana up. He saw the blood coming from her mouth and almost dropped her again. A few people screamed as the blood cascaded over the floor, and Mcgonagall came running out of her classroom. Sirius looked down at the blood on his hand and Mcgonagall conjured a stretcher.  
  
"What happened?" she asked Sirius, as he put her on the stretcher.  
  
"I dont know, she just..." he noticed that he still clutched the piece of parchment in his left arm, the one not blood stained. "Um," he said, and passed it to Mcgonagall as they walked to the Hospital Wing.  
  
Mcgonagall read it as they walked up the stairs, and shook her head, displaying some emotion, and that suprised Sirius. "Poor girl...Unspeakable..." she tutted and opened the door to the Hospital Wing, and Madam Pomfrey came rushing over and fussing over her.  
  
She put Lana on a bed, and Lana opened her eyes and tried to sit up, only to be pushed down again.  
  
"What the - " Lana muttered, looking around, squinting slightly. Madam Pomfrey shoved some pills into Lanas mouth and made her swallow them.  
  
"What happened?" She said sharply, looking at Sirius.  
  
"I dont know, she just - "  
  
"Collapsed." Pomfrey finished the sentence for him.  
  
"Yeah..." he looked at Lana, worried.  
  
Lana looked at him, with a hollow look in her eyes, on the verge of tears again. Madam Pomfrey grabbed something and started cleaning up Lanas blood stained face. Lana winced as she saw Sirius hand. Madam Pomfrey threw Sirius a cloth and he began cleaning himself up.  
  
"Will she have to stay here all night?" Mcgonagall asked.  
  
"Oh no, of course not, she just fainted, thats all. But I would advise and early night and taking it easy tomorow."  
  
"I have Quidditch practice tomorow" Lana said  
  
"Not now you dont, Lana." Pomfrey told her.  
  
"But - "  
  
"But nothing." Pomfrey cut her off.  
  
"Can I go now?" Lana asked, and stood up.  
  
"Yes. But go to bed right away."  
  
"You dont have to do detention tonight Lana, I think you need time alone right now." Mcgonagall said, and Lana saw that she was holding the letter from the Ministry.  
  
"I dont want to. I did something wrong, I should be punished."  
  
"You can do it soon, Lana, you havent gotten away with it."  
  
Sirius stood in the corner, watching Lana. He realised how much he loved her in that moment, when he blurted it out, and then when she collapsed on him -  
  
"Sirius, take Lana up to the Common Room." Mcgonagall instructed him.  
  
"I can go myself" Lana protested  
  
"I think it would be better if you had someone with you, Lana"  
  
Lana looked at Sirius, not sure what she felt...When she looked at him she just wanted to kiss him, wanted his strong arms to hold her...But then...then what? She didnt know.  
  
Lana stood up off the bed and walked over to Sirius.  
  
"Dont forget your detention, Sirius, my office at 5." Mcgonagall swept out of the hospital wing.  
  
Pomfrey shoved a few more pills in Lanas hand as her and Sirius walked from the Hospital Wing.  
  
"Are you okay?" Sirius asked Lana, looking at her, concerned.  
  
"Im fine"  
  
"You dont look it."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"I didnt mean it - "  
  
"I know you didnt mean it like that. But Im fine." Lana said, not sounding it.  
  
They turned right and began walking up the stairs to Gryffindor tower.  
  
Lana pushed her hair from her face.  
  
"Thanks"  
  
Sirius looked at her. "For what?"  
  
"For catching me...." Lana looked at him. "Not letting me fall - "  
  
"No problem" Sirius replied, smiling at her a little.  
  
They go to the portrait and said the password, "oblivion" and walked through to find it almost empty. A few people were in there, but most people were in the Great Hall, eating. Lana stood there, arms wrapped around herself, and looked up at Sirius.  
  
"I meant it Lana. When I said I love you. I do." Sirius looked down at her and moved a step towards her. She stepped back.  
  
"I know you did. And I meant it when I said I couldnt deal with this right now. Im sorry."  
  
"Its not great timing, I know that Lana, but just - give me something. Tell me - maybe."  
  
"I have feelings for you, I do Sirius, its just - Im not sure what they are. Or how to deal with them. I just, Im so - with my mother, and then you - " Lana put her hands over face and then moved them away. "Im confused. I need time."  
  
Sirius didnt know what to do or say. He felt like - he didnt know what he felt like. Just that he loved Lana, and wanted to help her through whatever she is going through.  
  
"I better go. Detention." Sirius said, barely audible. Lana looked at him, and felt torn in two. She reached forward and kissed him lightly on the cheek.  
  
"We'll talk later...." Lana said, and walked over to the girls staircase.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ======LATER THAT NIGHT===== ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana sat in her dorm, on the window ledge. At the side of her she had a big box of Honeydukes fudge. She was staring up at the sky, thinking about Sirius and her mother. Lana had decided that she would try and seperate the feelings of grief, loss and anger from the ones she was feeling for Sirius, so that she could try and figure it out. Of course, she already knew that she loved him, but she wouldnt admit it to herself. She forced all thoughts of her mother from her mind.  
  
Sirius walked across the common room, looked at his watch and saw that it was almost midnight. He wondered if Lana was still awake. He looked around the common room and saw that she wasnt in there, and he knew that he couldnt get into the girls dorm. He walked up the stairs to his dorm, and saw that, to his suprise, James, Peter, Remus were asleep. He took off his clothes and, just in his boxers, got onto his bed and pulled the curtains around him. Sirius lay back, looking at the ceiling.  
  
"Fuck" came a voice. A girls voice. Followed by a bang. Sirius propped himself up on his arms, as Lana pulled back the curtains of his bed. She stood there, wearing white hotpants and a light pink, tight t-shirt. Her long dark hair hung loose, and Lana looked at Sirius, then climbed onto the bed and closed the curtains. Lana crawled over to Sirius, and sat on him, straddling him, and kisses him passionately. He wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her back for a few seconds, before pushing her away gently.  
  
"What are you doing?" he asked her.  
  
"What do you think?" Lana said, leaned forward to kiss him again. But Sirius stopped her.  
  
"No." he said, although he couldnt deny that he was extremely turned on by her walking in here and just..diving on him.  
  
"Why not?" she asked, looking confused and hurt.  
  
As Sirius looked at her, into her eyes, he knew that he wanted to, but "Not like this." he said.  
  
"Like what?" she asked, sitting up, half her weight on him, but supported by her heels.  
  
"Like this. Youre hurting, upset and in pain. It would be taking advantage."  
  
Lana stared at him, amazed. "Its not." and leaned forward to kiss him again. This time, Sirius grabbed her arms and gently pushed her off of him, so that she was lying down against the bed and he was over her, looking down at her.  
  
"Yes it would. And you know it would. And youd hate me and yourself in the morning."  
  
Lanas eyes teared up and as they fell, Sirius wiped it from her.  
  
"See?" he said gently, brushing her hair away from her face. "Youre grieving, and it would be wrong - "  
  
Lana put a finger over Sirius lips. "I have somethings I need to say."  
  
Sirius propped himself up over her, and looked at her.  
  
"Firstly...I dont wanna talk about my mother." Lana choked on her words as she said them. "I just...I wanna talk about me. You. And us. I want there to be an us."  
  
Lana managed a small smile, before her eyes teared up again.  
  
"Im so sorry" she whispered.  
  
"What for?" Sirius asked, looking at her and wiping her tears.  
  
"You didnt even do anything wrong. I flipped, and for no good reason...Ive regretted it. I thought Id blown it with you...And then on Monday, when you backed away....I knew that I had. Until earlier, when - " Lana could barely speak, her tears flowing.  
  
"Its okay..."  
  
"Can you forgive me?" Lana asked, and Sirius kissed her softly on the lips. Lana thought she would explode, feeling the tingle all the way through her body. As he pulled away, he stayed about an inch from Lanas face.  
  
"Of course..."  
  
"I love you Sirius." Lana whispered, and he smiled and kissed her again. She ran her hands through his hair.  
  
Sirius felt happier that he had in a long time. He looked at her.  
  
"Lana...Im always going to be here for you. No matter what. I want to help you through whatever your going through right now, with losing your mother. Nothings going to stop me from loving you, or from being here for you. Not even my own death will stop me. Of all the girls Ive been with, Ive only ever cared about one. And thats you." Sirius stopped. shocked that he had said such a thing...But meaning every word of it.  
  
Lana started sobbing. "I just feel so alone....My mums dead....I dont even know hwo my dad is...I have no family...."  
  
Sirius took her in his arms, and Lana sobbed as he held her, he kissed her forehead gently.  
  
Thank God that you were by my side..  
  
On a night....  
  
On a night...  
  
Daytime I'm fine  
  
Everything is back normal  
  
Last night I thought that I would die  
  
I had nightmares, I was so scared  
  
Thank god that you were by my side  
  
To hold me when I cried  
  
I wanna be strong  
  
But I dont' wanna be alone tonight  
  
I wanna believe that I can save the world  
  
And make it right  
  
But I believe that you've got a hero's face  
  
Right here in your arms is safest place  
  
The safest place  
  
It feels so real  
  
You showed I could trust you  
  
With emotions I had locked away  
  
It was your touch, your words  
  
They hear deepest part of me  
  
That only you can see  
  
I wanna be strong  
  
But I don't wanna be alone tonight  
  
I wanna believe that I can save the world  
  
And make it right  
  
But I believe that you've got a hero's face  
  
Right here in your arms is safest place  
  
As long as I'm with you  
  
As long as I can feel you  
  
That's all I need to keep me going  
  
On and on and on and on....  
  
I wanna believe that I can save the world  
  
And make it right  
  
But I believe that you've got a hero's face  
  
Right here in your arms is safest place  
  
Right here in your arms is safest place....  
  
The safest place...  
  
The safest place...  
  
Leann Rimes - The Safest Place  
  
(NOTE : Had her album on, LOVE this song, figured it would be perfect) 


	17. Revelations

(NOTE: again, apologies for the lateness and shortness. But ive been having loads of ideas for future chapters, and ive been scribbling them all down and neglected to do this...I will update the chapter, tomorow, and maybe add ch18 after that....and dont forget to review....*kiss kiss*)  
  
The next morning, after Lana had finished her diary...she had written so much about Sirius in those first 5 weeks, and about her mother, and her thoughts and perceptions about things, that she had filled her diary (which was really just a nice notebook) quickly.  
  
Lana quickly dressed in white adidas trousers and a white sports belly top, wanting to conjure a punch bag after breakfast and kick the hell out of it. She walked in and Ron goggled at what Lana was wearing, although it was just sporty stuff. Mrs.Weasley slammed down a plate of bacon in front of Rons blushing face as he caught his mothers glare.  
  
"How are you dear?" Mrs Weasley asked Lana, not looking at her, as she flicked her wand and bread piled itself up on the table.  
  
"Im....okay I guess." Lana said, with a small smile, standing up and bending over the table to get some of the bread. Fred and George walked into the kitchen from the side door and stopped dead. Fred pointed at Ron, then to Lana, and pulled a face that indicataed "woo....whos this?!?". Fred made a rude motion behind Lana, and stopped when George grabbed him because Mrs Weasley was about to turn around. Lana straightened up and almost tripped over Fred because he was that close. Fred grabbed her on the waist.  
  
"Careful there little lady, you could hurt yourself!" Fred said, grinning at her.  
  
Lana furrowed her brow and shoved Freds hands off her waist. "Um, sure.....Hey.."  
  
George came around the corner and grinned broadly at Lana and winked.  
  
Lana looked from one to the other and blinked. "Am I stoned?" she asked, looking at Ron.  
  
Ron frowned, not knowing what 'stoned' meant.  
  
Lana rolled her eyes. "Never mind..." she looked from Fred to George and said "Hey. Im Lana..."  
  
"Fred"  
  
"George"  
  
They said simultaneously and then sat down opposite Lana and Ron. Lana shoved some bacon on her bread and went outside to eat, feeling the warm early morning June sun on her bare stomach.  
  
She walked into a far corner of the Weasleys garden, and conjured a punchbag. She pulled the white elastic band from around her wrist and bent over, scraping her hair back into a high ponytail. Lana flipped back up, pulled some material from her pocket and tied it around her knuckles. She took a deep breath and began pummeling the bag...  
  
*********************************************************  
  
At around 10 that morning, when Lana had been on the garden with the punchbag for around an hour, Mad-Eye and Tonks came walking up the garden. Lana made the punchbag disappear and walked over, recongising Mad Eye from years before, when he was in the Order.  
  
Mad Eyes magical eye swung to the back of his head as Lana walked behind them, Tonks already in the house. Through this eye, Lana looked like someone who was wearing an invisibility cloak, kind of transparent, shimmery. Lana caught up to him.  
  
"Mad-Eye?" she asked, looking up at him.  
  
"Yes" he said gruffly, wondering why she looked like that, when he knew she didnt have an invisibility cloak because he could see her with his normal eye.  
  
"You look good...." she said, meaning it. He hadnt changed much, to say he had spent a year shoved in a casket.  
  
Mad Eye just looked at her and pushed the door open, walking inside.  
  
Mrs Weasley was ushering Fred and George away from the door as Mad Eye and Lana walked in. Tonks' hair was blue and purple, and spiky. She gestured towards the door at the 18 year old. Lana raises an eyebrow.  
  
"Who is this, and why is her hair that colour?" Lana asked, pointing at Tonks and looking at Mrs Weasley.  
  
"This is Tonks." Molly said, looking worriedly at the sweaty and red Lana, who wiped at her forehead.  
  
"I think you should go out there with the rest of them" Tonks said, pointing from Lana to the door.  
  
"And why would I do that?" Lana asked.  
  
"Because youre not part of the Order." Tonks said simply.  
  
Lana laughed. "Really?"  
  
Tonks looked at Mad Eye.  
  
Mad Eye and Mrs Weasley looked at Lana, who was looking straight at Tonks.  
  
"And I wouldnt exactly call news about Harry top secret, members-only news, would you, Mad Eye?" Lana asked innocently.  
  
Tonks frowned deeply at Lana. "I never mentioned Harry."  
  
Lana frowned too. "You sure?" Tonks nodded. "Oh well....anyway...what about my godson?" she asked.  
  
Tonks looked shocked and Mrs Weasley tutted loudly.  
  
"Im Lana..Im a lot older than I look Tonks"  
  
Tonks shut the door slowly, not taking her eyes from Lana.  
  
"Mad eye - " Tonks began, but then knew better than to question people who were in the first Order.  
  
Lana grabbed a towel from her bag and wiped her face, which had sweat and tears on it, and began wiping at the rest of her body as Tonks explained that Harry had saw her.  
  
"Well hes not stupid Tonks, hes bound to see you..." Lana said, and then fell quiet.  
  
"Harry was sat on that park, and I was in the guise of a child, I sneezed, and, well, I went back to how I usually am. Harry looked up and - " Tonks began explaining.  
  
"If I wanted your life story I would have asked." Lana said sharply. "Just get to the point - what does Harry want?"  
  
"Lana! Dont be so rude!" Mrs Weasley said, thinking 'just like Sirius...rush rush rush'  
  
"Im sorry...No wait, I dont take that back. Harrys my main priority, now that Sirius isnt here to look after him, and - " Lana stopped, Mrs Weasley had made a noise with her throat.  
  
"Youre not going to tell him that youre his Godmother are you? Which is something I didnt even know." Molly pointed out.  
  
"Molly, I thought you would have been able to figure that out for yourself" Moody said gruffly.  
  
Mrs Weasley looked highly affronted, but fell quiet as Tonks said in a quiet voice  
  
"He wants to know where his parents are buried. And he wants to go back to Sirius' house."  
  
Lana dropped the towel and Mrs Weasley gasped.  
  
"He actually said that?" Lana asked, looking at Tonks.  
  
"Exactly that"  
  
"Well...." Lana said, picking up her towel and leaning against the wall.  
  
Moody spoke up. "What do you want to do?" His magical eye was still on Lana, and followed her movements as she leaned off the wall and paced the room. He didnt say much; he was trying to figure out Lana. She had never looked like this to his magical eye before. True, he had always thought there was something different about her, but still...  
  
Lana shook her head, thinking.  
  
Mrs Weasley looked worried. "Oh the poor dear...Harry cant know. He musnt know. Its too terrible."  
  
Tonks looked from Moody to Lana, trying to figure something out, and coming up blank.  
  
"Hes too delicate, yada yada yada" Lana said sarcastically.  
  
"Hes not you, Lana, he cant cope with something like this." Mrs Weasley said.  
  
Lana snorted. "Hes almost 16, Mrs Weasley, and do you think I was old enough to handle what I saw?" she asked, her temper rising.  
  
Mrs Weasley frowned. "What do you mean?" she asked, confused.  
  
Lana looked from Molly to Moody, who shook his head slightly at Lana.  
  
Lana cleared her throat. "Never mind...you dont need to know. But..." she stopped, thinking, chewing her bottom lip. In her mind, she was having the typical 18 year old reaction, yet at the same time, she wasnt 18, not even when she WAS 18, she was always more mature... and after she had learned what had happened in the past 15 years, Lana had grown up even more. Yet sometimes she still had the odd teenage reaction.  
  
"I want you to go back to Privet Drive" Moody said, and Lana could tell this was an order, not a suggestion.  
  
"Yeah...I was thinking of that. Harry will be much safer with me around." Lana agreed.  
  
"No, I didnt mean that" Moody continued. "I know that Dumbledore said youre not to talk to Harry, but in my opinion," Moody fixed his eyes on Lana, getting something across "I think you should talk to him."  
  
"I dont think thats a good idea Moody, if Dumbledore has said not to." Molly said.  
  
"Well I didnt ask for your approval Mrs Weasley." Lana said icily, still looking at Moody, getting it across that she was planning on it anyway.  
  
Moody muttered something and Lanas things packed into her black bag. 


	18. Meetings

(NOTE: i apologise for the lateness. please keep reading! this chapter is not quite finished. but i wanted to post it anyway so you fabulous people can read it and review it. it will be completed and updated ASAP....ive also had trouble uploading documents)  
  
Lana sat on the front garden of the house that she was renting for the summer on Privet Drive. It was unusally hot, and Lana hated this kind of hot, sticky weather. She was wearing a red short-ish skirt with a white vest top. Her long dark hair was tied back in a loose bun, high enough so that it would not fall down and irritate her neck. Lana pushed her rose- tinted sunglasses over her eyes and pulled on her half-cap. One of the things with the peak and the strap that goes around your head....Lana put her lemon flavoured ice pop in her mouth as she locked the door, both in the muggle way and the magical way. She hooked the key onto the belt hook on her skirt, and they jangled as she walked down the front garden. She sighed and looked around, thinking that Sirius would have loved the sun...although Dumbledore would probably still have him cooped up in the house...or maybe not, now that the Ministry knows that Voldemort is back...  
  
Lana had decided for herself that she was going to do what she had done when her mother died - push it all way and have a fun day with Sirius...She had felt so alone when her mother died, so alone..But Sirius had been there for her, heping her through, he told her that he would never leave her, ever..Yet Lana knew somehow that they would be parted for many years, but it would not be his fault, although he would blame himself for it. And now it was Sirius that was dead. Lana was truly alone.  
  
Harry had decided he was sick of wearing Dudleys cast-offs, and after the warning that Moody etc gave the Dursleys, they had gone out, with much moaning from Dudley (who they ended up buying a Playstation 2....and 4 games...) and brought Harry a few outfits that actually fitted him. Today, Harry was dressed in a pair of cream nike jogging bottoms, and a white basketball top. He had recently taken up ruffling his hair up, like his father, James Potter, had once done. This had annoyed Petunia even more, and Harry was glad of it. He was walking down the street and passed Lanas house just as she came out of it.  
  
Lana walked over to him and fell in step as she said "Harry Potter."  
  
Harry stopped, turned to her, expecting her eyes to flick up to his scar, but they remained locked on his eyes. Because of this, Harry asked "How do you know my name?"  
  
"Youre the only thing people around here gossip about....So this is what the only boy I know of that goes to St Bruts school for the criminally Insane looks like." Lana raised an eyebrow "But you dont look insane to me.."  
  
"I do NOT go there, and I am NOT - " Harry stopped as he saw that Lana was smirking and had started walking idly in front of him. "WHATS SO FUNNY?"  
  
"No wonder the ignorant morons around here believe it when you go off like that, Harry."  
  
Harry made a motion to take out his wand and followed Lana.  
  
"But I.....I know better, Harry." she stopped and turned to look at him, smiling more. "Now now Harry....we both know that you cant use underage magic"  
  
He gawped, almost dropped his wand, which he had just pulled out.  
  
Lana stuck out her right hand. "Im Lana. Lana Madison" she said, and looked at Harry as he didnt take her hand.  
  
"Did Voldemort send you?" Harry said, gripping his wand tightly in his right hand. This got a hollow laugh from Lana.  
  
"Voldemort? Do I look like a lackey? Stupid? A sheep? A total fucking wanker?" Lana asked. "And besides...If I wanted to kill you, I could have done it by now..." she said with a grin.  
  
This reaction from Lana confirmed for Harry that Lana was not from Voldemort, and besides, people from Order are guarding him day and night, and they would have spotted her before this and killed her.  
  
"So are you some kind of spy from the Order then?" Harry asked.  
  
Lana smiled. "Do I look old enough to be in the Order?" knowing how ironic this was, because although she looked a few years above Harry, she was really two years younger than Sirius had been when he had died. "Im 18, Harry. They tell me some stuff....Its a need-to-know basis....But I think everyone needs to know everything...but then what do they care what I think?" she said, and shrugged.  
  
"What do you know?" he asked.  
  
"I know that Voldemort is back. I knew he would come back...Just a matter of time. I know that people have died or been injured since he got back. Cedric Diggory being one of them...Sirius...Sirius being the other..." Lana broke off, her eyes tearing, and she blinked them away.  
  
Harry was angry that Lana had mentioned Sirius. And also hurt that she had reminded him of Sirius. "What would you know? You didnt know Cedric, and you didnt know Sirius."  
  
Lana looked up sharply, looking and feeling extremely hurt that Sirius had never mentioned her to his own Godson. "I know more than you think Harry" she whispered, shutting her eyes for a few seconds to regain her composure. She knew that she had told Harry too much already, but really felt that she needed to tell him most of the things...Other things, Lana was just not ready to share with anyone. She stood and looked Harry in the eye.  
  
"Im not gonna stand and goggle and gawp and point at your scar, or giggle at you like some besotted school girl who has read about you in books. I know it pisses you off, and frankly, I dont see what the big deal is. No offence. I wont lie to you Harry, anything that you ask me I will answer. In fact, I think the more you know right now, the better. People have died becuase of secrets, and - " Lana suddenly looked as if she had a head cold. "And I want to make sure that it never happens again."  
  
As Lana looked at Harry, she noticed, as most people do, that Harry was extremely like James. Lana frowned slightly. They said that Harry was most likely to look scruffy, and that would make him look...well, not as good looking as he is. Lana thought he was extremely good looking, like his father, James, and Lanas heart ached more, if possible, as she thought of the night when - But no...Dont think of that....ever. As Lana spoke to Harry, she knew that he got his Fathers temper, caution...and his mothers heart. Harry was not as arrogant as James...however...times were different then. There wasnt the constant threat of Voldemort hanging over James' head...  
  
"Listen, Harry...Im living in the Muggle world because right now, I wanna escape the Wizard world....So can we maybe talk about something else?" Lana asked, picking up the pace.  
  
////////////////////SOME PLACE NOT SO NICE\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  
  
Voldemort sat in a broad chair, made out of solid gold, high backed, highly decorated with images of people being tortured engraved and carved into the gold. It was tall, the back of it going way above Voldemorts head. His long thin fingers on his left hand were curling around the arm of it, his wand held quite lazily in his right hand. Across the vast hall, a Death Eater named Bellatrix Lestrange screamed in pain.  
  
Voldemort let his wand down and Lestrange fell 10 foot from the wall he had pinned her to when he aimed Crucio at her. He let out a little laugh.  
  
"Have you learned your lesson yet?" he hissed.  
  
Lestrange gasped. "No my Lord, never, I should be punished for all eternity for failing you...." she looked at him, started to crawl over to him.  
  
Voldemort considered this for a moment, raised his wand again and Lestrange cringed.  
  
"Although..." he said, thinking, "You did kill Sirius Black....so...Thats a bonus."  
  
"2 down, 1 to go.." Lestrange said, with a wicked grin, and then a crazed laugh. "ickle potty baby was so upsety..."  
  
The doors to the vast hall opened and Lucius Malfoy swept in, sleek blonde hair blowing back.  
  
"My Lord.." Lucius cast a glance at Lestrange and walked directly to the bottom of the steps leading up to Voldemorts chair, and bent down.  
  
"What is it Lucius? Im quite busy." he indicated Lestrange, and muttered "crucio" and she screamed again, and he let her down.  
  
"What Lestrange just said...is only partly true." Lucius said, standing up and looking at Voldemort.  
  
"Continue..." he instructed Lucius.  
  
"Pretty little thing," Lucius continued, with a glint in his eye, "We all thought she was dead...Goes by the name of Lana Madison."  
  
Voldemorts eyes narrowed. "Lana Madison?" he asked, mulling the name over...Thinking that he should know the name.  
  
"Yes my Lord, Lana Madison. Pretty little thing. Had a thing for her myself at school." Lucius cleared his throat. "Funny thing tho. She hasnt aged a day. Not since the night when..."  
  
Voldemort had a small smile on his face. "Oh yes..I remember Lana." He looked at Lestrange. "I believe you killed her sweetheart a few weeks ago."  
  
Lucius felt himself going a little red. He hated that Lana had picked Sirius over him, and he wanted revenge. As much as he loved his wife....He could never stop thinking of Lana. Damn that girl. She had played him, and now...She still looked as beautiful as she ever did.  
  
"You say she hasnt aged a day?" Voldemort asked.  
  
"Yes my Lord. She hasnt aged at all. And from what I can gather, its a bit of a shock to everyone around her that she has...woken up."  
  
"From what you can gather?" Voldemort said, nostrils flaring. "You better be sure of your information, Lucius."  
  
"Oh Im sure my Lord. And I must say, shes recovered pretty well from what you put her through." Lucius said, an amused grin appearing on his face.  
  
Voldemort chuckled. "Hasnt aged a day...Nobody has heard a whisper of her since that night....then BAM....here she is..." He moved his left hand to his chin. "This is going to take some work..."  
  
"Whatever I can do, my Lord, to make up for failing you, anything at all, I will lay down my life" came Lestranges voice.  
  
"Yes, I think you should" Voldemort said. He turned back to Lucius. "Lana was powerful then...And as we dont truly know where she has been for the past 15 years, or what she has been doing, or why she has never aged...We should step carefully. She killed 7 Death Eaters last time...4 of them were powerful men, strong men, and intelligent. And she was just 18 when she did all of that."  
  
Voldemort stood up and walked slowly down the steps. Lucius bowed as Voldemort got closer.  
  
"I think someone should go and...talk to her." Voldemort suggested, looking between Lestrange and Lucius. "You both seem to have a personal intrest in this..." He looked at Lestrange "You just because you are vicious...You killed her mother all those years ago...You were by my side when you killed two of her best friends....You killed her lover..." he looked at Lucius "And you..." Voldemort chuckled. "Petty revenge for something that she did...and something that she didnt do."  
  
Lestrange had now crawled over to Voldemort and was kissing the bottom of his robes. "Anything you want Master, anything you tell us, anything at all...My Lord.."  
  
"I should such high hopes for Lana...she was truly brilliant..." Voldemort muttered, half in thought. Then he stopped.  
  
Voldemort looked at Lestrange.  
  
"Not you. Stay away from Lana." he turned to Lucius. "You. Go talk to her. Just...talk."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~BACK IN LONDON~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana and Harry sat out in the sun outside a well known coffee chain called Starbucks.  
  
Lana sipped at her caramel macchiata, and Harry just had a plain coffee.  
  
"So whats it like living with Muggles?" Lana asked Harry. "Id except its really strange"  
  
"I hate it. I hate the Dursleys. For years they tried to tell me that my scar was a result of the car crash that killed my parents," he explained, while Lana laughed.  
  
"Like a car crash could kill Lil and James" Lana said, rolling her eyes.  
  
"Thats what everybody says...Everybody that knew them..Did you know them Lana?" Harry asked, noting the casual way she said "Lil".  
  
Lana squinted in the sunlight and looked at Harry. "My parents knew your parents, Harry." Lana said, lying her ass off.  
  
"Oh...." he said. "That was a stupid question anyway, youre only 18, how could you know them?...." Harry trailed off.  
  
Lana took a long drink of her coffee and avoided looking at Harry. She wanted to tell him everything he wanted to know about his parents, but knew she couldnt.  
  
Something suddenly occured to Harry. "If youre just three years older than me, why did I never see you at Hogwarts?" he asked.  
  
Lana shifted uncomfortably in her seat, thinking of a comeback. "Harry....I did tell you that I didnt want to talk or even think about the wizarding world today..."  
  
"Oh...sorry" he muttered, finishing his coffee. Looking up, he spotted Dudley and Polkiss coming towards him, "Oh bloody hell" he said, standing up.  
  
"What?" Lana said, standing up with Harry.  
  
"Thats my cousin...Dudley..the big blonde one...and the ratty faced one, thats Polkiss..." Harry said, pointing at them.  
  
Lana looked at the slight bruise on Polkiss jaw. "Nice shiner...." Lana said admiringly, remembering the time in Hogwarts when she smacked Lucius...but better to not think of Lucius...probably out there torturing someone right now...  
  
"Ooooooo look" came Dudleys voice as he sauntered over. "Potters got himself a girlfriend"  
  
Lana smirked at Harry, who didnt look so happy. "Hey Dudley" she said, walking over to meet him. "Or is it....ickly diddykins as I heard your mum call you the other day?"  
  
Dudley went bright red and Harry roared with laughter. "You wanna tell your girlfriend to shut up Harry, I dont care if she is a girl, I'll hit her anyway"  
  
"Whats a good looking girl like you doing with Harry anyway?" Polkiss asked, stepping forward. "You want a boyfriend....Im available" he grinned, and Lana frowned.  
  
"Thanks....I think..." Lana said, and dropped some money on the floor on purpose. "Oops" she said, bending down to pick it up, giving Polkiss and Dudley an eyeful down her top. She smiled as she straightned herself up. "Well...see you later" and she walked over to Harry, took his arm and pulled him, with some force, down the street.  
  
Harry was ranting to Lana about Dudley and Polkiss and shrugged her hand off his arm as they turned the corner and started walking back towards Privet Drive.  
  
"I cant believe Dudley threatened to hit a girl, hes a bloody boxing champion, you cant go around hitting girls anyway, hes such an asshole."  
  
Lana stopped at the corner of Privet Drive, and studied Harry. "You know what your problem is Harry?"  
  
"Um, let me think, Voldemort, Dudley, - " but Lana interrupted him.  
  
"No no, I meant that you dont know how to - chill the fuck out." Lana said, grinning at him. "Listen...Do you think you could manage to sneak out of the house tonight?"  
  
"Why? I dont think I should be anyway." Harry said  
  
"Whats the matter? You scared of getting caught?" she asked, teasing him.  
  
"By the Dursleys? No. They dont even notice me when Im the room anyway. By Voldemort? Yeah...kind of"  
  
"Youre scared of Voldemort...thats smart. But dont worry about him...I dont think he'll send anyone where Im gonna take you."  
  
"I dont have any Muggle money, Lana"  
  
"So? I have plenty..." Lana smirked. "Meet me outside your house at..half 9. Oh, and, if you can...wear jeans. Something...decent-ish..." and with that, Lana walked up the front garden, deaf to Harrys shouts.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~LATER THAT NIGHT~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Harry was in his bedroom, looking in the mirror at his oversize, baggy jeans. At least the basketball top he was wearing wasnt too bad...Harry went to flatten his hair, then ruffled it instead. Harry figured if he couldnt flatten it, which he couldnt, he should just do what his dad used to do - make it even messier so its looks better. The Dursleys never came into Harrys room, so he wasnt bothered about them coming in and seeing that he wasnt there, but he shoved a pillow and messed up his covers a little. As for if the Order was still watching, which he knew they were, as he had saw Tonks in the park the other day. Harry was extremely annoyed, if they were gonna spy on him, they should at least do it to his face and not try and hide from him. Besides, Harry liked company from the Wizarding World. It had shocked him when he realised that hed never asked where his parents were buried before, seeing as Harry knew that Avada Kedavra didnt blow them to smithereens.  
  
If they saw him with Lana today, which they probably had, they would know that Lana and him were gonna go out somewhere that night. Should he trust Lana? He didnt know, but again, someone from the Order was here constantly, and they would have intercepted. And besides....she was pretty cool. Although she didnt like talking about the Wizarding World much, Harry had to admit it...Lana was right. Sometimes it is good to just take a day off and not think about it. Harry didnt think Sirius would want him to be all moping around...But Harry would never know the answer to that. Harry looked at the clock and saw that it was half 8...He thought he should take his clothes off and just put pyjamas on till about quater past nine.  
  
****LANAS PLACE****  
  
Lana was in the shower as Harry changed into his pyjamas. She finished washing the conditioner out of her hair. "Muggle world has a lot of sucky things....Power showers...not one of em" she said to herself. She looked up and put her face under the downpour, wincing at the hotness and with the heavyness as it beat down on her. Tears threatend, but she wouldnt let them come. Tonights about bonding with my Godson...although he doesnt know it, and I am more like a friend...Oh well. Thats what Im here for ...Tonights for not looking at the bigger picture, not looking for repercussions of her actions.  
  
Lana let the last of the bubbles fall from her hair and body, then turned the shower off. Stepping out onto the bath mat, she grabbed a white towel and tied it around her, not happy that you could almost see her ass in it, but figured well theres no-one else here but me. Lana twisted her hair, squeezing excess water from it and left it. Not supposed to brush it when its wet. Lana sighed as it fell forward into her eyes as she brushed her teeth. Lana spat the water and toothpaste into the sink, washed it down. She grinned a toothy grin into the mirror, then, tightening the towel, she walked out of the bathroom and down the hall.  
  
Before she even got halfway to her room, she knew there was someone there. She hadnt bothered to put any spells on the house, and had told the Order not to bother, in case they ever needed to apparate or anything. Lana, thinking it was Lupin or maybe even Harry, picked up the pace slightly, and as she got closer, she got a bigger sense of foreboding. She walked into her bedroom, dressed in a black robe, stood Lucius Malfoy.  
  
He couldnt help but stare at Lana. Her beautiful legs, glistening with water, her long dark hair wet and hanging in her face....She was hot. The look on her face couldnt have contrasted more. Hate, anger, tinged with an extreme sadness and a slight glint in her eyes that he couldnt tell if it was lustful or psychotic. He guessed the latter, seeing as it was a good 15 years since theyd fucked, and hed gotten older, was 36 now.  
  
"Still as beautiful as ever, arent we Lana?" he said, taking a step towards her.  
  
Lana took one back. "Still as Death Eater-y as ever arent we Lucius?" Lana said, admiring the way that Lucius had kept himself looking young...still, he hadnt been in Azkaban.  
  
Her heart was pounding....This situation was the worst she could possible be in. She was butt naked, save a little bit of towel, she was in her bedroom, facing a Death Eater, one that she had screwed a few times and played with to get information about Voldemort, with no wand, nothing to speak of to defend herself with....but the worst thing was that they were on Harrys street. He lived a few doors down....what if Lucius is just a decoy and Voldemorts there now, murdering Harry?!!? She promised Sirius...  
  
Lucius bit his lip and looked at Lana, admiring her every curve.  
  
"Listen, if were gonna fight, can we get right to it, cos you caught me at kind of a bad time..you know, with the towel and everything" Lana demanded, her left hand on her hip.  
  
Lucius let out a low laugh that sent shivers down Lanas back. He stepped closer to Lana and she found herself backed into a wall.  
  
"Look at you...all growed up..." Lana said, "And still cant get over me, can you Lucius? Not like you ever really had me anyway, is it?" she asked, looking up at him as he backed her into a wall, leaning close to her.  
  
"Oh...I had you Lana" Lucius whispered...with emphasis on "had".  
  
"Dont fool yourself, Lucius" Lana said quietly, her voice shaking. "I used you...played you..." she laughed slightly, reaching up to Lucius, grabbing his cheeks in her right hand and tip-toing slightly..."And you fell for it, Lucius..every word, every movement..all fake. All a game...." she leaned closer, almost kissing him, whispered in his ear. "Oh Lucius...always your biggest weakness...". Then Lana ran her hand down his chest, and shoved him backwards.  
  
"Fucking tease" Lucius said. "For all your games....It still didnt save Lily and James did it?" he smirked at her.  
  
Lana shook with anger. "No it didnt....But it saved Harry. And thats good enough for me."  
  
"Didnt save Sirius tho did it? He got thrown in Azkaban..." Lucius had finally gone too far. Lana walked over and slapped him around the face, hard, leaving a hand print across his face.  
  
"Dont you ever mention his name to me again, Lucius" Lana said, her voice shaking with anger, and she had no idea how she kept it steady. "Sirius went to Azkaban for something he didnt do....and you stayed out, for all the terrible things you did do."  
  
Lucius put a hand to his face and stared at her. He laughed again.  
  
"Youll pay for your crimes one day Lucius..."  
  
"My crimes?" he asked, mocking her. "You might call them crimes, Lana...but I call them victories."  
  
"Victories..thats intresting. Then if you are so proud...why didnt you admit to them like that fucking insane bitch Lestrange?" Lana asked, now not scared, just angry, and hurt, and disgusted that she had ever slept with Lucius. She walked around the other side of the room and opened her wardrobe.  
  
"Oh yes, Lestrange is insane...But you know Im not, Lana...Speaking of Lestrange...I believe I have her to congratulate for killing Sirius."  
  
Lana was shaking terribly now with anger as she slammed the wardrobe doors shut. Lana turned and looked at Lucius, who was standing right opposite her, about 7 feet away. She made to go towards him, and he whipped out is wand.  
  
"Now now Lana...that slap...was the first and last time youll get away with anything like that" he said, pointing his wand straight at her.  
  
Lana spread her arms wide open and said "Take your best shot." knowing full well that he could kill her in an instant...but she didnt care..she wanted to be with Sirius.  
  
"Besides" Lucius said, putting his wand away. "I dont want to fight. I came here to talk."  
  
Lana was visibly shocked. "Talk?"  
  
"Yes. The Lord says - "  
  
Lana laughed. "The Lord? I wouldnt exactly call Voldemort a Lord."  
  
"Hm, I guess its a good job He did send me...Lestrange wouldnt have liked that you dared say his name out loud like that, and with such disrespect." Lucius tutted, shaking a finger at her.  
  
Lana smirked and opened the door to her wardrobe again. "Are you threatening me, Lucius?" she asked, amused.  
  
"No, Lana...just warning you that you might not as lucky as for Him to send me next time."  
  
"Yeah, he'll probably send Snape..." Lana said, flicking through her wardrobe. "Or maybe Pettigrew...." she laughed.  
  
Lucius face clouded over. "You think you could defeat them?"  
  
"Snape doesnt scare me. James and Sirius used to bully him at school...And as for Pettigrew..." Lanas voice was filled with venom. "Id kill him before he had the chance to speak.." Lana stepped behind the doors, out of Lucius' sight, and dropped her towel.  
  
Lucius saw the towel drop and his eyes wandered, and he shifted on his feet, trying to see, when the wardrobe door slammed shut, and Lana stood there, in a black bra and thong.  
  
"Or maybe...Voldemort could send...Chatsworth....or Clumber...or McKinney....or Welbeck....or King...or Winters....or Malfoy..you know, youre brother..." Lana mocked thinking, knowing she was making Lucius uncomfortable. "But wait - oh, what a shame..." she sighed. "I killed them....Guess thats them out of the running then." Lana smirked.  
  
"Hmmm, yes you did..." Lucius said. "You know, maybe I should just kill you."  
  
Lana pouted. "Thats a bit of an anti-climax isnt it Lucius? I thought you came to talk...I thought we were gonna talk..." she said, as she walked over to Lucius slowly.  
  
"But no, wait..Being alive is torture enough for you. You couldnt save Lily and James....then you couldnt even save Sirius....and you wont be able to save Remus or Harry....I guess just existing now that Sirius has gone is torture enough for you."  
  
Lana stopped in her tracks, and for one awful moment, she thought that they were both dead.  
  
Seeing the look on her face brought pleasure to Lucius....and, oddly, he pitied her slightly. "Dont worry....theyre safe...for now."  
  
"You even look at Harry, and I'll kill you too." Lana said, clenching her fists.  
  
"Tut tut Lana. What about Remus?"  
  
"Same goes. But he can handle himself agains you. He killed...what...4 Death Eaters?....and Im guessing....with me around again...A lot more are gonna die. And you really dont wanna get in my way when I get hold of Lestrange." Lana said dangerously, now right in front of Lucius.  
  
Shed make a really good Death Eater, Lucius thought. Ruthless, cunning...and hot as hell. Which is a lot more than Lestrange or any other woman..."Speaking of Sirius." Lucius said. "Think of all those years you spent apart...all those years he spent in Azkaban...the two years he was free...all wasted because you werent together... Well what if I could give it back to you Lana? What if I could take all the pain and make it...disappear?"  
  
Lana raised an eyebrow, mildy intrested.  
  
"What if I could give all those years back to you...You and Sirius together..." he continued.  
  
Lana frowned. "You dont have that kind of power and you know it."  
  
"True..I dont. But my Lord does."  
  
Lana rolled her eyes and walked over to the other wardrobe and opened the door. "Please. Do you really think Id go for that?"  
  
"Well I dont know what youd go for Lana..." he said, watching her as she pulled on a pair of black trousers, with a gold spiralling all the way down them, and a gold halter neck.  
  
"Not you, Lucius" as she walked over and grabbed her wand, muttered a spell and her hair was perfectly long and dry and curly. "You obviously havent come here to torture, maim or kill me, or you wouldnt have let me grab my wand,"  
  
Lucius nodded, looking at Lana, wanting to just grab her and kiss her, or grab her and slap her. One or the other. But he didnt. All these years, and just when Voldemorts back, Lucius' one weakness re-appears. Also shes one of Voldemorts biggest weaknesses.  
  
"Dont even think about it" Lana said sharply, aiming her wand at Lucius "I know what youre thinking. Now, if youll excuse me, I am going out." 


	19. Drunk

(NOTE : short chapter at the moment I know, but again, will update ASAP. MORE REVIEWS PLEASE. Im holding the rest of the chapter hostage until more people review it!! sorry, But Reviews help me write when I know people are reading it...)  
  
Lana stood glaring at Lucius, and he looked right back at her, admiring the way the metallic gold top hung on her curves, the way that the black trousers hugged her skin, the way her hair hung...Oh, he loved that hair. The way it bounced when -  
  
"Heloooo?" Lana said, waving a hand in front of his face. "Anyone there in that demented head of yours?" she asked, lowering her hand.  
  
Lucius moved quickly and grabbed her wrist, squeezing it tightly, making Lana wince as he tightened his hand around her wrist, yanked her closer to him, almost pulling her arm from its socket. He held her arm high in the air, and ran his other hand down her hair. "I love this hair...I remember..."  
  
Lana tried not to show how much his grip was hurting her, and she forced the tears of pain away and glared at him. "Take your hand off me Lucius, because this time, I might not stop hitting you."  
  
Lucius narrowed his eyes and let go of Lana, shoving her backwards, and then he disapparated with a soft pop.  
  
Lana let out a long sigh of relief, and looked at the deep red marks on her right wrist, which were already starting to bruise. She was trembling sightly, but not in fear. In anger - and in fright of herself. She had actually been tempted to kiss Lucius...and for the first time, she realised that she had an itch she couldnt scratch herself. But not with Lucius. He was evil, and dangerous. Lana had known this when she had played around with him before, but it wasnt as bad when he didnt know who she was actually working for. But now he and Voldemort knew...she had to be more careful. And that was exactly Lanas problem. It was the danger that she liked, the thrill of getting caught, the thrill of being in danger...It had also been James and Sirius' worst flaw, and also the best thing about them.  
  
Lana crossed to her draws and yanked one open, looked around for a few bracelets, and shoved them over her wrist, wincing, but they covered the bruise, more or less. She checked herself in the mirror, and then disapparated with a soft pop, and appeared outside 4, Privet Drive. Harry was just shimmying down the drainpipe as she appeared, and he dropped to the floor and looked at her nervously as he walked down the drive. He noticed that she was more dressed up than him,and he even wondered what the hell he was doing with someone that he barely knew, but he didnt care. He was almost 16, and hed do what the hell he wanted to, and when.  
  
"Hey" Lana smiled at him as he closed the gate quietly. Harry turned around and looked at Lana.  
  
"Um, I dont think Im dressed right.." he said, and Lana waved her hand dismissively.  
  
"Dont worry. Where we're going, all the men dress like that, with the baggy clothes and....well you know." she said, as they walked towards the bus station.  
  
"Do you think this is such a good idea?" Harry asked Lana, who raised her eyebrows at him as they reached the bus station.  
  
"Who cares? Isnt is the thrill of it that makes it worth doing?" she asked, then kicked herself mentally. "And besides..Its not like youre a kid any more....and....also, youre Harry Potter."  
  
"What do you mean by that?" Harry asked, slightly angrily.  
  
"Have you never even considered it? Youre the Famous Harry Potter."  
  
"I didnt ask for it, you know, and my parents did die, making me famous."  
  
Lanas heart ached for Harry. "I know you didnt ASK for it, Harry..But still, have you never even thought of using it to your advantage?"  
  
"NO." he said firmly, making the other people at the bus stop stare.  
  
Lana was suprised. Had it been James...But hes not his father, Lana reminded herself. "Okay...Just asking..."  
  
The bus pulled up and Lana gestured for Harry to get on. He did, and he walked to the back of the bus as Lana got their tickets.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*ABOUT HALF AN HOUR LATER*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
On the bus, Lana and Harry had had plenty to talk about, with Hogwarts and Voldemort, although Lana always steered the conversation back to something a little less disturbing every time Harry mentioned Voldemort. Harry was more than a little apprehensive about where they were going and what they were going to do, but he couldnt help trusting Lana. The anger that filled him, that was always threatening to boil over, had strangely subdued since Lana and Harry had gotten talking about Hogwarts, and Lana was asking him which passages he knew about, and who was teaching there etc.  
  
Harry soon realised, when they got off the bus, that Lana was taking him out to the pubs and clubs that were in central London.  
  
"Um...Lana...last time I checked..Im not 18..how can I get in?"  
  
She laughed. "Harry, when will you learn? Always have contacts in the Muggle world that are actually Muggles...they do have their uses you know."  
  
They walked quickly to the centre, and lots of people were milling around, queuing, lots of cops. Lana took Harry by the arm and led him to the club that was 3 stories high, and also had a queue that stretched around the block. Lana walked straight past the queue, and tapped one of the bouncers on the back.  
  
He turned around and smiled down at Lana. "Hey girl..Long time no see!"  
  
"Hey Lenny." Lana said, grinning broadly. "This is Harry..My cousin..Hes kinda new to the whole RnB scene."  
  
"Hey Harry" he said, shaking Harrys hand, and Harry thought his hand would break under the mans strong grip.  
  
"Hi.." Harry managed to gasp.  
  
"You havent changed much, have you Lana?" Lenny said, winking at her. "Go on in girl, get yourself and your cousin here a drink, put it on my tab"  
  
"Thanks" Lana said, and walked through the VIP entrance, pulling Harry with her.  
  
Harry noticed a long scar down Lanas right arm as she pulled him into the bar.  
  
"Howd you get that scar on your arm?" he asked Lana, whos eyes suddenly clouded over with the painful, literally, memory of how shed got it.  
  
"Got stabbed" she said simply. "So..drink?" she asked as they reached the bar, casually changing the subject.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*A FEW HOURS LATER*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana pushed an extremely drunk Harry into a taxi, and fell in after him.  
  
"Muggle world has its uses dont it?" Lana slurred, looking at Harry.  
  
"Yeshhh it doeshhh" Harry slurred, and Lana laughed.  
  
"Vodka..makes boring people seem more intresting, makes the sun shine a little brighter, numbs the pain.."  
  
Harry was starting to feel rather ill. "Ish it me, or ish the taxi shhpining?" he asked Lana.  
  
"stop!" Lana told the cab driver, and flung open the door, as she saw Harry look ill. He leaned out of the door and vomited on the side of the road. Lana found herself sobering up as she listened to Harry retching. She rubbed his back. "Youll be okay..." Lana thought back to all the times her and Lily had had to sort Sirius and James out after a night on the clubs. She laughed...then cringed as she remembered the time she was so drunk, it was the first time she had stayed at Sirius house, she wet the bed...  
  
She heaved Harry back into the taxi, and slammed the door shut as it sped off. A few minutes later and it pulled up at the end of Privet Drive. Lana paid the man and he sped off. Lana supported Harry as they walked down the street.  
  
Lana saw someone walking at a quick pace towards them, and her first thought was that it was Lucius, but as he stepped into the street light, she saw it was just Remus Lupin.  
  
"LANA!" he called out, and as he got closer, Lana could see that he was furious. "HARRY!"  
  
"hey Professhhor" Harry managed to slur.  
  
"HOW IRRESPONSILBLE DO YOU WANT TO BE?!?!" Remus shouted, and was even angrier when Lana shhsushed him and waved her hand dismissively.  
  
"Calm down Moony, we were just having some fun." she said, and turned to Harry. "Im gonna magic you back into your room okay? Just..be quiet." Harry nodded and swayed, then disappeared with a soft pop.  
  
Lana looked back to Remus, who was giving her *the* look, which meant that he found it amusing on some level, but thought she was incredibly stupid and he was pissed off with her. Lana let her arms flop to her side.  
  
"Dont look at me like that Moony." she said, walking, in a straight-ish line over to him, and grinned at him.  
  
"I always knew you and Sirius were irresponsible when you were together, took stupid risks, loved the thrill of putting your life in danger, but thats different! It was you and Sirius, two extremely clever and powerful wizards! Sirius risked his own life, his own skin to see Harry, but he never risked Harrys life! Never! Can you imagine what would have happened if it had been Dumbledore on guard tonight! Lana, Im - " He stopped, seeing that Lana was on the verge of tears as they walked up the path to her front door.  
  
Lana opened the lock with extremely trembling hands and stepped inside. Remus followed. She flicked on the light and stood looking at him.  
  
"Dont lecture me okay Moony? I just thought that Harry and I could do with a little - forgetting. Forgetting the pain, and the agony, and the grief and the loss that were both feeling right now. It was stupid, I know, but I really dont care. I just wanted one night where I didnt have to think about Sirius, one night where I didnt have to think about the pain I caused him before he went to Azkaban, when I didnt have to feel guilty every second of every day." Lana said, shaking terribly, pulling the bracelets off her wrist.  
  
"Im sorry Lana, I..." Remus trailed off. He looked at Lanas wrist. "Im just worried in case one of the Death Eaters comes for you...Lana, you killed 7 of them...4 of their best men...Lucius Malfoys brother!" he trailed off again.."Also...there are other reasons why Lucius would come for you.." he said quietly.  
  
Lana sat down on couch, taking her shoes off. She sighed as she took them off, and Lupin joined her on the couch. She leaned back.  
  
"Lucius Malfoys already been here, Moony." she said, flippantly.  
  
"What?!?" he said, turning his whole body around to Lana "How can you say it so casually?"  
  
"Nothing happened...he just...wanted to talk."  
  
"TALK?!! About what? Lana why didnt you say something?"  
  
"I can handle Lucius, you know that."  
  
Lupin grabbed Lanas wrist. "Really looks like it."  
  
She winced a little. "He grabbed me." from the look on Lupins face, she added "He didnt try it on...for once.." she muttered.  
  
Lana bit her lip, and asked the question she had dreaded asking, but had to know the answer to. "Remus...Did..did anyone tell Sirius what actually happened?"  
  
Remus looked her in the eyes, an odd expression on his face. "Oh Lana," he began. "He wouldnt - Yes. I told him. Dumbledore told him. But Sirius wouldnt let anyone talk about you to him. Except for that explanation..."  
  
"Oh..." Lana said, disappointment and grief heavily in her voice. "I cant expect him to have..."  
  
Lupin took Lanas hand. "But....I know that he forgave you. He always kept that photo..you know the one with you and him, kissing...arms wrapped around each other...He always had that with him. A bit worn and battered, but still....It was there." Lupin knew he should tell Lana more, but he didnt want to upset her more than she already was.  
  
Lana pulled Lupin into a hug. "I love you Moony..." she sighed. "I dont know what Id do if you werent here..." the tears welled up and a few spilled over. "Im sorry..Im so sorry...I just wanted something to...to numb the pain...The guilt, the confusion, I just.."  
  
Lupin held Lana tighter, and he himself felt like crying. His eyes travelled down her right arm, on which she bore the scar that travelled almost all the way down her forearm. He shuddered at the memory of that awful week. 


	20. The First Time They Escaped Voldemort

(NOTE : again, will update soon Flash back - will be going back 2 normal time and Harry next chapter)  
  
Sirius looked down at Lana, as the sunlight filtered through the slightly open curtains. Her dark brown hair was mussed up, a little blood was in it. Sirius felt his heart ache so bad, the guilt of letting her get captured almost too much to bear these past 2 days, and then the sitting around and being told not to do anything...He had to do something...But no, Dumbledore told him, theres nothing you can do now. He hated that Dumbledore spoke about her like she was already dead, and after the power that Lana had burst through last night, how he had explained what had happened, that she had sacrificed herself to save him, Lily and James. Sirius was angry. His heart had been breaking these past few days, he had been tearing his hair out, just wanting Lana back alive.  
  
Lana turned onto her stomach in her sleep, pulling the covers away from her, they were irritating her back. As she pulled them down, he saw the deep lacerations that went diagonally across her back, still fresh and raw and one had started bleeding slightly. His eyes travelled to the purple and yellow bruise on the bottom of her back, where she had said, in her weakened state, was there because she fell. He climbed out bed and walked over to the cabinet, took out some cloths and dipped them in water, walked over to the bed and wiped at the blood gently. He bit his lip as Lana winced in her sleep, and just as he finished, she groaned and turned over onto her side. She began itching the long, deep gash on her arm. He was suprised that she hadnt bled to death from it. He grabbed her hands and held them gently apart, so she couldnt make it, if possible, any worse. She had done this to herself protecting them. It should have been him protecting her. He was proud as hell of her tho, her complete selflessness.  
  
She squirmed under his grasp, and he had to hold her tighter then he could have liked, and she kicked out at him, screaming "get off me, get off me" and Sirius felt a few tears fall for her, and she woke up and looked up at him, stopping screaming.  
  
She was breathing hard, and it took her a few moments to realise that it was Sirius kneeling above her, holding her hands gently but firmly. Lana stopped struggling under his grasp and lay there, quiet and still, realising that she was at home with Sirius and she had managed to escape with her life. Barely.  
  
"Im sorry" she whispered and he looked at her, horrified.  
  
"What are you apologising for Lana?" he asked "Im the one thats sorry...I left you to get caught - " the words caught in his throat and Lana sat up, looking at him.  
  
"No, it was my fault...I dont even know what happened..Where all that power came from..I just" Lana shook her head, shutitng her eyes and moving closer to Sirius, wrapping her arms around him and snuggling onto his shoulder, kissed his neck a little. "Im alive...Thats all that matters."  
  
"I'm never letting you go now" he said, holding her tight and close.  
  
When Lily, James, Sirius, Remus and Mad-Eye had saw her last night, they wanted to use magic on her to heal her injuries, but Lana had shook her head, saying that she had had enough magic used on her body these past few days, thankyou very much, and she just wanted to rest. To her great relief and appreciation, Dumbledore had agreed, saying the wounds would heal themselves in time and that Lana needed a great deal of rest to recover, mentally and phyisically. She was battered, bruised, broken beyond belief and just wanted to sleep. Dumbledore had told her to take as much time as she needed to rest before she could fill them in on what had happened.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~A FEW DAYS EARLIER~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana, Sirius, Lily and James had just left Remus at the Shrieking Shack and were walking down to the Three Broomsticks, (on Lanas request, instead of apparating, she wanted to walk) when Voldemort, and 8 Death Eaters appeared. The only one with her hood down was Bellatrix Lestrange.  
  
"Hello cousin" she said to Sirius, who snorted.  
  
"No cousin of mine, you evil bitch" he retorted, as he reached for his wand. Lily and James already had theirs in their hands.  
  
"Tut tut Sirius, such language" she laughed.  
  
The Death Eaters formed a square around Lily, James, Sirius and Lana. Two Death Eaters per person. Voldemorts stood to the bottom of them, facing Lana.  
  
"Whats the matter, Voldy," James said "Have to gang up on us cos you know we'd kill you all easily?" he taunted.  
  
"How dare you mock The Lord!" Lestrange said, enraged.  
  
James and Sirius let out a laugh. "Some Lord" James said. Lily shushed him.  
  
"Such arrogance" Voldemort spoke. "Well, I guess killing 4 out of the 6 closest to Dumbledore is as good as all 6...Besides, Ive been meaning to send him a message, and you seem to be constantly getting in my way. Two birds, one stone, you get me?"  
  
"If youre so sure of yourself, why dont you send your little boy scouts home and kill us yourself?" Sirius asked, looking at the two Death Eaters that decided they were gonna have a pop at him, but looking at Lana from the corner of his eye, wondering why she hadnt got her wand out.  
  
Lana was frozen to the spot, with fear, this was the first time shed come face to face with Voldemort. She managed to note that Lily James and Sirus had backed into kind of a square, leaving only the front of their bodies open to attack, whilst Lana didnt know what to do first, grab her wand or run, or who to watch.  
  
Sirius reached out with his free hand and wrapped it around her wrist, pulling her towards him. "Lana..Honey...Get your damn wand out" he told her.  
  
James was actually terrified, but he was still an arrogant son of a bitch, and a damn good wizard, the best of his generation, along with Sirius. And he wasnt going to go down without a bit of banter and without a fight first. He took Lilys right hand in his left hand and squeezed it tightly.  
  
Sirius was thinking rapidly of curses, but to be honest, all he cared about was Lana. Self-preservation used to be his biggest motivation, but now his biggest motivation for fighting was Lanas safety. Also, Lily and James. He would die for his friends, his girlfriend before ever running out them. Self-preservation came a big second to that, but again, he only didnt want to die and leave Lana.  
  
"I love you" he whispered.  
  
"Oh how sweet" Voldemort sneered. "Must say though, a good choice of last words. Because they are. Your. Last. Words."  
  
Lana still hadnt grabbed her wand, and Sirius was really woried that she would be hurt.  
  
Lestrange laughed manically at Sirius, her eyes glinting, bordering on psychotic.  
  
"Awwwwwwww" she mocked.  
  
"Youre gonna die, Bella, and Im gonna be there to watch it," Sirius told her.  
  
"Dont talk like that." Lana whispered, although she hadnt moved her lips at all. Sirius noticed this, and Lily and James eyes wavered a little as they must have heard it too. But none of them said anything. "Dont talk like were going to die here. Were not."  
  
"Lana..get your damn wand" Sirius whispered again.  
  
The Death Eaters moved closer, their wands raised, waiting for Voldemorts command.  
  
Lana didnt know why she hadnt reached for her "damn wand". But she did feel her surivival instincts kicking in. Fight or flight. Definately not flight. She would never abandon her friends and Sirius just to save her own ass. Right now, she was halfway through deciding what to do when she felt Sirius hand on hers. Lana was torn between fear and anger. The anger was getting more and more, especially as she heard Lestrange mocking Sirius. Lana felt a strange sensation flowing through her. It started at her feet, and worked its way up through her body. The energy, the heat that she felt was making the hairs on her arms stand up. As the feeling reached her hands and face, she looked down and saw that she was crackling. Little sparks of blue and red were sparking from her upturned palms. Lana was totally confused, but the power that she was feeling, oh the power...It was intoxicating, and totally seductive. Lana felt herself surrendering to the power, and what an effect it had.  
  
The Death Eaters had paused, staring at Lana.  
  
Sirius, James and Lily frowned, and half glanced at Lana as she stepped away from them, and stood about 3 metres away from Voldemort.  
  
"What the hell are you doing?!?" James shouted after her, and Lily had gone even whiter.  
  
"Lana no" she whispered, having some idea of what she thought Lana was doing.  
  
Sirius stared at the Death Eaters oppsite Lana, and saw them raise their wands.  
  
Voldemort stared at Lana, at the way the energy around her crackled.  
  
"Enough of this bullshit" he said, and raised his wand as, The Death Eaters, as one, at Voldemorts command, shouted  
  
"CRUCIO"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOO" Lana screamed, and flung her arms out, parallel to the ground, the two middle fingers on her hands down, her thumbs pressing down on them.  
  
A blast of cold air whipped around the group, and surrounded Sirius, Lily and James, with only a gap where Lana was stood. The cold air fizzled and cracked with energy, making loud bangs as the "Crucio" curse rebounded off the invisible shield that Lana had threw up and the Death Eaters scrambled to dodge them as they deflected off the dome. Lana lifted her arms up a little more, and the bottom 3 feet of the dome became fire, it ripped around the bottom from Lanas left side to her right side.  
  
Voldemorts eyes widened in panic, and the screams of the Death Eaters who had got hit with their own curse barely reached Lanas ears, she was to far gone in the power to really control anything.  
  
Over head, the sky went dark and lightning crashed.  
  
The Death Eaters had recovered and were now bashing the protective dome with all kinds of curses, and it was mentally, emotionally and physically hurting Lana, as each spell hit the dome, a scratch appeared on Lanas back, getting longer and deeper as more spells hit it. She was struggling to keep it up.  
  
The dome flickered for a second, and a spell got through and just grazed Lily and Sirius head, missing them by millimetres. Sirius was watching Lana, as was Lily and James, having no idea how she was doing what she was doing. Sirius noticed the blood seeping through Lanas white t-shirt and shouted to her.  
  
"LANA STOP IT! YOURE HURTING YOURSELF!"  
  
Lana saw this, and flung her right arm across her left, and blasted the four Death Eaters into the air, sending bits of the ground flying into the air. The screams of the Death Eaters as Lana burnt them up using a dangerous power, one that she didnt know she had, Pyrokenisis. She was shaking violently, grinding her teeth through the pain.  
  
Voldemort roared in anger, and the remaining Death Eaters continued throwing spells at the dome, and the cuts continued getting deeper and longer and bleeding more as they did so.  
  
"HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?" Voldemort roared, flinging a curse at it himself, just above Lanas head, and when that hit, Lana fell to her knees, screaming as the cuts went deeper.  
  
"LANA! STOP IT! ITS HURTING YOU! LET THE DAMN WALL DOWN" Sirius shouted to her.  
  
"Sirius come ON!" James said, pulling at him.  
  
"NO! I CANT LEAVE HER!"  
  
Lana turned and looked at Sirius, Lily and James. Her eyes were glowing a bright white. "GO! IM NOT DOING THIS FOR THE FUN OF IT YOU KNOW!"  
  
James marveled at her. Still able to be sarcastic.  
  
"Come on Sirius," James said again, still tugging at him with one hand and holding Lily with the other.  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Looks to me like she can handle herself" James noted.  
  
"LANA!" Sirius shouted, as she screamed in pain and almost fell from her knees onto her face.  
  
"DAMMIT GO!" she screamed, and James yanked Sirius away, and then they disapparated with a soft pop.  
  
Lana fell to the floor, bleeding heavily, exhausted, and Voldemort lifted his hand up to stop his Death Eaters from killing her.  
  
He was filled with rage, but also a deep curiousity. "Looks like we have ourselves something very powerful here..." he mused, and muttered something that tied Lana up and then he disappeared with Lana.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ABOUT 10 MINUTES LATER~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sirius paced the Order of the Phoenix's Headquaters as he waited for Dumbledore to get back from outside the Shrieking Shack with Lana.  
  
"I cant believe it...I cant believe what she did..." Lily muttered, still white and shaking. "What did she do?" she asked, looking around at James, Sirius, Mad-Eye, Peter, the Longbottoms, and a few other members.  
  
"She saved us, thats what she did" Sirius said sharply. "I dont know how tho, I dont what she did, you cant, you just cant deflect or protect yourself from those curses...But Lana did. She deflected and protected us, and everytime she did, it etched away at her body, making her bleed all over the place."  
  
"Bravest thing Ive ever seen" James muttered. "Well, guess Im not the most powerful wizard of our generation, eh Sirius?" he said, trying to lighten the mood.  
  
"I shouldnt have let her do it. I should be protecting her." Sirius said, finally sitting down.  
  
"Well youre all safe, and thats the main thing" Mad Eye said.  
  
"NO ITS NOT! LANAS STILL OUT THERE! SHE COULD BE DEAD! SHE COULD BE DEAD!" Sirius said, his voice breaking.  
  
"Sooner dead than in the hands of Voldemort." Moody stated.  
  
Peter was talking with the other members. "What is she, Moody? No one can do that. Not even Dumbledore."  
  
Moody shrugged.  
  
James was comforting Lily, who was shaken and had started crying again.  
  
Sirius was banging his head against the wall.  
  
Moody was leaning against the table.  
  
Dumbledore walked in, his face ashen, carrying something in his hand.  
  
The whole room turned expectantly to Dumbledore. Sirius turned around slowly and looked at Dumbledore.  
  
"Where is she?" he asked, his voice shaking.  
  
"Sirius, I - " Dumbledore began.  
  
"Dont tell me shes not there." Sirius pleaded.  
  
Dumbledore shook his head. "Im sorry Sirius."  
  
He felt like all the air had gone out of the room. He could barely breathe, couldnt listen to this.  
  
Lily broke down sobbing. James was shocked beyond words.  
  
"Do I even want to know what you found?" he asked, his whole body trembling, his voice shaking so badly.  
  
"A lot of blood. And this." Dumbledore said, opening his hand and showing Sirius the gold locket that he had brought Lana for her birthday, about 3 days ago. He handed it to Sirius, who was trembling so much he almost dropped it.  
  
"Is...Do...But..Shes still alive, right?" he asked, not daring to hope too much.  
  
"I think so, yes."  
  
"YOU THINK!?! THATS NOT GOOD ENOUGH! SHE HAS TO BE! SHE HAS TO BE ALIVE!" Sirius shouted, thumping the wall at the side of him.  
  
Lily ran from the room and into the bathroom, and vomited.  
  
He bit down hard on his lip, making it bleed as he pulled his hand out of the wall.  
  
"Sirius...From what you told me...Lana has an awesome power that goes far beyond what any of us have ever seen or dealt with before. So my train of thought is, that, having seen this, Voldemort will keep Lana alive. Try and figure out what she is. Try and get her onto the dark side."  
  
"Lana would never" Sirius said quietly.  
  
//////////////////// VOLDEMORTS WEAKNESS \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  
  
Lana knew before she opened her eyes that she was chained up. Her wrists were sore from how tight they were, and she pulled her hands to her face to push her hair from it. The chains gave and Lana pushed the hair from her face, and let out a groan, because her back was hurting like hell.  
  
"Our guest has finally woken up." said a voice that sent chills all the way down Lanas spine. Voldemort.  
  
Oh God, Lana thought..."Sirius!" she said, sitting up quickly and biting on her lip to not scream in pain. She opened her eyes and saw...well just blackness to start off with. Her eyes adjusted to the dark, damp cavern lit by a few candles. She looked at the cuffs around her wrists. They were about 3 inches long,preventing her from bending her wrists. At least my hands are seperate, Lana thought, and looked up, seeing the chains were long, to give her some space to walk around. She leant back against the caves scratchy, rough wall and looked at the people in front of her. She was terrified.  
  
Voldemort chuckled at Lana. "Hes safe....For now."  
  
"What did you do?" Lana asked, her voice shaking, in fear of Voldemort, in fear that Sirius was dead, and in slight anger.  
  
"Nothing...Thanks to you." a voice from the corner said, if you could classify a corner.  
  
Lana strained her eyes to see that around 20 Death Eaters were stood in a semi-circle around her, with Voldemort in the centre, his wand pointed right at her.  
  
"Silence," Voldemort commanded. "But he is quite right. How did you do that Lana?" he asked, and he sounded mildy curious.  
  
Lana didnt know what to do. She didnt know, but if she said she didnt know, he would kill her because she had no information. She licked her lips and looked around at the 20 Death Eaters, and knew it was no point in trying to make a break for it. Like I could anyway, Lana thought, with these bloody things on me. She decided that the best thing, well, the best you could get, although it wasnt smart, was to act like she did know.  
  
"Like Id tell you." she said simply.  
  
Voldemort narrowed his eyes and took a step towards Lana. "You will tell me. How did you block those curses? Its impossible."  
  
"Obviously not if I did it." Lana said, sarcastically, and she couldnt believe she had just said that. She clapped her hands over her mouth.  
  
"How dare you be so disrespectful!" Lestrange said, and a flash of blue light flew from her wand, and Lana ducked, and its singed her hair slightly.  
  
"Rude ! We're talking !" Lana said to Lestrange, and Voldemort chuckled slightly.  
  
"Fiesty little girl." he commented, smiling at Lana, then he turned his gaze to Lestrange. "Dont do that."  
  
"Sorry Master" Lestrange said, stepping back.  
  
Lana shook her head. "Wow. Youre all so whipped."  
  
Voldemort chuckled again. "Dumbledores got you pretty whipped too, Lana."  
  
"Im suprised you can say his name. Hed kick your ass. No, wait, let me rephrase....He HAS kicked your ass."  
  
Voldemorts faced darkened. "Let me rephrase. Sirius has you whipped."  
  
Lana shrugged. "So?" this shocked Voldemort, and a ripple went through the cavern. "Id rather be whipped by someone I love with all my heart and soul, than whipped by someone who I only love out of fear for him."  
  
Her heart ached to think of Sirius, of what he must be going through..and that meant if Sirius was okay, so were Lily and James. Lana had felt her belief that Voldemort would fall wavering a little lately, and also she felt her belief that they were all going to make it out a live wavering a LOT. But there was one person who kept Lana hoping, believing, and in this case, knowing that she had to survive and make it out of here, and that was Sirius. True, she would rather die than see him die, but just as much she didnt want to die and leave him. Or leave him alone. Lana would rather have her heart broken that break Sirius by dying.  
  
Voldemort looked down at Lana. "Aww, how cute are you? Loving someone like Sirius...you know he can never love you back as much as you want him too."  
  
"What the hell would you know about what we have? You cant love. You never have. In fact, I dont think you even born with a goddam soul." Lana snapped, hardly believing she was being so brave. But he was pissing her off !  
  
"I wonder how he would feel, if I killed you, dismembered you and..Sent him the various body parts."  
  
Lana stood up, spread her arms wide. "Go for it." she said, eyes glittering.  
  
A ripple went around the room, and the Death Eaters stirred a little.  
  
He raised his wand, and pointed it at Lanas chest. She lifted her chin. "Free shot." she told him.  
  
Voldemort sighed. "You know I dont like to do that. I like to..Make you think you have a sporting chance by giving you back your wand."  
  
"I dont need my wand" Lana said, the words just rolling out of her mouth.  
  
"True..You dont seem to need your wand." Voldemort lowered his wand. "But still...I wonder what Sirius would say, finding his dead lovers body in little itty bitty pieces..."  
  
Lestrange laughed. "The ikkle kiddy love Siriusy..."  
  
"Do you think hed cry, Lana..." Voldemort tormented her, his eyes glittering malicously. "Do you think hed cry? Do you think hed go into a rage and come stampeding after me, and that Lily, James and the rest of your little group of buddies would come after him, but wait...Its too late. Theyve already walked into the trap. Then I kill them all....And send their remains to Dumbledore?"  
  
Lana looked at his steely gaze, and gave him one right back.  
  
"Or maybe...Maybe...Theyre already doing that." Voldemort said. Lanas heart started hammering in her chest.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
Voldemort grinned. "Maybe I dont have to be that graphic....Maybe I just have to...Hint that you could be dead, that should be enough to send them coming after you...and after me..then - " Voldemort flicked his wand "flick flick flick flick flick..all dead. All your fault. And youd watch, too."  
  
The Death Eaters laughed lowly.  
  
Lanas head was spinning. Voldemort hadnt planned on them getting away, so when he grabbed Lana...he saw the perfect opportunity to draw them to him...Oh God. Theyre all gonna die and its all my fault...No, wait..thats what Voldemort wants you to think....Hmm...Come on, come on...Lana think of something dammit...  
  
"Okay." she said..and immediately wondered where the hell she was gonna go from there.  
  
"Okay?" Voldemort asked.  
  
"Okay. Do it. Id love to see you get shot down when your at your most arrogant...I thought James was a swell-head, but....Not compared to you." Lana waved her arms in the air "OOooooooo Im the Dark Lord, Ooooo Im so BAD" she mocked him, "I have all these people around me, but I had to use the Imperius curse on them to get them to join me, cos they all knew what an ASSHOLE I am....And how much of a LAME wizard I am.."  
  
This caused shrieks of outrage from the Death Eaters, and several shot spells and curses at her, but Lanas eyes went white and she deflected them easily, smashing into the sides of the cavarn.  
  
"SUCH DISRESPECT!" Lestrange shouted over and over again.  
  
"Cos I cant to ANYTHING on my own...I have to have all these people around me to remind me of how BAD I am..cos im BAD BAD BAD.." Lana continued mocking, and stopped, an insane kind of grin on her face. 


	21. Lost and Found

(NOTE:right now Im at a friends house, but I got hit with inspiration,so...I had 2 write!)  
  
Lana narrowed her eyes at Voldemortand stood, arms as folded as the chains would let them, and tapped her foot impatiently.  
  
The Death Eaters were in uproar, couldnt believe that someone would dare be so mocking. The funniest thing was that she was the youngest person they had captured, 17, still at Hogwarts and they had expected her to cry and beg for mercy. But here she was, brass and bold and mocking the Dark Lord.  
  
Voldemort was stunned. Never in all his years had anyone ever mocked him to this extent, and in front of his face, and in these circumstances.  
  
"You should be begging for your life." he said softly, and the Death Eaters fell quiet when he spoke. "Youre every bit as arrogant and insufferable as that lover of yours. And you will die. I will be there to watch it. I may even do it myself. Or maybe Ill make you watch Sirius die first."  
  
Lana raised her eyebrows, but she didnt doubt what Voldemort said to her. She was terrified, and she hated being scared. It made her angry that someone could make her afraid.  
  
"Leave us." Voldemort instructed the Death Eaters.  
  
"But my Lord.." Lestrange protested.  
  
"Leave. Now." Voldemort commanded.  
  
"Lord - " Lestrange continued.  
  
Voldemort turned to her and muttered "crucio". Her screams filled the cavern for a few seconds and then he let her go. "Anybody else want to disobey me?"  
  
The Death Eaters disapparated out of the cavern, and Lestrange was the last one to go. That left Lana and Voldemort.  
  
Lana took a few steps, putting a good few metres between her and Voldemort. She couldnt be bothered to defend herself any more.  
  
"A little anti climatic, dont you think?" she asked. "Thought you were gonna make a big show if killing me."  
  
"Im not going to kill you." Voldemort said, but he was still giving Lana the major wiggins. She felt her stomach lurch, and she was sure it had nothing to do with the life or death situation she was in right now.  
  
Lana frowned and barely had time to register what was happening as a flash of blue light hit her in the stomach, sending her flying back 3 metres and around 6 foot in the air, smashing into the wall of the cavern, the rocks digging into her back, making the cuts deeper, and the pain was unbearable, but she couldnt breathe, was winded, and she fell forwards and down hard onto the floor, smashing her knees and jarring her arms as she put her palms down to stop her hitting her face. Blood poured from Lanas mouth as she coughed, catching her breath.  
  
She got up, angry and shaking and terrified, and ran for Voldemort, but before she got more than a few meters, the chains yanked her back and almost ripped her arms from her sockets.  
  
"Arghhhhhhh" she screamed, and fell backwards and landed on her ass.  
  
Voldemort chuckled. "Lana, Lana, Lana....." he said, flicking his wand lazily, and he slammed her back into the wall again, but held her there this time, and a little lower so he could talk right to her face.  
  
"Fiesty little 17 year old arent you? Just 17...7th year of Hogwarts...Living with Sirius Black...Been dating him for 3 years almost. Bestest friends with Lily and James. Its really...kinda cute." he said, mocking her. "Im not sure what it is with you and the werewolf tho...And you dont seem to trust little Peter, do you? Makes me sick." Voldemort said, and Lana was struggling to breathe, blood trickling from the side of her head, from her mouth, and the wounds on her back re-opening.  
  
"Fuck you" she managed to stay, spitting blood at him.  
  
Voldemort flicked his wand and two gashes appeared on Lanas face, making her wince.  
  
"You fight like a girl" Lana spat at him.  
  
Voldemort flicked his wand, and threw Lana up to the ceiling of the cavern, then dropped her before she could hit it, and she fell 20 foot to the floor with a sickening crunch, landing awkwardly on her front, and she felt a deep searing pain deep in her stomach.  
  
Lana gasped outloud, and cringed so bad, and as she tried to kneel up, she found herself keeling over when she saw all the blood on her back and on her in general.  
  
"Ive killed people for a lot less than this Lana, Ive killed witched older and more talented than you." But Lana could barely hear what he was saying. "Im starting to wonder why Im talking and not killing you" he said, flicking his wand and levitating her a few feet in the air. "I think its because, when you should be annoying me beyond belief, with the mocking and the arrogance...Youre actually intriguing and amusing me. For someone not even out of Hogwarts yet...You have a lot of balls. You are ruthless and determined. Another reason for killing you would be that you killed 4 of my men tonight. Good, strong men. Yet....I feel their loss will be nothing if only you would join us, Lana.." Lana managed to mutter something. "Never." and Voldemort let his wand down, Lana falling to the floor, again with the searing pain in her stomach. "oowwwwww" she screamed.  
  
******THE ORDER****** "Two weeks into term and Lanas already sneaking out of school!" Dumbledore said to James who had taken Dumbledore into the large hallway of Sirius home to talk to him.  
  
"What can I say? I take full resposibility for Lana coming out of school. It was my idea." James said, trying to stop Dumbledore from expelling Lana or something - thats if she was alive. "And if she hadnt been out of school...Then you'd have 3 dead bodies...or bits of bodies...on your hands instead of the possible one." he said quietly.  
  
"That is true, James, and looking at it from the Orders point of view, I am extremely grateful that she was. At what cost, though? But from the Headmaster of a school where Lana should have been, well, it cannot be taken lightly. And its not the first time that Lana has pulled something like this...Ive been extremely lenient with her for - well since Sirius left school." He told James, but Dumbledore wasnt about to tell James his real reason for thinking of expelling Lana. Not yet, anyway...And James had protested that Lana could be dead, and Dumbledore had tried to convince them all that Lana was alive...but...  
  
James had always had the feeling that Dumbledore knew a lot more about the comings and goings of the Hogwarts students than he let on. After half an hour of trying to get some information on just what Voldemort was doing with Lana, and what Dumbledore was planning to do when and if she got back, and getting nothing, he gave up. James was fighting a losing battle and he knew it. It hurt him to think of Lana, and he couldnt imagine what Sirius was going through.  
  
"I just think...If shes still alive..." James said, trailing off, finding nothing else to argue with.  
  
Dumbledore shook his head slightly as James strode down the hall and turned right into the main lounge. He smiled at Lily and kissed her briefly.  
  
"I cant stand this, not doing anything, shes not even finished school yet James, its almost - " Lily looked at the clock. "24 hours since they grabbed her. Someone must have some idea of where Lana is." Lilys eyes were brimming with tears.  
  
"Hey, honey, its gonna be fine" James said, hugging Lily tight, saying the words with more confidence than he felt.  
  
"Sirius is still sleeping" Dorcas Meadows walked into the huge lounge through the door on the left, appearing from the stairs. "I still cant believe we sedated him. Hes gonna be so pissed when he wakes up." she said to Lily and James, shaking her blonde head. "Wheres Remus?" she asked.  
  
"Also sleeping." James told her. "Full moon last night."  
  
The portrait of Lana, Sirius, Lily, James, Remus and Peter that ran across the huge chimney suddenly burst to life with the screaming of one of the female headteachers of Hogwarts.  
  
"DUMBLEDORE!! DUMBLEDORE!!" she screamed, scaring the hell out of Lily James and Dorcas.  
  
"What? Why?" James demanded, and Dorcas had already grabbed her wand.  
  
"Theres someone is his office" the woman said hysterically  
  
"Voldemort?" James asked, grabbing his wand.  
  
"Dont be so bloody ridiculous James, I thought you had brains" Dorcas said.  
  
"Oh no, not - You Know Who. A girl. Young. Dark hair. Battered and bruised and messing up Dumbledores carpet with her blood she is."  
  
"Lana." they all said as one, and Lily grabbed her wand.  
  
"Lily, honey, stay here please" James said. "If shes in a state..then..you cant..." Lily reluctantly agreed, nodded and sat down, feeling really sick.  
  
"Ill stay with her" Dorcas said, sitting down beside Lily.  
  
At that moment, Sirius walked down the stairs, still wearing the white shirt that showed his little tan off great, made his eyes seem even more enchanting, that he had been wearing when Lana had gotten caught. His dark denim jeans were crumpled. He yawned and ran his hand through his messy hair.  
  
"What day is - " he began to ask, and then stopped as he saw their pale, shaken faces. He looked at Lily who was crying softly. "Oh God. Who died?" he asked, meaning to be sarcastic, but then it dawned on him that it just wasnt funny in this case. His eyes widened with the fear that had been threatening to grip him all day "Not Lana. The little colour Sirius had in his face drained.  
  
"I dont think shes dead." the portrait said, and disappeared.  
  
James was halfway to the door to get Dumbledore when Dumbledore rushed in, grabbing a hand full of Floo Powder and standing in the fireplace, yelling  
  
"Dumbledores Office" and James, and Sirius, against James advice, went in after.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~DUMBLEDORES OFFICE~*~*~*~*~*~ They looked around Dumbledores office and felt the colour drain from their faces, as, they walked around to the other side of the desk, they saw Lana. She lay face down on the carpet, and the blood had stopped flowing, but there was still a small puddle of it on the floor. The shirt on her back was torn and they could see the deep lashes on her back, the little bruises and the not so little bruise on the bottom of her back.  
  
"Oh my God" James whispered, frozen to the spot, half-relieved they had her back, half- extremely concerned at what state they had gotten her back in.  
  
Dumbledore couldnt speak.  
  
He looked at Sirius.  
  
Sirius was walking over to Lana, tears falling, half-shouting  
  
"NONONONONONONONONO" over and over as he knelt beside her and turned her over onto her back.  
  
James wished he hadnt. Dumbledore called for Madam Pomfrey.  
  
Lana had dried blood on her forehead, and it matted her hair a little. "Oh God noo Lana baby no" he said over and over, as he looked at Lanas shirt that was torn badly, well, ripped to shreds at the front, and the cuts on her stomach and chest were littler, like little fingernail marks and pin pricks, but there was a lot.  
  
Sirius ran his hand through Lanas hair and pulled her onto his knee, holding her and kissed her forehead. "Lana wake up baby, baby wake up, Lana". He noticed that Lanas jaw had a bruise appearing on it, and that her foot was sticking out at an odd angle. Her arm lay limply at her side, and she was like a rag doll.  
  
James heart was breaking for his best friend, he had no idea what he'd do if it was Lily. Wait, yes he did, hed kill the bastard scum that had done this to her.  
  
Dumbledore stepped forward, knowing that if they were gonna help Lana, they would have to the Hopsital Wing, and fast.  
  
"Sirius, come on..Let us take her." he said gently, laying a hand on Sirius shoulder and pushing him away a little.  
  
"No I cant..I I I cant let her go...Look - " Sirius couldnt speak any more, the tears choking him.  
  
"If were going to help her, you have to let go." Sirius looked up at Dumbledore and slowly let go of Lana. Dumbledore conjured Lana onto a stretcher and James was holding onto Sirius arm, and Sirius was still crying.  
  
Dumbledore turned his back on James and Sirius, a slight crease appearing on his forehead. He looked down at Lana through his half-moon spectacles and placed two fingers on her wrist. He held them there for a few seconds, and then moved them to her neck. Despite himself, Dumbledore felt a lump in his throat as he turned to James and Sirius.  
  
"Im sorry...Sirius..Shes cold."  
  
"WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN COLD? HOW CAN YOU JUST SAY THAT?" he screamed, angry that Dumbledore had said "cold" and what it meant. "SHES NOT! SHE CANT BE!"  
  
James didnt know what to do or say. He felt Sirius grip on his arm tighten as grief filled him.  
  
"Do something...Weve gotta do something...just.." Sirius was no longer crying. The tears had run dry. He was in total shock. He blinked slowly. This isnt real, he told himself. Not real...Not happening. Just a dream..A bad dream.  
  
"Why are you all crying?" Lanas voice sounded through the room. Sirius looked at Lanas body, but it hadnt moved. Confused, he turned to James and Dumbledore, to see if they had heard it. Apparently they had, as they were staring at the corner of the room, but Sirius couldnt see what they were looking at.  
  
He stood up and walked over to them, tears blurring his vision. Lana was stood there, in black and white, flickering slightly like an old TV. Her arms were folded across her chest and she still had all the injuries that her corporeal form had.  
  
Sirius wiped at his eyes and blinked a few times. James did this, but Dumbledore looked mildly curious.  
  
Lana stepped forwards and a chill passed through Sirius as she put her hand on him, pushing him gently to the side, or it would have done if her hand hadnt gone right through him, making him feel like hed just dipped his hand in a bucket of ice.  
  
Lana tipped her head to the side and saw her body.  
  
"Oh. This is not good." she said simply, frowning deeper.  
  
"Quite." Dumbledore seemed to be the only one except for Lana-thing to be able to form words.  
  
Lana turned back to the three of them and spoke to Dumbledore.  
  
"No, wait...Im not dead. I did...something. Different plane of existence. Too much pain. Dammit whats the word?" she asked, looking at Dumbledore quizzacly.  
  
"Astral projected."  
  
"Yeah...Dont know how though..."  
  
"Sometimes it happens automatically. You now have a choice. Youre body is, techinically, dead. But you have a choice. Live or die."  
  
It took Lana all of a second. "I aint dying! That bastard aint gonna kill me. Psh. Hes powerful yeah, but...I have things..People..to live for."  
  
James and Sirius were stood just gawping.  
  
"How do I get back in?" she asked, puzzled.  
  
Dumbledore raised an eyebrow and Lana suddenly looked as if she was being dragged backwards, and then she disappeared in a flurry of sparkles and a swishing sound.  
  
There was a sharp intake of breath from Lanas body and she sat up, choking and blood running from the corner of her mouth.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Lana unwrapped her arms from Sirius and shifted back on the bed, wincing.  
  
"Lana, just let Pomfrey heal your cuts...Please." Sirius asked, almost begging.  
  
"No." Lana refused, and kissed Sirius lightly on the lips. "Thanks for stopping me scratching." she swung her legs over the edge of the bed. "Im gonna go take a shower...get cleaned up."  
  
Sirius had his hand in his pocket, and was obviously fiddling with something. He took his hand out of his pocket with nothing in it. He held Lanas hand just as she stood up off the bed.  
  
"I love you." he told her, for the millionth time since she got back.  
  
"Not half as much as I love you." she replied, smiling.  
  
"I love you more!" he said, catching onto the game, smirking.  
  
"I love you more! I so love you more!" she said laughing as he pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her deeply on the lips.  
  
Lana pulled away. "I really have to go shower Sirius...So let me go."  
  
"No" he said, holding her tightly, and she strugled playfully against him  
  
"Let me go! Let me gooooooo!" she said, then looked at Sirius who was grinning at her. "What?"  
  
"Just keep wriggling like that..." he smirked.  
  
She raised an eyebrow. "You like that?" and stopped, smirking at him.  
  
"Mmmhmm." he mumbled as Lana kissed him, then moved her hands to his, and pulled them from her.  
  
"Later. I gotta go shower!" she said, and hobbled across the thick white carpet, and stood in front of the door of their en-suite bathroom. Fuck knows how Sirius afforded this place. He wouldnt let Lana spend any of her inheritance from her Mother, or what she was making from renting her and her mothers old house out. Sirius' mother, on the other hand..well....whole 'nother story. During the holidays of Lanas 4th year, her and the Maurders had stayed at her house, practically living there until Sirius had brought this house in Lanas 5th year, and his 7th, just after Christmas. That summer, Sirius asked Lana to move in with him, and Lana did. Wasnt much point in having these 2 huge houses and living seperately.  
  
"Are you okay?" came Sirius' voice, snapping Lana out of her thoughts. Lana realised shed been stood staring at the door for a few minutes.  
  
"Im fine." Lana said, and finally opened the door and walked into the bathroom. She flicked her wand and the shower burst to life at the perfect temparature. Lana gingerly pulled off her clothes and stepped under the hot water, feeling the water run over her broken body. She didnt wanna cry any more in front of Sirius.  
  
Even over the sound of the shower, Sirius could hear Lanas sobs.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ Half an Hour later ~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana dried herself off as best she could, and pulled her white bathrobe around her, albeit a little blood as she struggled to put it on, causing her back to bleed a little.  
  
Sirius was now sat on the plushy sofa that Lana had brought from her room into theirs. He looked gorgeous, Lana thought, he was wearing black jeans and a tight black t-shirt that showed off his toned, athletic body. He always seemed to have a slight tan, Lana noticed. Funny the things you notice when you havent seen your soul mate in a day, Lana thought. His hair seemed longer, too...Sirius had let it grow long once, but then he cut it. Lana liked it long, but its his hair....and he looks great anyway. He pushed his hair back, but it still hung in his face with a casual elegance.  
  
Lanas hair, however, hung wet and tangled, and about 4 inches past her shoulders. Sirius loved it.  
  
"Feeling any better?" Sirius asked, knowing it was a stupid question, hed heard her sobbing all through her shower. Obviously she didnt know he could hear her. It hrut him that she was crying, but it hurt him more that she didnt wanna do it in front of him. But he could understand why. Lana hated being weak. Even when she wasnt being weak, which she wasnt.  
  
"Feeling refreshed." Lana replied, walking with a limp over to her wardrobe.  
  
Sirius smiled a little, moving the thing he had in his hand around a little.  
  
Lana opened the wardrobe door, pushed it to the side, sliding doors, and winced. "Owwww."  
  
The smile faded quickly and he shoved it back in his pocket and walked over.  
  
"Are you okay?" he asked, standing behind Lana and running his hand down her hair.  
  
"Would you stop asking me that?!" she snapped, then sighed, putting her head in her hands and turning around to him. "Im sorry Sirius, I didnt mean to - "  
  
Sirius put a finger over Lanas lips. "Shh. Its okay."  
  
"I just had a little twinge..happened a few times since I got back." off his worried look, Lana added "But its nothing.". She looked at him. "Really. Im fine."  
  
"No youre not" he said, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her closer.  
  
"No Im not..." she agreed quietly.  
  
Sirius pushed Lanas hair gently back from her face, avoiding the cut on her forehead. Lana leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him, laying her head on his chest. Sirius ran his hands down her and onto her ass, and slapped it playfully.  
  
"Hey!" she said, looking up at him, pouting, then broke into a grin as she tiptoed and kissed him softly on the lips. He grabbed her ass a little, and pulled her closer as the kiss deepened. Lana ran her hands up his back, sending chills all down him as she stroked the back of his neck lightly, running her other hand through his hair. Sirius moved one of his hands down the back of Lanas bare leg, making her tremble, and she ran her hand down his chest. He pushed his tongue past Lanas lips and she didnt resist, and met it with her own, kissing him passionately as she ran her hand up the inside of his top. Sirius moved his other hand around to the front of Lanas robe, and tugged at where she had fastened it, and she let out a low moan of desire..  
  
BANG BANG BANG  
  
Came a knock on the door.  
  
They broke away, gasping for air. "Leave it" Lana said, moving her hips against him.  
  
"Yeah?!" Sirius managed to gasp.  
  
"I know you two are probably fucking or something, but Dumbledores called a meeting at Headquaters," came James voice, Lana rolled her eyes but grinned. "And seeing as Lanas the main attraction..." he paused, and Lana had some idea of what he was thinking. "Then you better get your asses moving."  
  
Sirius sighed and Lana turned back to the wardrobe, and pulled out a pair of white jogging bottoms, as her legs seemed to be the only things that werent bashed.  
  
"Be right there Prongs." he shouted in reply.  
  
"Dont be too naughty!" he said, and they heard footsteps as he walked off.  
  
"Never change.." Lana muttered.  
  
"Huh?" Sirius asked.  
  
"His heads deflated but all he thinks about, still, is sex." she said, laughing.  
  
Sirius, with great difficulty and sexual tension, helped Lana pull on her jogging bottoms and a small white vest top, tight so it didnt rub on her cuts and make them bleed. They were that deep, especially on her back, that you could see them even through the top. Sirius muttered something and Lanas wet hair dried and got magically tied into a high ponytail, tight, and then pulled into a loose bun, so her hair didnt irritate her back. Besides..Sirius loved it like that. Casual...But sexy. Lana pulled on two sweatbands over her wrists, to hide the sores, blisters and cuts on them from the chains. There was no hiding the deep gash on the inside of her right arm tho. 


	22. Appearances Pt1

(NOTE : 50 reviews will do. This is up for the people who have been reviewing since Day 1. However, I still want more reviews. Please! Im going away for the weekend 2mra, so...Thought Id update.)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~PRESENT TIME~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"I just wanted it to stop, I just wanted these feelings to stop." Lana said, with a lot of bitterness and anger in her voice. She leant back from Lupin and leant against the arm of sofa, her eyes a little red and her eyeliner smudged a little.  
  
Lupin knew it was wrong, but he couldnt keep his eyes off Lana. She was a very beautiful girl, inside and out, although there was a deep uglyness and a ruthless, determined, hateful, dangerous streak hidden deep inside her that had been revealed in the First War against Voldemort, and he knew that she didnt want to go to that Dark Place again, and he didnt want her to, it took them long enough to get her back, 15 years in fact, but the way she was going, the things she was doing, the emotions she was feeling was enough to push anyone off the edge. All this rage stemmed from one thing tho - Love.  
  
"I understand. I do. I - I did something stupid as well when Sirius died." Lupin said, looking away. "It was dangerous. And stupid."  
  
Lana looked at him.  
  
"I didnt take the Wolfsban potion."  
  
Lana looked at him blankly. "Huh?"  
  
Lupin suddenly realised that Lana had no idea what he was talking about. "Its a new thing. It helps me..Keep my own mind while Im the wolf. Safe. I was such a wreck after seeing Sirius fall...I didnt think. I was cut up inside. I still am. The last link to my childhood, everything Ive ever known....Gone with Sirius."  
  
Lana smiled weakly. "I know how you feel." Lana knew why Lupin didnt mention her name. Sirius, James and Peter had known Remus since they were 10, but Lana had known him since they were 16.  
  
Lupin wondered what the hell he was saying, but Lana just had this thing - she brought out peoples inner emotions, their deepest thoughts. Like Dumbledore. Only Lana didnt seem to realise what effect she had on people.  
  
"Except you, Lana....Youre still here." But youre really not, Lupin thought.  
  
Lana was staring at a spot on the wall, and didnt hear what Lupin said. "Oh, what?"  
  
"What are you looking at?" he asked, following Lanas gaze.  
  
"Nothing." she replied, tearing her eyes away from the wall, she could have sworn shed just saw something....Stop it, she told herself. Everyone will think youre a fucking loon. Too much alcohol.  
  
Her eyes travelled back to Lupin, wandered over his sandy blonde hair, his clear blue eyes, the fine lines at the side of them, they way they always looked tired, but now...They looked alive. He was wearing Muggle clothes, faded denim jeans and a blue shirt. Lana wasnt sure whether it was the alcohol or what, but suddenly she was seeing him in a slightly different light, and she could tell from the look on his face that he was seeing her, too. (Could I?) Lana thought, as she inched closer to Lupin. (Should I?)  
  
Lupin thought, (I know Ive wanted to in the past, but this is just taking advantage of her).  
  
Lanas breath caught in her throat, and a voice inside her head was screaming (What the fuck are you doing? You heartless bitch, Sirius is only just gone, and already your scamming on his friends!) she shifted her weight to her right leg, she was sat on her knees and her left leg was going numb. (Im...Vulnerable. Im on the rebound. This is...Solace.) she silenced the voice. (And way too much beer,) she added.  
  
Lupin swallowed nervously as Lana shifted, he was trembling, with anticipation and nervousness, and guilt. (Shes vulnerable. Grieving. This is wrong.) Lupin was about to say something, but another voice spoke up. (So are you! Youre hurting too! You tried letting the wolf, that didnt do anything, you tried drinking too much, that didnt work either...) He moved closer to Lana, traced a line down her right arm.  
  
Lana let out a long breath, pushed herself up a little, leant forward and kissed Lupin softly, and she felt his hands wandering up her arms and across her shoulders, going down her chest, and she kissed him harder, grabbing his shirt and pulling him closer to her.  
  
Lupin felt the heat between them, when really he knew there was no heat.  
  
Lana was wishing it was Sirius, not Lupin.  
  
They both broke away at the same time.  
  
"I cant - Oh God Im sorry" they both said, then laughed.  
  
Lupin stood up and kissed Lana on the forehead, and disapparated with a soft pop.  
  
Lana shut her eyes and flopped back onto the couch. (That, was such a bad idea.) Lana didnt have time, energy, or enough emotion to feel guilty. It was just a kiss. One that she would rather be Sirius, but still. All she could think, now that she was sobering up, was about Sirius. His hair, his eyes, his smile, his voice, his touch...  
  
Lana felt all the emotion boil up inside her, and the alcohol...(oh fuck). Lana felt her stomach churn, and she knew it had very little to do with the alcohol she had drunk when she leaned forward and vomited on to the floor.  
  
Lana wiped at the back of her mouth and muttered "scourgify" and it disappeared. Lana threw her wand down and pushed her hair from her face, and was about to sit up, but paused.  
  
A cold, draining chill came over Lana and her first thought was "Dementors." **************************************************************** A blur of images passed through Lanas mind, and she got very confused and disoreinted.  
  
(Occlumency?...) Lana thought, the only clear thought she could form as images passed in front of her eyes, her and Sirius at school, at the Orders HQ, at his Mothers, that bitch screaming, Lestrange laughing, Voldemort, Lana being flung across a room, and then....  
  
Nothing.  
  
Lana felt incredibly dizzy, and she pushed her hair from her face and looked up.  
  
Blackness. ~*~*~*~*~*~THE GHOST ROADS~*~*~*~*~*~ "NO!" was Lanas first response, she would not stay here again, they would not take her. She looked around, and the sensation that she was under water, floating, swimming, disappeared and Lana felt like she was wet. Dripping wet.  
  
She looked down and saw she was now wearing a long red dress, tight, but kinda floaty too. Lana could feel something solid under her feet, but just what, she didnt know. (Stay put) she told herself.  
  
Lana looked around in the blackness, and she heard footsteps echoing towards her. Lana, for a fleeting second, felt terrified, and then as it subsided, she began to recognise the sound of the footsteps and the outline of the person who was walking towards her.  
  
Lanas heart felt like it had fell out of her chest and that she was going to vomit again as the person got closer and she recognised who it was. Lana started trembling so violently she thought she was going to fall over. Her mouth had gone dry.  
  
A little shred of light fell over the darkness and illuminated his face. At first, his face was as it was when he got out of Azkaban. Sunken, hollow, pale. Then to how it was just before he died. Full, full of life, eyes blazing, loving the battle.  
  
Sirius face radically changed to the young, handsome, athletic young man he had been when he went to Azkaban.  
  
Lana couldnt stop the tears falling, and she wasnt about to try. She bit down on her lip hard, trembling harder as he walked over and stood about 6 inches in front of her.  
  
He stood about 3 inches taller than Lana, his dark brown hair falling in his eyes with that same casual elegance. He reached out his hand and wiped Lanas tears, his own falling and looking glassy.  
  
"What - what is this?" she asked, putting her hand over his.  
  
"The Ghost Roads." Sirius said simply, and Lana cried harder as she heard his voice.  
  
"Wh - why am - i dont - " she stuttered, so happy yet incredibly sad, she couldnt get her words out, and Lana was extremely confused.  
  
"Dont worry, youre not dead." he said.  
  
"I wish I was. Then Id be with you." she said, shrugging a little.  
  
"I dont have a lot of time. Can you focus?" he asked sharply, looking around into the blackness.  
  
"Er, yeah." Lana said, looking up at him.  
  
Sirius leaned in closer to Lana, and looked her right in the eye. "I cant explain everything, mainly because Im not so fucking sure myself." he told Lana. "This is...A limbo if you will. But its not Limbo. Theres different rules, although Im not sure why and what those rules are. But I do know that youre here because I brought you here."  
  
"Why? To torture me even more?" Lana said sharply, suddenly angry.  
  
Sirius expression on his face changed, and he looked like Lana had just slapped him. He grabbed her by the upper arms and pulled her to him, their bodies touching. "You dont think its Hell for me either? At least you know where you are, the rules of the physical world." he said, snapping, and as he saw the the frightened and confused expression on Lanas face.  
  
"I dont know anything any more." she whispered. "Except that I love you. I love you so much, it hurts to breathe, knowing that youre not there with me."  
  
"Lana..." Sirius was fighing an internal battle, and losing. He wanted so much to use this time to just kiss and hold Lana, but if the Beast found her with him...Or him with her, hed be in so much trouble. He brought her here to warn her about something, and he didnt know when hed be able to bring her here again. Maybe never. It was draining him just concentrating on what he had to tell her.  
  
"I love you too. So much, I didnt want to leave, Im just glad I didnt have to listen to you screaming for me like Harry." his voice broke, and he choked. "Harry was there. I fell through, and all I could hear was Harry screaming my name, over and over, to come back, for someone to help me - " he cut off, now not able to speak.  
  
Lana was sobbing, and wrapped her arms around him, pulling her body closer to his, nuzzling her face into his neck. "Oh God." she said. "Why am I even here? Where is here? What is it?"  
  
Sirius pushed Lana away. "You have to find it, Lana. You have to find it."  
  
Lana was extremely confused. "Find what?"  
  
"Protect Harry. Find it."  
  
"I will protect Harry, I promised you,Lily and James that I would.Find what?" she asked again.  
  
"The old house. Its in there. Find it before its too late." Sirius said, in a rush.  
  
"Stop being bloody cryptic! Find what?"  
  
Sirius looked around, suddenly fearful. "You have to go." He kissed Lana briefly, then faded, leaving Lana on her own.  
  
"GO WHERE!?! SIRIUS! SIRIUS!" she shouted, then the feeling of water, came, of floating, of wetness, and then....  
  
BAMN.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ 4 PRIVET DRIVE~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Harry woke up and sluggishly moved his hand to shade his eyes from the sun. It stung his eyes and his head was throbbing madly.  
  
"Ughhhhh" he moaned, his stomach turning. He rolled over and fell out of bed with a loud crash, just managing to grab his glasses before he smashed them to bits.  
  
Harry stood up slowly and looked in the mirror. He noted to himself that he looked as bad as he felt. His brilliant green eyes looked a little dull, and he squinted, putting his glasses back on. His stomach lurched and he ran for the bathroom. Harry leaned over the toilet and vomited. He flushed the toilet, wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand and stood up slowly.  
  
He held his stomach and walked over to the sink, pouted himself a glass of water. He walked over to the door and locked it. He sank down slowly against the door. Sipping the water, he sighed, hoping the Dursleys hadnt heard all the banging. Half of the night was total blur. He could remember about...3 clubs, lots of flashing lights, people dancing, the loud music, the girls...And the alcohol. Shot glasses lined up, 1,2,3,4,5, and 6, being filled up with vodka, whisky, Archers, Martini, Bacardi, and something called...Absinthe. Lana told him it was, technically, a little bit illegal...Shot after shot, burning his throat and leaving different tastes in his mouth. And Lana...  
  
Oh Lana. Harry had an inkling she wasnt who she said she was, for a pure- blood, she seemed to know waaaaay to much about the Muggle world. Harry presumed she was a pure-blood. In one bar, Coyote something, she had downed several shots, one after the other, slamming the glasses back down, before being pulled up onto the bar by two of the girls who worked there. The way the three of them danced reminded Harry of a music video that Dudley loved watching, Britney Spears, Slave 4 U, to which Dudley would shout rude comments to.  
  
Harry had never met anyone like Lana before. He just couldnt figure her out. At first, she seemed a little uptight, like Hermione, and treating him like a child, by refusing to talk about Hogwarts etc. Harry felt a connection with her though, and it was obvious to him that she was in a great deal of pain. The look in her eyes when he asked her about Sirius, the flicker....That he, Harry felt. Lana suprised him by the way she spoke about Voldemort, so bitter, so full of hate and anger. That suprised him. People around his age usually said it with a trembling, afraid voice. Voldemort probably killed someone she loved. A lot of that going around, Harry thought.  
  
Harry was more than a little apprehensive about going out somewhere with someone hed only just met, but he couldnt help but trust Lana. Like Dumbledore. Harry felt angry, and his temper was getting harder and harder to control, and Harry had snapped at Lana plenty of times, but she just took it. Shed just nodded or looked away, a look of guilt on her face.  
  
After Harry had knocked back a few shots, he noticed it was good for killing the pain of Sirius' loss. Lana had said that. "Great for numbing the pain, this stuff Harry." With that, and the music, and the lights, and the dancing, and the energy, it was just..amazing. Lana turned into a totally different person. Loose, and wild, and free...Harry felt himself loosening up totally when Lana had climbed into the DJs box and started singing. He had the feeling it wouldnt be the last time he drank in the Muggle world. In fact...  
  
Harry finished off his water, stood up and started brushing his teeth.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~HALF AN HOUR LATER~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Harry wandered downstairs, to find the Dursleys had left him a note.  
  
"We have gone out. Do not touch any of our belongings, do not steal food from the fridge, do not leave the house. We have locked the door. Dont have any of your freak people in the house."  
  
Harry rolled his eyes and tore the note up, angrily and slammed it into the bin. He kicked the bin, and walked straight over to the fridge.  
  
"Think they can tell me what to do...Stupid fucks." Harry muttered to himself. He thought of the Dursleys as just a place where that magical protection his mother had given him could be restored, or whatever it was Dumledore said.  
  
It was 1 week into the holidays, and Harry had been so pre-occupied thinking of a way to get into Knockturn Alley to get some books, and Sirius, he hadnt noticed his 16th birthday. Only when Hedwig and a few other owls had rapped on his window had he noticed. Nothing from Sirius, of course, and this had sent Harry into a rage. He had thrown one of his school books at his mirror shattering it, making Vernon shake with anger, but he soon shut up shouting at Harry when Moody apparated into his room, telling Vernon to lower his voice and fixing the mirror. Harry smiled smugly as Vernon was forced to be nice.  
  
Harry looked around the fridge, wondering what he could eat. Fuck if he was obeying the Dursleys. He settled for a ham and cheese salad sandwich. He couldnt use the oven, didnt know how.  
  
Harry stood in the kitchen, looking out of the window for Hedwig. He had sent Hedwig to Lupins, and that was yesterday. He wanted Hedwig back, Harry just had to tell Ron about last night. And Hermione, of course.  
  
Just as Harry finished his sandwich and looked around the cupboards for some crisps and something to drink, Hedwig flew through the window with a letter attached to her leg. She landed on Harrys shoulder and nipped his fingers as he untied the letter. Wasnt very long, but Harry was used to being told a big fat NOTHING.  
  
Harry unwrapped the letter.  
  
"Hello Harry." Lupin wrote. "I hear youve met Lana." (Harry frowned...was it Lupin who he heard shouting at Lana last night? He couldnt remember who it was, or what was said.) "In case youre wondering why Lanas living on Privet Drive, yes, it is extra security for you, but also for Lana. Voldemort has an eye for talent, and Lana cerainly has it. This way we can watch you both. Hope you had fun last night, and arent too ill. Youre both extremely lucky that it was me on guard, and not Moody or Kingsely. You both would have been in serious trouble." (Psh, Harry thought, Trouble? I seem to bloody attract it anyway. His temper was rising.) "Ron and Hermione arrived at the Orders HQ last night. Dont worry, you shall be with us as soon as it is safe. To answer your question as to what the Order is doing, I cannot tell you everything, you know that. As for the Malfoys...They are being watched. And Dumbledore TRUSTS Snape." (Like thats good enough for you, Harry thought. You hated him as much as my dad and Sirius did...As much as I do for goading Sirius about being a coward. If he hadnt said that, Sirius wouldnt have come that night and Sirius would be alive.) "Be careful. Lupin."  
  
Harry felt his temper rising again, and he screwed the letter up into a ball in his fist.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~LANAS PLACE~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana woke up on the couch, her hair muzzed up, wearing last nights clothes. She frowned, remembering what Sirius had said to her. "Find it." Did she dream it? Did he pull her astral self into what he called "The Ghost Roads"? or was it a trick similar to the one Voldemort had played on Harry last year, luring him out with Sirius...  
  
A tear fell down Lanas face as she remembered every little detail of the dream - or whatever it was. His voice, his touch, his eyes - Did he have any idea of just how much harder he had made it for her?  
  
Lana felt someones presence in the room before she even turned around.  
  
"Moony?" she asked.  
  
"You wish." drawled a cold voice.  
  
"You were watching me sleep? How very serial killer of you." Lana said coldy. "But then, you are."  
  
"And you, Lana, are a mass murderer." Lucius was sat in a chair opposite Lana on the couch, wearing emerald green robes his sleek blonde hair tucked behind his ears. Behind Lucius, to his right, was Crabbe, to his left Goyle.  
  
"No, I killed 4 Death Eaters at once. Hardly mass." she said, raising an eyebrow at Crabbe and Goyle. "Whats with the monkeys?"  
  
Lucius stared at her, his cold blue eyes baring into her dark brown ones.  
  
Lana sniffed, trying to act all casual and cool, not bothered, but at the same time was trying to protect her mind, she could feel someone trying to get in. Lana threw up images of flowers and fields, but after 2 minutes, it was getting hard.  
  
"So who died and made you my newest stalker?" Lana asked sarcastically, squinting her eyes a little from the strain.  
  
"I believe a certain Mr Sirius Black died."  
  
"Oh, and his very last words happend to be - 'Lucius, please stalk my girlfriend' " she said, again, full of sarcasm.  
  
"Oh no. His last words, if youre intrested, actually, were - 'come on, you can do better than that'," Lucius sneered, expecting Lana to cry.  
  
She smiled. "Arrogant, proud, cocky and eager for battle, right till the end." Lana said to herself fondly.  
  
"Pity you werent there to save his ass like you were the first time..."  
  
Lana stood up and walked towards Lucius, and Crabbe and Goyle made to curse Lana, but Lucius held his hand up.  
  
"You suprise me Lana. I thought you would have some kind of barrier spell on your house. You know, to stop people just...appearing. Someone could kill you in your sleep." he said softly, but full of menace.  
  
Instead of going towards Lucius, she turned to her right and flicked the TV off. "Ive got all the protection I need right here." she said, indicating herself.  
  
"Quite. A little Firestarter arent you? And so much more than that..." he stood up and walked over.  
  
"No closer." Lana said, when Lucius got within 5 foot of her, keeping her eyes locked on his.  
  
"Okay." he said, and stopped.  
  
"Give me your wand." she said, keeping her eyes locked on his, eyes tearing up from the effort of throwing images up and trying to 'push' Lucius.  
  
Lucius began to hand his wand over to Lana, but a gruff voice said "accio wand" and the wand flew into Crabbes hand.  
  
Lana laughed to herself, amused.  
  
Lucius suddenly blinked, the glassy look over his eyes disappearing. He looked around. "Wheres my wand?" Crabbe threw it to him. He caught it and pointed it at Lanas chest. "What did you just do?" he asked, taking a step towards her.  
  
Lana only stopped laughing and raised her eyebrows in response. "Just a little something I learned while I was away." she said, then ran a hand through her hair. "Now are you gonna get to some kind of point?"  
  
Lucius lip curled. "The Dark Lord - "  
  
Lana stepped to the side, mocked a yawn. "Already Im bored."  
  
Lucius narrowed his eyes. "I wonder...Do you know how Sirius died?"  
  
Lana stopped walking, turned around, and said, voice full of venom. "You mention his name again, and youre pretty little wife wont be."  
  
Lucius was confused. He looked to Crabbe and Goyle, who wore bemused expressions almost permanently. "What?"  
  
"Pretty, that is." Lana said slowly, a little smirk playing on her face.  
  
Lucius knew perfectly well what Lana was capable of. He had seen it. Hell, hed been on the receiving end of it. She was as warped as Lestrange when it came to torturing people. He couldnt figure out why she hadnt gone to the Dark Side. All the pain, anger...Enough to turn anyone.  
  
"Question is..." Lucius said slowly, pretending to think. "Was he dead before or after he fell through the Veil?"  
  
Lana was pissed now, and thank fuck that whoever it was had stopped using Legilmens on her. "How the FUCK is that relevant?" she said. "I dont know what kind of game youre playing here Lucius, but youre not gonna win. Do you know why?" she asked. "Because if I lose...and I hate losing...Youre gonna wish youd let me win."  
  
"You wont kill me."  
  
"And why not?"  
  
"Because Ive been inside you." he said, eyes flashing, smirking.  
  
Lana thought she was gonna throw up. "Dont remind me. And while youre at it, dont fucking flatter yourself. It happened once."  
  
"Twice."  
  
"What - fucking - ever."  
  
"We have a connection, whether you like it or not."  
  
"The only thing that Im gonna connect with you again is my fist to your face, you son of a bitch"  
  
"OOooooooo" Lucius sneered, Crabbe and Goyle laughed.  
  
"Oh I forgot, violence is like 3rd base for you." Lana sneered back. "Now get the fuck out of my house."  
  
"I think not." came a cold, sharp voice and a man with lank, greasy black hair with a hook nose swept into the room, wearing robes of black.  
  
Lana burst out laughing. "Snivellus....Oh my god....Look at you Snivy!"  
  
"Shut up." Snape said, flicking a jet of red light at Lana, and it silenced her voice.  
  
OH FUCK! Lana thought. So NOT expecting that. What the fuck is he doing anyway? Thought he was OUR spy, not THIER spy? Oooo Im so glad hes still a Death Eater...I can enjoy killing him later. Lupin'll be glad too. Hates him. But for now...How the hell do I get this curse off me?  
  
"Youre going to stop shooting your mouth off, you arrogant little bitch." Snape spat, wand still pointed at Lana, and he nodded to Lucius who nodded back and took a few steps back. "Youre going to listen to me, listen to me like you never listened to anyone before." Lana raised her eyebrows. "Killing Sirius was just the begining. Wasnt planned, but still....Getting that arrogant twat out of the way was a step in the Dark Lords plans."  
  
Lana didnt know what to think or feel. Snape was here, acting all Death Eater. And he was taking the piss out of Sirius. She felt a burst of rage coming through, and flung herself at Snape, knocking him to the floor. Crabbe and Goyle shot spells at Lana, but she was ready and deflected them with one hand, whilst punching Snape with the other.  
  
Lucius stopped Grabbe and Goyle, and grabbed Lana by the arms, pulling her away from him. Lana kicked Lucius, and he let go. Snape stood up, bleeding from his mouth.  
  
"Lets go." Snape said, and Lucius, Grabbe and Goyle turned around. Snape flicked his wand at Lana when the others werent looking, undoing the curse.  
  
Lucius paused, turned around.  
  
"Have a good time last night Lana? Harrys quite the little drinker, isnt he? Quite the little dancer arent you? Draco and I found it so very amusing." he said cooly, and the 4 of them disapparated. 


	23. Appearances pt2:Friend or Foe?

(NOTE: again, updating as I write more! sorry, I should have said this earlier!)  
  
Lana paused for a moment, wondering what Lucius meant...and then it clicked. Because Harry had been with Lana, the Order had dropped the security. And Lana, being drunk...Didnt sense Lucius and fuck knows how many other Death Eaters in the club..  
  
"OH FUCK" Lana shouted, not stopping to brush her hair or even put shoes on, she ran out of the front door and started sprinting to Harrys house.  
  
"Owowowowwwwww fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck" Lana said, as she stamped on some broken glass. She stopped, yanked it out, sending a spurt of blood, and carried on running, albeit with a pronounced limp.  
  
Her hair was sticking up, her clothes from last night rumpled, her foot killing her, her wand gripped tightly in her hand, Lana finally reached Harrys, grateful she lived so close to him, and ran full pelt up his drive, banging the door open with magic.  
  
The sudden crash of the door opening made Vernon jump from the couch and go stampeding into the kitchen.  
  
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?" he roared  
  
"Wheres Harry?" Lana asked, getting her breath back  
  
"YOURE ONE OF THEM! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! YOURE PAYING FOR THAT DOOR!"  
  
"Temper temper" Lana said sarcastically, but she didnt really have time to be sarcastic.  
  
Petunia stepped out from behind Vernon. "Shush Vernon" she said, holding onto his arm.  
  
"I know you probably wont grab the concept of this, but theres been Death Eaters around here, and - " Lana stopped, gawping at Petunia, who gawped back.  
  
"Lana Madison..." Petunia said, pursing her lips. Then she stopped and her face melted into the expression of someone very afraid. "Death Eaters?" she said with a trembling voice.  
  
For the first time ever, like Harry had last year, Lana fully appreciated that Petunia was Lilys sister. Nothing like Lily, of course...Lily was everything Petunia wished she was.  
  
"YOU KNOW THIS FREAK?!" Vernon roared.  
  
"Lily used to have...her freak friends around to the house. When we were younger." Petunia dropped her gaze from Lana.  
  
Yes you would, Lana thought...I was the only one who didnt curse you at least once for being a fucking bitch. "I need Harry now. Where is he?" Lana was starting to lose her temper, her Godson, the very last way she could make things up to Lily and James and Sirius for not being there, could be, was, in danger.  
  
Dudley and Polkiss walked in through ther blasted doorframe.  
  
"Hey its Potters girlfriend." Polkiss said. "Hey babe"  
  
"FUCK YOU" Lana shouted.  
  
Petunia said in a quiet voice "Youre too old for Harry. I thought you and Sirius were -"  
  
"Sirius is dead. And Im not Pot - Harrys girlfriend."  
  
"YOU WERE THAT MURDERERS - " but Lana muttered "Petrificus Totallus" and Vernon went stiff as bored and toppled to the floor.  
  
Petunia shrieked and bent down over Vernon. Dudley and Polkiss went white and backed away, Dudley grabbing his arse like Lana would curse him.  
  
But what Lana saw made her lost for words. Harry was there, stood at the bottom of the stairs. From the look on his face, he had heard everything. Lana didnt have time to deal with that, so she ran over to Harry, grabbed his arm and dragged him outside.  
  
Harry was so angry, "YOU - YOU - LIED TO ME! YOU - YOU KNEW MY PARENTS! AND YOU - YOU AND SIRIUS! WHAT DID SHE MEAN?! WHAT ELSE ARENT YOU TELLING ME!" Harry roared, yanking his arm away from Lana.  
  
"Theyre are Death Eaters here."  
  
"NO THERE ISNT! I HAVE A GUARD!"  
  
"YES AND THATS ME! AND THERE ARE DEATH EATERS HERE, NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET YOUR WAND!"  
  
Harry went white and trembling as he whipped his wand out.  
  
"Lumos" Lana muttered, and stuck her wand out.  
  
"OH YEAH VERY EFFECTIVE!" Harry shouted sarcastically.  
  
"Yes it was...Now step back"  
  
The Knight Bus burst onto Privet Drive, and the door burst open.  
  
"'Ere look, its that 'Arry Potter again."  
  
Lana shoved Harry onto the bus, and shoved a pouch of gold at Stan, "Take him to Diagon Alley"  
  
"WHAT THE FUCK! NO!" Harry said, trying to push back past Lana.  
  
"Remember what happened last time you tried playing the Hero, Harry?" Lana asked icily.  
  
Harry paused, feeling his temper, if possible, getting higher, and he flung his wand at Lana, but the spell just dissolved as it hit her.  
  
"Oh Harry, I didnt mean, I didnt mean it like it was your fault. Im sorry. Harry, I didnt mean - " she said, as she saw Harrys tears falling and his face getting red from the anger.  
  
Harry kicked the door of the Knight Bus, and Stan and Ern were too afraid of Lana to say anything.  
  
"GO!" Lana said, slamming the door shut. The Knight Bus disappeared with a bang.  
  
Lana stood there, oblivious to Petunia screaming at her "to undo what shes done" and closed her eyes.  
  
Lana breathed in and out slowly, trying to forget what shed just said to Harry, what Harry had found out...True, they had taught her how to do this, and she wasnt sure if it was trustworthy or not....But Lana had to try. She flicked through the minds of the people living around the area, but it wasnt their minds....Lana was reading their auras...But quickly. Wizards and Witches gave off different colours, different frequencies...  
  
And there were none. Lana opened her eyes. She turned to Vernon and said the counter curse. No doubt Ministry people would be there soon to fix it. Lana knew she should feel stupid, grabbing Harry like that, but she would not let him be harmed, not after everything that everyone had sacrificed for him.  
  
Lana sighed and disapparated with a loud crack.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~DIAGON ALLEY - THE THREE BROOMSTICKS - 10 MINUTES LATER~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
By the time Lana had packed Harrys things, and the stuff of hers that shed managed to get from Sirius and hers old house before she got too upset and had to leave, a very pissed off Harry had already alerted the Order.  
  
Lupin was stood outside the Three Broomsticks waiting for Lana.  
  
In her rush, Lana had managed to get changed into a pair of red jogging bottoms (think the new flarey sort that are in ever New Look ...:P) and a tight white Fred Perry t-shirt...Not that the name meant anything to the Magical World. She had tied her hair up into a loose bun, with bits falling down, and had flung 2 bags over her shoulder.  
  
Lupin was nervous, after last nights kiss, he wasnt sure what Lanas reaction would be. Would she be pissed? Want more? Have forgotten all about it, or act like it never happened? He had no idea. He jumped as Lana Apparated next to him with a very loud crack.  
  
"Bloody hell woman!" he said, hearing James' words come out of his mouth.  
  
"Sorry...Better work on that later." she muttered, her insides squirming uncomfortably as she looked at Lupin. Lana still felt close to him, but now...I 


	24. Appearances pt2:Friend or Foe? note at t...

(NOTE : I would like to apologise to everyone who has been reviewing only to find them deleted. I have not done this!! Ive just discovered that if you review a chapter, and then I update it...Your review gets deleted. I didnt know about this, so what Im going to do from now on is not put the chapter up until it is complete. This is still Chapter 23 - Appearances pt2 : Friend or Foe But I didnt want to update the chapter and delete (inadverntently) all of youre lovely reviews! Apologies all round! Sorry!)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~DIAGON ALLEY - THE LEAKY CAULDRON - 10 MINUTES LATER~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
By the time Lana had packed Harrys things, and the stuff of hers that shed managed to get from Sirius and hers old house before she got too upset and had to leave, a very pissed off Harry had already alerted the Order.  
  
Lupin was stood outside the Leaky Cauldron waiting for Lana.  
  
In her rush, Lana had managed to get changed into a pair of red jogging bottoms (think the new flarey sort that are in ever New Look ...:P) and a tight white Fred Perry t-shirt...Not that the name meant anything to the Magical World. She had tied her hair up into a loose bun, with bits falling down, and had flung 2 bags over her shoulder.  
  
Lupin was nervous, after last nights kiss, he wasnt sure what Lanas reaction would be. Would she be pissed? Want more? Have forgotten all about it, or act like it never happened? He had no idea. He jumped as Lana Apparated next to him with a very loud crack.  
  
"Bloody hell woman!" he said, hearing James' words come out of his mouth.  
  
"Sorry...Better work on that later." she muttered, her insides squirming uncomfortably as she looked at Lupin. Lana still felt close to him, but now...It was different. And she knew why - Theyd kiss. But she could either let it ruin their great friendship, or she could forget it ever happened. She prefered the latter.  
  
They stared at each other for a second, before Lupin took one of Lanas bags. "Let me carry that" he said, slinging it over his shoulder.  
  
"You think I over-reacted?" Lana asked, thinking that this moment outside the Leaky Cauldron was the quietest she was going to have for a while...The Minstry will probably be on her case...But never mind. She can handle them.  
  
"I dont know. Harrys in quite a state. Cant make much out of his rantings. What did you say to him?" Lupin asked, half furious with Lana for upsetting Harry, half - well he didnt know.  
  
Lanas eyes teared up and she put her hand over her mouth. She slowly moved it away. "I asked him...If he remembered what happened the last time he tried to play hero..." she trailed off, tears falling. "I didnt mean it to - to sound like it did. Like I blamed Harry. I dont. I - " Lana wiped her eyes, and wasnt sure if she wanted Lupin to hug her or not. Just as he wasnt sure whether he wanted to hug her or not.  
  
He got the feeling Lana wasnt telling him everything. "We've got a private room. Mrs Weasleys here, along with Bill and Charlie. Moody, Tonks and Dumbledore are on their way."  
  
Lana nodded and tried to make herself look presentable, but her eyes were red. And she had a thumping headache from scanning the area, and it was getting worse. They walked inside and Lupin steered her past the crowds and into the back room.  
  
Harry was kicking things around the room, and when he saw Lana walk in, this pissed him off even more and he flew at her, wanting to hurt her as much as she had hurt him by suggesting it was his fault that Sirius died.  
  
Charlie Weasley saw this, and, having working with Dragons, he had quick reflexes. He grabbed Harry by the arms and struggled to restrain him.  
  
"Harry - " Charlie grabbed at him, trying not to hit Harry.  
  
"YOU BITCH! YOU BITCH! HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO ME?! WHERE WERE YOU WHEN SIRIUS DIED? WHERE? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU ANYWAY? WHAT WAS MY AUNT TALKING ABOUT? YOU AND SIRIUS? YOU AND MY MOTHER! YOU BITCH! YOU JUST - HOW COULD - YOU DONT - " Harry was so angry he could barely form words, and Lana got the feeling hed been like this since they arrived.  
  
Lana was trembling, she knew shed told Harry too much, or rather, she hadnt told him enough. Her dark brown eyes looked from Harry to Mrs Weasley to Charlie to Bill to Lupin and back to Harry.  
  
"Harry - Harry listen to me - " Lana started to say  
  
"YOU WERENT THERE! YOU DONT KNOW! YOU DONT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED! YOU DIDNT SEE HIM DIE! YOU - "  
  
"Yes and Sirius said hes glad I wasnt there!"  
  
Harry stopped struggling and stared.  
  
"What do you mean, he said?" Lupin asked, looking at Lana.  
  
"I knew it!" shrieked Mrs Weasley "Shes been using Dark Magic! Shes a Death Eater, a spy for You-Know-Who!"  
  
"Oh dont be so bloody stupid Molly" Lupin said, rubbing his temples.  
  
Lana stared at her, incredulous. "There is only one thing I hate more than the Dark Arts, Molly." she told her, struggling to keep her voice steady. "And thats me." she added, quietly, a tear falling, and Lana wiped at it quickly. She was shaking.  
  
"I think we should all sit down." Bill said from the corner, and Lana turned to look at him, and, despite herself, found herself grinning. His earring fang, his long hair..She was glad to see Mrs Weasleys uptightness hadnt affected all her children.  
  
Bill grinned back, amused that Lana found him so amusing...Good looking, he thought. Bill flicked his wand and some more chairs appeared. Lana took the one at the end of the table, distancing herself from everyone. Lupin took one to Lanas right, a few chairs down, Harry sat to Lanas left, close to her. Mrs Weasley sat beside Harry, and Charlie sat between Lupin and Bill. They all looked expectantly at Lana.  
  
"What?!" she asked, leaning back on her chair.  
  
"You said you spoke to Sirius." Harry said, through gritted teeth, trying to keep calm, and it really wasnt working.  
  
Lana felt a lump in her throat, and she looked down. "I - I dont know."  
  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT KNOW?!" Harry shouted, slamming his fist down.  
  
Lana looked up. "Well Voldemort played mind games with you. Sirius was your biggest weakness; as you were his. As it turns out -" Lana took a deep breath. "Sirius is also, my biggest weakness."  
  
Lupin looked at Lana.  
  
Harry was confused. "HOW THE HELL CAN HE BE? YOU DIDNT EVEN KNOW HIM! YOURE NOT EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW HIM!"  
  
Lana chuckled.  
  
"No, hes right Lana." Charlie said, and Bill nodded.  
  
"No, hes really not." Lana said, looking from Harry and looking at Bill and Charlie. "Appearances can be decieving."  
  
"So you ARE a spy for You-Know-Who?" Molly asked.  
  
"Voldemort. And NO dammit woman, dont you bloody listen to a word Im saying?" Lana said.  
  
Harry kicked Lana under the table. Mrs Weasley had said she regarded him as a son, and he would not have anyone talk to her like that. Unless it was Sirius, and Sirius wasnt here, so...  
  
Lana felt it but pretended not to notice. However, her gaze travelled to Lupin.  
  
"I dont even know where to start." she said, shrugging.  
  
"YOU TOLD ME YOUD NEVER LIE TO ME!" Harry burst out.  
  
Lana turned to him, eyes strangely vacant. "But you asked the wrong questions Harry."  
  
Lupin noticed this and grabbed Lanas arm. "Lana?" he shook her a little, and she blinked a few times.  
  
"Sorry. That was me disconnecting my emotions."  
  
"You cant shut them out Lana. You know that." he said softly, hand still on her arm.  
  
"Did a pretty good job last night." she said, a slight laugh.  
  
"Its not good for you." he told her, looking at her.  
  
"But it hurts. It hurts so much."  
  
"I know."  
  
"YOURE HURTING?! HOW THE HELL DO YOU THINK I FEEL!" Harry burst out, again. "I SAW HIM DIE!"  
  
"Youre lucky. Youve only seen 2 people die." Lana said, voice wavering.  
  
"LUCKY?! ONLY?!" Harry shouted.  
  
"Yeah. Lucky. One you barely knew, one youd die for."  
  
"AND YOU THINK THATS A GOOD THING?!"  
  
"How insensitive are you?" Mrs Weasley asked, shocked.  
  
"I dont have the time nor patience to be 'sensitive'. Some things are hard to hear. And Im sorry, but thats just the way it is."  
  
"Can we just stop arguing and listen to what Lanas got to say?" Bill asked.  
  
"Shouldnt we wait for Dumbledore and the rest?" Charlie asked.  
  
Lupin shook his head. "Dumbledore knows. Moody knows. Tonks knows."  
  
"EVERYONE BUT ME AGAIN!" Harry shouted, slamming his hand down on the desk.  
  
"No, Harry. Theres a lot we cant explain. Lanas youth, what happened to her, where shes been...Nobody knows. Or if they do, theyre not telling. And thats just not funny." Lupin said, trying to lighten the mood and failing.  
  
"Um, I think I know where to start." Lana said, who was leaning forwards and had put her elbows on the table, and was resting her head on her hands, eyes fixed intently on Harry.  
  
"Personally, I want to know why Lana made such a fuss, used magic on a Muggle, scared the hell out of Harry and is now here." Mrs Weasley demanded.  
  
"I'm getting to that now Molly." Lana said quietly, but didnt take her eyes off Harry. "I have something to say first tho, to Harry."  
  
"I think Harry should leave. He doesnt need to hear about You-Know-Who and his Death Eaters." Molly said, looking to Lupin for support.  
  
"Harry stays." Lana said, moving her gaze to Molly.  
  
"What gives you the right?" Molly asked.  
  
"I have every right. And besides...Harry isnt a child, Molly. He's 16. He's seen and dealt with more than anyone could possibly imagine. If anyone here has the right to be here, its Harry."  
  
Mrs Weasley thought how very like Sirius she was. Again, she thought that Lana thought shed got her best friends back, like Sirius had.  
  
Harry gawped at Lana. He wasnt expecting her to defend him like that.  
  
"Thanks." he said.  
  
Lana managed a weak smile. "I just think you need to know everything. No secrets, no lies. No matter how much the truth hurts." she was in incredible emotional pain, and had the locket Sirius brought her on their first anniversary (1 year - at Hogwarts) in her right hand, and was twirling it around.  
  
Bill couldnt help thinking how intelligent she was.  
  
"Well how about you start by telling me why youve dragged us all here like this?" Molly demanded.  
  
Lana looked at Lupin. "Dont be mad with me. And please dont lecture me, I dont - I dont think I could handle it."  
  
Then she turned back to Harry, and barely taking her eyes off him, she told him that Lucius had been to the house, skimming slightly over details they really didnt know, but what she would tell Lupin and Dumbledore later. Lana ignored the gasps from Molly as Lana told her that Lucius had been to her house, and Lupin told Molly to be quiet as Lana told them that she took Harry out to the clubs anyway, even though Death Eaters had been around. She also skimmed over her and Lupin...and got straight into the Sirius "Ghost Roads" vision.  
  
Her voice was notably quieter and sounded full yet drained of emotion as she spoke. Again, she skimmed over the "i love you" parts, but told Harry how hard it was for Sirius to hear Harry screaming for him, and Sirius not being able to get back. Lana wasnt sure whether this helped or not, she expected the latter, but it had to be said. She told Lupin she had no idea what she was supposed to find.  
  
Harry felt himself crying as Lana spoke of Sirius, and buried his face in his hands. He couldnt believe Sirius had spoke to Lana. He couldnt believe that Sirius was, wandering some kind of Ghost Road, as Lana put it. It was destroying him. This made him more determined to find a way to contact Sirius. He hated himself that he had caused Sirius pain by shouting for him, but Harry needed him. He needed him so bad, sometimes it was hard to even get out of bed. Pathetic, he thought to himself. But nobody knew. How could anyone have any idea of the grief he was feeling? No parents, and his Godfather murdered in front of him, now some girl telling him shed spoken to him..  
  
Lana struggled to keep her composure.  
  
She swiftly moved onto Lucius, Crabbe and Goyle. She paused slightly.  
  
"Are you okay?" Lupin asked, looking concerned.  
  
"Im fine." she replied  
  
"No, I meant.."  
  
"Im alive arent I? Harrys alive..Thats good enough for me." she said stubbornly.  
  
"Why didnt they just kill you?" Charlie asked. "I cant figure it out. Why not just kill you?"  
  
"Because he cant." Lana said simply.  
  
"I think he can." Bill Weasley said.  
  
"No, he really cant." she repeated.  
  
"Oh youre so arrogant! Like Sirius, and look where - " Mrs Weasley began to rant, but as soon as she saw the looks on Harry and especially Lanas face, she stopped herself.  
  
Lana gripped the table so hard her knuckles were going white and as she spoke, she actually pulled a chunk of the wood out. "Im going to take that as a compliment. Being like Sirius." she said, with obvious restraint, and winced as the wood cut into her hand.  
  
At that moment, Dumbledore, Tonks and Moody walked in. Followed by - Snape.  
  
"I dont know if it was Sirius or not. Could have been Voldermort playing mind games with me." Lana said quietly. 


	25. Bonding Through the Past

"You were halfway through telling us what happened today..." Lupin edged her on. He noticed she skimmed over the kiss, and that she was obviously skimming over what Lucius said to her, it was very likely hed goad her about Sirius. And skimming over what Sirius had said. It was very obvious that Lana wasnt ready to talk about her relationship with Sirius in front of Harry, although he was betting that Ron and Hermione already knew.  
  
"Oh, yeah." Lana said, and Lupin could tell she was detatching herself from her emotions again, and after hed told her not to, he assumed she was practicing Occlumency. He was surpised Lana hadnt torn Mrs Weasleys head off.  
  
"Ah, Dumbledore, Moody, Tonks...Severus." Lupin said, the last name obviously with restraint.  
  
Lana spun around at the mention of Snapes name.  
  
"YOU!" Lana screamed, pushing her chair back and pointing her wand at Snapes chest, who moved his hand. "I WOULDNT MOVE IF I WAS YOU."  
  
Dumbledore spoke softly. "Lana..I trust Severus."  
  
"Yeah?" Lana sneered. "Well I bloody dont." And, not taking her eyes from Snape, she waved her wand and took a chunk of Snapes hair out, getting a huge laugh from Harry, despite the circumstances.  
  
Harry looked at Lana, who wasnt laughing, but on the brink of tears, and she was trembling.  
  
"Do you know what he said to me?" Lana asked, her voice barely above a whisper, and Harry noted that she had the same intense dislike in her eyes as Sirius had whenever he looked at Snape, but they were also flecked with a deep pain.  
  
Snape grabbed his wand quickly, there was a flash of blue light and Lanas robe spattered with blood from her face. Harry stood up and pointed his wand at Snape, as did Lupin and Moody.  
  
"Expelliarmus." Dumbledore said lazily, and their wands flew out of their hands and into Dumbledores.  
  
Lana only looked put off for a second. "Fine. I dont need a wand to hurt him." She raised her hand and Lupin grabbed it firmly in his and pulled it down.  
  
"Dont." he said quietly.  
  
Lana turned to him, a look of disbelief on her face. "You dont want me to kill him, or the very least put him in an extreme amount of pain? This worthless piece of shit gets to live and someone I loved with all my heart and soul is dead?" her brown eyes locked on his blue ones.  
  
Everyone in the room was looking intently at Lana and Lupin, who were obviously sharing some kind of moment. Harrys face changed as a few things slotted into place in his head.  
  
Blood was slowly trickling down Lanas face, but she paid it no heed. She yanked her hand away from Lupin and turned back to Snape.  
  
"Snivellus, I get that youre a double agent. But I still want to kill you. Dumbledore may think that youve reformed, but I really dont. I think you should pay for your past crimes." Lanas eyes narrowed dangerously, and Harry was happy to see that Snape was sweating, a sheen appearing on his forehead. His eyes were fixated on Lana, but he was obviously doing some quick thinking. "You better hope I dont get left alone with you...Or you dont turn your back on me, or even look at me in the wrong way...Cos..My hand just might..." she made a gesture that made him jump.. "slip"  
  
She stepped forwards, her breathing getting heavier, her icy exterior fading rapidly, and Harry noticed that she was crying, so did everyone else in the room.  
  
Dumbledore didnt move to stop Lana, because he knew that she wouldnt hurt him.  
  
Moody was glaring at Lana, with both eyes. Bill was still leaning back on his chair, surveying the scene with some amusement. Charlie was stood beside his mother, who looked worried. Tonks kept changing her nose, a sign of nervousness, (or amusing Hermione and Ginny). Harry and Lupins eyes were flipping from Lana to Snape.  
  
"You wouldnt dare." Snape taunted. "You never did anything without Sirius. I dont even know how youve coped these past 2 weeks without him."  
  
Lana let out a roar and flung herself at Snape, managing to land at least one punch on him before he pushed her away, and Lupin grabbed her around the waist, wrapping his arms tight around her and pulling her out of the way and off Snape.  
  
"ARGH! GET OFF ME!" Lana shouted, trying to smack at Lupin, rage over coming all of her senses, and Charlie had hold of Harry.  
  
Snape stood up, smoothing off his robes and wiping blood from his lip.  
  
Lana was still struggling against Lupin, fighting to get to Snape, "ILL FUCKING TEAR YOU UP YOU BASTARD" But shed stopped struggling as much and was now crying harder, barely able to get her words out.  
  
Harry was extremely confused. From what he could gather, Lana obviously loved Sirius deeply. But how she could, he didnt know. He didnt think Sirius would go for someone so young...But Snapes taunt about Sirius...Hed just ask Lana later.  
  
Everyone in the room watched the scene unfold, not knowing what to do or say.  
  
Lana stopped struggling and just kind of...Flopped. Her tears were flowing faster and she was still shouting at Snape. "DONT FUCKING TAUNT ME ABOUT SIRIUS! YOU DONT KNOW, YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING YOU PICE OF SHIT! ILL FUCKING KILL YOU, OH YOU JUST WAIT SNIVELLY YOU WENT TOOO FUCKING FAR WHEN YOU DECIDED TO PAY ME A VISIT, TOO FUCKING FAR! AND DONT EVER TRY AND GET IN MY MIND AGAIN YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH, DO YOU WANNA KNOW HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW? OH TOOO FAR"  
  
"I FU - I HA- I I - - " Lana stopped, unable to speak, and put her hands in fists and put them to the side of her head "arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" she said, voice full of pain. Lupin stopped pulling against her and just stood there, and caught her as her legs gave way, it hurt her too much to stand up, and he held her steady for a few seconds and she covered her face with her hands as she broke down again.  
  
Mrs Weasley couldnt believe it; the girl really was broken. On edge. Not stable.  
  
Nobody in the room had a blank expression on their face - it was either shock, pity, slight amusement, or hate. Harry was crying, and Lupin was looking dreadfully pained.  
  
Lana stopped, steadied herself on her feet and shoved Lupins hands away from her. Lana felt a cold shudder pass through her body, and for some reason, Sirius' presence. She looked at Harry, and as their eyes locked, she knew that he'd felt it too.  
  
She pointed at Snape, her voice shaking, her whole body trembling. "If I - find out - " she took deep breaths between speaking "that the thing - with Sirius - Ghost Roads - was anything - to do with - Voldemort - some kind of - trick - Ill kill you for it - "  
  
And with that, she snatched her wand from Dumbledore and walked from the room.  
  
Harry wasnt sure why, but he got up and followed Lana out of the room.  
  
Dumbledore looked around the room, and Moody spoke uncharacteristically softly.  
  
"Did Lana just say Sirius and Ghost Roads in the same sentence?"  
  
Dumbledore nodded.  
  
"Does this mean what I think it could mean?" Lupin asked.  
  
Dumbledore nodded, his face ashen. "It could mean one of a few things...Each as bad as the other."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~THE GHOST ROADS~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sirius spent most of his time confused as to where the hell he was at what the hell he was seeing. Past and present events, and the odd future event. Nothing important, he saw nothing to do with the people he knew and loved. For some reason, the things he seemed to be wandering in the middle of the most were Egyptian times. He knew where he was - The Ghost Roads.  
  
Dumbledore had mentioned them a few times, saying that there were 4 types of people and things wandering the Ghost Roads. People waiting for other loved ones to die; people being punished; "Angels"; and people who had died an "unnatural" death. The only one that meant you werent screwed was being an Angel, and Sirius knew he wasnt one, because the Angels mainly had blonde hair and green eyes, or red hair and green eyes. And besides, he often had no idea what the fuck he was doing.  
  
The times when he did see Lana and Harry were times when they were in great pain. He hated the thought that, he, Sirius, could cause so much pain in 2 of the people he cared most about in the world. It was hard for him, because although he was there, watching and hearing, he was on another plane of existence and therefore could make no contact with anyone in the room. He hated it. He was amused when Lana flung a punch at Snape, typical Lana, act now, ask questions never. Its what he loved about her. Harry was angry, and Sirius understood that. He was angry when Lily and James were betrayed by that little bastard Peter. Harry was sick of everyone molly coddling him, and it seemed now that Sirius was gone, he wouldnt get to know anything. But Sirius knew different. If he knew Lana, which he did, she would insist that Harry be told everything that was going on.  
  
"Shut up" Sirius muttered to the creepy 10 year old boy that seemed to follow him wherever he went in the Ghost Roads. He looked 10, but, as hed told Sirius, hed been travelling the Ghost Roads for about 300 years.  
  
"Touch her," the boy said to him as Lana broke down. "And Harry too. Go on."  
  
"Shut up! I cant and you bloody well know it." Sirius snapped.  
  
"Oh but I think you can." the boy said, folding his arms and looking at Sirius.  
  
"Fine. If itll get you to shut up." Sirius said, and he stepped through Harry, and felt the strangest shudder as he did. He stopped and bent down, looked at Harry. But Harry was looking right through him at Lana. Sirius followed his gaze and found that Lana was looking right at Harry, that they both had a strange expression on their faces and Sirius stood up and walked over to Lana.  
  
"Whats happening?" Sirius asked the boy, as he stood in front of Lana, and went to wipe her tears from her face but his hand just went straight through her face.  
  
"I told you that you could touch them." the boy said, in a sing-song voice that sent chills down Sirius spine.  
  
"I cant! Look," he said, stepping back so the boy could see his hand.  
  
"Yes you can...and you are" he said again.  
  
Sirius shook his head and frowned. "Why do you torment me?" he asked.  
  
"Im not tormenting you."  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes. Hed given up on trying to get a straight answer from the boy. Although he was extremely irritating at times, he had been the one whod taught him how to drag Lanas astral self to the portal in the Ghost Roads. It was just pure luck that theyd found it, the Portal moves through time and space extremely fast, and you have to be careful. Sirius had wanted to drag Harry there too, but the boy had explained that Harry wasnt experienced enough with the mental abilities that Wizards have if they ever need them. And with Lana spending 15 years on another plane of existence, she woukd be fine. Sirius couldnt figure out how it worked, but the boy had said "You dont have to understand. You just have to know. Somethings arent meant to be understood."  
  
After that, the scene had dissolved and Sirius found himself in the middle of a dense forest.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~THE LEAKY CAULDRON~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana stood outside in the summer afternoon, a Butterbeer in her hands. She was still trembling slightly and tears still flowed but silently. Shed felt Sirius presence and it had scared her. Diagon Alley was packed and Lana was thankful for that. Lana knew little to nothing about the Ghost Roads. After all, she wasnt dead, so how could she know?  
  
In front of her, she had her notebook.  
  
(*my immortal  
  
i'm so tired of being here  
  
suppressed by all of my childish fears  
  
and if you have to leave  
  
i wish that you would just leave  
  
because your presence still lingers here  
  
and it won't leave me alone  
  
these wounds won't seem to heal  
  
this pain is just too real  
  
there's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears  
  
and i've held your hand through all of these years  
  
but you still have all of me  
  
you used to captivate me  
  
by your resonating light  
  
but now i'm bound by the life you left behind  
  
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
  
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me  
  
these wounds won't seem to heal  
  
this pain is just too real  
  
there's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears  
  
and i've held your hand through all of these years  
  
but you still have all of me  
  
i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
  
and though you're still with me  
  
i've been alone all along*)  
  
Lana sat writing, shed been working on this for a few days. She wasnt sure if she meant what shed what shed written, but that was her feelings right now. Harry had come and sat opposite Lana about 10 minutes ago. Theyd sat in silence.  
  
Harry was bursting to either shout at Lana or hug her. But he had so many questions.  
  
Lana finally looked up and took a sip of her Butterbeer. She looked at Harry. "I guess youre pretty mad at me."  
  
"You think?" Harry sneered.  
  
"Id say sorry, but I know it wont make a difference to you."  
  
Harry stopped. It was true. "Youre right there. You said you wouldnt lie to me."  
  
"I also said that you asked the wrong questions, Harry. You never asked me anything directly." Lana corrected him. "So, technically, I didnt lie."  
  
"YES YOU DID!" Harry shouted, getting stares from everyone sat around them.  
  
"I said technically..." Lana said sheepishly, sipping her Butterbeer. "So do you have anything you want to ask me? And not something you know I cant answer."  
  
Harry stared at her. He had a lot of questions, mainly surrounding her and Sirius. Now he knew that Lana knew his parents, he had a lot of questions about them too. Mainly he wanted to know what happened the night they were murdered, but he knew he wasnt ready to hear that. Hed spent the last 10 minutes trying to think of a question that would give him some answers.  
  
"My dad hated Snape."  
  
Lana smiled. "Oh yeah."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Lana thought this over for a second. "Im not sure. They hated each other on sight. Jealous of James' talent. He was good at everything."  
  
"Lana, if that is your REAL name - "  
  
"It is." Lana understood Harrys rudeness, and anger, and just let him take it out on her.  
  
"I dont understand. I dont get what why you look about 18 yet you went to school with my parents. I dont get why you were so upset about Sirius. I dont get what there is between you and Lupin, cos theres obviously a connection. I dont get why you insist on me listening to everything, but thanks, Im sick of people molly coddling me, and I dont know why nobody challenged you when you said I could listen."  
  
"Woah woah Harry - stop right there." Lana said, head spinning. Her face was still bleeding a little but she didnt care. "I dont know why Im so young. I should actually be 36." Lana winced at the age. "Dumbledores working on it. Moony and I just good friends. I want you to listen to everything because you are not a child and you should know. I explained it back there."  
  
Harry was listenening closely. "You didnt mention you and Sirius."  
  
Lana eyes clouded over. "I - we were together. Since I was 14 and he was 16. Right till Voldemort murdered - " she stopped.  
  
"You and - you and Sirius?" Harry said, disbelieving.  
  
"Yeah. Me and Sirius." Lana said, sipping her Butterbeer.  
  
"Why werent you there when he got out of Azkaban then?" Harry asked, confused.  
  
"And why did he never mention you to me? Im his godson!"  
  
Lana shook her head. "I dont know. And I dont know."  
  
"You thought he was guilty?" he asked  
  
"No. I knew he wasnt." Lana said, voice bitter.  
  
"You knew?! Why didnt you try and get him freed?" Harry asked, angrily.  
  
"It wasnt that simple Harry."  
  
"Actually I think it is." Harry snapped.  
  
"No, its really not." Lana slammed her Butterbeer down. "To tell you everything would take me about 4 years. I told you." her voice softened. "Id never lie to you Harry."  
  
"Then why werent you there?"  
  
"I was in a coma. A magical kind - it was weird." Lana replied.  
  
Harry stared. He felt himself softening despite wanting to be really angry at her. If shed gone through half as much as Sirius and Lupin, she had to be feeling pretty messed up. And being in a coma for 15 years, coming out and finding out - well,. everything all at once had to be a shock to the system.  
  
"So...You went to school with them all then?" Harry asked, very curious.  
  
"Yeah..." she smiled to herself. "It was..."  
  
"What was my dad like at Quidditch?" Harry asked, wondering if he was as good as his father.  
  
"He was great. The best. But the bossiest and most stubborn captain ever. He used to work us so hard."  
  
"You played Qudditch?" Harry asked.  
  
"Yep. I was a Chaser. Sirius was a Beater."  
  
"SIRIUS played Quidditch?" he asked. "He never told me." Harrys head was swimming with all the information.  
  
"Well, he wouldnt." Lana said with a small smile. "He was kicked off the team in the last year by McGonagall."  
  
"Why?" Harry asked, moving his chair closer to Lana and feeling his spirits lift for the first time in weeks.  
  
"He, um, smacked a Bludger at Snape during a match." Lana said, hardly able to keep her face straight. "Knocked him out. Sirius swore it was an accident, but...McGonagall knew. Not very often Bludgers go flying into the crowd..."  
  
Harrys eyes widened and he laughed. "Really?"  
  
Lana nodded. "Listen, Harry...I dont know if you know, but your dad saved Snapes life once."  
  
"Oh, I know. Sirius told him to go through the tunnel under the Whomping Willow, cos Snape wanted to know where Lupin went every month."  
  
"Oh." Lana said. "Do you know why Sirius told him to do that?"  
  
"No." Harry was amazed. Hed never even asked why.  
  
"I could tell you...But its a long story. Id probably just bore you, reminscing of my long gone school days.." Lana said, knowing full well Harry wanted to know as much as she wanted to tell him.  
  
"I want to know! Tell me...Tell me about my dad, and you and Sirius, and my mum, and - " he said eagerly, really excited that he was finally going to get some knowledge of his parents. And he was really intrested in Lana and Sirius.  
  
(DISCLAIMER : Not my lyrics. Evanescence's.)  
  
(NOTE : After today, I wont be able to update for about 4 days because I have guests and I cant spend all day on the computer, that would be rude and ignorant. But a few chapters are flashback, and I write all my flashbacks on paper before I type them up and post them, so there will definately be an update on Tuesday sometime. Review all you lovely people!) 


	26. Enemies and Lovers

(NOTE : Lucius and Bella got out because the Dementors joined with Voldemort, freeing everyone from prison. Later on in this chapter, Lana obviously wouldnt tell Harry all the gory details about her & Sirius, she probably wouldnt mention it at all, however, for the purpose of the story, and the fact that Ive rated it R, so Im gonna give myself a reason to have rated it R!! And Lana probably wouldnt know the conversation between Christie and Lucius but still..ITS A STORY!! Ill update the chapter as I go along)  
  
"James Im letting the Snitch out" Lana shouted from the ground.  
  
"Yeah yeah" came James response. "Now get your ass up here!"  
  
"I know youll probably catch it within two minutes James, but just make sure that youre big head doesnt make you flal of of ya broom!" Lana mocked him, "Dont want you to injure yourself!" she grinned up at him and let the Snitch out.  
  
"Right, thats it Lana! I wont take your cheek any more! Get off my Quidditch team! You are SACKED!" he shouted, looping around the goals.  
  
"Well you cant sack me cos I QUIT!" came her reply, and she kicked off from the ground with the Quaffle in her arms.  
  
The rest of the Quidditch team were used to this banter between Lana and James. Frank Longbottom was Keeper, Sirius and Benjy Fenwick were the Beaters, Christie and Angelina Wood (whos daughter would later be Quidditch captain - Angelina Johnson) were the other two Chasers.  
  
Last year, Christie had knocked Lana off her broom more than once, and for James, the final straw had come when she knocked Lana off her broom during an extremely wet and windy match, breaking Lanas arm. He couldnt prove shed done it on purpose, and he couldnt find another Chaser to replace her anyway. It hadnt cost them the match, and theyd still won the Cup, but James was sick of her bitching. "I should be lead Chaser, Ive been on the team longer than Lana." Didnt matter to Christie that Lana was more talented than her. He hadnt mentioned it to anyone, but hed decided that if Christie did something during this training session, she would be kicked off the team, no questions asked, and screw what McGonagall said. James had noticed the talent of a second year and she was going to replace Christie if he kicked her off.  
  
Lupin, Lily and Peter were sat in the stand. Lily wasnt watching them train, shed seen them do it enough times, and she had an essay for Potions to finish. Peter, however, was watching and gawping at James in awe and kept making little cheering noises when he flew well. He let out a whoop as James started diving for the Snitch, and he caught it in his right hand.  
  
"Caught it in two minutes! You said it Lana! Lil did you see that?" he bragged. James ruffled his hair, not that it needed it.  
  
"Yeah babe - great." Lily shouted, not looking up from her essay.  
  
"That was really good Prongs!" Peter shouted.  
  
From the opposite end of the court, there was a loud crash as the Bludger Sirius had just whacked smashed through the stand. James let go of the Snitch and flew over.  
  
"Oops." Sirius said, and heard Lana shout "Vandal!" then laugh as she stoped Christie from scoring. Sirius took out his wand and muttered "Reparo."  
  
"Nice one Padfoot." James flew a little closer and whispered "Think you could aim it at Snivellys head when we play Slytherin?" a mischeivous grin appearing on both thier faces.  
  
Lana threw the Quaffle and scored past Frank easily, who had his eyes on Alice, who had just sat down next to Lily. Lana waited for Frank to fetch the Quaffle, but he didnt. Angelina grabbed it and threw it to Lana who had signalled for it. Lana threw it at Franks face, but missed because he caught it just before it hit him.  
  
"Nice reflexes. Now try using them when Im aiming for the - Are you even listening to me?!" Lana asked, following Franks gaze. "Ah."  
  
"Madison, nobody listens to you." Christie said as she sped past, taking the Quaffle from Frank.  
  
"Clearly you do." Lana snapped back, dodging a Bludger. Somewhere behind her, James caught the Snitch again.  
  
Angelina rolled her eyes at the two of them arguing and snatched the Quaffle from Christie and sped down to the other end of the pitch.  
  
"Oi!" Lana said, flying over to Frank. "Are we warming up - in the Quidditch sense - or not?"  
  
"Think shed go to the Christmas ball with me?" Frank asked, pointing to Alice.  
  
"Sure. Shes come to watch you train, like you asked her to."  
  
"And that means?" Frank asked.  
  
"She likes you. Girls who dont play Quidditch often dont get the importance of it. Wouldnt bother watching the Team play. But when a lad they like is on the team, well...I used to come all the time and stare at Sirius before I joined last year."  
  
Frank stared at Lana.  
  
"But not in a stalker kind of way or anything. " Lana added quickly, a little sheepish. "Just ask her."  
  
Lana smiled and flew after Christie, whod got the Quaffle from Angelina.  
  
"LANA WATCH IT!" Benjy shouted as the Bludger hed just hit spun around and hurtled itself towards Lana. He flew after it, but it smacked Lana in the stomach, flinging her backwards, and she just managed to bend her legs at the knee so she was swinging violently backwards and forwards. She hovered like that for a few seconds, before using her momentun to swing herself back up. Benjy managed to stop the Bludger flying back at her by smacking it in the opposite direction.  
  
"Sorry." he smiled at Lana apologetically.  
  
"No problem" Lana gasped, winded.  
  
"Good." Benjy slapping her on the back and speeding off.  
  
Lana held her stomach, sure she was bleeding internally.  
  
Christie was laughing and Angelina grabbed the Quaffle and threw it at Christies head.  
  
"Shut up you." Angelina turned to Lana "You okay?"  
  
"Fine." Lana managed to whisper, getting her breath back a little. She looked around to see Benjy and Sirius, about 60 foot above the ground, in the middle of the pitch were smacking Bludgers at each other and dodging them at the last minute.  
  
James flipped in mid-air, now upside down on his broom, speeding towards Lana. He flipped upright at the last second, grabbing the Snitch that was hovering at the side of Lanas ear. She let out a yelp of suprise and almost fell off her broom. James grinned.  
  
"You might wanna tie your hair up. We're gonna start training properly in about 15 minutes." he let the Snitch go and winked, flying off to the stands to talk to Lily.  
  
"More like slave driving..." she muttered.  
  
Lana pulled the bobble from around her wrist and let herself fall upside down. Hanging by her knees, she attempted to scrape her hair into a high ponytail. She almost managed to get the bobble around her hair for the 3rd time when Sirius flew over, his head level with her upside down one, making her jump. She dropped the bobble.  
  
"Sirius! You ass." she said, dropping a few feet to catch the bobble before it fell too far. She flicked herself back upright and glared up at Sirius, her hair a total mess.  
  
He laughed and leaned over to her, grabbed Lanas broom and pulled her over to him. "Look at you...All mussed up..." he said, ruffling her hair even more.  
  
Lana slapped his hands away, and he grabbed them and smiled, kissing her hands in turn. She giggled and leaned forwards, kissing him softly on the lips.  
  
"Wanna carry this on on actual ground?" Sirius asked, grinning.  
  
Lana smiled back and let go of Sirius, slid off her broom, grabbed it in her right hand and "dropped" the 60 feet to the floor, going fast and then landing softly. Sirius stared down at her and Lupin, who was watching from the stands, frowned. Lana waved shakily for Sirius to come down to her. He did.  
  
"What the HELL was THAT?!" Sirius asked, grabbing Lana a little roughly by the arms.  
  
"Well, umm, since last year when I..Did what ever I did when I fell and caught myself..Ive been..Practising." she said, not looking at him. "But it comes in handy..at least I wont get like...Maimed if I fall when were playing."  
  
"Thats NOT the point. You could have been hurt practising. And besides...I dont even think you should be doing it. You could have been hurt!" he said, loosening his grip on her arms and looking at Lana.  
  
"Well I wasnt. So stop with the worrying."  
  
"OI! PADFOOT!! GET OVER HERE!" James shouted.  
  
"GIMME A SEC!" Sirius shouted. He turned back to Lana and placed his hands on her waist, pulling her to him. "I love you." he said.  
  
"I love you too." Lana wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight.  
  
A few meters away, Christie made a gagging noise as she was walking across the pitch to none other than Lucius Malfoy, flanked by his cronies, Crabbe and Goyle.  
  
Lana turned around at this noise and looked at Christie, who had now caught up with Lucius, Crabbe and Goyle. "Whats she doing with them?" Lana asked Sirius, not taking her eyes off Christie, who had begun kissing Lucius. "Ohhhh."  
  
"Thats just..." Sirius began, but didnt finish.  
  
"Wrong." Lana finished for him.  
  
They walked over to the stand where James had the rest of the team, minus Christie.  
  
"From that warm up, Id say youve managed to keep yourselves busy over the summer. However..Frank. Stop looking at Alice and concentrate on the game." Frank flushed bright red. "Benjy, make sure you look where the players are BEFORE you hit the Bludger in their direction. Im already replacing one Chaser, I dont want to have to find another one. Lana, tie your hair up. And pay more attention to where the Keeper is. Dont get too cocky. Sirius - careful where your hitting the Bludgers" he said with a wink in Sirius direction. "They could hit someone. Angelina - I cant pick fault."  
  
"Um, your replacing a Chaser?" Angelina asked nervously.  
  
"Yeah." James said, looking around for Christie who was still kissing Lucius. "Well if she wasnt already off the team, shed be kicked off on principal."  
  
Lana laughed.  
  
"Dont know what youre laughing at." James said, grinning. "Ive just nominated you to go and tell her."  
  
"Fine. I can tell her on my way to a meeting with McGonagall."  
  
"Youre skipping practice?" Benjy asked.  
  
"Not skipping...Just..Not here."  
  
"EXCUSE ME?!" James said. "I dont think you have permission."  
  
Lana raised her eyebrows.  
  
"What are you in trouble for this time Lana?" Lupin asked.  
  
"Why do you always think Ive done something wrong?!" Lana asked, turning to him, mildly insulted.  
  
"Because you usually have." he said simply, smiling.  
  
"Well, you got me there." Lana said, smiling at him. "But, this time...I really didnt do anything."  
  
"But..But McGonagall KNOWS how important Quidditch is!" James said, outraged.  
  
"Yes and weve won 6 years straight since you joined baby." Lily pointed out.  
  
"I wanna make it a record 7!" James whined.  
  
"One practice isnt gonna make a difference Prongs." Lana told him.  
  
James looked at Lana.  
  
"You know you love me!" Lana said, pulling an innocent face. "Pwease!"  
  
"Fine. Go." he said, pointing to the gap inbetween the stands.  
  
"Thanks." Lana said. "Ill see you later." she said to Sirius, handing him her broomstick and kissing him lightly as she began walking across the pitch. A few drops of rain spattered on Lanas bare shoulders, and she knew that her white strap top would go see-through if she got too wet, so she picked up her pace.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ON THE PITCH~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Christie looked at Lucius and he glared at her. "Why did you do that?" he hissed, grabbing her by the arm.  
  
"If you want our plan to work then. Let. Go. Of. Me." Christie hissed back, slapping Lucius' hand from her.  
  
"Im going to have to scrub my mouth out now to get the Gryffindor out of it." Lucius said, looking at Crabbe and Goyle who were a few feet behind them like bodyguards.  
  
"SHES Gryffindor." Christie pointed out.  
  
Lucius flicked his steely blue eyes to where Lana was walking over to James. "I dont care. Lanas - something else."  
  
Christie rolled her eyes. "What is it with guys and Lana? Shes nothing SPECIAL. I mean, look at her - She doesnt even - Well I bet she doesnt even. - "  
  
"Shut up." Lucius said, flicking his eyes, regretfully, back to Christie. He was so fucking sick of this. 2 weeks hed had to keep this up, pretending to like Christie. He only hoped his mother never found, shed have a heart attack and die on the spot if she knew hed been near a...Gryffindor.  
  
"You do realise the damage we'll be doing?" Lucius asked, knowing that he didnt care, but someone who got put in Gryffindor wouldnt be ready for the amount of damage that they were going to cause.  
  
Christie mocked thinking. "Im aware."  
  
"I dont think you are." he told her, eyes flicking back to Lana and the super-friends. He felt a pang of jealousy. "Do you see how close they are?" he asked, feeling his stomach clench and he swallowed hard as Christie looked around.  
  
Christies eyes narrowed. "I see. And it just pisses me off even more. Theyve been going out for over a year. And to think I gave them 2 months..." she laughed bitterly. "Arghhh. I hate it. I HATE it. I want him for ME but noooo he has to have HER. Perfect little LANA. I hate HER too. Sometimes I wish I could just get that Quaffle and just -" Christie made a throwing motion with her hands.  
  
Lucius felt his hand on his wand tightening...If she insulted Lana once more...  
  
"But I suppose thats where you come in. We break them up...You get to pick up Lanas pieces...I get to pick up Sirius. Simple."  
  
Lucius relaxed a little at that thought. He turned to Crabbe and Goyle and nodded.  
  
"Here comes your little girlfriend now." Christie sneered.  
  
Lucius spun around sharply to see Lana running her hands through her hair, untangling it. Her white strap top hugged her figure, and her jogging bottoms fit her perfectly. Or so he thought. She was walking straight for them. Probably wanting to tell Christie something. Lucius narrowed his eyes as she got closer.  
  
Lana stood about 4 feet away from the Freak Show that was Lucius and Christie. She eyed Crabbe and Goyle, before looking at Lucius, smirking a little and she noticed he had a weird glint in his eye. Probably trying to get his sight back...Lana had to stiffle a laugh as she looked at Christie.  
  
"Oh by the way," Lana started "Youre dropped from the team."  
  
Christies jaw dropped. Lucius burst out laughing.  
  
"WHAT?!?!" Christie screeched.  
  
"Yeah." Lana frowned at Lucius. "Guess Prongs just... got sick of you.."  
  
"HE CANT DO THAT! IVE BEEN ON THE TEAM LIKE - 4 YEARS!"  
  
"Oh, he can." Lana told her, and Lucius stopped laughing, but was struggling to repress a smile. "In fact...I think old Prongs has already found a replacement."  
  
Christie was going red.  
  
"Bad luck." Lana said, and walked off.  
  
Christie pointed her wand at Lanas back but folded under Lucius glare.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~THE STAND~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Thanks for that James," Lily said, looking up at him.  
  
He furrowed his brow. "For what?"  
  
"Kicking Christie off the team. Like I asked you to."  
  
"I didnt do it because you asked me." He said, although it was obvious that it was the main reason. "Why did you want me to anyway?"  
  
"Because she kept attacking Lana. And Lanas like a sister to me. She *is* a sister to me." Lily said, stressing IS. "And I dont want her getting hurt."  
  
"I thought you had a sister?" Wormtail asked, confused.  
  
Lily looked at Wormtail, furious. She struggled to keep her voice steady. "If you call THAT a sister...Then even then, as far as Im concerned, I have no sisters. Except Lana."  
  
Wormtail went bright red and Lupin muttered. "Nice one, mate."  
  
Sirius stared after Lana. watching that Lucius didnt make some kind of move, either flirting or bad, on her. His brown hair was messy and hung in his face as his dark brown eyes flicked to James. "Yeah, thanks for that Prongs. I swear if that bitch had hurt Lana once more Id - "  
  
"You wouldnt do anything and you know it, Padfoot. You couldnt hurt a woman and you know it." James said, laughing.  
  
"If she was into the Dark Arts I'd have no problem doing it." Sirius said, meaning it.  
  
"Gotta agree with you there mate." Lupin commented.  
  
"Me too." Wormtail added. (oh the irony!!)  
  
"Me three." James said, and laughed.  
  
Sirius was looking back at Lana now, who had just started walking away from Chrisite, Lucius, Crabbe and Goyle.  
  
"You alright Padfoot?" came James' voice, snapping Sirius out of it.  
  
"Actually no. Its that creepy git Lucius Malfoy again. Look at the way hes looking at Lana."  
  
Lily looked over to Sirius and sighed. "Sirius, she loves you. Lana would never look at that creep."  
  
"She did last year." he said moodily, kicking at some stones that were on the stand.  
  
"Why are you even bringing this up?" Lily asked, confused.  
  
"I saw her talking to him the other day." Sirius said, and Lily burst out laughing.  
  
"Ooooh talking to him! What a crime..."  
  
"Im being serious Lil, you dont go around talking to Malfoy when youre a Gryffindor." James said, butting in, backing his best friend up.  
  
Lily nodded slightly. "I know, but I still dont see why youre all up in arms about Lana just talking to Malfoy."  
  
"It wasnt that she was talking to him...It was how she was talking to him." Sirius said, sitting down.  
  
"Explain." Lupin said, moving closer to the gang.  
  
Sirius sighed. "You remember how they were in the Three Broomsticks last year? How he had his arm on the wall and Lana was leaning against it?"  
  
They all nodded.  
  
"Well like that." he finished.  
  
"Oh." Lupin said, frowning.  
  
Lily, however, laughed. "Oh...You mean THAT." she said.  
  
"What do you mean?" James said, putting his arm around Lily.  
  
Lily was trying to control her laughter, and Alice, who was sitting the other side of Lily, started laughing as well.  
  
The boys looked...Confused.  
  
"Okay okay.." Lily began, stopping laughing a little bit. "We all know that Lucius has a bit of a ...thing for Lana...so..." and Lily started laughing harder.  
  
"We were talking about it, and about how we'd love to humiliate him the way he has us..." then Alice burst into fits of giggles.  
  
Sirius grinned, knowing they must have pulled some kind of prank on Lucius. "What the hell did you do?"  
  
Lily reached into her bag and pulled out a sheet of paper, and, crying with laughter, handed it to Sirius.  
  
It was a photo of Lucius Malfoy...Naked. Sirius looked at it, squinted, then "MY EYES! MY EYES!" and handed it back to Lily, who was now barely able to breathe. Alice was crying with laughter.  
  
James tore it from Sirius hand and looked at it, "Well Lil, never knew you had it in you babe." and passed it around to Lupin and Wormtail and Frank who, each in turn, burst out laughing as the moving picture of Lucius Malfoy tried to cover himself up.  
  
Sirius, however...Was not laughing. "How did you get this photo?" he said, angrily.  
  
"Wh- wh- what?" Lily asked, calming down slightly.  
  
"How. Did. You. Get. It." Sirius repeated.  
  
"Padfoot calm down!" James said, looking at him worriedly.  
  
"Oh, um.." Alice began, wiping at her eyes. "Lana made him think she was gonna sleep with him." Sirius looked furious. "But she didnt sleep with him...Or kiss him...Or even really look at him. She just..." Alice stopped laughing, and so did Lily.  
  
"She walked into the Slytherin Common Room with him, (she borrowed your Invisibility Cloak James)" Lily continued, "And they got up to the dorm and she told him to strip. Which, Lucius being the prick that he is, did. Then she whipped out her camera and took a shot, before he clicked on and flung a few curses at her and she had to run pretty quick to get out."  
  
James burst out laughing and hugged Lily. "Ah youre learning from the Pros."  
  
"Youre not mad about us borrowing your cloak?" she asked.  
  
"Not when its for the art of pranks!" he said, kissing her on the cheek.  
  
Sirius' fists were clenched. "And how exactly did Lana do this without..Kissing him or something?"  
  
"Oh please Sirius, you know what Lanas like." Alice said, waving her arm, "She doesnt realise it but the lads trip up over themselves looking at her! A few pouts and theyre like putty in her hands!" 


	27. Enemies and Lovers pt2

( NOTE : Will update this chapter tomorow or Thursday, making it complete! So dont review till then! But review the other chapter! Cos you love me! Not complete yet! )  
  
"Come on mate, chill out." Lupin said, smacking Sirius on the arm. "You can ask Lana about it yourself later."  
  
Sirius nodded. "Yeah...Youre right."  
  
James smacked Sirius on the back of the head. "Well were down 2 Chasers, I dont see the point in carrying on practice."  
  
Sirius turned around and looked at James, who indicated the Maurders Map in the inside of his robes. "Alright then Padfoot..Youre the boss...Its your call.."  
  
And with that, James dismissed the team and they headed for the showers. However, Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs paused half-way down the corridor, doubled back and went inside the castle to sneak into Hogsmeade.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~LATER THAT NIGHT~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana and Lily sat by the fire, waiting for the guys to get back from Hogsmeade. It had dropped quite cold, and by Lanas watch, it was almost 10pm. Lana was worried about Sirius' reaction to the photo that they had took, it was only for a laugh and to get some leverage over Malfoy. The temperature had dropped since Quidditch Practice, so Lana had changed into some light blue jeans and a white polo neck, her hair down and not exactly straight but not curly either, slightly mussed up. Lilys flame red hair was down and beautiful and perfect as usual, and she wore pale blue cords with a pale blue jumper.   
  
"So he was pretty mad?" Lana asked.  
  
"For the 20th time, yes." Lily said wearily, looking at her watch. "Jesus where are they? They went into Hogsmeade hours ago."  
  
Lana sighed. "I bet Sirius is out getting drunk. He always does when something goes wrong. Or he sits there brooding, not telling me what Ive done, which pisses me off even more."  
  
"Wouldnt suprise me. What did McGonagall want with you anyway?" Lily asked, looking at Lana.  
  
She shook her head. "Ill tell you when the guys get here. I cant be bothered to tell the story twice over. Sorry Lil." Stretching, Lana turned to look towards the Gryffindor Common Room portrait hole which had just swung open.  
  
James, Sirius and Lupin looked fine. Peter, however, looked ill. "Im going to bed" he mumbled, and turned up the corridor that led to the boys dorms.  
  
Lana stood up and looked at Sirius, who looked back. James crossed the room quickly with Lupin and sat nex to Lily, Lupin sat opposite them.  
  
Sirius stood there looking at Lana, and he swayed on the spot a little.   
  
"Drunk, again." Lana said, walking over to him, less than pleased.  
  
"No." Sirius said stubbornly. Lana grabbed Sirius and helped him walk over to the couch. Not that he needed help. He wasnt that drunk.   
  
"Sit down and be quiet." Lana instructed, and sat next to Sirius.  
  
"What did McGonagall want?" James asked, wrapping his arms around Lily.  
  
"Why did you seduce Lucius Malfoy?" Sirius asked, glaring at Lana.  
  
"One at a time!" Lily said, "Girl cant answer 17 questions at once!"  
  
Lana looked at Sirius. "Firstly, I didnt *seduce* him. I love you. Simple." she kissed him briefly but he didnt respond, so she moved away from him and sat at the other end of the couch.  
  
"Secondly, McGonagall wanted to tell me that - "  
  
"Youve got detention for 5 weeks!" Lupin added, cutting Lana off. "Sorry..." he said sheepishly.  
  
"Ive been promoted. To 7th year DADA, but..It also means I have to take 7th year Potions." Lana said.  
  
James looked at her, a little confused. "What do you mean, promoted?"  
  
"Well, Ive been having extra - more advanced lessons on DADA for about a year. And Professor Summers thinks Im ready to try it at NEWT level."  
  
"Really?!" Lily asked, sitting up. "Youre gonna be in my lesson? Cool! Yay!" she added, then looked around, feeling a little childish and sank back down into James' arms.  
  
"Thing is..Im not so good at Potions. But because of the timetable switch, I have to take 7th year Potions. And I cant drop it. If I wanna be an Auror, I have to take it. Which sucks."  
  
Sirius reached over for Lana and grabbed her hand, pulling her towards him.  
  
"Jeez yank my arm out of its socket then!" Lana exclaimed, and shifted sideways towards him.  
  
"So you must be pretty good at DADA then," James said quietly.   
  
"I guess so." Lupin said, looking at James with amusement. "Guess you arent the most talented one here after all, Prongsy mate."  
  
"Guess not." he said dejectedly.   
  
"Can we stop with the guessing?!" Lily said, and grinned at James, "Aww baby, dont worry..I still love you, you handsome, funny, charming, witty......Dumbass." she said, laughing and kissing him at the same time.  
  
"Lil!" Lana said, mock shocked. "Its not nice to pick on less...Intelligent people than me." Breaking into a grin, Lana threw a pillow at James. "Also, McGonagall said I was banned from playing Quidditch."  
  
"WHAT?!" James shouted, grabbing the pillow.  
  
"Prongs I was kidding..." Lana said, quietly.   
  
"NEVER joke about that..Its just..Not funny." he threw the pillow back to Lana.  
  
"Sorry." she said, grinning.  
  
"So whats the catch?" Sirius asked, looking straight...well as straight as he could manage, at Lana.  
  
"Ah." she said slowly, her grin fading. "Thing is...If I struggle with Potions...I have to take extra lessons...With a tutor. I suggested, you and James, cos, you know, youre good at pretty much everything, but McGonagall didnt think Id get much work done."  
  
"Who did she suggest then?" frowned Sirius.  
  
"Snape. Or Malfoy." Lana said quietly.  
  
"WHAT? NO!" James and Sirius burst out at the same time.  
  
"Does she even know who we are?" James asked.  
  
"I know, I know, which is why, if I do get stuck..Ill just ask you guys anyway." Lana shrugged, looking at Moony, who was now asleep.  
  
"Damn right you will." Sirius said, standing up and looking down at Lana.  
  
"Excuse me?" Lana said, standing up and looking up at him.  
  
"Yeah. Youre not going *near* Lucius Malfoy any more." he told Lana, with determination in his voice.  
  
"Kinda hard, same school, and Im guessing that you have DADA and Potions with them."  
  
"Yeah, well, you know what I meant." he scuffed his feet and looked away from Lana.  
  
"Oh, you know what, you are *so* immature. Dont you trust me?" Lana looked up at him, hurt that he obviously didnt trust her.  
  
"I trust you. Its him I dont trust."   
  
"So you dont trust him around me? Whats that supposed to mean?"  
  
"It means I dont trust him not to hurt you." Sirius said quietly. "I dont want him to hurt you." Partly true, he thought to himself. The other part is...I dont trust her not to go flirting with him when Im not around. Well I do trust her, its just...Ah never mind.  
  
Lana felt her anger melting. "He wont. Id just...Kick his ass. And besides....I said Id ask you and James for help anyway. Do you really think Id go near Snivelly? Please!" she smiled and wrapped her arms around Sirius, laying her head on his chest, breathing in his scent. She looked up at him. "Anyway..It just means we get to spend more time together before you all leave me at the end of the year."  
  
"Oh my god..." came Lilys voice. "Id forgotten all about that...."  
  
"Ah, I'll be fine. Ill just...miss you all like crazy...Sneak out at weekends...Crash Sirius' flying motorbike..That kind of thing..."  
  
"Crash Sirius motorbike?!?! Thats a sure way to get yourself killed..by Padfoot." James said, winking.  
  
"James, youve crashed it more than anyone I know!" Lily said, squeezing his hand.  
  
"That was NOT my fault!" he exclaimed, and Lily laughed.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~DEFENCE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The Maurders, Lily and Lana sat at breakfast the next morning. Lily was asking Lana what she was planning to wear to the Christmas Ball tomorrow night.  
  
"I have no idea. Theres a Hogsmeade trip tomorrow, so I figure Id just look then. We could go shopping." Lana suggested, buttering some toast.  
  
"Definately," Lily said, sipping her orange juice. "But you gotta promise me one thing."  
  
"Okay...What do you want me to promise?" she asked, taking a bite from her toast.  
  
"That youll buy a dress. Or at least a skirt."  
  
Lana raised her eyebrows. "Lil, have you even seen how fat my legs are? I have the worst legs."  
  
"No you dont," Lily said, slapping Lanas wrist, "And everytime you put yourself down Im going to slap you. It doesnt have to be a short skirt." she said, re-filling her glass.  
  
"Well...as long as its red or black." Lana said with a grin.  
  
The bell sounded and Lana threw down her toast, and Lily finished her orange juice off quickly.  
  
"Morning baby." Sirius said, as he sauntered out of the Great Hall with James. "Anyone seen Wormtail?" he asked, looking around.  
  
"Nope." Lily said, taking James' hand.  
  
"Wheres Remus?" Lana asked as Sirius wrapped his arms around her, walking behind her.  
  
"He'll be down in a minute. He left his textbook in the dorm." Sirius informed them.  
  
"Speak of the Devil." Lana said, as they turned the corner to see Lupin coming down the stairs. He looked extremely tired and pale. Full Moon was approaching.   
  
"Afternoon." James said, grinning at Lupin.  
  
"Very funny." Lupin replied, and smiled at Lana as she waved at him.  
  
They reached the classroom and stood outside, Lana leant against the wall, kissing Sirius. Peter got there about 2 minutes later, and was in awe of James, who had stolen the Snitch again. Lily rolled her eyes and turned to Frank Longbottom, persuading him to just ask Alice out at the end of the lesson. Lana turned to her right to see Lucius, Crabbe, Goyle, Nott and Snape walking down the corridor towards them.  
  
"What would they wanna take DADA for? Their all up their eyebrows in Dark Magic." Lana asked Sirius.  
  
James grabbed the Snitch and shoved it in his pocket, as he saw the Slytherins approach. Sirius broke away from Lana and stood next to James, and they both had their hands on their wands, glaring at the Slytherins.  
  
Lily walked over to James, and put her hand on his arm. "Leave it."  
  
James looked at Lily and lowered his wand. "Fine."  
  
Snape looked at his feet as Sirius continued to glare at him.  
  
"What are YOU doing here, Madison?" Lucius asked, fixing his grey eyes on Lana.  
  
"OI!" Sirius said, pointing his wand at Lucius. "Dont talk to my girl like that."  
  
"She wasnt your girl the other night..." Lucius taunted, eyes glinting. Lana flushed a bright red and avoided looking at Sirius.  
  
"Shut up Malfoy." Lana said quietly.  
  
"Whats this bastard talking about Lana?" Sirius demanded, never taking his eyes off Lucius.  
  
"Nothing. Wishful thinking." Lana said, glaring at Lucius.  
  
"What are you doing here Madison?" Lucius asked again.  
  
"Ive been promoted" Lana said simply, and Lucius jaw dropped. Crabbe and Goyle looked confused. Nott grabbed his wand and pointed it Lana.   
  
Lucius smirked. "And how did you get that, Lana? Fuck the teacher?" He enjoyed the outraged expression on Lanas face, and the anger on Sirius'.  
  
"Padfoot...Are you gonna let him talk to you like that?" James said, still looking at Snape.  
  
"I guess the Mudbloods being demoted then." Snape said, black eyes looking at Lily.  
  
"Sorry Lil, but that was TOO FAR!" James said, and there was a flash of light as he flicked his wand at Snape, giving him a much needed hair cut.   
  
Lana muttered something and flicked her wand, and Snape was covered in boils.  
  
A flash of blue light came from Notts wand and hit Lana in the chest, sending her flying backwards into the opposite wall, smashing her head on the wall.  
  
Red light flung from Sirius wand as he Stunned Nott.  
  
Professor Summers came down the corridor and looked at the scene that was before him. Gryffindors and Slytherins duelling. Snape covered in boils, Nott stunned, Lana knocked out against the wall, James with tiny cuts on his face, Sirius with a big gash in his arm. Red, green, blue, purple streams of light flashing, knocking cupboards over, setting paintings on fire.  
  
"EXPELLIARMUS!" he shouted and disarmed all the students. "Reparo" he muttered, and the cupboards mended themselves and the paintings stopped burning.  
  
They all stopped and turned to look at him. Sirius ran over to Lana and she came around, eyes looking a little unfocused.  
  
"All of you, in that classroom NOW!" Summers shouted, eyes blazing with anger.  
  
Lily and Sirius helped Lana up, James, Wormtail, Moony, Frank and Alice walked in behind the Slytherins.  
  
The room had been magically changed. Along the back wall was 4 rows of seats, all raised up like in the cinema, and the rest of the room had been cleared out, except for a raised platform and some carefully placed mats.  
  
Lily, James, Sirius and Lana took the back row, and in front of them sat Moony, Wormtail, Frank and Alice. The Slytherins took up the rest of the rows.   
  
Summers stood on the raised platform, and looked up at them. Sirius was still trying to keep Lana awake, the blow on the head must have been pretty hard.   
  
"Well. You think you can all stand outside my classroom and duel, do you?"  
  
"Professor, Snivlelly called Lily a Mudblood." James pointed out.  
  
Summers raised an eyebrow. "Really? I think thats 10 points from Slytherin then. I will not tolerate prejudice in my lesson time. Wheres Nott and Avery?" he asked, looking at the Slytherins.  
  
"Sirius stunned Nott. Avery took him to the hospital wing." Lucius informed him.  
  
Professor Summers sighed. "Fine. Is Lana okay?" he asked, rubbing his temples.  
  
"I think so." Lana said, leaning back against the chair, her eyes closed. "Hell of a headache tho."  
  
"Think you can participate in the lesson?" he asked, to the whole of the class.  
  
They all nodded. Summers muttered the counter curse at Snape, making the boils vanish. He pointed his wand at Sirius and bandaged his arm, and there wasnt really anything he could do for James little scratches on his face.  
  
"You shall all be in detention tomorow night." Summers told them.  
  
Lana blinked, still seeing little dots in front of her eyes. "You okay baby"? Sirius whispered, and Lana nodded.  
  
"As you know, for the past few days we have been studying the Unforgiveable Curses." the Slytherins looked at each other, and Lana got the feeling they knew more than their share of them. "We have read about the Unforgiveable Curses, however, they arent the only Forbidden curses." he added, just a little side information. "What can you tell me about them?"  
  
Professor Summers looked around the classroom. "Lana?"  
  
"Yeah?" she said, having just started doodling on a piece of parchment, the throbbing in her head lessening. "Oh. Yeah. The Unforgiveable Curses. There are 3. The use of either one will get you a life sentence in Azkaban, and maybe the Dementors Kiss."  
  
"Which are?"  
  
Lana stopped doodling. "The Imperius Curse. Right now, the Ministry has caught some of Voldemorts Death Eaters. They are having trouble deciding which were acting of their own free will and which were under the Imperius Curse. The Imperius Curse takes away a persons free will. They are controlled by the spell caster."  
  
There were a few shudders from Wormtail and Alice.  
  
Summers waved Lana on, and she continued.  
  
"The administrator of the curse can make the person so anything. Torture, maim, kill....Or simply do cartwheels and other things that they may find amusing." This drew a laugh from Peter, and Lana looked at him. "You find this funny?" she said with disgust. He stopped laughing and flushed from the glares of Lana and the rest of the Gryffindors. Lana took a breath. "However, you can throw this curse off. Some people find it easier than others. It depends on the abilities of the mind. And on what the person controlling you is telling you to do. For example, if you are told to administer the Cruciatus Curse on someone, and even if just a tiny part of you thinks 'this is stupid' or doesnt want to do it, they should be able to throw it off, or at least move their wand so that it doesnt hit the intended person. I should think that any sane person would feel revolt at being asked to do that."  
  
There were a few bemused faces around the room. "Explain further, Lana." Professor Summers told her.  
  
"Well I just think that, Imperius Curse or not, that all of Voldemorts sheep should be thrown in Azkaban. Under the Imperius Curse, you still retain a sense of self. You know what youre being instructed to do. The tiniest bit of resistance can alter what you do."  
  
"Voldemorts sheep?!!" Malfoy burst out. "You should be afraid of Voldemorts followers. Theyre dangerous and powerful. Smart people who know whats good for them keep their mouths shut. But I guess that doesnt apply to you. And if you think the Curse is that easy to throw off, prove it."  
  
"Dont be a stupid git Malfoy." Moony said.  
  
"Thats impossible." sneered James.  
  
"Shut up!" Professor Summers barked. "Intresting views, Lana." his gaze went to Lucius. "Lucius here has a point. And thats what were going to be doing today. Demonstrating the Imperius Curse."  
  
"Thats illegal!" Frank said.  
  
"Not for this purpose it isnt." he looked around. "Lana, Lucius - come down here." 


	28. Enemies and Lovers pt3

( NOTE : I meant take a character called Lana (not the same one Lana in this story!) but certain aspects of her character will be the same. I confused myself reading my note!!! Ill update as I go along. Its short now but this chapter will get longer!)  
  
"Ill do it instead of Lana." Sirius said, standing up. "I dont trust Malfoy with my girl."  
  
"Sit down." Summers told Sirius. "Lana made her point. Now she can prove it."  
  
Lana stood up. "Id be happy to." She walked to the end of the row, past Sirius, James and Lily. At that moment, Nott and Avery walked into the classroom. Nott gave Lana an appreciative glance, although shes stunned him. Lana ignored him, her red robes swirling as she made her way to join Malfoy on the platform.  
  
Sirius was clutching his wand so tight he thought hed snap it. He was keeping his eyes intently on Lucius, and James was watching Nott. Moony, Lily, Alice and Frank were watching the rest of the Slytherins, out of the corner of their eyes.Peter was watching Lana avidly.  
  
Lucius stood at one end of the platform, and Lana stood at the other.  
  
"Lucius is now going to use the Imperius Curse on Lana. Since Lucius hasnt performed the curse before, it should be quite weak and therefore Lana should be able to throw it off easily"  
  
"IMPERIO!" Lucius shouted, grinning wickedly...Oh the things he could make Lana do under this spell...  
  
A vacant expression came over Lanas face, a dreamy look in her eyes. Just do what he says...A voice said over and over.  
  
"What do I do now?" Lucius asked Professor Summers, acting like he didnt know what to do, when he really did.  
  
"Make her do something. Cartwheels, to use Lanas example."  
  
Lucius nodded. "Lana" - his voice sounded in her head - "Cartwheel. 3 times. Then do a backflip."  
  
Sounds easy, Lana thought...And she did. She cartwheeled and flipped.  
  
"Wow shes bendy." Nott commented. "Bet shes good in bed, Sirius." he said, grinning at him. Sirius, however, was not amused and smacked Nott around the back of the head.  
  
"Its not enough to provoke a reaction out of her." Summers said.  
  
"Can you use this Curse to get information out of people?" Lucius asked.  
  
"Yes. You can get anything from the person." Summers informed him.  
  
Lucius looked at Snape, both of their eyes glittering. "Okay...Lana...Where does Lupin here go?"  
  
There was a sharp intake of breath from Lupin, James, Sirius, Lily and Wormtail. The rest of the class looked confused.  
  
Please dont tell him, please dont tell him...Lupin thought, not daring to breathe or take his eyes from Lana.  
  
Lana hadnt moved. She was still stood 6 inches in front of Malfoy looking at him. She hadnt spoken.  
  
"I SAID tell me where Lupin goes." Lucius repeated, pointed at Lanas chest.  
  
"What on earth are you talking about Lucius?" Professor Summers asked.  
  
(WHAT?! Hes using this to find about Moony! NO!) Lana thought to herself, but she started to speak. "Lupin - Lupin - " she began, but then stopped. She blinked a few times and looked around, as if waking up from a dream. Lupin was shaking. "Lupin - " she shook her head violently and managed to throw off the curse.  
  
She glared at Malfoy, and his eyes widened in shock. "You bastard!" Lana said, and slapped him around the face, leaving a red hand print.  
  
Lana took one look at Professor Summers to find he was smiling. "20 points to Gryffindor Lana."  
  
Lupin let out a sigh of relief and pushed his sandy blonde hair from his face with a trembling hand. Lily looked at him, worried. Sirius had noticed how Lucius had looked at Snape first. It figured that Snape wanted to know. He was always following them around, trying to get them expelled.  
  
Lana bit down her lip, painfully aware of everyone looking at her. She was close to tears. Glad she had proved her point, but at what cost. "Can I be excused?" she asked in a trembling voice.  
  
"Of course." Professor Summers said, and, noticing the tension the room, dismissed the class.  
  
Lana leant against the wall outside the classroom, head in her hands, breathing heavily. 


	29. Letters To You

Harry was in thrall of Lana as she recounted her school days. Hed never heard anyone talk about his mum and dad like this. It was obvious to him that they were all very close and would have died for each other, as Sirius had told him 3 years ago in the Shrieking Shack. Harry almost died with laughter as Lana told him about the trick they pulled on Lucius Malfoy. He soon stopped laughing as Lana told him about Lucius using the Imperius curse to try and get her to tell the whole class that Lupin was/is a werewolf. He was impressed by his fathers Qudditch skills, and was determined to become a better Seeker for it. Harry felt a real bittersweet feeling. Here was Sirius girlfriend - something Harry was still getting his head around - his mothers best friend - his fathers close friend - telling him about his dead parents and dead Godparent. He thought maybe he should be angry at Lana for being alive, but he just couldnt help liking her. Even when he wasnt sure who she was, back in the clubs, he couldnt help but feel like they had a connection. Harrys head was swimming with all the information, but he was so happy. For the first time in months.  
  
Lana was enjoying telling Harry about his parents; she hadnt spoken about them for a long time; hadnt thought about them - it was easier not to, after that awful night. She had to fight back the tears a few times at certain parts. Especially the Sirius parts. Of course, she skimmed over a few things. The Lucius part was funny, but Lana was not looking forward to remembering what he did to get her back. It still...Haunted her. But not in the way that awful night did...  
  
However, their storytelling was broken up by the apperance of Bill Weasley and Lupin.  
  
"Nay..We have to - " Lupin stopped, looking between Harry and Lana.  
  
"Sorry Moony, but I was just telling Harry some stories from our school days." Lana said, stopping smiling and looking apologetic.  
  
"Yeah, so can it wait? I wanna know what happened at the Christmas Ball. And you didnt exactly answer my question about Sirius and Snape. And about why my father pulled him back." Harry said eagerly, green eyes shining.  
  
Lupin stared at Lana, a mixture of anger and delight.  
  
Lana coughed. "Maybe another time, ay Harry?" she said, smiling at him. "Lets just say - It was partly my fault that Sirius told Snape."  
  
"Partly?" Lupin said. "It was totally your fault." he corrected her.  
  
"No it wasnt," she said, in an immature way. "Maybe...80% my fault. But Snape brought it on himself."  
  
"Well if you and Lily hadnt thought it hilarious to blow that damned photo up" Lupin said, a little angry.  
  
Lana frowned. "But it was funny. And you of all people cant lecture me on that."  
  
Lupin smiled. "We could argue about this forever." He looked at Harry. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Im fine. In fact...I feel great. Hearing about my parents - its - " Harry stopped, choking a little on his words.  
  
Lana rose from her chair and walked over to Harry, bent down in front of him, and pulled a suprised Harry into a tight hug. "I love you Harry Potter. So you just behave yourself while Im gone. Ill be back soon. Tomorow night at the latest."  
  
Harry didnt know what to think, and he was a little shocked by the hug and the fact that she said she loved him. Harry felt Lana slip something into his pocket as she broke away from him.  
  
Bill Weasley spoke. "Dumbledore wants a word."  
  
Lana nodded, looking at Harry, getting across that hes to look at what she put in his pocket later, alone. "Okay then. Bye Harry."  
  
Lupin followed Lana back into the Leaky Cauldron. Dumbledore was sat in a booth on his own, with 2 Butterbeers. Bill Weasley sat outside with Harry.  
  
"Ah, Lana." Dumbledore gestured for her to sit down, which she did.  
  
"Dumbledore - " she began, but he put a hand up to silence her.  
  
"I shall take my leave now," Lupin said, and turned, nodding at Lana and Dumbledore, walking across the pub and through the back door.  
  
"You and your damned temper." Dumbledore said quietly.  
  
"Im not going to apologise, if thats what your getting at. You know I dont say sorry unless I mean it. And I dont." Lana stressed the "dont."  
  
"Youre going to have to learn to control yourself around Professor Snape. But Im not here to discuss that."  
  
Lana furrowed her brow, curious yet confused. "What do you want to discuss? I have a few questions of my own."  
  
"Im sure you do. The house you and Sirius lived in, it didnt get destroyed at the end of the First War." Dumbledore stated, matter-of-factly.  
  
"Oh." Lana said, tapping her fingers on the table. "Forgive my impatience, but youre telling me this because?"  
  
"There are somethings there that you might need. Also, neither did the Orders first Headquaters. You mothers house."  
  
"Guess Death Eaters arent big on destroying property. Just lives." Sipping her Butterbeer, Lana looked around. "Where is the Orders new HQ?". The thought had only just occured to her.  
  
"12, Grimmauld Place." Dumbledore said quietly.  
  
Lana thought for a moment, then her expression became one that showed things were clicking into place. "Sirius' mothers house."  
  
Dumbledore nodded, still looking at Lana.  
  
Then something else clicked. "Why didnt you use the old HQ? Or Sirius' house?" she asked.  
  
"I dont have to answer that question for you." Dumbledore told her.  
  
"Right. Too many memories. Im not sure if the good ones even balance out the bad ones."  
  
"Of course they do."  
  
"Wait a - Sirius went to his MOTHERS?!" Lana burst out. "He was living there? Thats where to kept him locked away for all those months? Oh bloody hell." her voice was rising, and some witches turned to look.  
  
"Keep your voice down."  
  
"Oh God." Lana said, her head in her hands, "You KNEW how much he hated that place. That bloody portrait screaming all the time I bet." She shook her head. "I cant think of that right now. What I need to know is - is what I saw - the Ghost Roads - are they actually real or is it one of Voldemorts things?"  
  
Something in Dumbledores usually calm and composed face flickered for a second. "Yes. They are real."  
  
Lanas eyes widened and she took a huge swallow of her Butterbeer, and leant back on the chair. "Oh. Great." she said, not meaning it.  
  
"Do you know what it means?" he asked seriously, too seriously, eyes locked onto Lanas.  
  
She shrugged. "No idea."  
  
Dumbledore took out a piece of parchment and wrote something on it. He pushed it across the table to Lana.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ HARRY ~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Bill Weasley sat opposite Harry, and to lighten the mood, started talking about Quidditch. After 10 minutes, Harry found himself itching to read what Lana had put in his pocket.  
  
"Um, Bill...Id like to be alone right now." Harry said, and Bill nodded and walked off.  
  
Harry delved into his pocket and pulled out an envelope. Inside it was a few pieces of parchment, different sizes and a Gringotts key. It read -  
  
"Harry. I know you have James' Invisibility Cloak, and the Maurders Map, photos... plus a vault full of gold. You dont have anything of Lilys. Well now you do. The key is to a Gringotts vault. I probably dont need to tell you that you dont just store money in Gringotts.  
  
Your mother left this in my care, in case anything should ever happen. Lily knew that you would go to Petunia, even though Sirius was your Godfather. She knew very well what Petunia was like, so Lily entrusted me with this.  
  
Theres a few things in there. Just be careful with them.  
  
I hate to dampen this moment, but with all thats happened - I fear you will never get to use it. And your parents wanted to see you happy."  
  
Harry was moved almost to tears, and he looked at the other piece of parchment.  
  
"Vault 000987"  
  
He took the key in his hand and tapped the brick on the wall. He sprinted down Diagon Alley to Gringotts.  
  
A goblin walked over to Harry.  
  
"Can I help you?" he asked.  
  
Harry handed him the parchment with the vault number on and the key. The goblin inspected it.  
  
"Lana Madison is back with us I see, Mr Potter?"  
  
Harry nodded, and frowned. "How do you - "  
  
"Lily Potter told me that Lana would one day give you this."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ THE LEAKY CAULDRON ~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana read the piece of parchment again. And again. Over and over in her head she turned this information. She couldnt deal with it. Almost 3 weeks ago, shes awoken to find that 15, nearly 16 years had passed. That she hadnt aged. That, even in Voldemorts abscence, terrible things had still happened. Lana couldnt bare to think of the strain on Harry. Hed never have a normal life. He barely had anything left to fight for. Ron, Hermione...If he lived past 17...Her heart ached too much and her soul was slowly being hollowed out and being filled with a darkness that left her empty.  
  
And now...  
  
"Are you sure?" she asked for the 5th time.  
  
"Yes." Dumbledore replied, for the 5th time.  
  
Something so small. Something her and Sirius had done when they were arrogant teenagers. Something that she had forgotten about. Something that could save him. Something that could save her. Something that could save Harry.  
  
"Because we - me and Sirius - did this - we can - maybe - " she stuttered.  
  
"No. Unfortunately not." Dumbledore said, bowing his head.  
  
"What?" Lana said, disbelieving. "Youre telling me, that with all that you know, we cant?"  
  
"Even I wouldnt know where to start." Dumbledore said, looking up at Lana.  
  
"I refuse to believe that. There has to be a way. There just has to be."  
  
"If there was, if we were meant to - wed know how."  
  
"There has to be a way. And I'll find it." Lana said, folding the parchment up and placing it in her pocket.  
  
"There is no way."  
  
"Youre saying I have to just leave him there? No. I cant. I wont." she said, standing up. "I have to go to my mothers. There are some things there that I need. Ive been putting it off for almost 3 weeks."  
  
"Lana...Promise me you wont try anything. Its dangerous and volatile."  
  
"So theres an it now?" Lana said, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Not at all. Promise me."  
  
"No. I dont owe you anything." Lana said, pulling her jacket on.  
  
"Promise me."  
  
"I cant. Because promises - I tend to break them. Look whats happened to Harry when I should have been there for him. When Sirius should have been there. Sirius was in prison - whats my excuse? And dont say a coma. You could have found a cure for that anytime. But you didnt. Not even when Sirius escaped." Lana fastened up her jacket. "And for that, I will never forgive you." she said, as she swept out of the front door of the Leaky Cauldron.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ HARRY ~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
They had spent longer hurtling around below Gringotts than Harry would have liked. But it was worth it. He thought.  
  
The cart stopped outside a door, big enough for Harry to walk inside. The goblin got out, stroked the door with his finger, placed the key in the lock, and grabbed Harry, making him stand in front of the door.  
  
The door made a humming noise, and then disappeared. Harry stepped through. There was a room, about 6 foot by 6 foot, with shelves on all 3 walls. Harry couldnt help but gasp as he looked on them. Magical instruments hed never seen. To his right was what he recognised as his mothers wedding dress, and his fathers suit. His eyes opened wide.  
  
"When you want to come back, give us a buzz." said the goblin, thrusting a small silver instrument into Harrys hand.  
  
Harry could only nod. He was dazed by the things that were around him. On the shelves next to the dress and the suit, was a big grey box. A white label on it said "videos". Harry pulled it out and sat on the floor, the box in front of him and opened it. Inside, neatly stacked, was 10 videos, Harry counted, each labelled. "Graduation." "The Engagement." "The Stag Night." "The Hen Night." "The Wedding." "Pregnant." "Harry : The Christening" "Harry : 6 months." "Harry : 1st Birthday Party."  
  
Tears clouded his vision - there were actually video tapes of him and his parents! He never thought of it - but his mother was a Muggle, so it did make sense. Harry didnt think the Dursleys would let him watch them - But screw the Dursleys. He was ready to bet that Lana had a video player. He stood up, not bothering to put the box back on the shelf. Looking up at the shelf, Harry noticed a very thick envelope.  
  
Trembling, Harry picked up the envelope that had been sealed with a stamp of red wax. He sat back down, and carefully peeled back the seal. He took out the parchment, being careful not to tear it and opened it.  
  
In writing very much like his own, he read -  
  
"Dearest Harry,  
  
We love you. So much. And writing this pains us, because we know that, if youre reading it, we havent been around to see you grow up. We dont know where to begin. Mainly because we dont know what the outcome could or will be. If Voldemort has found us, if we have been betrayed, then we're sorry. Sorry that we arent there for you, sorry that we cant hold you, sorry that this terrible burden has been placed on your young shoulders. (And sorry if you have to go to the Dursleys :) ) "  
  
Harry felt the tears fall because his parents were apologising for not being there. He wanted them; he needed them so much. That saying, how you cant miss what you never had? Not true. The Dursley part had been written in red, instead of blue, and in different writing, with a little smiley face. Harry smiled.  
  
"There are many different things that could have happened; Many different ways the War could have ended. We can only hope that Sirius or Remus are still alive to help you through this time. We know that Lana is alive, because she is the Secret Keeper for this vault, nobody else knows about it. And she has the only key. By now you probably know about the Prophecy. Harry, we will never let Voldemort take you. We will die before He ever gets His hands on you, our darling son. If Voldemort does fall, he will be back. And when he is, it will fall to you. You can never know how sorry we are that this burden will fall on your young shoulders.  
  
There are some things in this room and in this letter that you will find useful. Other things, like the videos, are just personal. For you to remember us by. Because we know we arent going to live to see the end of this War. Remus, Sirius and Lana, we get the feeling, (unless Lana starts losing her temper with Snape...or Sirius gets too cocky....or Remus...well he never does anything rash) will live to see the beginning of the Second War. Whether they'll live to see the end of it, with you, is another story."  
  
Harry put the parchment down, took his glasses off and wiped at his eyes. He could barely see, his tears were making his vision worse. Folding the parchment up carefully, he slid them back into the envelope. He would finish it later. Looking around the small room, he noticed that some shelves were bare, or only had one item on them. Hed ask Lana later why they were bare. On one of the shelves that was level with his waist, Harry noticed a thick book. He picked it up, slid the letter inside the book, picked the book up, and pressed the silver thing the goblin had given him.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~THE LEAKY CAULDRON~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Dumbledore sighed, almost, but not quite, regretting that hed reminded Lana of the spell that she and Sirius had done when they were younger. It had been foolish of him, and he knew that Lana wouldnt give up. Once that girl put her mind to something...He frowned slightly, wondering where Harry was.  
  
Lana stood outside the Leaky Cauldron, feeling the warm sun on her face. Her heart was pounding. All that had happened over the past few days..She was starting to wish that shed never re-entered the Wizarding World. All this time shed come across as strong, having the odd break down, like earlier. When really inside, she felt that she was suffocating. To use Dumbledores words, she felt like she was bleeding to death with the pain of it. Harry, she had to be strong for Harry. He cant see her break down. Too late for that, idiot, she reminded herself. And now this...For the first time in almost 3 weeks, a little ray of sunshine and shone, for a brief few minutes, on the darkness that was her decaying soul. No, not decaying..Deprived. Deprived of the love of Sirius, of the friendship of Lily, James and even Lupin. Hed been acting odd since the time in Dumbledores office. And when they kissed - Lana closed her eyes, blocking that out. It should never have happened. Forget it.  
  
Speak of the devil, Lana thought, as Lupin walked outside.  
  
"Guess Dumbledores told you." Lana said, not opening her eyes.  
  
"Yes. Nay, we - "  
  
"Dont call me that." Lanas voice shook. "Dont call me Nay like were still friends."  
  
Lupin was confused. "What?"  
  
"Youve been acting all weird around me since that time in Dumbledores office."  
  
He rolled his eyes. This was Lanas 18 year old, immature side coming out. "Can you blame me? I thought you were dead. We all did."  
  
"Dumbledore didnt. He knew where I was. Yet he didnt tell you, or Sirius, or anyone" Lana swallowed hard.  
  
Lupin stepped close to her and looked at her. "Again, what?"  
  
"Never mind." Lana said, stepping forward and opening her eyes. "My point, just dont call me Nay. That part of me is dead. Gone. Buried. Past."  
  
"No, no its not." Lupin said, as Lana turned to face him. "Its still very much a part of you."  
  
"Oh dont give me all that crap." shaking her head, she looked at him. "Just forget I said anything. Just me thinking random thoughts out loud."  
  
"Care to tell me any other random thoughts? Like about what Dumbledores just told you? Or, hinted at?"  
  
"He didnt hint at anything. He said it couldnt be done. But if theyre there, in that place..It must mean it can be done. He just wont do it. No, he cant. Its me. I have to do it. Thing is, I dont know where to start." Lana said, the words spilling out all in a rush.  
  
Lupin didnt know what to do or say. "You know, Lana, we dont really know what it means."  
  
Her features hardened. "Nobody seems willing to try."  
  
He knew this was against his better judgement, but he had been at a loose end since Sirius had gone, and now he, Lupin, was the last of the Maurders. He wanted to see this war through, see the end of it - That was the only thing keeping him going. Destroying Voldemort, utterly and completely. And of course, Harry. But what then? What after that? It was unlikely that Harry would live through it, although he hated himself for thinking that. Neither would Ron or Hermione. They would sacrifice themselves for Harry, like James and Lily and Sirius before them. Harry would come to hate himself for it. A lot of people made a lot of sacrifices in the last war, and Lupin had the feeling, in the pit of his stomach, that losses would be greater this time. Sirius had made his.  
  
"Greater and more terrible than ever before." Lupin repeated Trelawneys words.  
  
"Trelawneys words." Lana commented. She looked at Lupins face, and, without either of them saying a word, Lana knew they had an agreement. What the agreement was, she wasnt sure. "Im going to try. If it kills me, Ill do it."  
  
"Im here if you need me." Lupin said.  
  
"I need you." Lana said, "I need to go to my mothers house. She worked in the Department of Mysteries - Maybe theres something in one of her journals about the Veil. Although, she could have worked on something totally different. I never knew what she did." Lana shrugged, shaking her head, trying to think of the little things her mother, Erica, had told her. But nothing made sense. 


	30. The Start of the Something or Nothing

After walking around for an hour, thinking over what Dumbledore had told her and wondering how Harry was getting along.They were in the middle of a war, and she got the feeling that Harry had only just realised that they were. What a bloodbath it was going to be. Lana found herself wandering back towards the Leaky Cauldron. And back to Lupin. What she wouldnt give for a vodka. As she looked up at the sky, she found herself staring at the moon. The hot day had given way to a cool, crisp, clear night and Lana was glad it wasnt a full moon. She needed Lupin. Now more than ever.  
  
Pushing the door open, she felt a blast of warm heat on her face. She stepped inside and was glad to see that it was just as crowded at night as it had been in the day. The smell of smoke, wood, sweat and Butterbeer filled her nostrils as she walked further into the Leaky Cauldron, pushing past the crowds of noise people, looking for Lupin.  
  
As usual, Lupin was sat in the corner of the room, in a booth on his own. Whether this was intentional or not, Lana didnt know. But being in the corner was. Most people knew that he was a werewolf, and most of those people didnt know him. He scared them, but nothing could be further from the truth once you know him. After their conversation earlier, Lana decided to take a walk. Clear her head. Mostly of thoughts that she shouldnt be having. Here she was, trying to get her soul mate back, and all she could think about was the itch that she couldnt scratch. Bad person. Bad, evil person.  
  
She walked over to him, waving to Bill Weasley who was busy chatting up a young witch. Lana slid into the booth and sat down next to Lupin.  
  
"Hey." she said quietly, taking his Butterbeer and taking a long swallow.  
  
"Help yourself." he replied, smiling slightly.  
  
Swallowing and setting the Butterbeer back down in front of Lupin, she said "Thanks."  
  
"You ready to go now?" Lupin asked, shifting closer and lowering his voice.  
  
"Almost. You know where my mother lived? In Hogsmeade, near to the Muggles." she stopped trying to explain because Lupin was smirking and she realised that he knew because he had been there many a time. First to stay there one Christmas with everyone, then later on, in not-so-pleasent times. When it was the HQ for the Order. "But you already know that."  
  
Lupin nodded.  
  
"Im going to go and get changed. Get a few things." Lana said, standing up.  
  
"Lana." he said, grabbing her hand as she stood up. "We need to be careful."  
  
"Carefuls for wimps." (Let go of me, she thought.) Her heart was hammering.  
  
"I mean it. If we get caught - " he stopped, looking around.  
  
"Theyll what? Send us to Azkaban? Besides..Techincally...Were not doing anything wrong. It is my property." Lana slid her hand out of his grasp, and turning, walked off.  
  
He watched her make her way through the crowds and through the door. He sighed and put his hands in his sandy blonde hair. He swore the only reason Lana took the double-agent role was because it was a thrill. Could get caught. Would most certainly die a painful and gruesome death. Enough to put anyone off. Not Lana. Trick was convincing her not to do it.  
  
"Quite something isnt she?" Bill said, sitting opposite Lupin.  
  
"What?" he asked, snapping out of his thoughts.  
  
"I just cant figure her out, you know? One minute I think Ive got it, the next she shows a whole different side to her."  
  
"Again, what?" Lupin asked, wondering that Bill was getting at.  
  
Bill fiddled with his fang earring. "Well, I know more or less everything that there is to know about her. But what I dont know is why she fell into this coma, or whatever it was. Shes kind of - well, if I was a few years younger." he said with a grin. "But saying that, shes actually 36...Boggles the mind."  
  
Lupin looked at Bill. "What ARE you talking about?"  
  
"When Fred and George told me about her, when she was at the Burrow for a few days, I didnt believe a word they were saying. That she seemed sweet enough, kind of tired, hot - "  
  
But Lupin had stood up. "I dont think I want to hear this."  
  
"Got a bit of a soft spot for her have we?" Bill asked cockily.  
  
"Acutally, I have a big soft spot for her. I dont want to hear your - " he stopped, looking over at Lana.  
  
"What shes been through cant be as bad as Harry, yet she attacks Snape, which, hey, not complaining about, but - "  
  
"It can be worse than what Harrys been through. And it was. He should think himself lucky that he cant remember that happened that night. Some of us can." Lupin said, lowering his voice and pointing to Lana.  
  
Lana had gotten changed into a pair of low, hip-hugging, slightly flared black leather trousers. Her black v-neck jumper had a white collar with white cuffs, like she had a white shirt on underneath. Black boots that brought her up to about eye-level with Lupin. Half of her was tied up, the bottom half down. Some of it framing her face, some of it hanging loose down her back. Lanas dark brown eyes had that same hollowed, haunted look that Sirius' had had. Flecked with pain and loss. Lupin sometimes hated looking at her, because she reminded him of Sirius too much. Then he hated himself for that. Lana smiled and waved at someone, but her eyes stayed the same. Hollowed. This was the first time hed ever seen Lanas eyes give her away. In the First War, shed had to learn from Moody how to control her emotions when around the Death Eaters.  
  
"See?" Bill said. "Mystique. You know, Im surpised someone hasnt called the Ministry about her. From what I know, being all mystery-like isnt good. Not now that everybody knows Voldemorts back."  
  
"Oh shut up Bill." Lupin said as Lana reached them.  
  
Putting on her false smile, she looked at Bill. "Hi." she said, dropping the smile but keeping her voice almost cheery. "How are you?"  
  
"Im fine," Bill said, staring at Lana.  
  
After a few moments later, Lana wondered why Bill was staring at her. "Have I got something on my face?" she asked, frowning.  
  
"No...What did you give to Harry earlier?" he asked, looking up at Lana.  
  
Her brow furrowed. "How do you know I gave him something?"  
  
Bill was shocked that shed admitted it. "I saw you slip something in his pocket. To be honest, I didnt think youd admit that youd given him something."  
  
"Why would I lie to you? I dont love you." Lana said simply.  
  
"How do you figure that one? I thought people didnt lie to people that they love."  
  
"I lie to the people that I love to protect them. I care nothing for your feelings, so I wont lie to you."  
  
More than a little taken aback, Bill stood up. "Thats...Ill think on that."  
  
"Well, Id love to stay and chat - But we have to go." Lupin said, standing up and putting his hand on Lanas back.  
  
"Yeah. Bye." Lana said.  
  
"Order business?" Bill asked.  
  
"No. Personal." Lana winked at Bill, knowing shed given him the wrong impression which was exactly what she wanted.  
  
"Wait a minute," Bill said. "Snape wanted me to tell you something. Well, he didnt, but, you should know anyway."  
  
Lana stopped and turned back to Bill. "Whatever that - "  
  
"Snape said it would be - " and he mimicked Snape very well "Prudent to remind you that Aurors no longer have the special privelages that they had during the Last War."  
  
"YOU were an Auror?" one of the twins said, appearing behind Bill."  
  
Lana was pissed off that Snape had dared say that to her, but it was true. She didnt have the same privelages as last time. Not that shed ever used an Unforgiveable Curse except when it came down to her or them.  
  
Lupin jumped at the sound of Freds voice. "Er, yes, yes Lana was an Auror."  
  
"Bloody hell!! Thats young! You must be really smart!" Fred exclaimed.  
  
"Something like that." Lana said sheepishly. Shed gotten into being an Auror after the first time theyd escaped Voldemort. Purely on her having...Other talents.  
  
"Too smart for her own good." Lupin said, giving Lana a little shove.  
  
"HOW immature!" she said, slapping his arm.  
  
George had appeared next to Fred. "WOW! Nice leather trousers! What would you do if they ripped and fell down?" he asked, grinning.  
  
"Probably cry." Lana said. "Im sorry, we really have to go." she said, feeling Lupin squeeze her arm.  
  
Lupin almost dragged Lana from the Leaky Cauldron.  
  
"Ow." Lana said, wincing. "Hurt much?" she said.  
  
"What are you playing at?" he asked accusingly.  
  
"What?! I dont get what you mean. I was just talking."  
  
"FLIRTING." Lupin said.  
  
Lana found it hard not to burst out laughing. "Youre accusing ME of flirting? Sirius is GONE. Okay, hes GONE. And - " she stopped, regaining her composure and doing what Moody had taught her. "If Ive got an itch I cant scratch, well...And I didnt see you exactly complaining with that kiss the other day."  
  
Lupin found himself looking at the ground, wishing hed never ssaid anything. And that arrogant little smirk she had on her face...Damn Moody for teaching her things like that. "Im sorry." he said quietly.  
  
"Doesnt matter." Lana said, feeling awkward. She looked at Lupin. "Wanna just forget it?" she asked.  
  
Lupin looked up. And smiled.  
  
Lana walked over and hugged him tight. A little taken aback, but used to Lana doing this now, she said something about letting all the people she loves know about it before something happens to her or them. Lupin hugged her back, breathing in the perfume that she always smelt of. Something from the Muggle world..Gucci or something.  
  
"Er, Lana..How are we getting to Hogsmeade?"  
  
"Well I would say Apparating, but...Not so good with that. And flying...I dont have a Firebolt yet. The Knight Bus? Psh. Id rather spend a year in Azkaban than sit in that death trap."  
  
Lupin stepped away and looked at Lana. She knew he was still feeling a little off, because of the Full Moon. He was a great guy. She couldnt understand why nobody wanted him. Hell, if she didnt love Sirius shed marry Lupin!  
  
She had a mischeivous grin on her face. In an innocent tone, she started speaking. "Well, you know Sirius' flying motorbike?"  
  
"Yeah, but nobody knows where it is."  
  
Lana was shaking her head at Lupin. "Moony Moony! You really think I could spend 4, 5 years with the Mauraders without picking up a few..Tricks?" she said, pulling a key out of her pocket.  
  
Lupin laughed, "Youve got to be kidding me? Youve got Padfoots motor somewhere?"  
  
"Yerp. Mint condition. Well, it should be. Shall we walk?" she said, turning to her right and walking into the Muggle World. 


	31. Searching

(NOTE : Will be updated tomorrow.. Its late but I got sick of writing long hand and decided to start typing. That was at....11pm...And Im tired. So its just this likkle bit..Almost finished the story now. Few more chapters...But...Then work on the sequel begins!!!)  
  
They walked for about 10 minutes, down the street from where the Leaky Cauldron was hidden, in silence.  
  
"Down here", said Lana, turning to her right and going down a dingy alleyway, turning right again and coming to an open space with about 10 garages in it.  
  
"Arthur would love this." Lupin said, and Lana nodded. "Youre father wasnt a Muggle, was he?"  
  
"Dont know who my father is, you know that." Lana said, heading for one of the middle garages.  
  
"How do you know so much about the Muggle World then?" he asked, following Lana.  
  
"I took Muggle Studies. Not that I got to finish school..." Lana trailed off, giving the door a kick.  
  
"True..But that was techinally your fault." he tormented her.  
  
"Psh. It was you and James and Sirius...Getting me to come out of school...Besides.." she kicked the door and twirled the key some more. "Dumbledore thought Id be more useful in the Order..." she kicked it again, and the door swung open. "Aha."  
  
Smiling broadly, she walked in and beckoned for Lupin to follow her. The room they walked into was dark, and obviously magically locked against Muggles. Lupin heard something click and the room was filled with a low orange light. In the middle of the room stood Sirius' big black motorbike, a Kawasaki Ninja or something, Lupin couldnt remember. Sirius had altered it magically, to make it fly and added a few extras, but Sirius never let anyone but Sirius drive it, so...  
  
Lana was over near the wall, where Sirius and hers matching jackets were hung up. Well, almost matching. Sirius' was black, whereas Lanas was red and black. Said "Lana" across the back in red. There were a few helmets lined up as well. Lana picked up Sirius jacket and looked at it.  
  
"Still smells like him." she said, then hung it back up. She grabbed a jacket that Lupin hadnt seen and threw it at him. "Yeah, err, if we do, you know, this thing, dont tell Sirius that I drove his motor. Hed kill me." Lana said, putting her jacket on.  
  
"I wont." Lupin said, laughing slightly as he put his jacket on. "I always feel stupid wearing this." he moaned, then his face dropped even more when Lana walked over and passed him a helmet.  
  
"Youll need this." Lana told him, matter-of-factly.  
  
"The way you drive..Ive got a good mind to have a crash mat hovering underneath us."  
  
"Oh shut up." she said, but not meaning it.  
  
Lana fastened the front of her jacket up, and flung her leg over the bike. She thought she looked pretty good, all in leather. Thing is, she looked ridiculous on the bike, way too small to really handle it, but she could anyway. Hello, witch, she thought, as Lupin put on his helmet and sat behind her.  
  
"Arent you putting one on?" he asked.  
  
"Oh yeah" she said, and leant over to the shelf and grabbed one, jamming it over her head as she steadied herself on the bike. "Arent you gonna hold on?"  
  
"I am." Lupin said, holding onto the back rail that was on the motorbike.  
  
"No, I mean, hold onto me, or youll go flying off."  
  
"Okay." Lupin put his hands on Lanas waist.  
  
"I mean it. Hold on." Lana told him sternly, as she tipped the bike to the side, turning the key and kicking off as the engine revved.  
  
They zoomed off and Lana hadnt noticed that the door had swung shut. Crashing through it, Lana screamed as the wood smashed into her, but didnt cut her. Lupin muttered "Reparo" and the door fixed itself. He noticed that Lana had taken the brunt of the crash, and he hopen she wasnt too injured. But he knew that she wouldnt be.  
  
**********15 MINUTES LATER**********  
  
Lupin and Lana arrived outside Lanas mother, Ericas, house. Decaying slightly from the lack of use, the tall trees that stood in front of it, seperating it from prying eyes were thick and full.  
  
Taking a deep breath, Lana turned to Lupin.  
  
"What are you so nervous about?" Lupin asked, looking at Lana.  
  
"Of what I might find. But more afraid of what I wont find." she answered, taking her wand out. Lana walked over to the huge iron gates and muttered "Alohomora" Looking back at Lupin, and beckoning for him to follow her, she continued. "And what Ill see. Dumbledore said something about because Ive been on another plane, Im suseptable to echoes and things that are on other planes."  
  
They walked up the driveway, pushing back the branches of the trees. "And I dont really listen to Dumbledore anyway." Lana added, bitterly.  
  
"You should. I dont understand why you dont - " Lupin stopped as they got to the front door.  
  
Lana flicked her wand and pushed the door open. "Yeah. You dont understand, because you dont know. The things he - the things he made me do for the Order."  
  
Walking inside the house, Lupin knew the subject was closed by the tone of Lanas voice. Sometimes he couldnt believe that she was back, and that she had come out of it all unharmed. She acted like she was fine, with the odd breakdown, but Lupin got the feeling that she was pretty fucking far from fine.  
  
"What are echoes?" asked Lupin.  
  
"Call yourself a Defence Against The Dark Arts teacher and you dont know what echoes are?" Lana teased, and she was walking slowly down the hallway. "When a wizard or witch inhabits a place for a long time, they leave an imprint of themselves on the property, like a fingerprint, but its a spiritual one. Its like - " she paused, not sure how to explain it. "Like - Like if I was at Grimmauld Place, and I went up to Buckbeaks room, Id probably see flashes of Sirius." And yet as she said the words, she knew she wasnt explaining it very well.  
  
Lupin nodded.  
  
"Again, I wasnt really paying attention."  
  
"That doesnt suprise me." said Lupin with a grin.  
  
Smiling, Lana slapped his arm. "Cheeky git."  
  
"You havent changed much you know." Lupin said.  
  
"Is that a good or bad thing?" Lana asked, looking at him.  
  
"Still trying to to figure that one out." he told her.  
  
"Me too."  
  
Lana stopped, pushed the door open to the lounge. Her breath caught in her chest as she stepped inside. The room had been totally destroyed. Stepping slowly into the middle of the room, she closed her eyes.  
  
"Sirius was pretty angry, after..." Lupin trailed off.  
  
Opening her eyes, she saw a flash of Sirius, throwing a lamp across the room. She ducked, and heard it smash. "Echoes." she whispered, standing up straight.  
  
Jumping to Sirius' defence, Lupin said. "You cant blame him. It did make sense."  
  
"Because I was there. He thought I was a part of it all. After he ran from Hagrid, he came here, to look for me...Thank God Sirius didnt find me...Trashed the room, but then he saw you..." Lana muttered to herself, but Lupin caught every word.  
  
"How do you know all this?" Lupin asked.  
  
"Echoes." she answered.  
  
"You can tell all this from echoes?"  
  
"Yes but I dont know how." Lana said shortly.  
  
"Why were you there at Godrics Hollow anyway?" asked Lupin, feeling his voice rise.  
  
"None of your business."  
  
"Oh I think it is." Lupin said, walking to Lana.  
  
"Its not. Drop it." said Lana, moving away from Lupin.  
  
"Tell me!"  
  
"NO!" Lana shouted. "And besides," she said, lowering her voice. "We dont have time."  
  
"Make time. What were you doing there?"  
  
Lana frowned. "You really dont know do you?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Dumbledore, in all these years, never told you? Any of you?"  
  
"No."  
  
Lana snorted. "Doesnt suprise me. Sirius knew tho. He did catch up with me. I was in, well, a state really."  
  
"Tell me. Did you help Peter?"  
  
"WHAT? NO! Dont you - I thought you - "  
  
"I didnt mean it like that."  
  
"Then what the fuck did you mean it like? No, forget it. You wanna know what I was doing there? Peter. Yes. I was helping Peter. I was at his house to protect him if Voldemort came. Peter never was as talented. Anyway, when he decided to pay Voldemort a visit, he used some kind of Dark Spell on me. Next thing I know, Im chained up, theyre using Crucio on me, and other things. I heard Peter tell Him. I begged Peter not to. Screamed and begged. Voldemort thought it would be amusing for me to watch my friends and Godson die." Her voice shook with anger, with fright at remembering, with hurt.  
  
Lupin felt sick. He couldnt believe it. No wonder she hadnt wanted to tell him.  
  
"Happy now? That what you wanted to hear?" Lana asked angrily, eyes shining. "Everyday, Lily and James' screams are in the back of my head. No matter how hard I try, I can never get them to go away. No matter how hard I cry, I can never get the sound of Harry crying out of my head. THEYRE THERE ALL THE TIME! 24 HOURS A DAY, 7 DAYS A WEEK."  
  
"I - Lana, I dont know what to - "  
  
She put her hands up. "So there you have it. I havent tears enough for what happened to Lily and James, to Harry, to me."  
  
And with that, Lana walked past Lupin, into the hallway and up the stairs.  
  
"LANA!" Lupin shouted, running after her. He stood at the bottom of the stairs. Lana was a few steps up.  
  
"Yeah?" Lana asked, turning to him. There was a hardness in her voice. In her eyes. All trace of the frightened little girl of a few moments ago, gone.  
  
"Its not safe on your own."  
  
"Fine. Ill check my mothers room. You can go check my room. I dont know what were looking for. Anything."  
  
Lupin sighed. "Cutting yourself off doesnt help."  
  
"Worked pretty good for the last few years." Lana said, turning around and carrying on up the stairs.  
  
"What am I supposed to be looking for?" Lupin shouted after her.  
  
"I dont know!"  
  
"This is gonna take a while..." Lupin muttered. He didnt know how she did it. In denial much, he thought. Oh God. Now I sound like a teenager. Shaking his head, he started walking up the stairs. He didnt know how to handle what Lana had told him. He never suspected Lana of doing anything like Peter, but he did know that she had been at Godrics Hollow. Sirius had seen her. Hagrid had seen her. They knew that she hadnt only just got there, she was too...Lupin didnt know. A lot of things about that night didnt add up, but a few things slotted into place. He still didnt know why Lana hated Dumbledore.  
  
Lana almost ran down the hall and into her mothers room. She threw the helmet onto the bed and leant against the door, breathing heavily. Looking in the mirror opposite her, she said - "Keep it together. Keep it together."  
  
This room was untouched. Perfect as it had been when her mother was at home. Key word being *when*, Lana thought. Lana had never let anyone in, even when it was the Orders HQ. Trying to push Lily and James screams to the back of her head was getting harder these days. Everybody else had had 15 years to deal with it. Lana had 3 weeks. On the other plane of existence, things had been different. But it was starting to get blurry. It was like, shed been frozen, and then when shed woken up, it had all re- started again.  
  
Looking around the room, Lanas eyes fixed on the huge fireplace that was opposite her mothers bed. Taking out her wand, she muttered something and a huge red and orange fire erupted. She unzipped her jacket and laid it on the bed as she sat down, warming herself by the fire. It had dropped a couple of degrees, and Lana shivered slightly.  
  
No doubt Harry will be asking a lot of questions soon, especially if hes reading that journal. Although, what his mother and father wrote should answer them. And the extra bits that I added after, Lana thought. Everythings just as screwed up as it was 15 years ago. But if I do right by Harry, which I intend to do, and will give up anything and everything to do, maybe...Maybe what? Itll ease your guilt?  
  
"Stop it." she told herself out loud, staring into the fire. Concentrate on something else. On finding it. Finding what? Trust Sirius to be cryptic. I bet hes laughing at me now.  
  
**********THE GHOST ROADS**********  
  
Sirius was bored. For the past 2 days, all he had seen were tribal warriors in the jungle. If he was supposed to be learning something from all this, then he had totally missed the point.  
  
"Cant even fight for my non-life." he complained for the 5th time that day. Or was it minute? He lost track of time.  
  
The boy shook his head. "Sir, if you are going to help your lover - "  
  
"Shes not." Sirius turned to the boy. "Lanas not my lover."  
  
The boy raised his neat little blonde eyebrows at Sirius.  
  
Sirius scowled. "I dont know what she is." He sighed. The boy was still looking at him. "Fine. Lanas my lover. I love her. She loves me."  
  
The boy smiled. "Finally, you admit it. I wonder."  
  
Sitting down on a rock, Sirius put his head in his hands. "You wonder what?"  
  
"If you know yet. If youve realised."  
  
"Dont play cryptic." Sirius was getting angry.  
  
"You did," the boy pointed out. "Shes looking right now you know. That Dumbledore showed her something. Something he shouldnt have. Shes going to risk everything. Again."  
  
Frowning, Sirius looked up. "Dumbledore showed Lana something? And Lana actually listened? Thats a first. And, what do you mean, again?"  
  
The boy merely looked down at Sirius.  
  
"Dont do this. You always do that. Say something and then dont explain it." His temper was rising. He was sick of this shit.  
  
"You were there. You should know. You looked but you didnt see." the boy answered.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Sirius thought for a moment. "You said Lana will risk everything again. Shes risked everything before. I know this. She saved me and Lily and James. Almost got killed herself."  
  
The boy looked at Sirius, urging him on.  
  
"But thats not the time you mean is it? Lanas done something, or somethings, that I dont know about hasnt she?" Sirius heart started pounding. Now he was scared.  
  
The boy nodded. "Do you want to see?"  
  
"I dont know why youre asking me because youre going to show me no matter what I say." Sirius said simply.  
  
Again, the boy nodded. "Are you sure youre ready for this?"  
  
"As ready as Ill ever be."  
  
The boy walked over to Sirius, and grabbed Sirius' wrists. Sirius felt the now familiar sensation like he had been thrown into water, then pulled out very quickly.  
  
They were stood in a corridor that Sirius didnt recognise. 


	32. Sleeping With The Enemy

( NOTE : Im going to add some parts into this that Sirius does NOT see, but I just wanted to write them anyway! In case you cant guess, (which Im sure you all can) Ill put (*) at the start and end of a section which he doesnt see. This is mostly flashback, with Sirius watching it. Lana and Lucius thoughts are in brackets. Also a little background on to why Lanas in that situation is in the brackets as well. Not sure about Barty Crouch Jrs age....but oh well. And...Imagine Lucius Malfoy at 21....Tall, blonde, powerful...Not the idiot in Chamber of Secrets. *shudder* :P)  
  
**********THE GHOST ROADS**********  
  
Sirius looked around at the wide corridor. To his right was the Malfoy Family tree. There was a scorch mark where he, Sirius, had been burnt off. So had Andromeda. Sirius pulled a face. So he was in the Malfoy house.  
  
This cant mean anything good, Sirius thought. He saw some stairs to the left of him, and he slowly started walking up them.  
  
********************************************************************** (*)Lana leaned in closer, and ran her hand down his chest. Finally he had invited her back to the Malfoy estate. Shed been working on Lucius for about a week, pretending shed split up with Sirius, that she had no idea what the Order of the Phoenix was, pretending she was sick of Dumbledore. When Dumbledore had expelled her from school, he told her that he thought she would be more useful working for the Order. Told her he had a special assignment for her. Little did she know what it would entail.  
  
Lucius looked at Lana, his grey eyes shining. It had only been a week since he had seen her in the Leaky Cauldron, crying into her Butterbeer. Gained her trust. She was pretty stupid, Lucius thought. She should have known he was one of the Death Eaters that attacked her, Sirius, Lily and James. Stupid girl. Voldemort had been most pleased. Recruit her Lucius, Voldemort had told him. By any means necessary. Lucius was the reason Lana had gotten out alive. That had been almost 2 months ago.  
  
"Had this in mind all along, did we Lana?" he asked.  
  
She raised an eyebrow and undid a button on his robe, traced a line across the little bit of flesh that was showing, "Umm mmm.." Lana murmered, looking at him. (Oh God what am I doing, what am I doing...Im still with Sirius..Oh God..No, dont think of that..Concentrate..Youve got his trust...Now use it to your advantage.)  
  
Lucius didnt hesitate. (Lana was stupid, yes, but powerful. And damn sexy. Not even his fiance, Narcissa, did it for him like Lana had ever since she was 14. Narcissa was just a convinience. If it worked well with Lana, he intended on marrying her instead. Dumbledore had expelled her for using the Cruciatus curse on some students in the year below her. Barty Crouch had confirmed the rumors. He was in Lanas year at school. )  
  
Pulling Lana to him, he kissed her hard on the lips. He ran his hands up in the inside of her shirt, feeling her flat, taut stomach and running them around her back, pulling her top over her head as Lana pulled his robe off.  
  
Lana resisted the urge to shove herself away from Lucius. This past week had already put an incredible strain on her relationship with Sirius. Lying to him. (All my own fault, Lana thought. If I hadnt said that I thought there was a traitor...How else would Voldemort know where we were going to be at that exact moment? That she didnt trust Snape, that she thought it was a good idea to get another mole inside...She wouldnt be here. Sacrifices have to be made, Dumbledore said. And Lucius is in Voldemorts inner circle. Lucius had quite the thing for you in school, so your...Talents will make him an easy target. And do NOT tell Sirius, Dumbledore had stressed. He will get insanely jealous, and blow your cover.)  
  
But she couldnt help a moan esacping her lips when Lucius kissed her again more passionately and then reached up with one hand to cup her breast. Lana tore his shirt off, and ran her hands down his muscular and scarred chest, opening her eyes for a split second and seeing the Death Eaters mark on the inside of his arm.  
  
For a split second, she felt terrified. She knew she would pay the price of her life if she was discovered. She was glad Dumbledore had spread the rumors for her expulsion, it gave her a certain edge.  
  
"Upstairs." he said, grabbing Lana and disapparating with her in his arms. They fell onto his bed.  
  
(Disapparating with another person...Dark Magic.)  
  
"Im a dangerous man, Lana.."  
  
"I know" she said, a little breathless as his hand travlleled further up her leg, pushing her skirt up. (How corny, she thought to herself. No. Dont think. Just feel. Shut yourself off. Isnt that what Snape said he did? Detatched himself from his emotions? Not that he had any...) Lana let out a derisive laugh.  
  
Lucius gave Lana an odd look.  
  
(Think fast, Lana thought)  
  
Lana grabbed Lucius and pulled him down onto her, kissing him extremely passionately, and he was loving every moment of this, and, to Lanas disgust...so was she. She bent her left leg at the knee as his hand reached into her panties and pressed his fingers against her.  
  
"Stop." Lana whispered.  
  
He didnt.  
  
"Stop." she said again, a little louder.  
  
"What?" Lucius said.  
  
"Stop it." Lana said, knowing this was gonna cost her, and cost he heavily.  
  
Lucius glared down at her, that dangerous look in his eyes that was just not sexy.  
  
(Oh God oh God, crap crap crap...I cant do this. But I have to. Voldemorts planning a big hit, and I need to find out who it is. We cant protect everyone in the Order. This is the only way..Oh crap.)  
  
Lana, regretting everything so far, and dreading what was coming, smiled sexily up at Lucius.  
  
"Me on top." she said, grabbing him by the arms and pushing him off her....(*) ********************************************************************  
  
"Be careful," warned the boy. "You might not like what you see. And you cannot change anything that has already happened."  
  
As usual, Sirius ignored the boy. Coming to the top of the stairs, there was a short corridor and a pair of huge black doors. Not that he could move anything physical anyway. Stepping through the doors, he was in a huge room that was quite obviously a bedroom. Clothes had been flung on the floor.  
  
There was a huge, cast iron bed in the centre of the room. Two figures were lay under the black and white sheets. One of them stirred. Her long dark hair covered her face and from this distance, Sirius couldnt tell who it was. She turned to the person next to them and shook them. When the second person didnt wake up, the girl let out a huge sigh of relief.  
  
As she pushed her hair from her face, and looked forward, staring at a spot a few feet to the left of Sirius, Sirius' breath caught in his chest.  
  
It was Lana.  
  
In Lucius Malfoys house.  
  
In a bed in his house.  
  
Lana grabbed a white sheet and wrapped it around her. Sirius noticed the scar on her left arm and figured this must be around Christmas, when Lana was supposed to be in her 7th year.  
  
"LANA!" he shouted, as Lana walked across the room, careful not to make a noise.  
  
The boy shook his head. "They cannot hear you."  
  
The man on the bed stirred. Sirius looked around and saw that it was Lucius Malfoy, his short blonde hair mussed up.  
  
"Where are you going?" he drawled.  
  
"Im taking a shower." Lana answered, thinking (Im going to run scalding hot water on the places you touched me).  
  
"The bathrooms that way." Lucius said, pointing at a door on the opposite side of the room.  
  
Him waking up had rattled Lana, and she wasnt happy.  
  
"Thanks." she said, walking hurriedly across the room.  
  
Lucius looked Lana up and down and Sirius was fuming. Lucius flopped back down on the bed. "Want any company?" he asked.  
  
"No." Lana told him icily and slammed the door behind her.  
  
"Just crown yourself the Ice-Queen." muttered Lucius, staring up at the ceiling.  
  
Sirius was torn by what he had just witnessed. He couldnt, wouldnt believe that Lana would do this to him. She had sex with Lucius Malfoy. And when she made such a big deal out of it when they first started going out...Sirius hadnt slept with Lana till theyd been going out about 8 months...And here she was, sleeping with someone that she hated. He thought sex had meant something to her. Obviously not, if she was gallavanting with Lucius Malfoy, of all people. No, wait, Lana would never..  
  
"ITS A TRICK! A LIE! LANA WOULD NEVER - WHY ARE YOU SHOWING ME THIS?"  
  
The boy looked at him calmly. "It is not a trick. I only know what was, and what is."  
  
"YOURE LYING!" Sirius shouted, wanting to strike the boy for lying to him.  
  
The boy pointed at the door Lana had just gone through. Sirius looked at the boy quizzically, angry eyes burning into the boys.  
  
Lana had slammed into the the bathroom, her head pounding. (How much HAD I drunk last night? Must have been a lot, too much, if I finally managed to bring myself to sleep with that.) She was disgusted at herself, like something dirty had crawled inside her, gotten under her skin, and it was itching, and she couldnt get it out or make it stop. Her eyes stung with tears, and she put a hand over her mouth to muffle a sob.  
  
Sirius walked through the door, and he stood in the corner watching. He watched Lana intently.  
  
Walking over to the shower, she started crying harder. She turned the shower on full power, to drown out the sound of her crying. Lana pulled the sheet around her tighter as she leant against the wall. She slid down it, her arms wrapped around her knees, head on her arms, sobbing.  
  
The scar on Lanas arm was still slightly scabbed and red. Sirius frowned. She got that at the end of November, when her and Moody had been out on patrol. Theyd been attacked, and Moody had saved Lanas life. Created the unbreakable bond between two wizards. Sirius figured it must be mid- December. She wasnt even 18 yet. And the war ended just before Lana was 19.  
  
A sudden movement brought Sirius out of his thoughts. Lana had crawled across the bathroom and was now vomiting into the toilet. "Oh God oh God oh God oh God." she was murmering. After flushing the toilet, Lana wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and leant against the wall. She pushed her hair from her face. "What have I done..." Lana paused for a moment, then she started coughing violently.  
  
Sirius rushed over to her and sat in front of her. He was angry, hurt, upset and confused, but something was wrong with Lana.  
  
Her eyes were bloodshot and she stopped coughing after about a minute. Her hand was on her chest as she slowed her breathing. Staring straight ahead, right at, or rather, through, Sirius, she gasped - "Sirius."  
  
"I thought you said she couldnt see me?" asked Sirius.  
  
They boy nodded. "I did say that."  
  
Turning back to Lana, who was now coughing again, Sirius felt his eyes fill up. He was even more angry when the door opened and Lucius stood looking at Lana.  
  
He was wearing an emerald green silk robe. "I thought you might have changed your mind about wanting some company." he said, then walked and stood in the middle of the room, still some feet away from Lana. "Whats wrong with you?" he asked suspisously.  
  
"Hangover. Like you give a shit anyway." Lana said spitefully, between coughs.  
  
Taking out his wand, he pointed it straight at Lanas chest.  
  
Lana felt that terror again, only this time it seemed to last forever, not just a split second.  
  
Sirius, overcome with rage and jealousy, flung himself at Lucius. Nothing happened tho. Sirius just went straight through him.  
  
"I did tell you." the boy said.  
  
A few tears fell from Lanas eyes, and the coughing ceased a little.  
  
"Curo." he said, and Lanas coughing stopped.  
  
Her head stopped pounding, and she no longer felt sick. "What did you do?"  
  
"Cured you." he raised his eyebrows. "Why are you still crying?"  
  
"Shock." Lana said, realising how pathetic she must look, sitting here with a sheet around her, crying.  
  
Sirius, in the meantime, had moved and was stood between Lana, who was sat on the floor, and Lucius, who was stood up, his wand still pointed at her. The mirror had gotten steamy from the shower. He could barely breathe. The betrayal. This was past tears, past anger. Hed been betrayed by the person that hed give up everything for. By the one person who could have gotten him out of Azkaban but didnt. He loved her more than anything, but when he looked at her now, he felt disgusted, because shed let that thing touch her. She hadnt even respected him enough to tell her. He wouldnt have liked it, but for somone like Lana who prized honesty above anything to lie to him, to decieve him. Talk about irony. Next time he dragged her into the Ghost Roads, he was going to throttle her.  
  
Lana avoided Lucius eyes.  
  
His eyes were still narrowed, and had a glint in them that Lana didnt like. He walked quickly over to her, and grabbed her by the top of her right arm, and pulled her up roughly.  
  
"HEY! GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER!" Sirius shouted as he saw Lana wince in pain. No, she deserves it, he thought.  
  
"Ow!" Lana said, when Lucius grabbed her other arm and yanked her to him, their bodies touching.  
  
He tightened his grip. "Lana. Im risking everything. My estate, my money, my family, my reputation." Fully aware of the pain he was causing Lana, he yanked her once more and tightened his grip even more.  
  
Tears prickled and Lana winced, trying a little to get out of his grasp. "Youre hurting me."  
  
Chuckling, he said "I didnt hear you complaining last night."  
  
Lana knew some serious acting was needed to get her out of this one. "Im not complaining....Do it again." a smile playing across her lips.  
  
Lucius lost the glint in his eyes and smirked, loosening his grip a little.  
  
"Youre not the only one risking things you know." Lana said. "Im close to people who are close to Dumbledore. And these friends of mine are in this...What did you call it? Order of the Pigeon?"  
  
"Phoenix, Lana, Phoenix." he corrected her.  
  
"I know Dumbledore expelled me, but..." Shaking her head, Lana continued. "If he even suspects foul play, Im - "  
  
She was stopped by Lucius planting a kiss on her lips, he let go of Lanas arms and grabbed her ass.  
  
Sirius couldnt believe it. He couldnt belive it even more when a moan escaped Lanas lips. He fell to his knees, barely comprehending the depths of Lanas deciet... 


	33. Blood Ties

( NOTE : will update the chapter 2mra or later in the week. iceprincess12 : I love youuuu and ur mega stories!!!!! yay !!!)  
  
Lana was sat on the end of her mothers bed, staring into the fire, thinking about what Sirius had meant.  
  
Her breath caught in her throat and a hand gripped Lanas throat, tight. Her eyes flashed around, trying to look for whatever it was that had grabbed her. She couldnt see anything tho, and started grabbing at it, trying to pull it off as it was choking her. She screamed as the hand flung her across the room, at the wall opposite the fire.  
  
Grabbing her wand, she said "Revealay", but since she didnt know where to aim it, the thing was invisible and the spell had no effect except the jet of bright blue light smashed a mirror when it hit it.  
  
She hit the wall with a dull thud and groaned and she slid down the wall. Shed almost reached the floor when the hand grabbed her again and started choking her, pushing her higher up the wall.  
  
Dropping her wand, Lana tried to kick or punch or pull the thing off of her, but it didnt work and she was starting to see stars in front of her eyes. Her arms and legs were flailing, and Lana managed to grasp whatever it was and she loosened hits grip by throwing both of her knees against it.  
  
Falling to the floor, she was gasping for breath, she saw Lupin rush in.  
  
"Lana? You okay?" he asked, looking around.  
  
"Fine, just being choked to death - stay back!" she said as he began to walk further into the bedroom.  
  
Suddenly, Lana was flung across the room, and the hand grabbed at her throat again. Cursing, she kicked out at it again but it didnt make a difference. Instead, of strangling her, it lifted her up.  
  
Lupin was unsure of what to do. Erica had been an Unspeakable, true, so God knows what she had in here, but he doubted she would have something in here that would purposefully attack her daughter. He was confused. Hed never seen anything like this before. Mainly because its invisible, he reminded himself. The bloody thing was attacking Lana and there was nothing he could do.  
  
Lana let out a piercing scream that chilled Lupin to the bone. Looking over at her, he saw that the thing was now scratching at her, and seeing Lana hovering, flinging her arms and legs at something that was ripping her to shreds also chilled him to the bone.  
  
A morbid fascination crept over Lupin as he saw that the blood was being pulled from her, by something invisible, from certain parts of her body. Her legs, her arms, and two cuts on her chest. 6 lanes of blood, being pulled out. They joined together about a foot in front of Lana, and then, just as they got to the fireplace, they spread out again. The blood rushed through the top of the fireplace, highlighting certain parts of it. He looked at the fireplace, then back to Lana who had stopped screaming and was now lying on the floor.  
  
"Lana?" said Lupin, striding across the room towards her. She sat up, and looked at the fireplace. "Moony look! Words!"  
  
"Huh?" he said, looking at Lana.  
  
Scrambling to the fireplace, Lana stared at the blood words in fascination. "Words. When I was a kid I thought it was a pattern, but look - " she pointed to where the blood had filled in parts of it, revealing some foreign language.  
  
Turning to look at Lupin, who was looking less than impressed. "Youve just been almost strangled and sliced at, and all you care about is this bloody language? You could have DIED."  
  
"Oh lighten up Moony" she said, waving a hand at him.  
  
But he just frowned at her even more. "You dont have a scratch on you." he commented.  
  
Lana looked down at her chest and legs and arms. "Hm. So I dont." she commented flippantly, turning back the writing.  
  
"How can you just act like this?" Lupin asked, getting angry. "You almost DIED. And you dont care. Thats always been your problem."  
  
"What has? You know what, we can talk about this later." She carried on looking at the writing.  
  
Lupin sighed. "What does it say?"  
  
"I dont know. Its some kind of weird language." Lana said. "kuun kehran kelmean -" Was as far as Lana got before Lupin grabbed her and put his hand over her mouth, and one around her waist. "mmmfmfmsj"  
  
"Are you insane? Did all that time on another place scramble your brain?"said Lupin harshly.  
  
"msjnommmmmf" Lana said.  
  
"Do you promise not to read outloud again?" he asked and she nodded. He removed his hand from her mouth.  
  
"That hurt." she said quietly.  
  
"Sorry, I didnt realise Id been so rough."  
  
"No. Not that." she told him quietly. She moved away from him and picked up her wand. "Accio parchment." she muttered, and some parchment zoomed into the room.  
  
Lupin knew that hed hurt her by mentioning the other plane. He hadnt known this could hurt her, because she never spoke about what happened while she was on that plane. He only knew that something great and something terrible had happened to her. And that she had learnt about her powers. Her *other* powers, is what she had said. What they were, he didnt know. He had only heard about them from Sirius, James and Lily. Lupin wasnt there, he was in full wolf mode by then.  
  
Lana sat on the bed, and a black line was coming from her wand as she copied the words down. Red blood against the white of the fireplace.  
  
"kuun kehran kelmean alta tuli tunne. kuin varjo kuin uni menneiden aikojen kuin kuollut, vainaa seuruassa elavien." Lana handed the piece of parchment to Lupin and he read it.  
  
"Sorry. I really am, Nay, I just - Didnt realise. Talk to me."  
  
"I am talking to you. I think we should get out of here. Fuck knows what other things Erica had in here." Lana said sharply, grabbing her jacket and pulling it on, and the helmet in her left hand, wand in her right.  
  
"No. I mean. Talk to me." Lupin said slowly, looking into Lanas eyes.  
  
It clicked. But she wasnt going to tell him. "Theres nothing to talk about." she said shortly, looking away.  
  
Lupin put his hand under Lanas chin and made her look up at him. "I wish I could break that wall down." he said softly.  
  
"What wall?" she said defiantly, knowing full well what he meant.  
  
"The one around you." Lupin moved his hand. "Why is it there?"  
  
"Why do you think?" she said, the hardness in her voice that had been developing over the past few weeks there. "Everyone I love gets hurt or killed. Love is weakness. Were fighting a damn war. We dont have time for weakness."  
  
And with that, she jammed her wand into her pocket, her helmet on, took the parchment from Lupin and shoved it into her pocket and walked out of the room.  
  
**********THE LEAKY CAULDRON**********  
  
Harry walked into the Leaky Cauldron, excited at what he had found. From the peeps hed had at it while he was walking back, it looked like it had a lot of photos and newspaper cuttings in it.  
  
He barely registered the Weasleys, who had now all arrived at the Leaky Cauldron, when he walked past them. Much to Ginnys dismay, he just waved and carried on walking.  
  
Ron walked out of the toilets and bumped into Harry.  
  
"Need new glasses Harry?" joked Ron, who had grown 2 inches in the past 3 weeks. He was dressed in dark denim jeans and trainers, with a white t- shirt on.  
  
"What?" Harry said, coming out of his thoughts. He blinked and looked at Ron. "Sorry mate, Im just a little distracted."  
  
"How are you Ron? Im fine Harry, you? Yeah Im okay. Thanks for asking Harry." said Ron, grinning at his best friend.  
  
Harry grinned and pulled Ron into a rough, one armed hug. "Youre welcome."  
  
The smile faded from Rons face as he studied Harry. Taller, thinner, he had a shadowed look about his usually brilliantly bright green eyes. He looked...Tired. "Are you okay?" he asked seriously.  
  
"Honestly? Honestly no." said Harry quietly, avoiding Rons eyes. Although, Rons presence had cheered him up greatly.  
  
"Still thinking about Sirius?" Ron asked gently, absent-mindley scratching one of the scars that the brains had left on his arms.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Harry, I - Im sorry. I should have done more. I dont - "Ron asked, leaning against the wall.  
  
Harry put a hand up to tell Ron to stop talking. "I dont wanna talk about it. You were almost killed. I put everyone who I love in danger, all because of a stupid dream. And Sirius paid the price of "me loving to play the hero"." Harry echoed Hermiones words, and theyd been ringing true ever since that day.  
  
"Harry, dont blame yourself. You cant." Ron didnt know what to say. This was more Hermione or Ginnys area, not his. Desperate for a change of subject, Ron said. "Wheres that wacky Lana?" he asked.  
  
"Shes not wacky." Harry said, on the defensive straight away. Then he frowned. "You know her?"  
  
Ron had landed himself at the recieving end of Harrys temper again. No point in lying, he thought. "She spent a day or so at the Burrow. Apparently she went psycho and they had to get her out of the way of the Muggles. Or so Fred says."  
  
"Lanas not a psycho at all." But upon thinking for a moment, Harry said "Shes a bit - wild, but...She has her reasons."  
  
"Irresponsible is the word your looking for." came a voice that Harry wasnt nearly as pleased to hear. Snape appeared from around the corner.  
  
Harry wasnt in school now, and Snapes treatment of Sirius when he was alive and Snapes remarks to Lana about Sirius had pissed him off, and he wasnt going to take anymore of Snapes crap.  
  
"Shouldnt you be wearing body armour? Lana might decide to punch you again." Harry said, eyes boring into Snape and an amused smile played on Harrys lips.  
  
Ron burst out laughing and then stopped when Snape glared at him.  
  
Face reddening, Snape said ,"I see the famous Harry Potters got his faithful sidekick Weasley back with him then." He swept off, walking down the corridor.  
  
Harry had to fight the urge to throw his newly-found book at the back of Snapes head.  
  
"Im not taking any of his crap when we get back to school. Screw the House Cup, he can knock as many points off as he wants." Harry said, angrily.  
  
Ginny sat watching Harry and Ron from a distance. She really wanted Harry to notice her this year, despite telling Hermione that she had given up on him. She was also worried as to how Harry was coping with Sirius' death, and the newly arrived Lana. Deciding she was going to go and talk to him, she stood up.  
  
"Snapes a git Harry, he always has been." said Ron. "Do you know when Hermiones supposed to be getting here?"  
  
"Hermione?" Harry asked, suprised. "No, I dont. I didnt know all you guys were going to be here."  
  
"So youre not going to throw a paddy this year then?" Ron asked, smirking.  
  
"WHAT! I DID NOT THROW A PADDY!" Harry said, outraged. Then, realising that Ron was mocking him, laughed. "No. Lana told me a lot of things. Some that she shouldnt, and Ive only been away for 2 weeks, and with the Dursleys being afraid of Lupin and everyone..."  
  
"Hey Harry." Ginny said brightly, standing inbetween Ron and Harry. Ginny was dressed in a pair of dark brown cord trousers and a white jumper. Her bright red hair had been neatly straightened and cut to just below her shoulders. She had grown an inch or so, but was still a little bit smaller than Harry. Just right to look into his green eyes, she thought, glad that nobody could read her mind. Now aged 15, Ginny had grown into herself. Her face was still a little chubby, but she had cheekbones that angled her face, and she was skinny. Ginny wanted a body like Hermiones, small and curvy.  
  
Harry stared.  
  
"Hello? Earth to Harry!" Ron said, nudging his best friend.  
  
Ginny felt her face reddening under Harrys gaze.  
  
"Sorry....Just thinking," Harry said quickly, "Hey Ginny." he said, smiling at her.  
  
"What you got there?" she asked, indicating the journal.  
  
"Oh, you mean this?" Harry said.  
  
Ginny nodded.  
  
Why am I talking like an idiot? Harry thought. Reminds me of when I used to act like this around Cho...  
  
"No, she means the other book." Ron said sarcastically. He realised hed spent too much time around Fred and George.  
  
"I think its a journal. Lana gave me a key to a Gringotts vault, its full of her, Sirius and my parents old stuff. Mostly my parents." he said quietly.  
  
"Oh Harry." Ginny said quietly, wanting to hug him. "How are you, you know, with Sirius and - "  
  
"Well Im sick of people asking me about that for one." snapped Harry, then regretting it.  
  
Ginny was a little taken aback. "Sorry for caring." she snapped back, and turned on her heels, marching back to sit with Bill and Charlie.  
  
"Nice one mate." Ron said, wondering if Ginny was okay.  
  
"Ill see you later" Harry said, walking past Ron and going to his room. 


	34. Journal

Harry stamped up the stairs and walked quickly down the hallway and slammed into Room 12. He slammed it that hard that the glass in the top of the door shattered, but it repaired itself.  
  
Sitting down on his bed, Harry kicked off his shoes. He shuffled back so he was leaning against the wall. He noted that it was a double bed, and he was glad for the extra space.  
  
The journal was bound in black leather, with gold letters on the front. "The Journal of the Maurders. (with sections from the women.)" Harry grinned at the title of it, and carefully opened it.  
  
The first page was a photo of everyone from the original Order of the Phoenix. The same one that Moody had shown him. The caption simply read "Order of the Phoenix" with a list of names underneath. Harry saw that Lanas last name was Madison-Black. So they were married? Harry thought, confused. Never saw a ring on Sirius' finger. He never even mentioned his own wife? Not nice, he thought. And strange. The next page had James, Sirius, Peter and Remus on. Underneath it read "Prongs, Padfoot, Wormtail and Moony." They were all there, no older than 18. He felt a surge of rage that Pettigrew was on the photo, acting all buddy-buddy with them, when he would betray them and wreck their lives forever.  
  
The anger disappeared as Harry looked at the opposite page. It was his mother, Lily with Lana. He got a bit of a shock looking at this one, but only because Lana looked so young. He figured she must have been 16. His mothers bright green eyes looked at him, and he felt a surge of love for the mother he would never know. They were wearing matching outfits, and Lana was a good 4 inches smaller than his mother, and it made him smile. They had their arms wrapped around each other and were laughing, although the photo made no noise.  
  
Below this photo, was the caption "Lily and Lana B.O.F.F." with a little star. Beneath this photo was another 2. Lily and James - Harrys parents. Gazing lovingly into each others eyes. Tears prickled behind Harrys eyes. The second photo was Lana and Sirius. He frowned at this one. It looked like they were arguing. But even as he stared at the photo, they hugged each other, and grinned up at Harry. The caption read - "They attained the unattainable." Next to it, which he recognised as Lanas writing, she had written "So were not good enough then?! :P" and then next to that, which was Sirius writing, it said "Nope, youre not good enough. Youre too good ;)" to which Lana had written "Aww baby xxx"  
  
The next 15 or so pages were just photos of the Maurders, Lily, Lana, members of the Order, Moody, Dumbledore, and a few others. On one photo, that was just Peter (there was single photos of all of them) in a thick black marker pen, someone had written "traitor" over his photo and made a big cross over it. Probably Lana, he thought, looks like something shed do.  
  
The photos were in random order, with some of them as young as around 12 or 13, Harry thought. Lupin still has the same tired and pale complexion; Sirius looked really different, but the young and handsome man he had once been shone through at times; his father was dead; and he didnt really give a shit what Pettigrew looked like. His mother was dead, and there were a few differences to Lana. She had a great scar on her left arm;her eyes were hollowed and gave off that same haunted look as Sirius' had; (Harry had wondered on occasion if shed been in Azkaban) and her hair was longer.  
  
He laughed as he came across a photo of Lana and Lupin wrestling, he was kicking her ass and she was not happy. The last photo was of them all at the Christmas Ball of their 7th year (obviously Lanas 5th). Peter and his date were on the left, then Lupin and his girl, who Harry recognised but couldnt work out who it was, then it was Lana and Sirius, and on the right, Lily and James. Lily and Lana were obviously trying to hold Sirius and James steady. The caption read. "Drunk, as usual, on the biggest night of our school lives!"  
  
Harry wondered what Lana meant by "you might find things in there that you dont like." He loved it so far!  
  
When he turned the next page, he understood what Lana had meant.  
  
Here was the newspaper reports he had seen briefly.  
  
Reports on Voldemort. Photos of Death Eaters, with information scrawled around them, their specialities, weaknesses, positions at the Ministry, etc. No doubt Lana had gotten most of that information. Notes on the Dark Arts - spells that they had just discovered that Voldemort was using, their effects, who could cast them. Obituaries. Benjy Fenwick. His grandparents, on both sides. A few other people. Harry was skimming them fast because he didnt want to read them. Around 5 pages of them, then came the theories. Handwritten by Lana, Lily and the Maurders, were anti-dark arts spells, theories on why Voldemort wanted certain people dead, on who he had sent. Harry noticed, that three names popped up most often : Bellatrix, Lucius and Nott. Seemed they were the trio Voldemort sent on his high-profile killings and kidnappings. Death reports. Photos of the scenes, and they had been careful not to stick any of the bodies, if there was any body left, into the journal. However, there were a few horrific photos that Harry wished he hadnt seen. 10 pages worth of newspaper articles on the killings and the robberies. Yet more Obituraies. Mentions of Avery and Macnair using the Cruciatus Curse on Lana until Moody had rescued her. His father had written about when Voldemort had captured him, tried to recruit him using the Imperius Curse, and how he had thrown it off quite easily.  
  
Slamming the book shut, he closed his eyes. Why would his parents want him to see this? Why would his Godparents want him to see this? Since Harry only had 1 of the 4 left, he would ask Lana. Hed barely skimmed the book, just read the headings and the things that had been written in colour. Things that had stood out. Like under Lucius' Malfoys weaknesses, was written - "Lana." Harry understood, sort of, from the stuff Lana had told him about Lucius having a crush on her.  
  
Harry felt sick. And tired. How many innocent people had died in the first war? How many people in the Order had made sacrifice upon sacrifice? And for what?  
  
Re-opening the book at the page hed shut it at, Harry felt his stomach tighten. It was dated - 1st November 1981.  
  
His heart was pounding. Quite clearly Lanas writing, although it was shaky and not in straight lines.  
  
"I cant even begin to decribe what happened last night. I dont want to. I dont want to think of it. Of Lily, of James, of Harry. Of Sirius. But I have to, because I have to get it down on paper. I cant, wont go into detail because of...Well I dont want to. Lily and James are dead. Peter, the bastard..Betrayed them. God knows whats going to happen now. Hagrid took Harry to Dumbledore. Wouldnt let Sirius have him. OH NO! Nobody knew about Lily and James switching Secret-Keepers....I know because...I was there when Peter handed them over to Voldemort. When that little bastard told him. Voldemorts gone. But at the expense of two of my best friends, probably at the expense of Sirius and Lupin."  
  
The next few lines were smudged with what Harry could only assume were tears. He felt himself crying as he read the next few lines.  
  
"Its now a few days since Lily and James were murdered. Im told Harry is with the Dursleys, but I cant risk going to see him, or anyone, because they think I did it. They think I was in league with Voldemort. They all think the same about Sirius too. Even Moony doesnt believe us. This is crazy, crazy and fucking stupid and confusing and I dont know who to trust or what to do...Dammit. I want to kill Peter. I will kill him. I will avenge my best friends. And with me and Sirius being together, it seems to everyone that we were both in it for Voldemort. Nothing could be further from the truth.  
  
So here it is.  
  
Sirius sentenced to life in Azkaban. Lupin, I have no idea. James and Lily dead. Peter I dont know or care. Apparently dead, but the little bastard is probably not. Alice and Frank....Tortured. In Mungos forever. Poor Neville. and me...Sentenced to a life of silence. Of not being able to prove my innocence, of not being able to prove Sirius', of knowing that Moony thinks Im a Death Eater. Sentenced to seeing my friends being murdered, of hearing their screams and pleas over and over, of hearing Harry cry, of not being able to do anything about it.  
  
Ive lost evrything. And it will haunt me for the rest of my life. Because I KNEW, dammit, I KNEW on some level, that it was Peter. Thats why I suggested to Dumbledore that I go in through Lucius. That Dumbledore and I keep it to ourselves, which we did."  
  
Harry turned the page, but there was nothing. Shocked, stunned, tears flowing down his face, a million questions spinning in his mind... 


	35. Quick Note!

Hello my beautiful people!   
  
As some of you know, I have a habit of writing things in long-hand before typing them up. Which, is a pain in the ass for me sometimes...But oh well.   
  
Thanks to all the people who have been reviewing, Ive got a 100!! YAY! THANKYOOOOUUUUU!   
  
None of you will ever know how much it means to me that youve taken the time to read and review my story. I wanna thank Becca, Tiff and Nicole and various other people for helping me. Id like to than the Academy....Teehee.   
  
** angelover41 - Thanks for saying I rock out loud!! :P  
  
Luv4snuffles - Sorry for the swearing. And thanks for the WOW. :)  
  
iceprincess12 - Writer of PERFECT PAIRS and CRUEL TO BE KIND - see that little plug I did there?! Read her stories. Theyre great. Fluff! Action! Thanks for talking to me!! :D  
  
Vela-chan - as always, reader from the beginning, love you and thanks! You reviews always make me smile :)  
  
Mordred - Writer of Forever Alive..Again, plugging peoples stories...AKA Nicole...Thanks chick! :P **  
  
Anyhoo...The next chapter, "The Order" will be up in about 3-4 days. Sorry for the wait, but...Im going out tonight, and I must go shower and fluff myself for tonight. I start college on Monday, so chapters might be slower at getting put up, but I shall try and get 1 or 2 up a week, depending on the workload I get from college!  
  
LOVE YOU ALL, Re-Writing Destiny.....Charlotte....Tigger...Char....Whatever you wanna call me!   
  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
  
PS - Im planning a sequel!!!! 


	36. The Order

(NOTE : I wanna apologise for the lateness and shortness, but this weekend has just been one mad rush after another, in 8 days ive spent 2 at home. I shall update this chapter most likely on Sunday when I have the chance. It was my 17th birthday on Wednesday and I went out last night and spent £40+!! I have a monster hangover but I wanted to give likkle darlings something to read!! :P  
  
Disc : the little paragraph in ***** was written by the genius Joss Whedon and I just stole it because its relevant!! so it belongs to him!  
  
WILL UPDATE AGAIN ASAP)  
  
*****Bottom line is, even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are.  
  
You'll see what I mean.*****  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~09:00AM, FRIDAY 21ST JULY~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana rolled over on the bed and accidentaly smacked Lupin over the head. Last night they had gotten back pretty late, and Lana was exhausted from the day and nights events, so she had bunked in with Lupin at the Leaky Cauldron.  
  
Her brown hair was tangled, and she wanted to go home and have a bath. Wherever home is now, Lana thought sadly.  
  
Lupin groaned when Lana hit him. "Oi!" he said, shoving Lana off him.  
  
"Sorry Moony." Lana muttered, throwing the duvet off. She was wearing her usual hotpants that showed off her smooth, toned legs, and a tight halter top that showed off a little of her stomach. Sirius had brought her this pair. They were black, and the hotpants had a little devil on the right hip, matching the one that was on the top.  
  
For the first time in a long time, even before the first war, Lana felt a little glimmer of happiness. Almost always depressed and on the verge of tears, Lana was sick of the amount of energy it was taking to act okay. But what they had found last night, if it was anything, was a glimmer. She wanted her mothers case file from the Aurors office, and with her never being proved innocent or guilty, Lana wasnt sure whether she could just walk into the Ministry of Magic or not.  
  
And that was exactly the reason that she was going to.  
  
Lupin still found himself blushing at Lana even though hed seen her dressed like that many times. He found it hard last night to stop his hands wandering. As had Lana, but she would never admit that.  
  
She was about to open the door when she remembered that she was at the Leaky Cauldron, and although Dumbledore had rented the whole floor from Tom, she still didnt fancy the idea of Ron or any one else seeing her almost naked. Lupin had seen her like this many times, and Lana had to resist the urge to get him to scratch the itch that she couldnt.  
  
"I'll see if I can get a room on my own tomorow night," Lana said, pulling on a baggy t-shirt that hung almost to her knees and slipping into some white slippers, "Or maybe Ill just move back into mine and Sirius' old house. I dont know." she turned around to see Lupin stood behind her.  
  
His sandy blonde hair that was prematurely flecked with grey hung over his face, and stuck up slightly. He had lost, if possible, even more weight since the death of Sirius, although he didnt really look that skinny. His grey/blue eyes looked down into Lanas brown eyes. His black shorts hung loosely on his waist.  
  
As Lana looked at him, she knew what he wanted. Because she wanted it too. She was past caring now. It looked likely that Sirius wasnt coming back, and she was sick of feeling sorry for herself. Lana was confused at the moment. What shed found last night had given her a glimmer of hope, but if she brought Sirius back, whats to say he would still love her? Getting through the next minute, and the next, was proving hard, adjusting to everything, and one of the things that made sense was Lupin. Lana was always one for living for the moment, and at the moment she thought that Lupin could give her a few moments of happiness, and that was all Lana cared about. Escaping.  
  
Her breath caught in her throat, and before she knew it, her and Lupin were caught in a passionate embrace...  
  
Lupin let all thoughts fall from his mind, bar him and Lana. Just feel, he thought to himself. None of this guilt trip. You need this as much as she does. He let his hands wander to her waist, running his hands across the top of her underwear and up the t-shirt she had just slipped on.  
  
Deciding she was sick of thinking, sick of being cut off from her emotions, Lana just let herself go with it. To hell with it if she felt guilty later. A small moan escaped her lips as she felt Lupin run his hands across her waist line. She hadnt done this in a good few years, but you never forget...She laughed a little and Lupin pulled away, thinking she was laughing at him.  
  
"What is it?" he asked, looking a little hurt.  
  
"Nothing," Lana said, pulling her t-shirt off. She grabbed him and wrapped her arms tightly around him, kissing him hard.  
  
As they fell against the wall, Lana felt Lupins hardness against pressing against her sex, and she pulled his boxers down. He kissed her neck slowly, letting his hands travel down to her waist as he pushed her up against the wall, hoisting her up a little. He remembered the last time they did this - them remembered the memory charm hed performed on her when shed been racked with guilt. Hoping he wouldnt have to do this again, he pressed his hands against her panties.  
  
Lana let out a little gasp and wrapped her legs around Lupins waist, pushing herself up a little higher as he pushed her panties to the side. As she slid down onto his length, she winced and muttered "ow".  
  
Looking into her eyes, Lupin said, "Are you okay?", as he started moving slowly into her.  
  
She nodded slightly, although it was quite clear to him that she was hurting a little. Her smallness suprised him, when it shouldnt really. Tightening her legs around his waist, Lana ran her hands through his hair and pulled him to her, and kissed him deeply on the lips.  
  
As he moved deeper and faster inside her, the pained look quickly turned into pleasure. He pulled away from the kiss and looked into her dark brown eyes, and he saw that a sheen of sweat had appeared across her forehead. Confused for a moment, he kissed her softly. Had they been going for this long already? Or maybe it was his werefolf stamina..."You tired?" he asked.  
  
"Not....Tired.." she managed to gasp as he thrust harder into her. "Just..."  
  
Her eyebrows came together and she started trembling, Lupin could feel her hands trembling as she clawed a little on his back. He moved harder and faster and her eyes rolled back into her head, he knew what was coming next.  
  
For a few seconds, he just watched and listened as she moaned his name, then as she began to get louder as he began to get faster, he kissed her deeply.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~10:00AM FRIDAY 21st JULY~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Dressed in dark brown jeans and a caramel coloured off-the-shoulder jumper, teamed with caramel colour boots and her long dark brown hair swept back in a half-up, half-down style, her full lips painted a light, sparkly brown, her dark eyes lined with black, Lana started to walk down the stairs of the Leaky Cauldron to get some breakfast.  
  
Lana had gotten no further than halfway down the stairs when she saw two flame haired children and a dark haired boy walking with a girl with bushy brown hair loudly complaining and storming up the stairs.  
  
"Not bloody fair, always getting told we cant listen." "Yeah, wheres Sirius when you need him?"  
  
"Woah woah woah" Lana said, backing up a few steps as they almost walked into her. "Whats going on?" she asked, looking directly at Harry.  
  
Harrys brilliant green eyes had a deep etch of pain and knowledge in them. As he looked at Lana, he wanted to grab her, shake her, scream at her....But the pain and sympathy he felt for her overwhelmed any of that. He sighed, and he was about to speak when Hermione cut in.  
  
"I dont think you should be there. Or Proffessor Lupin, for that matter." she said coldly.  
  
Harry stared.  
  
Ron gasped.  
  
Lana stared at Hermione, trying to guess which wizarding family she was from, but she couldnt place her. "Muggle." said Lana, looking from Hermione to Harry, and back again. "You must be Hermione. Ive heard about you."  
  
"Really?" Hermione said, unimpressed.  
  
"Yes. Bushy hair, too big for your boots, telling Harry that he likes to play the hero..Criticising Sirius for his treatment of Kreacher. You dont want to be around when I get hold of him." said Lana, eyebrows raised.  
  
Hermione was blushing under Lana stare. However, she stood her ground. "I think theyre discussing where and Lupin went off to last night. And you in general."  
  
Lana unconciously scratched the scar on her right arm. "Really? Well. Cant have that." she looked at Harry. "You come with me."  
  
Ron, Hermione and Ginny looked at Harry. "We were just going to go...Look at racing brooms." Harry said, when they were really going shopping, but he didnt want to admit that in front of his Godmother.  
  
She laughed. "Youre going shopping. Harry, you really are like James, you know that. Do you want to listen in on the meeting or not?" she asked, smirking at Harry.  
  
Harry, despite how down he was feeling, grinned. "You can do that?"  
  
"I can do whatever the hell I want. Im your Godmother, and besides..Dumbledore has no power over me." said Lana, almost bitterly.  
  
Hermione snorted. "Exactly like Sirius."  
  
"Excuse me?" Lana said, turning on Hermione. "Sirius is a great role-model for any young witch or wizard. As were Lily and James, as is Lupin. Youd do well to learn somethings, Hermione. Like when to shut up." Placing her hand on Harrys shoulder, she steered Harry down the stairs and around the corner.  
  
"Youre really going to let me listen in?" asked Harry, hoping that she would say yes.  
  
"Well..." Lana began, "You cant sit in on this 'mini-meeting' that theyre having...But you can listen in. Is Moody in there?"  
  
Harry shook his head. "Just Dumbledore, Mrs Weasley, Mr Weasley, Bill, Charlie, Tonks, Kingsley....Snape."  
  
"Accio Invisibility Cloak." Lana muttered, and a few seconds later, she threw the cloak over Harry.  
  
"How did you know - "  
  
"Shhh..." Lana said, pressing her finger to her lips. She turned to the door on her left and casually strolled into the room. Leaving the door open just long enough for Harry to get in, Lana slammed it shut.  
  
"So." she said, looking around at them all, looking extremely pissed as they all looked sheepish. Except Dumbledore of course. 


	37. Learning

Lana stared around the room that comprimised of a small table with a few chairs, and various members of the Order. Bill Weasley saw Lanas eyes stray over to Snape and he made a movement as if to restrain her, but he noticed that she looked right through him, as if he werent even there.  
  
"We were just discussing you. Funny how you got here so fast." Snape commented, obviously trying to provoke Lana.  
  
However, she paid no attention and acted like she hadnt heard what Snape had said. "So you were all just gossiping about me then?"  
  
"Youre just full of yourself arent you?" Snape said again, and Dumbledore put a hand on Snapes shoulder to restrain him.  
  
Again, Lana didnt respond. She didnt flinch. She was in a good mood after spending...Time with Moony. She looked at Dumbledore. "Do we have a problem?" Lana asked.  
  
"Of course not." Dumbledore spoke calmly. "Molly was merely stating that you and Remus were back late last night."  
  
"So we couldnt have just been having a drink somewhere?" Lana said angrily, colour rising in her cheeks.  
  
"Yes but you werent, were you?" Molly said, "Both of you flew off on that motorbike, I saw you. Goodness knows what you were doing. What kind of example do you think that sets to Harry? His Godmother and Remus flitting off somewhere together in the middle of the night."  
  
Lana struggled to repress a smile and to stop her eyes flicking over to where Harry was stood. "Youve had a problem with me since day 1 Molly. This isnt about Harry; its yet another one of your personal attacks on me. And to be honest, I really dont care what your opinion of me is."  
  
"We can discuss the situation at headquaters tonight," Dumbledore said with an air of authority, "We are going to attract to much attention here. I dont, and Im sure that the rest of you dont want the Order exposed." He walked over to Lana and passed her a piece of parchment with the words :  
  
'12 Grimmauld Place' written on them.  
  
Lana frowned. "Orders HQ are at that old battleaxes house?" she said dubiously. "Fun."  
  
"The meeting starts at 3. And in the meantime...Id advise you all to stay away from each other."  
  
"You have no authority over me Dumbledore." Lana said definatly.  
  
The wooden door swung open and Lupin walked in. His robes were battered and he had slight bags under his eyes. Harry noticed that he looked a little happier and had some colour in his cheeks.  
  
Lupin sensed the tension as soon as he walked through the door. Snape, Lana, Dumbledore and now Molly in the room...Not a good combination. He nodded at Dumbeledore who walked out of the room.  
  
Lana heard Harrys footsteps and she began to cough loudly to cover them up.  
  
Tonks looked at Lupin, with his sandy blonde hair and clear blue eyes...Then she shook her head. "Come on Kingsley, we better get to work."  
  
"Oh, speaking of going to the Ministry," Lana started, "I want to pay my old boss a visit."  
  
"Are you insane?!" Tonks burst out. "Youre as wanted as Sirius was!"  
  
"Actually, Im not. I was never proved innocent or guilty. Nobody could ever figure out what happened to me, whether I was dead or not. So, technically, they cant arrest me."  
  
Tonks stared at her, with an purple eyebrow raised. "Whys your name on the wanted section then? Right up there with mass murderer Sirius."  
  
"I never killed anybody!"Lana protested.  
  
Lupin laughed.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"You killed 7 of Voldemorts best men. You got really close to Voldemort. Betrayed him. Hell, even I had a hard time trying to figure out whos side you were on for a while." Lupin said, stopping when he saw the shocked look on Lanas face.  
  
"Moony!" she said, looking at him disbelief. Not because he couldnt figure out what side she was on; that had been the idea; it was the fact that he had blurted it out in front of Molly - who already didnt like her. He had just given her more incentive to be funny with Lana.  
  
Tonks was staring at Lana oddly. "Youre the Lana Madison who killed four Death Eaters at once, without even raising your wand?"  
  
Lana looked at Tonks. "Yeah, what of it?"  
  
Tonks laughed. "Youre my bloody hero! Youre the whole reason I became an Auror! To be like you!"  
  
Lana couldnt help it; she burst out laughing. Kingsley rolled his eyes, hed been waiting for this.  
  
Lupin slapped Lana on the arm, he couldnt believe how rude she was being.  
  
"Im sorry, for a second there I thought you said I was your hero." Lana grabbed Lupins hand before he could slap her a second time, and their eyes met briefly, and, embarassed, Lana let go of his hand.  
  
Tonks flushed a bright red.  
  
"Just inflate her head even more Tonks, if thats possible." came Snapes drawling voice.  
  
Shooting a look at Snape, Lupin turned to Kingsley. "Do you think its safe for Lana to go into the Ministry?"  
  
"Oh safe shmafe," Lana shrugged. "The dangers half the fun."she said, winking at Lupin.  
  
"Reckless, and irrisponsible" Molly said, casting a withering glance Lanas way.  
  
"Hopefully one of the Aurors who can remember her will kill her." Snape said.  
  
That was it. Lana had had enough of his snide comments. As she turned and looked at Snape, Lupin knew what was coming before anyone else. Like many years ago at Hogwarts, he saw that little flash of flame in her eyes, and the hem of Snapes robes set on fire.  
  
Molly shrieked and jumped backwards. Bill grabbed his wand and pointed it at Lana, no matter how much he hated Snape, you just dont go around attacking people.  
  
Charlie pointed his wand at Snape and muttered something to extinguish the fire, but it didnt work.  
  
Knowing better than to try and reverse what Lana was doing, it was a totally different brand of magic, Lupin put his hand on Lanas arm.  
  
The flames licked at Snapes robes, burning the robes but not him, as Lana controlled the flames.  
  
Snape jumped around, trying to put it out. He reached into his robes for his wand, but Lana flicked her hand and his wand flung out of his hand.  
  
"PUT THIS OUT! PUT IT OUT NOW!" Snape shouted.  
  
"Guess youre pretty defenceless without your wand arent you?" Lana spoke calmly. She was enjoying this, the shocked and frightened look on Mollys face; the way Bill raised his wand and then lowered it; the way Snape was yelling and jumping around. They way Tonks and Kingsely just stared, unsure what to do.  
  
Lupin squeezed Lanas arm, "Stop it. Youve made your point." He was afraid of how much her powers had developed. Back at school, she had no idea that she had them, never mind how to manipulate them. Even in the First War, they were unpredictable. She had to have learned something on the other plane.  
  
Lana looked at Lupins light blue eyes. "Fine." She let her hand go slack and the fire went out. "You want to be careful, Snivellus...One day, my hand might just...Slip," she said, flicking her hand, making everyone but Lupin flinch. "And I might not be able to control myself."  
  
And with that, she shrugged Lupins arm off her and walked out of the room, boots clacking on the wooden floor.  
  
Snape, flushed bright red, his robes burnt, grabbed his wand from the table where Lana had placed it, swept out of the room, greasy black hair covering his face.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~10:45am~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana sat in a Muggle street, drinking coffeee and eating toast. Looking up, she saw that Lupin had changed into Muggle clothes to come and find her. He was wearing a white shirt with a pair of dark blue jeans. She smiled slightly, thinking what an attractive man he was and that he should be married and have kids and have someone love him for who he is. And that person wasnt to be her.  
  
"Good morning." he said brightly as he sat down opposite her.  
  
From beneath her sunglasses, Lana looked at him. "Who said it was a good one?" She sipped her coffee and flicked through the Muggle newspaper that she had brought. From the last war, she knew how to pick out Death Eater attacks.  
  
The silence between them was slightly awkward. Lupin wanted to say something about last night, but knew she was would change the subject, and besides, he wasnt sure what he wanted to say anyway.  
  
"I suppose youre going to lecture me and tell me to be a good little girl and not go to the Ministry." Lana said, folding the newspaper up and putting it on the chair next to her.  
  
"No. Not at all. Because I know it wont make a difference anyway." he said, smirking slightly. "But tell me something. Who do you want to go and see?"  
  
Lana sighed. "Bode. He was a friend of my mother. Very close. Thought he might know something."  
  
Lupin looked at Lana with a pained expression. "Hes dead." he said quietly.  
  
"What?" Lana said disbelievingly...She couldnt believe someone else she was close to was dead.  
  
"He was attacked and was in hospital. Someone sent him a Devils Snare." He didnt need to explain the rest.  
  
Rubbing her temples, Lana looked at Lupin. "Then Im definately going to the Minstry. I have to get some things. I was hoping Bode would be able to get them...But now Im going to have to call in a few favors." 


	38. The Ministry

~*~*~*~*~*~11:00am~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"What time are you going?" Lupin asked. He was struggling to keep the conversation going, mainly because he just wanted to kiss her. He knew these feelings were wrong, but he thought that Lana was a dreaming too much. Sirius wasnt coming back. If they both realised that, maybe they could have a chance.  
  
Looking at her watch, Lana thought. The Order was at 3. There was no guarantee that the person she wanted, needed to see would be there. It could take a few hours to haggle. Bribe. Any means necessary. She needed those files. She needed to get into the Department of Mysteries.  
  
"In about half an hour." Lana replied. She was squirming inside, hoping that he didnt mention this morning. She was lonely, hurting...He was just convenient. But that was the problem - he wasnt. Moony was more than that to her and she knew it, which was why she pushed it away and denied it.  
  
"Want me to come with you?", not sure of what he wanted her to say.  
  
As she lowered her sunglasses and looked into Lupins clear blue eyes, she felt a flicker and almost remembered something, then didnt. "And why would you want to do that?" She knew that having Lupin with her would just knock her reputation down a little, him being a werewolf and all...But she wasnt bothered.  
  
Lupin sighed. No wonder Sirius was so pissed off with her at times, he thought. So touchy and avoidy when it came to discussing her feelings. "Because I care."  
  
Lana held his gaze for a few more moments, trying to look for any sign that he was lying. "Fine. You care. Big deal."  
  
He studied her. "Why do you do that?"  
  
"Do what?" she snapped.  
  
"Shut people out when they start getting close to you."  
  
Lana looked away from him, staring at the pavement. Then she looked straight at him, through her sunglasses. "If this about this morning...  
  
"Dont bother." Lupin said quickly. "I know what youre going to do."  
  
Raising her eyebrows, she turned to him. "Really?"  
  
He nodded. "Youre going to ignore me, act like it never happened."  
  
"Id never ignore you Remus, youre my best friend. Always have been. Always will be." She hoped the fact that she called him Remus would get it across how serious she was.  
  
"Thats all I am to you, isnt it? Just a friend to lean on when youre lonely, or upset, or you want something."  
  
"I must have my definition of friend wrong then." Lana told him icily.  
  
"You have a lot of things wrong." Lupin felt his temper rising.  
  
"Fine. Fine." Lana grabbed her newspaper, swung her bag over her shoulder. "Fine." She started walking fast down the street.  
  
Lupin stared after her, then got up and caught up with her. He grabbed her arm and pulled her into an alley.  
  
"Get. Off. Me." Lana said, glaring at Lupin.  
  
"No. Were going to have this conversation, whether you like it or not." he said, letting go of her but not letting her walk away.  
  
"What do you want from me?" she asked, looking up at him.  
  
"How about the truth? How about you tell me whats going on in here?" said Lupin, tapping Lanas head, then gently running his hand down her hair.  
  
Lana closed her eyes for a moment, then slapped Lupins hand away. She took a deep breath, knowing that she would have to lie to him. She had felt something when he had been inside her; but it wasnt love. Yet it was more than friendship. If things were different...She shook her head.  
  
Taking her sunglasses off, she looked Lupin in the eye. "Truth?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
"Fine. You were there. I was lonely. I was upset. I was tired and hurting. You..." she looked away for a brief second, then looked back at him. "You were just there. Youre...." she paused, seeing the look in Lupins eyes. "Convinient."  
  
"Convinient." he echoed.  
  
Placing her sunglasses back on, Lana nodded. "Now if youll excuse me."  
  
Lana pushed past a shocked Lupin. He didnt know how she could be so...Nasty.  
  
It killed her to be so callous towards her best friend, but it had to be done. She loved Sirius. And besides, she had noticed that a certain pink- haired Auror had a crush on Lupin...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~11:20am~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana was stood outside The Apothecary waiting for Mad Eye Moody. She wanted him to translate the writing that she and Lupin had found. Dont think about him, Lana thought. Put this morning to the back of your mind and bury it.  
  
"Constant Vigilance" came a gruff voice on Lanas right.  
  
She turned to see the same withered face as always. A chunk out of his nose, wrinkles, tough, leather like skin. Everybody said that Mad-Eye was just a paranoid old Auror. Thats probably why hes old, Lana told them. She owed this man her life. Shed defend him to her grave. She shouldnt be asking him for favours.  
  
"Moody, Im sorry, you know what, forget it, I dont need you to - " Lana began.  
  
"Oh shut up girl," he said, "You know Ill help if I can. Now what is it youve got for me?"  
  
"I found something last night in my mothers old house." Lana said quietly.  
  
"Youre mother was an Unspeakable, yes?" Moody asked.  
  
Lana nodded. "Or rather, something found me."  
  
Lana went on to describe what happened with the invisible claw-thing, with Moody nodding and making her repeat things about 7 times, as was his custom.  
  
"And there was writing?" he asked for the 3rd time.  
  
"Yes Moody. Ive got it here if you want to look at it."  
  
He nodded, and Lana dug into her pockets and pulled the scrap of paper out.  
  
"Moony told me off for reading the words out loud." Lana said sheepishly.  
  
"Quite right too," Moody said. "This is an ancient form of Latin. Volatile stuff this is, when you read it out loud. CONSTANT VIGILANCE."  
  
A few people stared and Lana smiled and waved at them.  
  
"Can you translate it then?" she asked hopefully.  
  
"I can. But I dont know if I will. You shouldnt be messing around with this kind of thing Lana, its volatile and dangerous."  
  
"Yeah yeah yeah" Lana said, snatching the paper from him. "If youre not going to do it, Im sure theres someone on Knockturn Alley who'll do it for me...." she said slowly, knowing which buttons to press to get Moody to do it for her.  
  
"I dont think so young lady," Moody snatched the parchment back. "Ill have it done by the time we have the Order meeting."  
  
Lana smiled at him. "Thanks Moody. Anything you need? Anything I can do?"  
  
He shook his head. "Constant Vigilance Lana, Constant Vigilance." Then he disapparated with a soft pop.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~THE MINISTRY~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
There were two ways into the Ministry of Magic - and a few more that not everyone knew about. Lana was one of the few that knew about other entrances.  
  
At the end of the alley way, was a wall like the one at Platform 9 and 3 quaters. If you ran straight at it, and had clearance, it would let you through. If not, you would fall into oblivion. Of course, if the head Auror found you and it was an accident, okay. If not...5 years in Azkaban.  
  
Of course it helped that head of the Aurors was Amelia Bones, and that Lana had killed one of the Death Eaters who had attacked her family. Amelia knew Lanas mothers background, and Lana knew that her clearance would still be vaild.  
  
Casually, Lana walked over to the wall. She stuck her arm through the wall and sighed. Her clearance was valid. She stepped through the wall and appeared in Amelia Bones' office.  
  
Amelias back was to Lana. Taking her sunglasses of, Lana disapparated and then apparated in front of Amelia with a loud crack.  
  
A jet of red light whizzed past Lanas face, singing her hair.  
  
"Woah woah, Millia, calm down woman." Lana said, dodging another jet of red light.  
  
"Ive asked you repeatedly to call me Amelia." she said dryly. She stared at Lana. "Hm, so it is true."  
  
"So whats true?"  
  
"The wanderer has returned." Amelia said, her hand still on her wand. "Youre not under the Imperius Curse are you?"  
  
"Oh please, give me some credit." Lana said, rolling her eyes. She was a bit suprised that Amelia wasnt more shocked. "Why...Why arent you more suprised to see me?"  
  
"There have been rumors going around that a young girl has made a miraculous recovery from a coma and hasnt aged. Youre the talk of the Three Broomsticks, although nobody actually knows who you are. I knew youd come here sooner or later. I dont suppose you want to come back to work do you?" Amelia said matter of factly.  
  
Lana grinned. "Straight down to business then, ay Millia?" She walked around and sat down opposite her. "Cant blame you for wanting your most talented Auror back."  
  
Amelia made a "hurumph" noise, like she seriously doubted Lana was her best Auror. "Actually, cant get Moody to come out of retirement. But...Well settle for his protegee."  
  
Lana rolled her eyes again. "And I thought Id gotten myself out of that name - " she began, but then saw Amelias dark blue eyes were sparkling, and that she was winding her up.  
  
"Of course I want you back. But I have a question to ask you first."  
  
Lana nodded, having some idea of what she was going to say. "Shoot."  
  
"Did you ever pass information to Voldemort?"  
  
Thinking this over for a moment, Lana nodded. "False, misleading information. I took it upon myself to go undercover."  
  
"You took it upon yourself?" Amelia was very unimpressed.  
  
"I saw a window of opportunity. I took it. I got in. I got very close to someone in his inner circle. Very important information I got."  
  
"And who did you pass this information onto?" Amelia asked, with her eyebrows raised.  
  
Lana stared at her blankly. "To the people who Voldemort was planning to hit next."  
  
Amelia nodded. "Fair enough. I dont want to know the details; It was 16 years ago. I want to ask you a few more things."  
  
Again, Lana nodded.  
  
"Sirius Black. You were married. Where is he?"  
  
Lanas stomach jolted. She started shaking a little. She looked Amelia in the eyes. "I dont know."  
  
"Dont lie to me Lana. If you know, tell me."  
  
She had to lie, for the second time today. "He murdered Lily and James, and Peter." Her fists closed as she said Peter. "If I knew where he was...Id kill him myself."  
  
Seemingly satisfied with the answera Lana was giving her, Amelia stood up. "I suppose you want your old job back then? Old position, top-ranking Auror with all the privelages like last time? Except the Unforgiveable Curses. Fudge, the idiot, wont give us permission to go all out yet. The earlier the better I say."  
  
"I want my old position back. I want to work freelance, not have to come into the office everyday."  
  
Amelias curly blonde hair bounced as she stood up. "Fine. You start now. Freelance. All privelages as before. Run your own Unit, your own operation. You can hand pick them. I want Death Eaters rounded up and killed or kissed. Use your old connections if you have to."  
  
Lana grinned, "Nice doing business with you."  
  
"Good luck. Now get to work." Amelia said, commanding Lana and pointing at the office door. 


	39. Attack part1

Lana walked over to the door then paused. "Just for the record...Sirius and I were never "married". Not in the strictest sense of the word." Smiling at Amelia, Lana turned her back and walked out of the door.  
  
Kingsley Shacklebolts working area was nearest to the office. He looked up and saw Lana. He gave her a look that said "how the hell did you get past me and into there?"  
  
Lana smiled at him and took out her wand. She pointed it to her throat. "Sonorous."  
  
"Um, can I have your attention please?" she said, her voice magnified around the Aurors work areas. "Some of you will know me, and most of you will know of me. Im Lana Madison, and ex-Auror now back in business. Those of you who were on my team last time around, I want you again. Everyone else, just get back to work."  
  
Pointing her wand at her throat again, she reduced her voice. Tonks and Kingsley stared. As did the rest of the people in the Aurors section.  
  
"Any questions?" Lana asked, raising her eyebrows.  
  
"YEAH." Came a voice from the back of the room. "Why havent you aged a damn day? You still look as crappy as the last time I saw you!"  
  
Standing on her tiptoes, Lana saw that it was James Harding. Kingsley winced, he was waiting for Lana to swing herself at him, but instead she grinned and laughed. "Yeah you look like shit too." she cat-called back.  
  
Kingsley turned to the office. "GET BACK TO WORK!" he shouted to them all. There were a few mutters, some more cat-calls, but most people settled back into work easily.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~12:30pm~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana sat in her office, blinds open, "sunlight" streaming in. She had modified the room as soon as she walked in. Apparently, it had been left alone as a mark of respect for her when she had disappeared. For the first 10 minutes, people had been bombarding her with questions, until James had told them all to "sod off."  
  
On the big wooden desk were photos. They had a layer of dust on them. There was one of her and her mother;one of her mother as a child;Lana and Sirius (taken just before Voldemort killed Lily and James);Lana and Lily;Lily and James;Lupin and Lana;and Peter.  
  
Lana immediately grabbed the one of Peter and smashed it into smithereens. She stamped on it and screamed. Good job theres one of those thingy-charms on the door, she thought.  
  
Flopping back onto her chair, she flicked her wrist and photo, the frame and the glass burst into flames and disappeared.  
  
On the right hand side of the room was a huge cabinet with various magical instruments and books on it. On the left, was a fire in which Sirius, James, Lily and Lupin often came through to visit her with news of the Order. It was mainly Sirius and Lily tho. James was busy with his own thing, and Lupin wasnt exactly welcomed into the Ministry, although Lana made it quite clear to him that what she said goes, he barely came here.  
  
Bang in front of her, the wall was windows and mirrors, with the odd one a two-way mirror. By two-way, she meant that if she said someones name, their mirror would glow and they would look into it and Lana would be able to talk to them. One was Sirius; the other Dumbledore; the other was tuned into whoever Lana wanted it to be. The last person was Lucius - when he thought he had an informant this high up in the Ministry.  
  
As she span from side to side slightly on the chair, Lana wondered...Twice Lucius had ambushed her...Now it was time for her to get her own back.  
  
Staring into the one on the left, she said - "Lucius Malfoy."  
  
After waiting a few seconds, and nothing happened, she sighed. Must have been de-activated. She tried to pull open one of the drawers on her right hand side, and found it was locked.  
  
Frowning, she pulled at it, knowing that she hadnt put a spell on it. "Argh." she said, kicking the desk.  
  
"Temper temper." drawled a voice.  
  
Jumping and almost falling off her chair, Lana yelped and looked in the direction of the voice.  
  
Blonde hair sleeked back, cold blue eyes staring at her, black robes on, the face of Lucius Malfoy stared out at her.  
  
"My my, dont you look beautiful today?" he said, smirking at her.  
  
"Shut your mouth." she said. "Im never wearing this outfit again."  
  
"Ooh, please dont let me stop you from getting undressed."  
  
Lana gave him a withering look, then noticed something. He had a black eye and a scratch on his face. "Someone give you a beating, Lucius?"  
  
"Oh yes. But I gave them MUCH worse." he said, grinning.  
  
The little colour that Lana had in her face drained away. She knew that grin, that tone of voice. "Who?" she demanded, her voice shaking.  
  
"Very upset he was when we found him." Lucius teased.  
  
"WHO?!" she screamed, standing up.  
  
"Bella and I had a lot of fun with him. I believe you know Bella?" he said, indicating someone to the side of him, who Lana couldnt see.  
  
"You son of a bitch. WHAT DID YOU DO?"  
  
"I think, darling, the question is - Who did YOU do?" he said, raising his eyebrows and lowering them quickly, "Hurry hurry."  
  
Then he disappeared from sight.  
  
Lana threw something from on her desk at the mirror, but it didnt shatter it. Standing there, she let out a long breath, hands on her hips. She bit her lip, thinking his question over.  
  
She felt the pit of her stomach drop. She thought she was going to be sick. She felt like her heart had stopped. She couldnt have any rational thoughts, yet she must keep a clear head if she was going to try and find him...  
  
LUPIN.  
  
Not even stopping to grab her jacket or lock the door behind her, Lana ran out of her office.  
  
Harding saw her running and he apparated in front of her, grabbed her in his arms. "Where do you think youre going to?"  
  
"GET OFF ME!" she shouted, flinging both her arms forward and slamming her hands into Hardings chest, knocking him flying across the room.  
  
Everyone whos desks were next to the corridor window stopped to stare.  
  
Taking a breath, she looked at Harding. "Lucius and Bella have attacked Lupin. Goddess knows what theyve done to him. If I dont find him, hes going to die, if he isnt already, and I cant - I cant handle that."  
  
"Ever thought it was just a trap? Come on Lana, use your head! You know what those pair are like!" he said, walking back over to her.  
  
"Lucius had bruises. I dont care if its a trap, Id sacrifice my life for Lupin, like I would have sacrificed myself for Lily and James and Sirius if I could have."  
  
Harding blinked. "Sirius? Sirius is dead? How the hell do you know that? Is that where youve been these past few years since he escaped? Harbouring a known murderer?"  
  
"HE DIDNT DO IT!! PETER DID IT! HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?" Lana stared at Harding. "I have to go before someone else I love dies."  
  
Then, in a rush of black and red flames, Lana disappeared.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~SOMEWHERE IN DIAGON ALLEY~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana stood in Diagon Alley. She was trying to calm herself down, so she could try and track Lupins scent. Years ago, she had locked onto his, Sirius, Lily, James and Peters mental...Rivers, she called them, so she could track them. In the years shed spent in the other dimension, shed had to learn to control these powers, or she would not have survived.  
  
This "mental tracking" was a more complicated and much more difficult branch of her "magical sense" that she had used a few days earlier to check there were no more Death Eaters.  
  
It meant giving in totally to her powers, and not knowing whether she controlled them, or they controlled her.  
  
She knew that she had to keep to the alley ways, as her eyes were flicking from red to black to normal as she concentrated, and bumping into Molly Weasley wasnt on Lanas agenda. She wanted to get Lupin and get the hell out of Diagon Alley.  
  
Keeping time and place was difficult in this state, because she had the actual, physical plane, Diagon Alley, all around her, and at the same time, the higher plane, with little threads of red, black and white symbolising different people and places.  
  
Lana knew it was bad, because although she could sense him, she was having difficulty in finding the exact place or the area in which he was, and that meant that he was weak.  
  
Turning into Knockturn Alley, a certain blonde haired Death Eater appeared in front of her, sending her radar squwiff - muddling it all up, like when you get a text message and your listening to the radio, and it goes all...Funny.  
  
"Do you really think that wed leave him here? Or attack him in broad day light in the middle of an Auror-patrolled area?" drawled Lucius.  
  
Lana lifted her head up and took off her sunglasses, her eyes flashing black and red and normal, she stared at Lucius.  
  
"You really dont want to irritate me right now...But wait...Too late..."  
  
Lucius was actually afraid when he saw Lanas eyes. Hed heard of Lanas power, that even the Dark Lord wasnt sure where she had gotten it from, just that it was very primal and primitive and powerful.  
  
He raised his wand, expecting her to throw a spell at him, but she did was actually quite the opposite.  
  
She paused, looking at him, wondering if she had time for this...Then decided that mutilating him wouldnt take long.  
  
Looking away from him for a split second, Lucius did what Lana wanted him to - relaxed slightly...She ran at him, jabbing the palm of her hand up into his nose, breaking it. Knowing it took a lot to physically injure a wizard or witch without resorting to spells, Lana quickly spun around and elbowed him in the face, snapping his head back.  
  
With her back to him, she flicked her leg up and kicked him in the balls, causing him to drop his wand and bend over. Turning around slowly, Lana was pleased to see that she had broken his nose and he already had a bruise on his jaw.  
  
Grabbing him by the throat, she picked him up with one hand. "If hes dead because of you, or because I had to waste time fighting you...I will kill your family. Draco...Narcissa..."  
  
Bending her knees slightly, she threw Lucius through the window of a shop.  
  
She sighed, wiped her hands on her trousers.  
  
In her minds eye, she saw the Dark Mark hovering above Lupins house. Thats where he was. In the intensity of the fight, she had connected with Lupins energy. 


	40. Dead or Alive

(AGAIN : writing credits for *** to Joss Whedon.)  
  
***Bottom line is, even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments.  
  
No one asks for their life to change, not really.  
  
But it does.  
  
So what are we, helpless?  
  
Puppets?  
  
No.  
  
The big moments are gonna come.  
  
You can't help that.  
  
It's what you do afterwards that counts.  
  
That's when you find out who you are.  
  
You'll see what I mean. ***  
  
(~*Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear  
  
Sealed with lies through so many tears  
  
Lost from within, pursuing the end  
  
I fight for the chance to be lied to again  
  
You will never be strong enough  
  
You will never be good enough  
  
You were never conceived in love  
  
You will not rise above  
  
They'll never see  
  
I'll never be  
  
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger  
  
Burning deep inside of me  
  
But through my tears breaks a blinding light  
  
Birthing a dawn to this endless night*~) Evanescence - Lie  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~LUPINS HOUSE, 1:00pm~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Outside of Lupins house, a small crowd of 5 or 6 people had gathered. All wizards and witches of course. Someone fainted as Lana appeared in a blaze of fire -"ITS VOLDEMORT!" someone else shouted, and a few jets of light flew at Lana.  
  
"Oh so NOW you decide to do something." came Lanas voice, as she disarmed the crowd. "Im an Auror. The danger has passed, go back into your homes."  
  
The crowd didnt move. Deciding to ignore them and do her job and her duty as a friend...  
  
Taking a very deep breath, Lana turned around to inspect the damage. Above the house was the Dark Mark. The sign of death. Lana cried out loud, putting her hand over her mouth.  
  
The garden had been blown to bits, rubble everywhere, dust just settling. As she struggled to walk her way up the path, her legs threatening to give way with every step, the pain was so bad, she could barely stand.  
  
Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange walked up the garden, black cloaks flowing, wands raised....  
  
Echoes...Lana thought...Great.  
  
As she got closer to what was left of Lupins house, Lana screamed. She could hear Lestranges insane laugh, hear bangs and crashes, screams, curses being shouted...  
  
The front of the house had been totally blown off. Amidst the dust, Lana could see scorch marks on the walls, small spatters of blood.  
  
"REMUS!" she shouted, clambering over the rubble, wondering where the hell to start. Searching for him mentally had given Lana a blinding headache, she could barely focus on where she was, and the thought of her best and only friend lying dead in there just made it worse. "REMUS!" she shouted again.  
  
Picking up her pace to a run, trying not to fall over, dodging chunks of the walls, she called his name over and over, eyes scouting out the place.  
  
Lucius flung a spell at Lupin, and he just dodged it, but it grazed his cheek, sending a spatter of blood against the wall, and then Lestrange hit Lupin in the back with a Stunner, sending him smashing through the opposite wall.  
  
Lana shuddered as the echo of Lupin went through her, she didnt have the reflexes in this state to duck.  
  
"MOONY!" she called, shifting to avoid a hole blasted in the floor.  
  
Then, at the back of the house, she saw something move.  
  
Lana ran over, and fell to her knees. "No.No no no no no no NO!" she screamed, touching Lupins limp body.  
  
She checked for his pulse, and, there was one there. Extremely weak, but it was something.  
  
She breathed a sigh of relief, and pushed back his sandy blonde hair from his face. It was blood stained, and his shirt had been torn, his chest had scorch marks on it. A bruise underlined his cheekbone on the right hand side of his face, and various other marks were found on his arms and body.  
  
Tears fell down her cheeks as she lay on his chest, listening for his heart beat. "Im so sorry, sorry I shouldnt have..." she muttered.  
  
"He isnt dead, not yet." came an ice cold voice from behind her that sent shivers down Lanas spine.  
  
Turning around, dust and blood covering her, Lana came face to face with Lord Voldemort.  
  
Her insides turned to ice. She couldnt speak.  
  
"Not so cocky now, are we Lana?" he stated, a small grin spreading across his snake-like face.  
  
"What do you want?" Lana asked, voice shaking, head throbbing, holding Lupins hand tight.  
  
"Hes only been dead a month and youre already fucking his best friend," came another voice that Lana despised.  
  
Lucius stepped out.  
  
"Oh just cos Im not fucking you," Lana spat, knowing that she was being immature.  
  
Voldemort pointed his wand at Lana. "One move...One attempt to do anything, anything at all..." he moved his wand to Lupin.  
  
She knew that she had to keep her cool, not let Voldemort or Lucius see just how much Lupin meant to her, not show them that her head was throbbing, that she couldnt fight them with her other powers even if she wanted to.  
  
But right now...This was breaking point. It can go one way, or the other.  
  
Clearing her throat, Lana asked again - "What do you want?"  
  
"You." Voldemort stated simply, like a child pointing out sweets in a shop.  
  
Lana shook her head. "What?"  
  
Why had she denied her feelings for Lupin? Yes, she loved him as a friend, very much, she had known him before she had even had a crush on Sirius, they had grown uptogether, and now, just because of her and her arrogance, his life was in danger. Hed been inside her. It was different now. Her feelings for him went beyond friendship, but they were certainly not love and not a patch on how much she felt for Sirius.  
  
"You." Lucius repeated, pulling his mask off.  
  
"In exchange for what?"  
  
"Him." Voldemort said again, in the same tone of voice, his wand indicating Lupin.  
  
He knows just what buttons to press, Lana thought. Bastard. Now do I say 'kill him, he means nothing to me' OR do I go along with the trade only for Voldemort to kill Lupin anyway?  
  
Lana lowered her eyes to the floor. Please have let Harding have had some sense and alerted everyone else...  
  
"Well? I do not have time for this." Voldemort said.  
  
"Oh, I am sorry, dont let ME interrupt your busy schedule of murder and mayhem" Lana said, a little of the old sarcastic her slipping out there.  
  
Voldemort chuckled slightly. "Still got spirit."  
  
Lucius, however, strode forward and grabbed Lana by the arms, yanking her up. "How dare you be so disrespectful!" he seethed, squeezing her arms tight.  
  
"Obviously that beating I gave you earlier didnt get the message in." Lana said, too numb in her body and mind to even wince at him.  
  
"Calm yourself Lucius." Voldemort commanded. "We'll have all the time in the world to play with our new little toy soon enough."  
  
Lucius glared at Lana, then let go of her arms and, not turning his back to her, strode back to the right-hand side of Voldemort.  
  
"This is taking too much time." Lucius said impatiently. Voldemort nodded at him and Lucius hit Lupin with the Cruciatus curse.  
  
Lupin jerked to life and his screams echoed around the small street.  
  
"NO!" Lana screamed, diving at Lucius and knocking him to the floor, and the spell went from Lupin to the ceiling, making a lot more rubble come crashing down on top of them.  
  
At the same time, Lana set off something in herself, and caused a ripple of fire to explode around the room, and she rolled off Lucius and struggled to look around in the blazing heat and brightness for Lupin. Backing into a corner, Lanas eyes had to shut because of in the intensity of the heat. She heard a crack like a whip and knew that Voldemort and Lucius had gotten out.  
  
She heard a cry from Lupin and, stupidly and without thinking, ran over to him, feeling the fire burn her hair and her skin, throwing herself down beside him.  
  
Smoke was starting to billow around them, and Lana muttered something and touched Lupins chest, just where his heart was, and it glowed a bright white, and Lana could feel a little of her life flowing into Lupin. As he jerked and started breathing, there was a large blast that sent them flying away from each other.  
  
The fire still blazed and Lana had no control over it, she started coughing and could barely breathe when rubble from the ceiling fell down and hit her on the head... 


	41. Everybody Hurts

Lupin was blasted outside, clear of the crumbling house and the fire. The blood and dust and ash from the fire covered him, and he pushed himself up onto his elbows, looking at the scene in front of him.  
  
He groaned as he felt the pain in his head, he had no idea how long he had been out. Must have been a long time, he thought. Fires stopped burning.  
  
He paused, going over that thought...  
  
He felt sure hed seen Lana in there. Frowning, he stood up, swaying slightly on the spot.  
  
Pulling his robe off, he looked down onto his right arm. As Lupin looked at the faint red line, about 2 inches long on his right arm, he knew that Lana had been in there.  
  
Lana had saved his life. Sirius had the same little scar on his right arm. Or she had done something to him. And when shed done it to Sirius, she had changed him, some element of him.  
  
As much as he wanted to run inside the house and see if Lana was alive, he knew that he wouldnt be able to bear the sight of yet another one of his friends dead. Sirius had died a month ago; and Lupin had to hold Harry back from going into the Veil after Sirius, when he himself had wanted to do it so much.  
  
Regretfully, he disapparated with a soft pop and appeared in front of 12, Grimmauld Place.  
  
Lupin walked up to the door slowly, in a daze. Later, he would struggle to remember how he did it. Pressing the doorbell and keeping his finger on it, in the distance he heard Moody clunking down the hallway and Mrs Black screeching at the top of her lungs.  
  
Taking one look at Lupins ashen face, and the blood stains all over him, Moody yanked him inside and immediately shouted for Dumbledore.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ 4:00pm. 12, Grimmauld Place. ~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lupin had quietly told them what had happened, but obviously couldnt fill in why he was alive, or where Lana was. Molly gasped and fussed around Lupin as he spoke.  
  
Dumbledore sent Tonks, Kingsley and Moody to the site at once, knowing that 3 Aurors around an attack site wouldnt seem suspicious.  
  
Molly, Arthur, Bill, Charlie, Lupin and a few others were seated in the kitchen for what seemed an age.  
  
Theyd been gone around half an hour when they came back, Tonks walking into the kitchen first, followed by Moody, and lastly Kingsley.  
  
Lupin stood up, looking at them hopefully.  
  
Moody shook his head. "Theres nothing there Remus. Just..Rubble."  
  
"Me and Kinglsey have gotta go into work, Amelias doing her nut." Tonks said, looking at an extremely depressed Lupin.  
  
"Maybe she wasnt even there - " Kingsley began to say, but was cut off by an outburst from Lupin.  
  
"SHE WAS!" he shouted, running a hand through is hair. He licked his lips. "Harrys not to know. Tell him - That shes going to be away for a day or so on business for the Minstry."  
  
Dumbledore looked around the room somberly. "Another one of us has fallen. In the midst of all this chaos - one thing stands clear. We will go on. We will still stand and fight. We have to. We must."  
  
Lupin couldnt hear this. He started walking, well, limping towards the door. "I cant hear this, hear you talk about her like shes dead."  
  
"Remus - " Dumbledore began.  
  
"No. I didnt see her die. But she was there." he paused briefly. "I have to go."  
  
And with that, he walked from the room.  
  
Tonks felt her purple eyes fill up with tears. Lupin was hurting and there was nothing she could do about it. Now was not the time to be asking him out on a date.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ THE GHOST ROADS ~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana woke up. She felt kind of...weird. Heavy. Opening her dark brown eyes, she saw blackness all around. A sliver of light came from the moon above.  
  
The Ghost Roads.  
  
Utterly confused, Lana screamed.  
  
And she felt that sensation like she was in water again. Flailing her arms above her, trying to grip something, two strong hands grabbed her. They yanked her out of what Lana assumed was water and placed her, standing up, on the blackness.  
  
Looking around for who it was, Lana saw nothing. She looked down and was shocked at her reflection. A graze covered around half of her forehead, a blood trickle down her cheek. A bruise had appeared on her right cheekbone, and blood matted part of her hair. Going up both of her arms were scorch marks, and she felt extremely tired.  
  
Am I dead? Was her first thought, but she felt something stir in the air, or whatever it was, and she looked up.  
  
She heard footsteps, mutterings. The light from the moon shone down onto the footsteps, or, rather they walked into the moonlight. As they did, his face changed from the mask that Akzaban had created into the youthful man he had been when Lana had "married" him.  
  
Sirius was intent on throttling Lana and giving her a hell of a shouting at in the very least for what he had seen her and Lucius doing. He hadnt seen the boy for a while now, and it was strange for him to be gone for this long. He hated the boy, but not having him around made Sirius uneasy. However, he had managed to drag Lana into the Ghost Roads by himself, and he was happy. Or not.  
  
Lana wondered what he wanted now. She had to get back to Lupin. Save him. Trust Sirius to pull her in at THE MOST inappropiate moment AGAIN. He had to stop doing this. She couldnt take this anymore. Seeing him and then not seeing him.  
  
As he walked over to her, Lana sensed there was something not right with him. His eyes had that same hollow look that Azkaban had given him, and he also got that look about him when he was hurting a lot.  
  
Sirius knew there was something wrong with Lana by the way she was stood. One hand crossed across her stomach, holding onto the other arm, which was slack at her side. She looked like she was ready to collapse at any second. Hed also learned that if you stayed in the Ghost Roads for too long, you didnt get back...That youd die. He was sort of hoping to keep Lana here for too long, then immediately hated himself for even thinking that.  
  
Lana couldnt wait any longer - She had to get back to Lupin, and get back to her body - she was in a burning building for christ sakes! Limping slightly, she started walking towards him, stepping into the moonlight herself.  
  
"Sirius, I dont have time for this. Lupins been attacked, my bodys in a burning building, Im going to DIE if you dont let me go - " she paused, staring at Sirius' eyes, wondering what was going through his mind, and suddenly, she thought - "dying doesnt seem like such a bad idea."  
  
Sirius stared at Lana. She was bleeding from her head, limping, covered in dust and blood, and not all of the blood was hers - it was Moonys. All the anger he felt at her almost disappeared.  
  
"Theres been an attack?" Sirius asked, voice dry.  
  
"No shit sherlock." Lana said, sarcastically.  
  
"What happened?" he continued, ignoring Lanas sarcasm.  
  
Rolling her eyes, Lana took a deep breath. "I was at work. I got a tip-off and went straight to Moonys. There was the Dark Mark above the house, and the garden was blown to bits. Lupin was lying in the rubble, I was hit by a lot of echoes. I went over to Lupin, then Voldemort decided to pay a visit. Lucius hit Lupin with the Cruciatus curse, I flung myself at Lucius, my powers and temper flared, caused a fire, Voldy and Lucius went bye byez, I healed Lupin somehow, caused an explosion, couldnt get rid of the fire, got flung across the room and through the wall, then BAM, Im here again."  
  
Sirius struggled to take all the information in. A few things sunk in - Lucius, Lupin healed, Voldemort, Lana flung through a wall. "I hate it when you do that." he said quietly.  
  
"Do what?" an exasparated Lana said.  
  
"Talk to me like youre de-briefing your Aurors. Its annoying."  
  
Lana frowned. "I do that?...Sorry." she said, meaning it, but shrugging. "So you see, I have to - " she paused, staring into those dark brown eyes.  
  
Not knowing what to do or say, Sirius was torn as usual. He hated being torn. He looked at Lana, and he suddenly realised something.  
  
"You dont care." he said softly.  
  
"About what?" she asked impatiently, on the brink of tears, knowing that Sirius had clicked onto something.  
  
"Whether you live or die." Sirius leaned forward and grabbed Lana by the hands, pulling her towards him. "Whats really up with you?"  
  
"Nothing," she said, pulling her hands out of Sirius'. "Im fine."  
  
"Dont lie to me." he said, reaching for her hands again.  
  
Tears were building up even more, and she started tapping her foot, like tapping her foot would release the tears. When Sirius took her hands, his touch melted her and the tears fell.  
  
"You have to...To stop doing this." she said, "Bringing me here....I just..I cant.."  
  
Shaking Sirius away from her, she wiped the tears from her face, cursing herself under her breath. It was as hard for him as it was for her, it had to be.  
  
Sirius pitied her, he knew how she was feeling, because he was feeling it too. But still, something burned inside his soul. "Why dont you just call around at Lucius Malfoys if youre THAT lonely."  
  
Lana stared, a few more tears falling. "What?"  
  
"You know what I mean," Sirius heard himself saying, coldly. Part of him couldnt believe he was being so cold towards his soul mate - the one woman in the world who meant everything to him.  
  
"No, I really dont." said Lana, stepping towards him, wearing a confused expression.  
  
Shaking his head, Sirius avoided looking at her. "You know what I mean."  
  
"No, I dont. Why dont you explain it to me?" she asked, her voice rising.  
  
"I - I -" Sirius didnt want to think about what Lana had done, never mind say it. He had seen her, and here she was, lying to his face!  
  
"Do you know something?" Lana asked, not bothering to wait for an answer. "You know when we were bound together? Soul to soul? Person to person? Heart to heart? That bound me to you, and you to me. I would never - " and then she stopped. Knowing she was lying outright, that only a few hours ago she had been with Lupin, she stopped speaking.  
  
Sirius looked at her, saw that flicker in her eyes that meant she was lying, and something inside him snapped. He slapped her hard across the face.  
  
He left a red hand print on her face, over the the bruise.  
  
Her shocked face and hurt eyes said it all.  
  
Sirius snapped back to his senses and started apologising - "Lana Im sorry, I dont, Im sorry, I didnt mean I just - "  
  
"You just what, Sirius? You just what? Snapped?" Lanas hand crept up to the side of her face. "Youre just like him. Youre just like your fucking father."  
  
Sirius was in turmoil. He didnt know what to do or what to say. And the worst thing was - she was right. His father beat his mother. And he, Sirius, just slapped the love of his life. And death.  
  
Lana stared at Sirius. "I cant believe you just did that." Tears fell from her face, and an odd thought occured to her -  
  
"What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry?" she said outloud, looking at Sirius.  
  
They were standing no more than a foot away from each other. Both in varying amounts of physical and emotional pain.  
  
"I love you." Lana said quietly, her voice breaking slightly.  
  
Sirius said nothing. He merely looked at her.  
  
"I love you dammit," Lana said. "Well say something..Anything."  
  
"Sirius" she said, tears falling, heart breaking "Say something."  
  
"Go." he said, not looking at her. "Just go." 


	42. Crush

Lana knew in that instant, that something was terribly wrong. She was about to ask why she should go, when she fell through the blackness, the water sensation enveloping her, drowning her, she was screaming and then...  
  
Bright white light.  
  
Lana blinked. The light was still there. She shut her eyes tight, liking, almost loving the blackness that was there.  
  
Her whole body ached. Her heart ached. Her head ached. And she was so tired. So very very tired. Sleep. She needed to go back to sleep.  
  
Back to sleep? Since when was I - oh, right. Lana thought, Im unconcious when I go the Ghost -  
  
Her face crumpled and the tears spilt, and she rolled onto her side and buried her face in the soft, fluffly pillow that was there.  
  
She didnt know where she was - she didnt care how shed got there - all she could feel was the pain. The pain of Sirius not saying that he loved her - that burned her more than the slap across the face had.  
  
Moving her arms so they were at the side of her, she then pulled the quilt around her and over her head, hiding herself. She put her hands in her hair, pulling at it slightly, and kicked the bed.  
  
"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" she screamed, sobbing into the already wet pillow.  
  
Lana heard heavy footsteps. Oh well, she thought. Let the come. I dont care. Im in pain.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~12 GRIMMAULD PLACE:SATURDAY, 22ND JULY~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The boy who lived. Harry Potter. Was sat, in Ginnys bedroom, at 12, Grimmauld Place. He'd been taken there, along with the Weasley clan, in the early hours of the morning. From what he could get out of Moody, which wasnt a lot, Harry figured there had been some kind of attack. And with Lupin and Lana not there, Harry couldnt help but think that they had gotten caught up in it somehow.  
  
He hated this house. Sirius had hated it. Harry hated it because Sirius wasnt in it. Even if he did spend a lot of time with Buckbeak, and moping around, it was still Sirius. Sirius had still been there. And now without him, although bursting with life and people all the time - It seemed empty to Harry.  
  
He stared ahead, into a mirror. As per usual, his black hair wouldnt go normal. So he scruffed it up some more, just like his dad used to. Maybe he should grow it long, like Sirius used to. Harry laughed as he thought this - it was messy enough as it was now, never mind hanging just above his shoulders!!  
  
Ron was asleep, as was Hermione.  
  
About 10 minutes ago, he had knocked gently on Ginny Weasleys bedroom door. He knew that he could talk to Ginny - She had told him when he was behaving out of line, and she had listened to him when he really needed someone.  
  
She had answered the door, newly cut hair slightly messy, yawned and then let Harry in. She had a red robe tied around her, and Harry had caught his eyes wandering a few times.  
  
Now Ginny was sat, leaning against the wall on the bed, quilt wrapped around her. She looked tired, but listened to Harry talk about Lana.  
  
"And, she has a firey temper. You should have seen her punch Snape, it was..." his eyes glazed over. "The best thing ever."  
  
Ginny giggled. Shed seen Lana at work on the punchbag when shed stayed at the Burrow, never mind punching Snape! She sighed. Ginny would never let on just how glad she was that Harry had knocked on her door, even tho it was 7am and that shed only just gotten to sleep.  
  
Harry leant back on the wall next to Ginny. He smiled at her, and she blushed a little. His smile faded and something came over him, like a sheet.  
  
"You miss him, dont you?" Ginny asked softly.  
  
"Sirius? Oh yeah. I miss him. All the time. And being here, it makes it worse." said Harry, sighing. "Now that I have a Godmother, I think...Maybe things will get a bit better. Not exactly the way they were, cos things will never be...exactly."  
  
Ginny ran a hand over her hair. "Harry...A lot of people care for you. A lot of people love you. And I know that might not seem like much to you, because Sirius was your family, and I know that Im not, but Harry....I care. I do. Alot."  
  
Harry felt himself blushing. He wasnt sure what Ginny was trying to tell him, but he knew, deep down, that she was trying to tell him something...Else. He was no good at this girl thing, where was Hermione when you needed her?!?! But he had started to look at Ginny in a different light over the last few days. Not all at once, but gradually...  
  
"Okay...Now Ive made you uncomfortable." Ginny said, a little upset that he hadnt - well what did you expect, you idiot?! She thought to herself. Hermione had blatantly told Harry that Ginny had given up on him; Hes not going to think you like him in that way any more....So do something...Girl, make your move! Times a wasting, Ginny Weasley!! She laughed under her breath at what she was thinking.  
  
Turning to look at Ginny, Harry smiled. (Oh look at his perfect smile, Ginny thought.)  
  
"I care about you too, Gin." he said, a little too...Not caring.  
  
Dammit, Ginny thought. You know what? Im just going to kiss him. Im going to kiss Harry Potter.  
  
Ginny put her hand on Harrys arm, and twisted around slightly. Leaning forward, she kissed him softly on the lips.  
  
Harry was a little shocked, he hadnt seen this coming, but hey, at least she wasnt crying! He wasnt sure what to do, but he put his hands on Ginnys waist and pulled her closer.  
  
Ginny put her hands in Harrys messy black hair, deepening the kiss as she pushed her tongue into Harrys mouth, masaging his tongue with hers.  
  
The kiss carried on for a minute or so, slowly and softly, until Ginny backed away from Harry, feeling extremely embarassed.  
  
"Well..." Harry said, feeling breathless and embarassed.  
  
Ginny smiled weakly. "Hmmm..."  
  
There was a loud bang from upstairs and Harry jumped off the bed.  
  
"I should - " he said, and almost ran out of the door, leaving Ginny feeling even more confused than before. 


	43. Moving OnAnd Up

Shadows on the wall  
  
Forming outlines of your face  
  
I reach out to touch you  
  
Through time and through space In my dreams I'm always with you  
  
So let me sleep In my dreams I'm with you  
  
I'll always be with you  
  
I dream that your here with me  
  
Lying by my side  
  
This wont last forever  
  
Let's catch the sands of time  
  
I don't want ever to end  
  
So let me sleep Let me sleep for a while let me dream of your smile  
  
In my dreams I'm with you  
  
Let me sleep for a while let me dream of your smile  
  
I'll always be with you Credits to : Whoever writes S Club songs!!  
  
(NOTE : SHORT CHAPTER BUT ILL UPDATE TOMOROW)  
  
Lana didnt have to open her eyes to know that someone had walked into the room and was now stood at the side of her. She didnt care. It could be Voldemort for all she cared. Sirius didnt love her, and all Lana could think about was that.  
  
She couldnt think rationally - when she really should be going over their conversation more carefully, all she could do was cry. And sleep. Then cry some more.  
  
Before, Lana had been so pre-occupied with Harry and Lupin and the fact that she was now 'awake', that she hadnt really had chance to deal with Sirius' death, and her seeing him twice now, and the second time being the biggest blow, it really hit her hard.  
  
The pillow was tear stained and so was the white quilt. There was dust and blood on the quilt, Lanas hair was stuck to her face, and she was sure she looked a mess. But again, she really didnt care.  
  
She didnt know how long shed been here. A day or two, she figured.  
  
Mildly curious about who it was, Lana was about to pull the sheets back when the person did it for her.  
  
Looking up, Lana was less than impressed.  
  
"And here was me thinking it was going to be Voldemort. And I got something worse." Lana said bitterly to the man with the long beard and half-moon spectacles.  
  
"I think you need to get up." Dumbledore said carefully.  
  
"No." Lana said. "I dont want to. I dont care any more. Just leave me here to rot...Oh wait, youve already done that once."  
  
"Lana...Youve been here 2 days. Your head needs seeing to. And you do care." he said softly, sitting down. "We're at 12 Grimmauld Place. Harry is here. So are the Weasleys."  
  
Lana wiped furiously at the tears on her face. Hed brought her here, of all places. "Not any more I dont." A thought occured to Lana, something Sirius said about Lucius..."You told him." she said, it suddenly dawning on her.  
  
Dumbledore looked down at her calmly.  
  
"Sirius...You told him about Lucius...About what you made me do." her eyes flashed angrily.  
  
"I promised I would not tell him. I did not." Dumbledore said. "Mind that temper of yours, Lana. The Ghost Roads move through time and space, so it is quite likely that Sirius stumbled upon something."  
  
Lana closed her eyes, and pushed herself up into a sitting position. "Leave me alone." she whispered.  
  
"There is someone here who would like to see you."  
  
"I said YOU leave me alone, not anyone else." Lana spat. "Moony...Wheres Lupin? Is he okay?" she asked, suddenly desperate to see him, to know if she had saved him. If he had been in here in the past 2 days, she didnt know. She had mostly slept, exhausted from the Ghost Roads and sleeping to shut off the pain.  
  
Dumbledore smiled slightly, nodded and strode out of the room.  
  
Leaning against the wall, Lana wrapped the sheet around her. She sighed heavily, closing her eyes and biting down on her lip, hoping and praying that Lupin was okay.  
  
Feeling a weight at the the other end of the bed, Lana opened one eye. It was Lupin.  
  
"Dont tell me youre asleep again!" came Lupins slightly raspy voice. Full moon was approaching, and he was tired.  
  
Lana opened both of her eyes and stared at him. Lupin turned to see her looking at him with an uncharacteristic look of seriousness on her face. "How can you joke?" she asked, voice barely above a whisper.  
  
He looked at her - her tear stained face, the dried blood on her forehead, the look of hollowness in her eyes. He felt pained to see his friend - no less, the person he had slept with not a week ago - in this state. "How are you? Really?" Lupin asked, moving to lean against the wall and sit next to her.  
  
Looking at him, his eyes full of concern, Lana saw no point in lying. "Im tired. Of crying." she said, giving him a little half smile, quick as a flash, that said, 'I might look bad now but Ill be fine.'  
  
Lupin knew that, despite the small smile, she wouldnt fully heal from whatever had happened to her. "Where did you get to?" he asked.  
  
Confusion crept over Lanas features. "What do you mean?"  
  
Brow creasing slightly, Lupin said - "Moody, Tonks and Kingsley went to look for you almost straight away. They couldnt find you. It took Dumbledore a good 2 hours to find you, and you were just wandering around, kind of...Vacant."  
  
Feeling even more confused, Lana shrugged. "Ive got no control over my body when I - When Sirius - " Lana shut her eyes, and took a deep breath, steadying herself. "Drags me there."  
  
There was a moment of awkwardness between them.  
  
"How about you? You okay? Didnt do too much damage to you did I?" Lana said slowly, like it was requiring much effort to speak.  
  
"Thanks to you, Im still breathing." he paused, and turned to Lana, whos eyes were shining with tears.  
  
"Im sorry." Lana whispered, then looked away from him. "I should - we should never have. But I shouldnt have said that."  
  
"But it was the truth." Lupin said shortly.  
  
"Thats just it tho," she said, eyes flicking up to look at him, then suddenly becoming fixated with the label on the sheet. "It wasnt the truth."  
  
Now it was Lupins turn to feel confused. "It wasnt? I wasnt just...Convenient?" he asked, wishing that Lana would look at him. "Then what was it? What was...What am I?"  
  
"Thats just it too..." she shrugged, looking up at him, "I dont know. I just - I didnt mean what I said. It - "  
  
Lana made twirling motions at the side of her head. "Im all confused. I dont - " she took a deep breath.  
  
Lupin sighed. He didnt want to discuss this. He wanted to talk about something else. "Promise me something." Lupin said, putting his hand under Lanas chin and making her look at him.  
  
Lana let his hand there for a few seconds, then batted it away gently, holding it in her own hand. "Depends on what it is."  
  
"That you wont use that power again. The healing one, or whatever you did to me...It damaged you. Not only did the pyro go out of control, you got dragged into the Ghost Roads right after youd brought me back from the brink of death, and one is tiring enough, but one right after the other is...You could have been seriously hurt."  
  
Lana shuddered. He was right. She had thought that power was dormant - it hadnt worked on Lily and James - couldnt save them, but it healed Harry.  
  
"Promise me Lana." said Lupin, squeezing her hand.  
  
"I'll try. But if I have to sacrifice myself to save you or Harry or Moody, you know I'll do it." she said, dark brown eyes boring into his light blue ones.  
  
"Fair enough." Lupin agreed.  
  
Lana pulled Lupin to her and hugged him tightly, kissed his cheek.  
  
"I have a lot of questions to ask you, Lana, but this one has been playing on my mind since you woke up. Why do you hate Dumbledore so much?" Lupin asked, and he felt Lana tense up against him, and she shifted her body slightly, so she could look him in the eye.  
  
"Im afraid that you'll hate me if I tell you."  
  
"I could never hate you!" Lupin said, brushing her hair back from her face, and she flinched.  
  
"Oh yes you could...Sirius has just found out, and...Now he hates me."  
  
Lupin couldnt contain his shock. "Sirius doesnt hate you...Dont be ridiculous."  
  
"But he doesnt love me." Lana said quietly, wishing that Lupin wouldnt look at her. "I think...I think maybe the Ghost Roads are getting to him."  
  
As Lupin moved to hug her, Lana backed off. "Dont. I dont deserve your sympathy. I - I'll tell you, but...I - it gets complicated, and you wont like me very much at the end of it..." 


	44. Traitor Suspected

(NOTE : This follows on from what Sirius saw. WILL FINISH THIS CHAPTER ON FRIDAY.)  
  
Half an hour later, Lana was still in Lucius mansion. Lana had wanted to get out of there as soon as she could, after the bathroom incident, she got the feeling that Lucius was starting to have feelings for her which he really shouldnt, and that was the last thing Lana needed on top of everything else.  
  
Now she was sat in the main living room of Lucius house, wearing a dress that he had brought for her. It was black and gold - shorter than she would usually wear. It had no straps, and the black was broken by the gold snake on the front - it was a nice dress, expensive...Lana wouldnt ever wear something like this, but Lucius had insisted, and when the price of losing the game was her life, Lana given in around 5 minutes ago.  
  
On her feet were high heeled gold shoes, again which Lucius had brought her. (What am I, a fucking doll?) she thought to herself. Around her neck was a gold chain with a snake on. Trying to hide her nervousness at what Lucius was going to ask her, Lana stopped tapping her foot.  
  
Lucius walked back into the room, and Lana stood up.  
  
"I really should be going now," Lana said, silently pleading for him not to touch her.  
  
"I want you to wear that tonight." said Lucius, causing Lana to falter for a moment.  
  
"Excuse me?" she asked, putting her hand on her hip.  
  
"I want you to wear that tonight. There is a - dinner party being held at Notts. Narcissa isnt attending - and I want you to be there instead." he said, in a tone that suggested this was an order, not a request.  
  
"Well I cant be there." Lana said, staring at Lucius.  
  
"And why not?" he asked, eyes narrowing.  
  
"You want reasons? Okay. I've been here since last night at 9pm. Its now - " Lana looked at her watch - "Almost 1 in the afternoon. Im cutting it fine being here this long. If I disappear tonight again, theyre going to know somethings up."  
  
Lucius cold grey eyes looked Lana up and down and then he smiled. "People want you to be there. Specific people. Important people. Im sure you can think of something to get away from that idiot boyfriend of yours, and those...Mudblood lovers that you are so close to."  
  
Lana stared. She felt the colour rising in her pale cheeks. "I am not someone who you can command Lucius. Im not your wife. Im not a lackey. And I wont be there tonight, no matter how much you try to tell me that I have to be there."  
  
He laughed. "Thats what I love about you Lana, that...Disregard for authority. Lack of respect for your equals."  
  
"Youre far from my equal Lucius...We both know I have more power than you can even comprehend." Lana said, eyes narrowing dangerously.  
  
"Yes, and thats why you have to be there tonight. To prove your allegiance with us." He saw the worried look on Lanas face. "Dont worry - Avery and Macnairs mistresses will be there.."  
  
Lana raised her eyebrows. "Oh and that comforts me because?"  
  
Again, he laughed. "You need to relax more." He walked over and wrapped his arms around her waist.  
  
Lana resisted the urge to shove him off and gave him a big, fake smile. "Fine. You win. I'll come. But...You owe me. Big time."  
  
"You know...You look really, really sexy in this..." he said, tracing a line across stomach, making her jump slightly. "Silk really..."  
  
Lana stepped back. "Like I said, I have to go." She told him firmly, and disappeared in a burst of black and red flame.  
  
0 


	45. Love and War

Re-appearing in Dumbledores office, Lana wanted to be violently sick. She had kept this charade up for almost a month now - lying to her soul mate about where she was going, trying hard not to slip up in front of Lucius... And last night, it had gone one step too far. No going back now, Lana told herself. Got to get the job done.  
  
"Afternoon." Dumbledores low voice sounded behind Lana.  
  
Lana turned to face him, deep purple bruises on her arms showing already. "Dont act like you care." she said spitefully, to his concerned expression.  
  
"I do."  
  
"Course ya do," Lana said, walking around the other side of his desk. "Hows Sirius?"  
  
Dumbledore sat down, he was wearing robes of a deep blue, with gold stars and moons printed on them. "He..."  
  
He was about to answer when the door of Dumbledores office flung open and Sirius walked in.  
  
His hair had grown long, just the way Lana liked it, and he was in his usual black shirt and black trousers. The shirt showed his muscular arms, made from his battles with Lana. (She had been teaching him how Muggles fight and had loved it, so they had been doing training every night. Plus, it was his natural physique. Quidditch also helped.)  
  
Eyes travelling exactly where Lana knew they would, despite wearing an extremely hooker-ish dress.  
  
"Who bruised your arms?" he asked, walking over to her. Lana backed off a few steps, the worried look in his eyes hurting her like a physical blow.  
  
"Lucius Malfoy." She told him truthfully. Dumbledore shot her a warning glance over Sirius' shoulder.  
  
Sirius' brow creased. "Malfoy?"  
  
"Yeah, he err, I disarmed him." Lana said, recovering quickly, "And he decided to get physical.." (oh the irony, she thought)  
  
Then he did what Lana knew hed do second.  
  
"Why are you wearing...That?" he said, looking at it in a way that told Lana he didnt like it.  
  
"You dont like it?" she asked, knowing that he would say no.  
  
"No..." then his dark brown eyes glittered and he broke into a crooked grin that Lana loved.  
  
He believes me, Lana thought, her heart dropping. She half-wished he would grab her and shake her "I KNOW! I KNOW WHAT YOU WERE DOING WITH HIM!". But he trusted her. All the way. And that was killing her.  
  
One thing bugged her. Why hadnt he asked her where she was?  
  
He kissed her lightly on the cheek, and wrapped his arms around her. "You okay? I know about the raid last night. You sure you dont have any other injuries?"  
  
Lana shook her head, felt the tears glittering. "These'll heal soon anyway. Always do." She avoided looking at Dumbledore and shut her eyes as she hugged Sirius.  
  
"Mind if I steal my Lady away for a few hours?" Sirius asked Dumbledore.  
  
Dumbledore nodded. This young couple, so in love, a bright future ahead of them both...If only the present werent so damn dark. Lies, secrets, deciet...All part of the usual day. He knew it was wrong to ask someone like Lana to undertake such a dangerous job - undercover with Lucius Malfoy. But she was his weak link, and the information they had gotten out of him had saved many lives. It had also cost a few too, on both sides. He would talk with Lana later.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ SIRIUS AND LANAS PLACE - 22 JULY 1981 ~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana had pushed all thoughts of Lucius Malfoy and last night from her mind. Every now and then, tho, one would come creeping through and she would physically feel sick, like breaking down and sobbing.  
  
Standing in front of the wardrobe, wearing nothing but her black underwear, Lana smiled at Sirius who was sat on the bed.  
  
"God youre beautiful" he said, staring at Lana.  
  
Tears clouded her eyes again. She loved this man, with every fibre of her being. She had given him her heart, body and soul.  
  
Sirius tipped his head to the side. "Whats wrong baby?"  
  
"I - " Lana closed her eyes. Then she shook her head. "Nothing. Nothing, its just..Nothing." Turning back to the wardrobe, she pulled out a pair of light blue, low slung denim jeans, and a black top.  
  
As she pulled the top down, she felt his smooth arms snake around her waist and his hands pull her around to face him.  
  
"Lana, if theres something bothering you...You can tell me you know. Im always here for you. I love you baby." His dark brown eyes bore into hers, concernedly.  
  
He has no idea just what he does to me, she thought. Seeing those eyes, that hair, that face..Made all the bad in the world disappear, and all there was was them. Bu the fear was still there. Something bad, even worse, was going down with Voldemort and the Death Eaters, and now Lana was in the thick of it. She knew exactly what her main fear was.  
  
"I just - Im so scared," she admitted, and Sirius knew there was something wrong, because Lana would never admit that, not even to him. She trembled and he pulled her closer to him. "I dont want to lose, and you Im so scared, terrified in fact, that youre going to die and then Ill never see you again and - "  
  
Sirius was amazed. She was terrified. Terrified. "My God...Lana, Im not - Oh baby," he said as she started crying. Gently, he wiped her tears with his fingers. "Baby, Lana, listen to me - Im not going to die. Nobody can kill me, Im Sirius Black, I am NOT going to die that easily."  
  
Lana laughed a little. "That cousin of yours has come close a few times."  
  
"Bella?" he laughed. "That little bitch couldnt kill me if she tried. Which she has," he added after a beat.  
  
He kissed her softly on the lips, putting his hands in that long brown hair of hers that he loved so much.  
  
"Have I told you today how much I love you?" she asked, smiling a little.  
  
"Might have let it slip in four or five times," he said, that grin spreading across his face. "You dont love me half as much as I love you."  
  
Rolling her eyes she pulled him to her, kissing him hard on the lips, getting her hands lost in his long black hair. She moaned lightly as their kiss deepened, and she let her lips linger on his for a while. "Did I tell you how much I love kissing you?" she said, between kissing him.  
  
"Mmmhmm," Sirius said, moving his hands down Lanas arms, and then moving them sharply away as she flinched.  
  
Avoiding Sirius' eyes, she moved away from him, walking across the bedroom, she tucked her hair behind her ears.  
  
"Im sorry if I hurt your arms." he said quietly.  
  
Lana stopped, her back to Sirius, thinking how much she so didnt deserve him. He was the best, caring, understanding, he was everything that she had fallen for at school and more.The pressure of the past month of lying, even tho nothing had actually happened until last night, finally went overboard and Lana broke down crying. 


	46. Proposals

Sirius was worried. Lana saying she was scared was rare - Lana saying that she was TERRIFIED was...Impossible. Terrified. The word rang in his ears as Lana sat down on the thick, cream coloured carpet of their bedroom, crying. He felt his stomach flip, a hand squeeze his heart. Twice he had seen Lana sob - When her mother died, and when Bella, Nott and Lucius had almost killed him, Lily and James.  
  
Lana was sat on her knees, her head on her hands, and Sirius saw as he sat down next to her and put his arms around her and pulled him into his chest that she was trembling.  
  
"Lana, what is it? Jesus Christ, youre scaring me, baby tell me.." he pleaded with her as she shook and cried in his arms, and she tried to push him away from her.  
  
"Dont touch me" she managed to say after a few minutes of muttering incoherently, and she wrapped her hands around his and pulled his arms from around her, sitting looking at him, holding his hands tight.  
  
Her eyes were red and puffy, and she could barely look him in the eye. Instinctively, he knew that there was something she was going to say that he wasnt going to like. This put him on edge.  
  
"Last night - " Lana began, wondering where to start - "I wasnt...On a raid." she said, before wiping a few tears away. "I lied."  
  
Sirius' dark brown eyes narrowed in confusion and suspision. "What are you trying to tell me?"  
  
"I lied to you. I was at - " and Lana found that she couldnt say any more.  
  
What was she trying to say? "Oh God..." Sirius said, standing up, he was agitated now. "Is - is - " he took a pause, and made himself say the question. "Is there someone else?"  
  
Lana couldnt bring herself to look at him, instead covering her eyes with her hands. It wasnt exactly true, but she had been with someone else. The tears fell harder and she couldnt form an answer to the question.  
  
"I dont know whether to take your silence as a yes or as a no. Help me out a little here." He had no idea what to do or say.  
  
"No. Yes. I - No. No. No. No." Lana was babbling again and she knew it, so she shut up.  
  
There were a few minutes of silence between them, each one going to say something but then didnt. Lana used the time to gather her thoughts and she was the first to break the silence.  
  
"I was with someone else last night, but there ISNT anyone else...If you know what I mean," she said, standing up, exhausted from last night and from crying.  
  
As she walked towards him, Sirius backed off, hands in his pockets. "How about you tell me where you were."  
  
"I was on...Something for the Order. And something for work too. Undercover mission. I wasnt expecting to be there all night, but I was. And Im sorry." Lana said, meaning every word of it and she moved towards him again.  
  
Again, he backed off. "Who were you with? Where WERE YOU?!" he shouted, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW WORRIED I WAS ABOUT YOU? I HATE THAT YOU HAVE TO DO THAT FUCKING JOB, I HATE THAT YOURE ALWAYS THE ONE WHO GETS SENT OUT ON ALL THESE JOBS!"  
  
Lana flinched and tucked her hair behind her ears again, something she always did when she was nervous. "Dont you think I hate it? Dont you think I hate that Im always the one risking my life to save people? But I think thats the point, Sirius, I SAVE PEOPLES LIVES. And if I happen to die saving someone I love, so be it."  
  
Sirius looked at her, at her exhausted face, at the fact that she could barely stand and he felt his anger melt, and what was left was love, but he was still torn up about the fact that he never knew if his girlfriend was going to be coming back from work, if that kiss goodbye would be the last... "Cant you just....Not be as powerful? Say youre powers just went...Poof. Didnt come back." he said hopefully.  
  
Lana smiled a little. "I have...This undercover operation...You might hear, see, somethings about me that you dont like...But you know what its like, what with Snape coming across to our side..."  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes. He didnt trust him as far as Snape could throw Lana. Which wasnt very far, cos the greaseball wouldnt get his slimy hands on Lana. "I know, I know....Its hard sometimes, when youve got a gorgeous, powerful..."  
  
"Boyfriend who works at Hogwarts and all the schoolgirls are in love with him, and who can blame them cos hes just the best and..." Lana was stopped talking by Sirius' lips on hers.  
  
"Im sorry.." Lana said, wrapping her arms around Sirius neck and standing on her top toes, running her hands through his hair. "I didnt mean to make you worry, or freak you out or anything when I started crying, Ive just had a long night and Im tired....And Ive got to go back undercover tonight..."  
  
Sirius face fell from a grin to a frown.  
  
Lana rolled her eyes and then closed them, and leant into Sirius chest. "Aw dont ask me to stay away baby, you know I cant. But I want to. So much."  
  
Sirius grabbed Lanas hands gently and he stepped back, looking into her eyes, he said - "I love you. More than anything, ever in my whole life, in the past and Ill never love anyone or anything in the future as much as I do you." He leaned in and kissed Lana, and she kissed back, full of passion, but he forced himself to break away.  
  
"What are you doing?" Lana asked, as Sirius reached in his pocket and knelt down in front of her. Her eyes widened in shock and she felt her legs telling her to RUN RUN RUN! But she couldnt.  
  
"I know that we probably wont be able to have a big thing with lots of people because of the war, something in me is telling me that something big is going to happen soon and I want to ask you before this..Thing happens." he said quickly, hoping that Lana didnt click onto the fact that he had listened to her and Dumbledores conversation a few days earlier.  
  
"Sirius - " she began, but then couldnt form other words.  
  
"Marry me Lana." he said. Hed been planning to ask her for a few weeks now, but could never find the right time, what with one attack after another attack death after death. 


	47. Bound

"No." Lana said, pulling her hand away from Sirius'.  
  
Sirius blinked. "Huh?"  
  
"Youre only asking because you think were all going to die and you wont have to go through with it!" she said, only half-believing her words.  
  
Smiling, Sirius stood up and grabbed Lanas hands in his, looking down at her, his long dark hair falling in his eyes and Lana brushed it away lightly. "Ive never been more serious about anything. I mean it. I love you, more than youll ever know, and I want us to be together forever, bound in eternity..."  
  
Lanas eyes filled up with tears and she curled her hand around Sirius', and her other was lost in his hair, "Yes." she grinned, the first true smile in a long time, "Yes Ill marry you."  
  
Kissing her, Sirius slid the diamond ring onto the third finger of her left hand. Sighing with happiness and satisfaction, Lana pushed her body against Sirius, and he stepped backwards and sat down onto the bed, Lana in front of him.  
  
"What are you sighing at?" he asked raising an eyebrow, pushing his hair from his eyes.  
  
"Cos Im happy, happy happy!" Lana said, kissing Sirius between the happies.  
  
"Wow are you ill? You just admitted that you're happy!" he said, tracing lines with his hands on Lanas waist.  
  
"Well, its just that everytime I think Im happy, something comes and smacks me around the face, and then Im not happy...Its like...The whole world is tuned into my life and just when Im starting to feel happy, they decide to throw something in to fuck it all up for me, like its entertainment for them." said Lana, but Sirius had heard it before.  
  
"Yeah, it does seem like that sometimes..." he agreed, because it did sound true. He wrapped his arms around Lanas waist and fell back onto the bed, pulling her on top of him.  
  
"I love you so so much" Lana said, looking down at his deep brown eyes, seeing herself reflected in them.  
  
"Listen baby," Sirius said, rolling Lana off of him and laying at the side of her. "I found this spell. Because I dont think were going to have the time to have a proper wedding, I thought maybe we could use this spell..." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of parchment, with the words and a few items scrawled on it.  
  
"What does it do?" she asked, taking it off of him.  
  
"Binds our souls. Together as one, forever. Goes above and beyond marriage." Sirius said, looking into Lanas eyes.  
  
Her eyebrows raised. "So why arent more people doing it?"  
  
"Well," he said, looking uncomfortable, "I found it in a book in the Restriced Section of the Library at Hogwarts...I think its forbidden."  
  
Lanas eyebrows went down, and she shrugged. "Oh well, I dont care, as long as it does what it says."  
  
"What about the consequences?" Sirius asked  
  
"Sirius Black bothered about the consequences of his actions?! Now theres a first!" Lana said, mocking him and he tickled her stomach.  
  
"Hey, I just meant for you baby thats all."  
  
Lana sat up. "Red ribbon...That all we need?" she scanned the parchment..."And our blood. No wands? Weird..."  
  
She crossed the room and opened a drawer, pulled out some red ribbon and a small knife, similar to the one Sirius would give his Godson.  
  
They sat down on the bed, opposite each other. Lana cut two lengths of red ribbon and laid them down on the bed.  
  
"Ready?" Sirius asked Lana as he held the knife in his right hand, and Lanas right hand in his left.  
  
Taking a deep breath, Lana nodded and he cut the knife deeply and swiftly, and Lana winced as the blood swelled over the silver blade.  
  
"You okay?" he asked as the blood dripped onto the white sheets, and she nodded.  
  
Lana took the knife from Sirius and did the same, and they clasped their hands together, intertwining their fingers and felt the blood flow from one to the other as together they tied the red ribbon around their interlocked hands.  
  
They chanted :  
  
Bind these souls against the dark, against the evil!  
  
The power flows through one.  
Bind these souls forever together  
The love flows through one  
Bind these souls against the forces of nature  
The life flows through one Necto sua animae contra acerbus, contra, malum!  
  
Imperium iussu una!  
  
Contra malum, Imperium iussu una!  
  
Lana and Sirius felt a shudder of energy flow between them, going from one to the other and back again, the ribbon had a hazy red aura flowing around it, and they started to feel like someone had a pin and was stabbing it in their fingers and palms as the blood flowed between them.  
  
They repeated the words over and over, and a wind swept up around them, pushing their hair up so it flowed around their heads, making them float off the bed, both shut their eyes on instinct, so they didnt see what happened next.  
  
A shadow came out from each of them, replicating what they looked like, but it was fuzzy, like when your TV breaks, and transparent, they came together and mixed, in a bright white light, then they came apart and each went back its respective owner.  
  
Floating back down onto the bed with red and white lights lowering them gently, the wind died down and they opened their eyes.  
  
"That....Was....Intense..." Sirius said, a little breathless.  
  
"Uhuh..." Lana said, breathing heavily.  
  
The red ribbon around them had snaked up their hands and was now twirled around their wrists. Seperating their hands slowly, they each had a scar on their right palms.  
  
"Feel....Different?" Sirius asked, gently stroking Lanas hand.  
  
"A...Little..." she gasped, smiling slightly at him. 


	48. Now or Never part 1

(A.N. : firstly, i want to apologise for the chapters that havent been going up. with college and being ill, its been hard for me to write. so im writing now because i have a few free hours. ill try and update at least once a week from now on. im sorry. )  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ AN HOUR LATER ~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana stood in the hallway of her mothers house, also the Headquaters of the Order of the Phoenix. In the living room, Harry was sleeping in a cot that Lana and Sirius had brought for him. James was still at work, on the late shift. Lily was pacing the hallway, worried sick about James, and Lana was trying to calm her nerves. Sirius was sat watching Harry. Various other members were roaming the house, and Snape was somewhere.  
  
"Lil, hell be fine, its James!" Lana said, giving her friend false hope and hating it.  
  
"Dont lie to me Lana," as she walked down the hallway and opened the front door for the second time in 5 minutes to look for James.  
  
"A watched kettle never boils." said Lana, taking Lilys arm and gently pulling her away from the door. "Its only..." she looked at her watch, "6pm. Hes 10 minutes late Lils, and if he was hurt, we'd know. You'd know."  
  
Lilys bright green eyes bore into Lanas light brown ones. She sighed. "Youre right. Im just...worrying over nothing."  
  
Lanas insides squirmed. She knew for a FACT that Lily had reason to be worried, but she couldnt tell her. How do you tell your best friend that shes a prime target for Voldemort to either kill or recruit, which ever one he can do faster? But they knew anyway.  
  
Grabbing Lily in a quick hug, Lana smiled. "He'll be fine."  
  
"Thanks." Lily whispered, hugging her best friend.  
  
As they walked down the hallway, Harry whimpered. Lily sped up and was about to burst through the door that was slightly open, when Lana stopped her.  
  
"Shh" Lana said, pointing through the door.  
  
Sirius was awkwardly trying to pick Harry up, whos whimpering had now turned into small cries. He took the covers off of Harry, and gently picked him up, placing Harry against his chest, with one arm under Harry and one hand on the back of his neck, as Harry rested his head on Sirius' shoulder.  
  
Lana leant against the door frame, and fiddled with the ring on her left hand. Since theyd done the spell, Lana had felt a kind of...Completion like she had never felt before. Lily leant her head on Lanas shoulder, even tho she was a few inches taller than Lana.  
  
Harrys hair was already showing signs of being like his fathers - black and messy. The bright green eyes he got from his mother. He carried on crying for around a minute, then stopped, hiccuped, and was sick on Sirius' shoulder.  
  
"Oh, Harry!" Sirius said, holding Harry out at arms length. He inspected the damage. He frowned, then as he looked back at Harry, who looked like he was going to cry, Sirius pulled a face and Harry laughed. "Its not as bad as the time Aunty Lana was sick on me tho," he said, and then grimaced at the memory of it.  
  
Harry started to cry again and Sirius held him in one arm whilst wiping at his shirt with the other. Jiggling him slightly, Sirius walked up and down the wall, talking to Harry.  
  
"So me and Lana went into the Muggle pub, (I'll take you to one when youre a bit older, I bet youll easily drink two old men like me and your dad under the table, maybe Moony will be there too, if its not, you know, moony outside...)" Sirius paused, "and anyway, Lana starts ordering all these drinks I never even heard of, being a great and talented wizard, I have no need for Muggle things, but dont go thinking just because theyre Muggle theyre not good,"  
  
Lana felt the tears welling up in her eyes, and she bit down hard on her lip. Seeing Sirius like that with Harry made her want to have a child with Sirius, but in the midst of a war, and with the job that they both did, Lana didnt think it was such a good idea. She wanted to give the child everything that she never had, and so did Sirius - a stable home, in which they are supported in whatever choices they make. Obviously not Death-Eater choices, but Sirius said that any child with half of Lana and his genes would never be that dense, and she had to laugh. "Be like a super-child," Sirius had said, "and with my...whats the Muggle word? Movie star good looks, be a good looking super-brain as well"  
  
Lily saw the effect this was having on Lana, and after the chat they had last week, in which Lana cried her heart out, Lily stepped forward into the room.  
  
"Hey there Godfather, let the mummy in while you go get cleaned up," she said, taking Harry from Sirius.  
  
"Thanks Lil," he said, looking over at the door to Lana.  
  
His eyebrows narrowed for a second with concern, and he made a half-smile at Lana, which made her turn and walk from the doorway. He turned to Lily, who motioned for him to go after her.  
  
Lana was stood leaning against the door, her back to him. He knew that she was crying. He stood a few feet away, watching.  
  
"Hey," he said softly, "You okay?"  
  
Quickly wiping her eyes on her t-shirt, she turned around. "Yeah Im fine."  
  
"Listen, if what we were talking about the other day put pressure on you, I didnt mean to, not at all, you know that right?" he asked, hugging her.  
  
She breathed in Sirius, let her hands wander in his hair, put her face in it and then kissed him lightly on the cheek. "I have to go now. Meeting with Dumbledore and then straight to work. I will be back to tomorow afternoon at the very latest."  
  
He sighed. He hated this. "Okay then. I love you."  
  
"Not half as much as I love you." she said, kissing him again lightly and eyeballing Snape who had just walked up from the basement.  
  
"Dumbledore has just called. He wants us there right away." Snape said, eyeballing the couple he hated.  
  
"Fine," Lana said, smiling at Sirius.  
  
Snape, in his black cloak, swept down the hallway past Sirius, and walked behind Lana.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ DUMBLEDORES OFFICE ~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lanas hair that had been swept up into a neat ponytail was now falling out around her flushed face. Her fists were clenched and she had been screaming herself hoarse for the past 10 minutes.  
  
Snape stood unflinching, and Dumbledore had dropped his clam composure and stood up to meet Lanas threat.  
  
"I AM NOT DOING IT ANYMORE! YOU HEAR ME? I QUIT!" Lana screamed.  
  
"I think you are going to carry on with this mission until we have the desired information." Snape said silkily.  
  
Lana turned on him. "OH YEAH, INFORMATION WHICH YOU - " Lana pointed at him and he flinched - "COULD QUITE EASILY GET BUT YOURE JUST TOO FUCKING CHICKEN TO GET IT."  
  
"Calm yourself" Dumbledore said, an edge in his voice which Lana didnt like. "Severus is quite right. I feel sure, myself, that you will continue with this mission."  
  
"Is that A THREAT?" Lana asked, turning back to Dumbledore, putting her hands on her hips.  
  
"Interpret it however you will." Dumbledore said, sitting back down.  
  
Lana was visibly shaking with anger, and Snape took a step back. "You have no authority over me Dumbledore. Im not stupid. Youre using my love for your own purposes. You know I wont quit because it will endanger not only my life but everyone I loves, even more so than now. Only difference is, I get a heads-up on when someone I know is going to be hit. You know I wont give that up." Lana swallowed and shook her head. "You know how much this is tearing me up inside. You know how to protect the people I love I have to hurt them, to lie to them, to decieve them."  
  
"And for that, I hate you." she said, stepping out of Dumbledores office.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ THE MALFOY ESTATE ~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The black dress with the gold snake snaking from around the side fit her perfectly. The gold shoes looked great. Her long dark hair had been twisted back into an elegant bun, showing off her great shoulders and chest. Looking down, Lana never realised she had a cleavage quite like that.  
  
Lucius walked into the room, tuxedo-clad. He was talking to a small, square 6 inch screen that was hovering above him. "Everythings ready, its all prepared." He waved his wand and the screen disappeared with a small pop. He was walking and stopped in his tracks when he saw Lana.  
  
"Merlins Beard" he said softly.  
  
"Actually, Im Lana." she said, with a grin. 


	49. Back to the Present

A loud bang sounded through 12, Grimmauld Place and the door to the bedroom where Lupin and Lana were sat flung open.  
  
"Youre awake!" Harrys green eyes that had looked so dull lately had a shine to them, and he almost ran over to Lana and hugged her.  
  
Lana smiled slightly as she hugged Harry. "Nice perfume, Harry." She whispered in his ear, then tipped him a wink as he let go of her.  
  
"Dont know what youre talking about." he said, flushing.  
  
Laughing, Lana pulled him into another hug. "We'll talk later."  
  
"Are you alright? You looked...Bad when they first found you." Harrys eyes scanned Lana.  
  
"Im fine. Im alive arent I?" she said, although a part of her wished she had died. Better dead than alone.  
  
Hermione, Ron and Ginny walked into the room. Hermiones eyes suspicously looked over Lana and Lupin, then returned to Lana. Her eyes flickered back and forth, and Lana knew this meant she was trying to work something out, or was doing some very quick thinking.  
  
Ginny walked over and stood next to Harry, giving him a brief, shy smile.  
  
"Hermione." Lana said, and Lupin gave Lana a discreet pinch.  
  
"Yes?" Hermione said.  
  
"What are you trying to work out?" Lana asked.  
  
Flushing, Hermione stammered, "N-nothing."  
  
"Dont lie." said Lana, and Lupin pinched her again.  
  
"I - I just - Well, its just - Like Harry said, you were...Bad when they found you. Covered in bruises and scratches. You had one on your forehead, where some debris fell down from the house. That alone should have injured you greatly."  
  
Lana could see where this was going, and Lupin warned her again with a little pinch that got him a slap on the arm. "What are you getting at?"  
  
"Well now...After 2 days....You dont have a stratch on you."  
  
Harry stared from Hermione to Lana, then back again.  
  
Ron goggled. "Shes right you know, you looked like youd gone ten rounds with Bella - " then he stopped, remembering it had been Bella that killed Sirius.  
  
Ginny put a comforting hand on Harrys arm, and he let it rest there for a few seconds before shrugging it off.  
  
Lupin coughed loudly, and Lana stood up with a sheet wrapped around her. "I have to shower. I do have a job to go to."  
  
Hermione glared slightly, then turned and left the room.  
  
"Hey, kid - " Lana shouted, and Hermione stopped. "Ever thought about becoming an Auror?"  
  
Grinning, Hermione walked from the room, Ron and Ginny following her. Harry looked at Lana.  
  
"We'll talk later, Harry." then Lana added - "Oh, and, take good care of her."  
  
Lupin sat on the edge of the bed.  
  
"That goes for you too." Lana said, pointing to the door.  
  
"Lana - "  
  
"I know, I know, I didnt tell you what I did, but we were interrupted, can I help that, no. But I want to shower because Im sure I stink, then I have to go talk to Dumbledore, my boss, Harry, and you. And its now -" she looked at the clock - "11 am. I have things to do. Ive been out of it for 3 days."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ HALF AN HOUR LATER ~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana stood in front of the mirror in her bedroom in 12 Grimmauld Place. Being here wasnt so bad for her, because she hadnt been around when Sirius was here. But she did remember the fights Sirius and his mother used to have when they stayed here one weekend. Screaming, cursing, until Lana froze her. That was when she discovered her 4th power.  
  
Her hair was down, straightened. The layers hung below her chin. Parted in the middle. Shiny red lipstick made her full lips look perfect. A black v- neck jumper with sleeves that came just past her elbows. She quickly conjured a bandage to tie around her right wrist, to hide the scar that had been torn open again when she had used her powers. On her left wrist was a cut that was about 1 inch long, so she conjured another bandage, the same length as the other, to cover that one.  
  
Dark denim jeans sat low on her hips, but high enough to she could sit down comfortably. Her boots were black, with low heels. She placed her wand in a pocket on the outside of her leg.  
  
"Come on Lana, you can do it - Keep your game face on. Youve had plenty of practice." Thing is, she thought, you dont want to tell them the truth because it hurts so much. But you have to. Not like Dumbledore, with his lies and his half-truths.  
  
Taking a breath, Lana walked across the room and opened the door. Their was an immediate wash of hot air and the smell of cooking. Her stomach growled loudly. The noise was just about tolerable, and Lana closed the door behind her and walked across the hallway and down the stairs.  
  
At the very moment Lana got to the bottom of the stairs, someone rang the doorbell and that started the portrait of Mrs Black screaming.  
  
"Ive told people a thousand times NOT TO RING THE DOOR BELL!" Mrs Weasley shouted, coming banging out of the kitchen door.  
  
Lupin and Moody came out to pull the curtains across.  
  
"FILTHY HALF-BREEDS, MUDBLOODS, BLOOD TRAITORS, WEREWOLVES, VAMPIRES, IM GLAD MY ANCESTORS CANT SEE WHAT A MOCKERY THE HOUSE OF BLACK HAS BECOME, GET YOUR FILTHY HALF-BREED HANDS OFF OF ME!"  
  
Lana jumped, she had never seen or heard the painting before. "O--kay...." she said, walking down the hall. "Hey wait a minute," she said to Lupin and Moody who were struggling with the curtains.  
  
Standing in front of the portrait, Mrs Black took one look at her and screamed. "YOU! DANGEROUS GIRL, FIRESTARTER, BAD BAD, SHAME YOU DIDNT JOIN VOLDEMORT, YOU COULD HAVE RULED WITH HIM ! FILTHY, DIRTY GIRL, MURDERING MY REGELUS, YOU SHOULD HAVE KILLED SIRIUS, FILTHY, WORTHLESS PIECE OF TRASH OF A SON."  
  
Lana flinched at her, then laughed. "Nice to see you too, Mrs Black." She turned to Lupin and Moody, raising her voice to get over the screams of her. "Why have you never took it down?"  
  
"Cant find a spell that will work." Moody replied.  
  
Shrugging, Lana flicked her hand and the curtains covering the portrait set on fire, and Mrs Black stopped screaming insults and just screamed. "Hey, whaddya know, it works!"  
  
Moody laughed. "Burn it all then."  
  
"Nah," Lana said, conjuring up some more curtains and pulling them across the now silent Mrs Black. "Its the only entertainment weve got around here. Besides, I wanna see her face when Sirius walks back in."  
  
Moody gave Lana a look that she didnt like. So did Lupin.  
  
Moody grabbed Lana by the wrist, hard. "Ow." she said.  
  
"Youre lucky nobody else is can hear you." he growled, then let go of her wrist. They turned to see who had just walked in.  
  
It was Snape. "So the little hero is awake." he drawled.  
  
"Fuck you Snape." Lana spat.  
  
"And have Lucius' cast offs? I think not." Then he swept into the kitchen, leaving Lana flushed angrily and her fists clenched.  
  
"Git," said George, who had just apparted in from Buckbeaks room, as he walked into the kitchen.  
  
"Yep." agreed Lana.  
  
She shook herself off and looked back at Lupin and Moody. "I - What should I do now?"  
  
"Maybe you should learn to control your mouth," Moody said, half-jesting, half-serious. "I need to speak with you."  
  
"Okay then." she said.  
  
"Not here..." he said.  
  
"Okay then." she said. "Just give me a minute with Moony."  
  
Moody nodded and walked out of the front door.  
  
Lana took a breath and smiled slightly at Lupin. "I guess you can guess from what Snape said just then what I did."  
  
Slowly, Lupin nodded. He wasnt sure how he felt about anything. So confused right now.  
  
"It wasnt just that tho, there were - are, reasons that I did things that Im not proud of and would rather forget, but I cant. I have alot of explaining to do, I know, and I will, later. Just - dont form any opinions of me till then, okay?"  
  
"Nay, youre my best friend. To be honest, youre all I have. And what Ive heard, Im not impressed, but neither am I going to....I dont know." he said, being as honest as he could be.  
  
"Can I get a hug?" she asked, opening her arms a bit and stepping closer.  
  
"Course you can," he said, grinning, ruffling her hair as he hugged her tightly. "Do I need to tell you to be careful?" he whispered.  
  
"Love you," she said, then turned and walked to the door where she found Moody leaning against the wall at the bottom of the front garden.  
  
"So," Lana said, "Where did you have in mind?"  
  
"The Shrieking Shack" he said, then disapparated. 


	50. The Translation

Moody stood in the living room of the Shrieking Shack, with its windows boarded up and nobody around for a good mile. He didnt know what the translation meant, or why Lana would want it, but with Lana, there was always a selfish motive. She pretends that she does it for Moony, or for Sirius, or Harry, or Lily, or James, but the real reason is that she is scared to be alone. Always has been. All the best intentions, but it all boils down to that one thing : Fear.  
  
A loud crack made Moody jump, and he flung a stunning spell over his shoulder.  
  
"HEY!" Lana said, jumping to the side, the spell grazing her cheek. "Watch were youre pointing that thing!"  
  
The look on Moodys face told Lana that she was in for a lecture.  
  
"Lana, I have the translation. I dont know what it means, or what the significance is to you, and I really dont care." Moody growled, magical eye twirling around is his head.  
  
It was making Lana feel dizzy. She found it hard to take Moody seriously with that thing spinning around.  
  
Both eyes fixed on Lana. "But if you put anyones life in danger, and that includes yours, Lana, because I know you, and at the moment, youre feeling lonely, and I know that youd rather be dead than alone. Youve wanted to be dead for a while now, even when Sirius was alive and here."  
  
Lana stared at him.  
  
"My eye can see Auras. Yours is giving off black."  
  
Lanas face was confused.  
  
"Never mind," Moody continued, shrugging. "And I also know that the worst thing I can do is ask you not to do something, because you'll just do it anyway. But Im asking you, for Harrys sake, for your own sanity - Dont try a ressurection spell. They can turn nasty."  
  
"Uhuh..." Lana said, her face going red under his gaze, her hands trembling...She shook herself all over. "So, you gonna show me the translation or stand there lecturing me all day?"  
  
"CONSTANT VIGILANCE, Lana, I dont want you getting side tracked from the main objective - which is - TAKE VOLDEMORT DOWN - by doing things that are illegal, and have been since anyone can remember."  
  
"The translation." said Lana, holding out her hand.  
  
Moodys magical eye went haywire again, and he placed a small sheet of folded up black paper in her hand. He nodded at her and disapparated.  
  
Lana shoved the paper into her small bag, and looked around the Shack. Echoes hit her, but instead of visions, they were sounds - Remus' howls as he transformed, smashing...Then it stopped. Breathing a sigh of relief, she then screamed as she looked in the mirror and saw Lupin stood behind her.  
  
"Bloody hell, you trying to kill me?" Lana asked, not turning around to face him, just staring into the mirror at him.  
  
"You can do that all on your own," he said quietly.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You. And the suicide missions that you seem to like to go on. This hell that you put yourself through. Constantly torturing yourself about things that happened, things that you didnt do or say - "  
  
He was cut off by Lana walking away from him. "Like you care." she said.  
  
"Oh would you stop playing the martyr for one second!" he said, following her as she walked into the hallway.  
  
"SHUT UP!" she screamed, turning to face him. "You have no idea how hard this is, how hard just BEING HERE is, every minute it feels like Im dying, and you arent making things any easier."  
  
Lupin took a step back. "You mean the other morning."  
  
"Yeah, I mean the other morning. Im confused enough, without - " Lana stopped, realising something.  
  
Lupin looked into her brown eyes, and saw a frightened, confused child in them. But also looking back at him was a girl older than her time, feeling, or starting to feel, some kind of emotion that she didnt want to, or wasnt ready for. Damn, I hate being a werewolf, Lupin thought, picking up on peoples emotions...  
  
He suddenly shifted and looked uncomfortable. "Um, Lana...The other night, I, er, er...Went on a date with Tonks."  
  
"What?" Lana said, stepping towards him, wondering why she felt so hurt. Oh, maybe it was cos she SAVED HIS LIFE and it almost cost her hers and while she was injured he was off getting laid!  
  
He felt guilty. She was badly injured, and he was off on a date...Not that he really wanted to, but Tonks had convinced him that what he needed was a night off, some fun...And he had had fun. Just not the kind of fun he had with Lana. He didnt feel anything for Tonks, but still...  
  
"I went on a date with Tonks," he repeated slowly.  
  
"When I was...Unconcious in bed for 2 almost 3 days?" she asked, her hands going to her hips.  
  
Lupin was thinking of what to say. "Well, yeah." Oops. That did not come out as he had planned.  
  
"Well..." Lana swallowed hard, not sure what to say. "At least your honest about it..."  
  
"Yeah, unlike some people who go around other peoples backs." Lupin said, trying to hurt her, yet he immediately regretted it.  
  
"Oh - right. I get it now. No, no, its fine...You just...You just think what the hell you like." Lana said. "This is about the Lucius thing. I get it. You dont know what happened, you dont - You know what - "  
  
Lupin reached out for her but Lana yanked her hand away.  
  
"Stay the hell away from me, dont touch me, dont TOUCH ME!" she screamed, storming past him without another word or glance back.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ LANAS OFFICE, THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana had snuck into her office at around noon, and it was now 1pm. Someone had obviously told her boss, and her Amelia had given everyone strict instructions to leave Lana alone, bar Harding.  
  
Scattered on Lanas desk and around her office floor were files every known or suspected Death Eater, past or present, dead or alive, Azkaban or free. However, the only persons she was actually looking at was Bellatrix Lestrange.  
  
And she wasnt really looking at that.  
  
The piece of black paper was unfolded, and Lana read the gold writing on it.  
  
(~*From under the pale disc of moon, came that feeling like a shadow like a vision from a past time.*~)  
  
"From under the pale disc of moon, came that feeling like a shadow like a vision from a past time....From under the...." Lana had been repeating the words to herself for a good half an hour, and still they made no sense what so ever. Throwing herself into her work was usually her way to take her mind off whatever she wanted, but this was so bloody hard to figure out that it really wasnt working.  
  
Lupin going out with Tonks had really hurt her, because he had done it when she was injured, because Tonks was really...Well, not the type of girl Lupin usually went for. It was because 2 days after they had slept together, in the spur of the moment, in a moment of loneliness and shared pain, he had gone on a date with some girl he barely knew.  
  
It was driving her nuts - Sirius, Lucius, The Ghost Roads, Harry, Bella, and this bloody riddle...Lana was on total emotional overload. 


	51. Tension

There was a soft knocking on Lanas office door.  
  
"Come in," she said, tucking the black paper in the front pocket of her jeans.  
  
The door slowly creaked open and Harding walked in.  
  
"I cant get the files you wanted. For some reason theyre in the Department of Mysteries, and they wont let me in."  
  
"For some reason theyre in the DoM? Maybe its because theyre DoM's jurisdiction, not ours...." Lana snapped.  
  
Harding faltered for a second, and Lana sighed.  
  
"Im sorry, Im just...Tired. Amongst other things. Is there anyway to get hold of them?"  
  
"I was getting to that, before you snapped. Because youre...Who you are, and youre mother was, well, who she was, you can go get them. They wont give them to me in case Im lying and using them to gather intelligence for Voldemort." he shuddered, "Like I would. But these security measures are needed, especially after what happened with Bode..."  
  
There was a silence for a few moments, and then Lana said. "Its happened already, hasnt it?"  
  
"What has?"  
  
"Its already got to the point where we cant trust our own. We dont know who we can and cant trust. I hate that."  
  
"Me too. Well, I'll leave you to it."  
  
Harding left the room.  
  
Lana stood up, grabbed her wand and walked out of her office, locking it with the key Sirius had given her years ago. Glancing at her watch, she saw that it was now half past 1. Her stomach rumbled, but she really didnt feel like eating. She felt sick. She was actually feeling kind of cold, and she shivered slightly.  
  
As she walked across the Department, she felt everybodys eyes on her, but she really couldnt care. Somebody walked into Lana carrying an armful of folders and papers, and dropped them all over the floor.  
  
"Watch it!" Lana said, as papers went into the air and floated around so that Lana couldnt see who it was, until the girl with shocking pink hair stood up.  
  
"Sorry boss," Tonks said, blushing furiously.  
  
"Boss?" Lana repeated, not bothering to help Tonks pick the things up. It wasnt personal, but Lana had a tendancy to not care about people who were below her in rank. She cared when they were out in battle, her main prioriy was keeping them alive, but in the office, they needed to know their places.  
  
"Yeah, Im on your team, in your section, didnt Harding tell ya?" Tonks said, dropping a folder again, more paper going over the floor. From the look on Lanas face, "Apparently not," she added.  
  
"I pick my team, and I dont remember asking for you." said Lana coldly.  
  
Tonks nose popped a few times, changing shape, as it did when she was under pressure. She was dating Lupin and Lana was one of the most important people in Lupins life, and she wanted to be friends with Lana. "Well you got me."  
  
"We'll see about that." she said, walking past Tonks, stepping on the papers.  
  
Tonks stared after, knowing that Lana had a reputation for being a bit of an ice-queen at work, even more than Amelia, but to go that far when they knew each other...But of course Lana would have to act like she didnt know Tonks. Or maybe Lana was just pissed off that Lupin had gone a date with someone when she was hurt. Tonks made her mind up to talk to Lana at dinner that night.  
  
Lana made her way through the mish-mash of people scurrying from desk to desk, voices raised, people coming down the shoots with Floo Powder into peoples work spaces, feeling angry with herself. Tonks had done nothing wrong, she didnt know about Lana and Remus, but that still didnt stop Lana from being a bitch to her.  
  
Knocking on Amelias door, Lana felt her stomach growl again. She hadnt eaten for 3 days, but she just couldnt force herself to eat with the way she was feeling right now. She walked into her office, and Amelia was talking with someone in the fireplace. Amelia hadnt noticed Lanas entrance.  
  
"I can see your point, Remus, but I really think Lana is best here at work."  
  
"No, shes not, cant you understand what shes been through? Coming back, everythings different - "  
  
"Yes, and the normality she has is coming to work like she used to. I dont care why she hasnt aged, where shes been, shes a bloody good Auror and we need everyone that we can get. Are you forgetting that youre still gracing us with your presence because of her?"  
  
"No, of course not, but - "  
  
Lana coughed and Amelia spun around in her chair. There was a small pop and Lupin had disappeared.  
  
"Been there long?" Amelia said, smiling. She knew that Lana was furious. "He just cares about you, thats all. So, what do you want?"  
  
"I need to get in contact with someone who works in the DoM. They have files I need and want."  
  
"You need clearance?"  
  
Lana nodded. "As soon as possible. Like right now."  
  
"You are aware that the only person who can give you clearance into the DoM is the head of the Department?"  
  
"Yes, I know."  
  
"And that hes currently not here?"  
  
"Oh. That I didnt know." Damn, Lana thought. I need those files now.  
  
"The heads due back tomorrow." Amelia continued.  
  
"Right." Yeah, if hes not dead, Lana thought.  
  
"Anything else?"  
  
"Any idea where he is?", Lana asked, knowing that it was a stupid question. Of course she didnt know. "I'll speak to you tomorow then."  
  
When she got to the door, Amelia spoke.  
  
"Lana - what you did the other day - incredibly brave, but incredibly stupid. You have a team. You could have contacted them before you went running off. We dont have time for heroics."  
  
"Amelia - In my experience, heroics is all we have time for. Heroics saves lives."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ 12, GRIMMAULD PLACE, 5PM~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny were sat in their shared bedroom - they had to double up, since Lupin and Lana were here, and Harry had told everyone NOT to touch Sirius' old room - listening to the new album from the Weird Sisters.  
  
Hermione and Ginnys bunk bed was on the left side of the room, and Harry and Rons on the right. Hermione noticed that Harry was paying much more attention to Ginny than usual, and at first Hermione wasnt so thrilled, but it made Harry happy, or seemed to, so Hermione said nothing.  
  
Harry and Ginny sat on the girls bunk, and Ron and Hermione on the boys. Ron wanted extra tutoring from Hermione with Transfiguration, and Hermione said she would if he actually listened to her, so that left Harry and Ginny with a lot of time alone.  
  
"Ron! Youre not paying attention! And that musics not helping." scolded Hermione as Rons attention wavered again when his favourite song came on.  
  
"Sorry" he said, his ears flushing ever so slightly.  
  
"Come on, were going somewhere where theres not so many distractions."  
  
"But I love this song!"  
  
"Do you want to improve on Transfiguration Ronald Weasley?" Hermione said, half-serious, half-joking.  
  
Ron stood up, his book clutched under his arm. "Fine. See ya later Harry, Ginny."  
  
Hermione grabbed her book and the two walked out of the room, leaving Harry and Ginny alone.  
  
"When will those two just admit that they like each other?" Ginny asked, to no-one in paticular, shaking her head.  
  
"Yeah, Im sure theyre doing Transfiguration, since when does Ron want to learn?" Harry said, grinning.  
  
"Never." said Ginny, smiling back at Harry. She sighed as Harrys hand found hers, entwining their fingers.  
  
Harry looked at Ginny, with a serious look on his face. "Thankyou." he said, "For being here these past few days."  
  
"Youre welcome," said Ginny, blushing slightly.  
  
"I mean it. I can talk to you like I cant talk to anyone else. Its mainly to do with Voldemort, the fact that you know what its like to have him messing with your head, you can understand me in a way that Hermione and Ron cant. But its also because, for the first time since Sirius - you make me...." Harry shook his head. "Im no good at this. I wasnt with Cho,and Im sure - "  
  
"Harry, you dont have to say anything. I know." Ginny said gently, squeezing his hand.  
  
"I really like you Ginny, I do, and I dont want you to get hurt because of me."  
  
"Well, things that want to hurt me tend to find me and do it anyway, no matter who Im with." she said.  
  
"No, I meant - I tend to do stupid things."  
  
"Ive noticed." Ginny said, arching an eyebrow. "I mean, look at that hairstyle...."  
  
"Hey!" Harry said, pulling his hand away from Ginnys to flatten his hair down. "Well what about your stupid hairstyle?" he asked.  
  
"Huh?" Ginny said, her hair was curly, down, the usual...  
  
Harry messed her hair up with both hands, scooped it up and ran his hands through it, making it messy.  
  
"Oh Mr Potter, youre going to pay for that!" laughed Ginny, grabbing a pillow and smacking him around the head with it.  
  
Laughing, Harry grabbed the pillow and yanked it away from Ginny, and he fell backwards, Ginny with him as she still had hold of the pillow. She landed on top of him, pillow seperating them. 


	52. Reflection

(Authors Note : Short chapter, but Ill update again sometime this week.)  
  
Mrs Weasleys voice sounded through the house, "DINNER!", and there were footsteps heard throughout the house, with Fred and George popping their heads around the corner to say "hi" to Harry and Ginny, who had stood up and were attempting to sort their hair out.  
  
Downstairs in the kitchen sat Kingsley, Bill, Charlie, Lupin, Tonks, Ron, Hermione and Mr Weasley. Tonks was fidgeting nervously, Lupin was looking depressed, Bill and Kinsgley were deep in conversation about Gringotts and the Goblins, and idle chatter filled the room.  
  
Fred, George, Harry and Ginny added to the noise when they walked in. Mrs Weasley began putting the pots filled with food on the tables.  
  
"Wheres Lana?" Tonks asked Lupin, and she spilt her glass of water all over his robes. "Im so sorry," she said.  
  
"I dont know," said Lupin, standing up. "Im going to change."  
  
He walked out of the kitchen, thinking that Tonks had asked a good question. Where was Lana? Taking off his robe, underneath he was wearing a pair of dark blue denim jeans and a white t-shirt. He threw the robe down the laundry chute and walked into the living room. He disapparated and re- appeared in Lanas office.  
  
It was empty. Usually there would be files scattered all over the place, but it was strangely bare. Frowning, he disapparated back to 12, Grimmauld Place.  
  
He walked out of the living room and bumped into Tonks.  
  
"I was just coming to look for you," she said, going to kiss him but he turned to the side and she kissed his cheek.  
  
"Well now youve found me," he said, distantly.  
  
"Are you okay?" Tonks asked.  
  
"No. Ive just been to Lanas office and I cant find her."  
  
"Thats because shes staying at the Leaky Cauldron," said Tonks, going on to explain, "She just sent Harry an Owl telling him not to worry and that she has work to do that she cant concentrate on here, that shell pop in to see him tomorow."  
  
"Oh." said Lupin, putting his hands in his pockets.  
  
"Something you wanna tell me?" she asked.  
  
"What is it with you Tonks, always asking me 20 bloody questions." snapped Lupin, then he sighed. "Me and Lana have had a bit of a....Fall out. Shes not speaking to me."  
  
"Why?" said Tonks.  
  
"There you go again, always asking questions!" he said, and stormed off upstairs.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ THE LEAKY CAULDRON 8PM~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana had the Death Eater files stacked up in one corner of the room, a few candles lit. She was sat on the bed, legs crossed, eyes closed, concentrating on her breathing. Hovering about a foot off the bed, meditating. Letting everything that was irritating her, go. Disappear for half an hour. She was hungry, but she wouldnt, couldnt eat.  
  
Her mind was on the translation that Moody had given her. "From under the pale disc of moon..."  
  
Something inside Lanas brain clicked, and fell back to the bed with a yelp.  
  
"Ive got it! I know what it means....Oh God..." she scrambled for a pen and paper to write a note to Lupin, and them remembered that she wasnt speaking to him. With a sigh, she picked up the pen and wrote to Moody.  
  
"Moody, Ive figured it out.  
  
'From under the pale disc of moon, came that feeling like a shadow like a vision from a past time.'  
  
Describes what happens on the Ghost Roads! Well, its what happens to me.  
  
The shadow refers to the darkness, shadows all around, and theres one slant of light, which is the moon. Then I get this feeling inside, of what I dont know, but then I see Sirius' shadow, his outline, and feel his presence. At first he walks slowly, and I see him as he was when he died. But then when he steps into the light, under the moon, he gets younger, 'a vision from a past time', like he was before the end of the last war.  
  
But Im still confused. I know what it means, but I dont know what it means. Im making a copy of this and sending it to Dumbledore.  
  
Lana x"  
  
Lana wrote out another copy, and she sent the owl she had just brought herself off with them.  
  
Leaning back against the wall, Lana sighed. She missed Lupin. He hadnt know what hed said, he hadnt known that it would wound her more deeply than hed thought.  
  
But she was still angry. Angry that she didnt have the files that she needed, angry that Lupin had hurt her, angry that he had gone on a date with Tonks, angry that Sirius was dead, angry that she wasnt dead, she wanted to be dead, just have all this pain slip away, and feel no more...  
  
It was like before. Not knowing who to trust, but trust was the thing that kept you alive, when you trusted that your friends and family and co-worker will come back for you, wont let you die, and at the same time, put your trust in the wrong person, and it would be the key to your undoing. Like Lily and James and Sirius with Peter. Love was the same. Loving someone, and having them love you like nobody else on the Earth, in this Universe matters, was what got you through the rough times. But loving someone also left you open, weak, and gave people the opportunity to hurt you by hurting someone that you love.  
  
There were no "safe" things to do in this world - everything comes with a risk, some small, some huge...Everything requires a sacrifice.  
  
Lana slid down the wall into a sitting position, and stared ahead, but saw nothing... 


	53. Unwanted Love?

(AN : sorry about the lateness. little bit of fluff....sirius lovers, DONT KILL ME PLEASE! let me know what u think of this chapter.)  
  
After storming off from Tonks, Lupin felt guilty. He was taking it out on her and it wasnt her fault. Still, Lana wasnt around for him to be angry at so someone had to take the flack. But that was wrong. He was angry at himself. So Lana was at the Leaky Cauldron. And thats where he needed to be. Making his mind up, Lupin walked down the stairs.  
  
Tonks was stood by the door.  
  
"If I said something earlier to upset you, Im sorry - " there was a crash as Tonks walked towards Lupin and tripped over her own two feet.  
  
Laughing a little, Lupin walked over and helped her up. "Its okay. Its my fault. Im just - I have to go talk to Lana." Planting a kiss on Tonks blushing cheek, he walked out of the door.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ THE LEAKY CAULDRON, 9 PM ~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana was sat downstairs in the bar of the Leaky Cauldron, sorting out her emotions the only way she knew how - by getting totally drunk. For the past half an hour, it had been one Firewhisky after another, and now Lana was sat at the bar, halfway down a bottle of Butterbeer. Her jeans were slung low, and she had to admit to herself that she was getting a little bit of a beer belly. Oh well, Lana thought. Fuck it.  
  
Her hair was tied back loosely, bits falling in her face. She had left her jacket in her room, and her bare arms had small cuts and bruises on, the most obvious being the one her so called "friend" had inflicted on her one Halloween. It stung slightly because of the magic she had used to save Lupin had torn it open. Of course it had healed after a few hours, but the burn still remained.  
  
The door of the Leaky Cauldron flung open, and despite the crowd that had gathered slowly over the past few hours, Lana still felt the breeze on her bare arms. Taking another sip of her Butterbeer, a blinding pain shot through her arm.  
  
Falling backwards, Lana was somewhat suprised to feel a pair of strong arms catch her before she hit the wooden floor.  
  
"Careful." said a voice she recognised, and immediately got angry at.  
  
"Get off me!" Lana said, shrugging Lupin off her and standing unsteadily on her feet.  
  
Lupin stared at her. "Next time I'll just let you fall. And crack your head on the floor."  
  
"Well you do that then," said Lana, turning back to the bar. "Not like I'd die anyway..." she muttered, leaning against the bar.  
  
"We need to talk." said Lupin, standing at the side of her.  
  
"Oh, you still here?" asked Lana, not looking at him.  
  
"Grow up Lana." snapped Lupin.  
  
Raising an eyebrow, Lana turned to him. "I wish I could. I wish I could just grow old really quick and die. But, I cant. Not like I havent tried to die." Taking another gulp of her Butterbeer, Lana turned back away from him. "Now leave me alone."  
  
"Look, Im sorry. I dont know what I said to you back there that upset you so much, and I dont even know why Im apologising to someone who is so self- involved, but I am."  
  
"Im self-involvled?!" spluttered Lana.  
  
"Yeah, you are. You think youre in pain? You didnt see him die. I did." said Lupin, feeling his anger rise.  
  
Tears rose in Lanas eyes, but she forced them away. "And so you bring it back to Sirius. Maybe its YOU that upset me."  
  
"Maybe you just need to lighten up a little."  
  
Lana stared. Then she indicated her bottle. "Thats what Im doing."  
  
Rolling his eyes, Lupin ordered himself one. "I dont think you should drink any more."  
  
"Strangely, I really dont care what you think." said Lana.  
  
"Yes you do."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"If you didnt care, and were angry at me, you wouldnt still be stood here." taunted Lupin, hoping it would calm her down, because it used to.  
  
"See ya then." said Lana, pushing past a few witches and wizards as she made her way to the door, leaving her Butterbeer on the bar.  
  
"Dammit," muttered Lupin, leaving his drink and walking after Lana.  
  
Stepping outside, a few drops of rain fell. "ITS THE MIDDLE OF JUNE!" screamed Lana at the sky.  
  
Her head was spinning, and from the feeling in the pit of her stomach, she knew that she had drank far too much.  
  
"Lana!" shouted Lupin, then stopped as he saw her.  
  
"Just cant leave it can you?" snapped Lana.  
  
"Id leave it if you told me what Ive done thats so wrong." said Lupin, walking towards her.  
  
"Leave me alone, I dont want to talk to you." said Lana, walking away.  
  
"Tell me how I can make it right! Dammit Lana, youre my best friend, I need you!"  
  
"Yeah, you need me when YOU want me, but not when I want you."  
  
"Thats not true and you know it."  
  
"And with that pink-haired girl running around after you all doe-eyed, really seems like you need me." Lana half-shouted over the thunder, as the rain poured down harder.  
  
"So this is about Tonks." said Lupin, sort of clicking on but not really.  
  
"Yes - No - I dont know. Its about you, and its about me. Its - " a clap of thunder drowned out Lanas words and Lupin walked over.  
  
"Maybe we should go inside."  
  
"You can. Wherver you are, Im not." said Lana, turning around and carrying on walking away from him.  
  
"Now you really are being stupid, were getting soaked out here."  
  
"Let me take this opportunity to tell you how much I DONT CARE!" screamed Lana, the wind howling around her and the rain coming down harder. "ITS THE MIDDLE OF JUNE!" she screamed at the sky again.  
  
"Lana, just tell me whats bugging you."  
  
"I cant be around you right now, okay? Just accept that."  
  
"I wont."  
  
"Still stubborn."  
  
"So are you. Just tell me what it is. Please."  
  
"Fine. Fine." said Lana, pushing her wet hair from her face. "You really wanna know?"  
  
"Yes, yes I do." said Lupin, not sure that he really wanted to.  
  
"Well...Youre not knowing." said Lana, her heart thumping. She had barely admitted it to herself, and to say it out loud, to the very person she was thinking about...Didnt bare thinking about.  
  
Lupin walked over to her. "Tell me."  
  
"What if you dont like what you hear?" asked Lana, shivering slightly.  
  
"Then its my fault."  
  
"What if I dont like what Im saying?" asked Lana, "What if Im afraid of what it..." shaking her head, Lana shut her eyes.  
  
"Just say it. Youll never know until you say it." Lupin was shaking, from the cold and from nerves. He knew Lana was about to say something huge, and his curiosity over what it was was over-riding his brain telling him not to know.  
  
"I cant be around you because....It hurts too much. When you told me about Tonks, it wasnt just the fact that Id been ill and youd been out, I mean I thought it was, but...Then I realised that it wasnt." Lana took a breath. "I dont even know why Im saying this. Its because you went out with some else. Someone...Other than me. And I know its wrong, because I love Sirius, I really do, but I have to face facts - Hes dead." Tears fell at this point. "And the other morning, when I woke up and you were there, and then we - Well it changed things. It changed me. Made me feel things that I - I shouldnt be feeling."  
  
Lupin licked his lips. "I know it changed things." he said quietly.  
  
"And I cant be around you because of these feelings. They go - beyond friendship. Theyre new, and their small feelings, but theyre there. And its confusing. And I feel guilty, and I just - " Lana made a motion with her hands, at the side of her head.  
  
Lupin knew what Lana was talking about, because he felt it himself. A stirring inside him. And he didnt mean the wolf. He knew he shouldnt, but his hand just had a life of its own...He reached out and wiped the tears from her cheeks.  
  
"I think I might be falling in - " But Lupin put a finger over her lips.  
  
"Dont say it." he whispered. 


	54. Clearance

(AN sorry its took so long, again, got a 2000 word essay to write...lol..so its a short chapter...will update soon tho.)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ THE GHOST ROADS ~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh..." screamed Sirius as he felt like his insides were being torn out, and he was aware that he was moving at a very high speed.  
  
Closing his eyes and clenching his fists, he tried to work through the pain, but this time it was more intense. All he could think about was the pain.  
  
And then it was gone, as quick as it had come. He was suddenly aware of a bright light and people looking at him.  
  
He blinked quickly, trying to get the light to go from his eyes. He recognised the place as the ampitheatre in which he had died.  
  
"Hmm. Interesting. Very interesting...." muttered a female voice he didnt recognise.  
  
Looking around for the voice, he saw a young woman with long dark hair sitting in front of him, about 5 metres away.  
  
He tried to get a closer look, but the pain in his body had kicked in again and all he could think about was the pain.  
  
"Where did you go?" asked the little boy.  
  
Panting, Sirius looked up at him. He was lying down. On what, he didnt know. "Its getting worse....This time...I actually went...Somewhere...Not just the pain."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ DIAGON ALLEY ~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana angrily slapped Lupins hand away from her. She had just come to her senses, like it wasnt really her that had almost said "I love you" to Lupin, and that Sirius was dead...  
  
Shaking her head, trying to clear her head. "I have to go..." she muttered, and ran away at top speed, through the hammering rain and away from Lupin.  
  
Lupin stared after her. Did what he think just happen actually happen?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ 12, GRIMMAULD PLACE, NEXT DAY, 1PM~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Tonks walked in through the front door and fell over Crookshanks. "Wotcher!"  
  
Lupin came out of the kitchen and saw Tonks. "We need to talk..." he said, and Tonks heart dropped. She knew what that meant.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ LANAS OFFICE, 2PM~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"I didnt think youd need a personal file on him." said Moody, who had been with Lana for 10 minutes, as she had asked him to come over.  
  
"I dont, unfortunately..." said Lana, shutting the Lucius Malfoy file. She had a strange sense of deja-vu.  
  
Having been awake for over 24 hours, Lana was sipping strong black coffee and shuddering. She hated it but she needed it to keep awake. Feeling and looking ill, Lana turned around to Moody.  
  
"Im sorry to involve you in this, but I really need your help."  
  
Moody sat down on the chair opposite Lana. "What does it involve?"  
  
Shifting uncomfortably, Lana tried to keep eye contact. "Dark stuff."  
  
Moody stood up. "No."  
  
"Youve got contacts, you know people." Lana said hurriedly, standing up.  
  
"So do you. I think Dumbledores right on this one - Leave well alone." he said gruffly, before leaving Lanas office.  
  
"Shit." muttered Lana, sitting back down.  
  
Something flew into Lanas office and dropped a paper on her desk. Lana picked it up and opened it.  
  
"Lana, You have clearance for the Department of Mysteries. Just for 24 hours. Take what you need. You owe me one."  
  
It wasnt signed. No need to sign it. The only person who could give clearance was the Head of Department. Extra security measures since Voldemorts break in.  
  
Lana walked out of her office and headed for the DoM. 


	55. Secrets and Lies : Part Two

(AN : Writing keeps my mind off it. So here goes.)  
  
Lana was walking down the corridor towards the Department of Mysteries when she saw a tall boy with messy black hair and bright green eyes strolling towards her.  
  
"Harry?" asked Lana, walking faster to get to him.  
  
"This place is like a maze..." muttered Harry, not seeing Lana through the crowds of people. He was sick of Lupin walking around with a long face and besides, he wanted to see his Godmother.  
  
"Harry!" shouted Lana, pushing past a few people, then Harry turned a corner into the Aurors reception area so Lana Disapparated and appeard again next to Harry as he stood at the desk, trying to get the receptionist to tell him where Lana is.  
  
"Next time my Godson asks where I am, tell him straight away." Lana said pointedly to Jessica, the receptionist.  
  
Harry smiled at Lana as she took his arm and walked back towards her office, past the double doors and taking Harry around the maze the quickest way she knew how. "Ive got some questions to ask you.." began Harry, but Lana cut him off.  
  
"Not here....Wait till we get into my office..."  
  
"Yeah because these little cubicles are so private..." muttered Harry.  
  
Raising an eyebrow, Lana walked quickly as she saw bright prink hair approaching her. Turning down a wider corridor, they approached Lanas office. Harry stared at the glass doors that were currently bright red and swirling with mist and tiny gold flecks in it, with a lightning streak shooting across.  
  
"Its enchanted to match my mood...So people know when not to interrupt me..." said Lana, smiling slightly at Harrys frightened face. "Im not angry at you, dont worry....Or maybe Ive got a reason to be, I dont know yet..."  
  
Tonks reached Lanas office just as Lana slammed the door shut.  
  
Harry noticed the 3 mirrors in Lanas office, the one in the middle having "Sirius" engraved underneath, and the other two blank. The desk was heaving with files, each in different colour folders with notes scrawled on them, and various magical items, a Pensieve and some things Harry didnt recognise.  
  
"Why do you get the big office and Tonks and Kingsley get smaller ones?" asked Harry, sitting down on the couch that Lana had just conjured.  
  
"Because Im higher up." said Lana, as if that explained everything.  
  
"Why? Youve only just got back and you have all these privelages...And youre a pretty young Auror anyway..." rambled Harry.  
  
"I know. Its because Im damn good at my job..." replied Lana, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. She had somewhere to be, something to do and it wasnt that she didnt want to see Harry, its just..The other thing is more important.  
  
"Didnt they ask lots of questions? Like where youve been and why youre still young?" asked Harry.  
  
"You mean like you are now?" snapped Lana. "Im sorry, I just...Lots of stress at the minute. Listen, Harry, not to sound rude, but I have something to do, something that I can only do in the next 24 hours, so - "  
  
"You have to go. Good. Ill come with you. After all, I do want to be an Auror...Be good to see what you do." said Harry, smiling.  
  
"Harry...." began Lana slowly, "Im not....Im not your typical Auror. I have...Privelages that others dont. I do things that others dont, that others cant, and shouldnt have to do...And to be honest, I dont want to expose you do it."  
  
"WHY? BECAUSE IM ONLY 16?!" shouted Harry, standing up. "IM NOT A CHILD WHY DO YOU TREAT ME LIKE ONE?!"  
  
"I dont treat you like a child. Im the only one who doesnt." said Lana calmly. "To be honest again...I dont know what Im exposing MYSELF to, this is all new ground for me."  
  
"Then someone should come with you....Make sure your safe..." said Harry, knowing that he had been wrong to shout at Lana.  
  
Shaking her head, Lana sighed. "Harry, this place Im going to....You have to have special clearance. Since Voldemorts little sheep broke into the DoM, you have to request it....And only I have it for the next 24 hours."  
  
"Oh....Right." said Harry, looking a little downcast.  
  
Lana looked at him. The sadness in his green eyes, the slump of his shoulders, the...Lipstick on his neck! "HARRY POTTER!" shouted Lana.  
  
He jumped off his seat and looked around. "What?"  
  
"Whos been attacking your neck?" grinned Lana as Harry blushed furiously, wiping at it. "Ooooooooooo Harry Potter, if your parents could see that...."  
  
Walking across the room Lana grabbed Harry in a hug and ruffled his hair. "Bless ya...." she said, kissing his forehead. "Whos the lucky girl then?"  
  
"Ginny Weasley..." he mumbled, blushing furiously again.  
  
"Aww....Aint it cute..." said Lana, laughing at him.  
  
Harry was embarassed and touched that Lana was laughing at him and hugging him, but he had something to say. "So are you and Lupin." he said, slightly colder than he intended it to be.  
  
Lana stopped laughing and looked at Harry. "Whats that supposed to mean?"  
  
"He broke up with Tonks this morning. Your name was mentioned, and I know youre doing something with him." said Harry, shaking a little.  
  
"Harry....Lupins helping me with..A project. Hes my best friend, and, along with you, hes all I have left, and Im not going to let anyone hurt him." said Lana, slowly and carefully.  
  
"What happened last night?" Harry asked quietly, not sure he wanted to know the answer. Shes supposed to love Sirius.  
  
"We argued. I walked off. Havent spoke since." said Lana quickly.  
  
"About what?" asked Harry.  
  
Rubbing her temples, Lana sighed.  
  
"You argued with Moody as well."  
  
"Yes I did." said Lana, not looking at Harry,  
  
"About what?"  
  
"What is this, ask your Godmother 20 questions?" snapped Lana.  
  
"I DESERVE THE TRUTH!" shouted Harry. "YOURE SUPPOSED TO LOVE SIRIUS AND YOURE DOING...GOD KNOWS WHAT WITH HIS BEST FRIEND!"  
  
Lana was shocked. "I do love Sirius. But Harry..."  
  
"DONT 'BUT HARRY' ME, I CAN SEE THERES SOMETHING BETWEEN YOU TWO! WHAT ABOUT SIRIUS?"  
  
"Im going to say this once and Im going to say it clearly - Sirius. Is. Dead." said Lana, clenching her fists, knowing that everything Harry was saying was true, and that she wanted Sirius back more than anything in all the worlds, but also knowing it was damn near impossible.  
  
"HE IS NOT DEAD! HE WAS STUNNED AND THEN HE FELL! I SAW HIM LAST NIGHT!" screamed Harry, and he carried on ranting about how Lana loves Sirius and how she should be doing something to get him back, but he stopped when he saw that Lana had gone deathly white.  
  
"Lana?" Harry asked softly, as her eyes glazed over red and she went even whiter... 


	56. Truth

(A.N. : Very short chapter, but will update ASAP)  
  
Harry stared at Lana. She looked like she was having some kind of fit, but as quickly as it had appeared, it went.  
  
Shaking her head, Lana looked at Harry. "Im sorry, did you just say something?"  
  
"I saw Sirius last night." whispered Harry, falling down onto the sofa.  
  
Lana studied his face for a moment. "You did?" she asked, sitting next to him.  
  
"Yeah..." Harry ruffled his hair.  
  
"What....How..." Lana mumbled, not sure what to say.  
  
"He told me to give you a message. Hurry up." looking confused, Harry shook his head.  
  
Lana licked her lips. "Okay, okay....How did you see him? What....You need to tell me all the details..."  
  
"I thought you were busy...And then you...freaked out..."  
  
"I am busy...But this relates to what Im busy with...And I didnt..Freak out...That was just someone...Trying to contact me with...Never mind..I cant explain it to myself never mind you..."  
  
Harry suddenly found himself feeling very suspicious of Lana. "What are you planning?"  
  
Lana looked away for a moment, then turned back to Harry. She was unsure of whether she should tell Harry, but, as usual, her judgement wavered when it came to things Harry should and shouldnt know. "Im...I think Ive found a spell, a study, something inside me...and Sirius...to do with the Veil..My mother studied it was long as she lived...She was murdered just as the war started kicking off...I dont know by who, or why, but I think it has something to do with the Veil, the afterlife....And ressurection..." 


	57. The Hall of Records : The Beginning

( AN :  
  
Katie Lupin Black : You flatter me way too much! My head will never get out of the front door! But thankyou so much for what you said. Made me smile for the first time in a while. :D  
  
Well, new year, new start...So heres your new chapter!!  
  
Hope you all had a good xmas and that you have a good new year, with no heartache. Take care of yourselves.)  
  
Harry didnt know what to say. Resurrection? But hadnt Dumbledore told him that it was damn near impossible, and besides, things could go very very wrong?  
  
"I know what youre thinking Harry...But theres a lot Dumbledore doesnt know. He likes to think he knows 'enough'...But he doesnt. He really doesnt." Lana said.  
  
"So...Youre saying that...We can bring him back?" Harry asked slowly.  
  
"No. Not we. Me."  
  
"I want to help." said Harry, throwing himself into the idea, not really anything new, he never thought about the consequences of his actions.  
  
"And you will." Lana looked around, and then back at Harry. "Later. But I have to go now. And try and dig something up that my mother was studying. As soon as I find anything, Ill tell you."  
  
Harry stood up to leave, numb with excitement and nervousness.  
  
"Not a word to anyone, Harry...I could get into a lot of trouble for this..."  
  
Harry nodded. He couldnt speak. He was going to get his Godfather back...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ THE DEPARTMENT OF MYSTERIES~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana stood in front of the doors to the DoM. Her hands were shaking slightly as a magical scanner ran beams of red and blue lights across her and through her.  
  
"Entrance granted." said a voice, and the heavy metal doors slid open.  
  
Trembling from head to foot, Lana stepped through the doors, and was immediately greeted by her mothers partner in crime, Tyler Lestrange.  
  
"Havent you aged nicely." said Tyler dryly. They had never seen eye to eye.  
  
"You havent." replied Lana. His hair was grey and clipped short, military style. Wrinkles etched his face. He was tall, over 6 foot, and at one time he intimidated Lana. "I'm here to find out why I havent aged. Im starting to think maybe it has something to do with you and my mother."  
  
Tylers grey eyes flickered, and he pulled out his wand and pointed it at Lanas chest. "Lets get one thing clear. Somethings arent meant to be known."  
  
Instead of Lana flinching at him and apologising, she raised her eyebrows. "This isnt the first time Ive had a wand pointed at me. And by wizards much more powerful than you. Frankly, people thinking they can kill me is getting a little irritating."  
  
Fear appeared across his face, and Lana knew that he knew what she was capable of. He lowered his wand and swallowed hard. "You do not know the source of your power, do you?"  
  
"Admittedly, no. But you do."  
  
Tyler walked backwards from Lana. He knew better than to turn his back on her. If she had realised the true extent of her power, it would be an extremely foolish thing to do. From the look on her face, he was almost sure that she hadn't, but she was getting close.  
  
"Are you going to tell me?" she asked, watching him back off.  
  
"Somethings cannot be explained. Only shown." he replied, voice even.  
  
"Well then show me. Because time is running out, and I am getting impatient."  
  
He walked to his left, to a small door. He took out a key and unlocked it, pushing it open. "There you go. The Hall of Records. And you might not like what you see."  
  
"Thankyou." Lana said, and moved so quickly into the room, that he only knew shed moved when he heard the door slam.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~THE HALL OF RECORDS~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Smiling to herself, Lana muttered "Lumos" and a small ball of light appeared in her hand, and she threw it up into the air and it grew and lit the whole room. Or so she thought.  
  
The Hall was vast, with corridors leading off and doors leading off, but in the centre of the room was a small table with a chair. Lana walked towards it, and on the table was a file. On it said "Lana Madison" and had her mothers signature on the bottom right hand corner. The file was immensley thick and Lana had no idea how she was going to get through it all.  
  
Carefully taking off the elastic that was wrapped around it, Lana sat down and opened it.... 


	58. The Hall of Records : Questions Answered...

Lana scanned the first page. It stated the usual about it being classified information, and that only certain people can access it. There was a list, and on it was one name : Lana Madison. Her mother had obviously been anticipating Lanas curiosity. This made Lana wonder if her mother had taken certain documents out of it.  
  
Flicking over the page, Lanas eyes flickered over the pages as she turned them at a somewhat supernatural speed, looking for key words. The first 20 or so pages were just background information on Lana and her mother, Erica, their family tree. It appeared that Erica had known since Lana was born that she was something the wizarding world had never come across, or had but it was eons ago.  
  
There was still nothing about Lanas father, but there were references to Pyro and speed, time and distance : The Muggle laws of physics that didnt apply in the wizarding world, but they were obviously important to Lana.  
  
Lana stopped when she got to a diagram of the Veil. There were labels, in languages Lana didnt understand, so she turned the page and there was a photo of her mother sat in front of the Veil, maybe a little too close. As Lana watched, her mother turned and looked straight at Lana, then turned and pointed to the Veil. The Veil moved slightly, like wind was blowing it - but from the inside. Leaning closer to the photo, Lana touched it with her finger tips, but quickly withdrew them. Her fingertips were dotted with blood.  
  
Frowning, Lana turned the next page. On it was a photo of her and Sirius - obviously taken without them knowing - on the lawn at Hogwarts, walking across the grounds, hand in hand. This shocked Lana because she thought her mother didnt know about her and Sirius. Underneath was written "Think I didnt know?"  
  
The frown turned into a smile, and although still confused, Lana turned the page. The page had been folded over and Lana unfolded it, and a letter dropped out.  
  
"Lana It is your mother here. By now youve probably suffered the loss of a loved one, or maybe more. I dont know the year that you are sat here, but I can estimate that you do not look a day over 18. At the time I am writing this, a certain wizard by the name of Tom Riddle is gaining power.  
  
However, whatever power he gets, there will be one which he will never have. And he wont have it because it only runs through your body. In your blood. In your bones. I know that you know you have certain abilities - I have known since you were born, although admittedly I do not know what they are or how much they will grow. The one power I know for certain that you will have is the power of cross dimension travelling. You can cross over. And you can call people forth.  
  
It is because of this knowledge; of your power; that I fear I am being hunted. I will never tell them what I know, and I will never hand you over to them. I do not know who your father is. Only that he was a man that I loved. And who loved me, and loved you. I tell a lie, I do know, but I fear telling you. I will say that he wants you. But he will never have you.  
  
You and Sirius are extremely intelligent and powerful wizards. I can see from the way you are with each other that you are destined to be together. I know you do not believe in all this 'destiny crap', but I do. I left a spell somewhere that I hope Sirius found before his untimely demise. (I know he dies. And I know he dies protecting The Boy Who Lived, his and your Godson.) If he died in the way foretold, there is still hope.  
  
I did somethings that I am not proud of. I was never the mother you wanted, or the mother I wanted to be. But that is not my path. I know mine. Yours in unclear, lost in the fogs of time...There are points at which you will be able to change your destiny, and the destiny of others. Most importantly, you can change Sirius' fate. To give live, you have to take life. Are you ready for that?  
  
Together you are powerful, alone, you are vulnerable.  
  
You have to ask yourself some questions. You will doubt your abilities. Others will try and convice you otherwise. But follow your heart. Do what you want. You have to deal with the conseuqences. The road is dangerous. You think you know whats to come. You havent even begun.  
  
Hurry. Time is running out. Do not miss you portal.  
  
Loving you always, Mother xxxxx  
  
Lana sat back and rolled her eyes. "Always talking in riddles, Mother..."  
  
Folding the letter up, Lana placed it in her pocket. Lana tried to turn the next page, but it shocked her. "Ouch...Some use you are mother..." she muttered, shutting the file and placing the elastic back over it. Tucking it under her arm, Lana stood up.  
  
Sighing, Lana walked over to the door and opened it. She stepped through it and found herself in the Death Room.  
  
The Veil flickered and Lana heard a sigh. 


	59. The Veil : Secrets Uncovered

( A.N. : sorry for the cliffy. couldnt help myself. this next chapters pretty eventful, it starts the run up to the climax. ff decided i cudnt upload any docs for a while cos of something i wrote on the page where i told u all about my friends. dont know why.... I recomend readin the Barry Trotter books....they are truly hilarious.....The Shameless Parody is great...HERE GOES!)  
  
Lana span around, looking for the source of the noise. As far as she could see, (which wasnt very far seeing as the Auditorium was huge and there was no way she could see across the other side,) there was nobody but her and the veil.  
  
"Hello?" Lana called out, her voice echoing around the room. That was stupid, she thought to herself. Now if someone wants to kill you, they know youre in here....Muppet.  
  
Walking towards the Veil, her boots echoed on the marble floor. Walking down some steps, Lana left the file on one of the desks that was seemingly randomly placed.  
  
Standing still, Lana felt the hairs on her arms stand up, and the scar on her arm burned a bright red, although there was no pain. "Hmmm..."  
  
There came a sigh again, and Lana thought it sounded like it was coming from the opposite side of the Veil....It was odd. It was in the centre of the room, instead of being against a wall....Which meant that someone had moved it, or it had moved itself. Lana had never been here before, so there was no possible way in which she could tell which answer it was.  
  
Whoever was sighing was blocked out by one side of the Veil, so Lana moved quickly across the other side of the room and just to the side of the Veil, so she could determine who was the other side of the Veil.  
  
Leaning forward slightly, and being careful not to fall through the Veil, Lana peered around the corner. What greeted her was not someone, but some two people who she thought were dead.  
  
Even from the back, and transparent, Lana recognised Sirius. Through him she saw someone who she hadnt seen since she was 14, someone who looked remarkably like Lana.  
  
They were talking in low voices, or rather Sirius was, and he sounded pretty angry from what Lana could make out.  
  
As Sirius' form started flickering, and he eventually disappeared and the Veil sighed as he went back through, Lana got a full view of the woman with the long dark hair who was sat on the steps.  
  
Trying to be quiet had failed her. Lanas limbs were shaking so badly she thought she would fall over. Of all the shocks in the world, of all the tricks people had pulled on her, of all the lies to have told...This topped them all.  
  
The woman was scribbling in her book, completely oblivious to the young girl who was now stood in full view watching her.  
  
Lana was never one to subtle, and her shouting "hello" five minutes earlier had not disturbed her. With a flick of her hand, she made the papers fly out of the womans hand and scatter across the room.  
  
"What - " said the woman looking up.  
  
Until the woman looked up, and spoke, Lana wasnt entirely sure if she believed her own eyes.  
  
"Hello mother. You dont look very dead to me." said Lana, her voice steely with rage, her teeth clenched.  
  
***************************************************************  
  
Harry walked into Grimmauld Place in a daze. It was strangely quiet as Harry walked into the kitchen to get a snack. Sat at the table were Snape and Lupin.  
  
"And what time do you call this, Potter?" asked Snape.  
  
"I'm not at school now, Snape, I dont answer to you." snapped Harry, opening one of the cupboards.  
  
"Its past midnight." said Lupin softly, and Harry almost fell off his chair as he sat down with his Chocolate Frogs.  
  
"Huh?" said Harry, checking the watch Lana had brought him yesterday. He saw that it was part midnight.  
  
"Been with that...Godmother of yours?" asked Snape.  
  
"Yes, I have. But I left her...I didnt realise Id been that long...I was with her for half an hour, if that." replied Harry, completely confused and wondering where the time had gone.  
  
"Where was she when you left her?" asked Lupin, worried.  
  
"Is this 20 questions?" Harry snapped.  
  
"Yes, definately been with Lana," commented Snape. "The woman is a worse influence than Sirius."  
  
"Oh, and I suppose an ex-Death Eater like yourself would be a better influence?" asked Harry, opening his second chocolate frog.  
  
"Like I said." Snape said softly.  
  
Harry scowled at Snape, and he decided to look at Lupin instead. He was dishelleved, and Harry realised that it must be near full moon.  
  
"We were worried." said Lupin, and Snape snorted, and Lupin corrected himself. "I was worried. I think that Lana might be up to something."  
  
Harry shrugged. "So what if she is? Lanas an adult, she can look after herself...A lot better than any of you, in fact."  
  
A familiar step and a soft thud sounded down the hallway and Moody walked through the door.  
  
Moody immediately pointed his wand at Harry. "You under the Imperius Curse boy?" he growled.  
  
"I can throw it off easily, remember?" asked Harry, then realised his mistake.  
  
"No I cant, I was in a box." Moody still pointed his wand at Harry. "Been around any Dark Wizards? Knockturn Alley? Shrieking Shack?"  
  
"Please Alastor, be sensible...The boy went to Lanas office, and it seems he left a while ago and lost track of time." said Lupin.  
  
Lowering his wand slowly, Moody sighed. "I suppose youre right, Remus."  
  
"Im confused." stated Harry. "I left Lanas office ages ago, and I walked around Diagon Alley for a while, then came back here...I dont understand where all the times gone."  
  
"That is something we'll have to deal with later..Right now, we think Lana could be in danger..." said Snape icily.  
  
"Like you give a toss," snapped Harry, "You never liked my father, or my mother, or Sirius or Lana...Jealous I think, of the talents they had collectively and individually."  
  
Snape rose from his chair and glared down at Harry, inches from his face. Harry popped another frog into his mouth and smiled at Snape. "Yes?"  
  
"Sit down, Severus." said Moody, pointing his wand at Snape. Snape sat, and Moody sat next to Lupin.  
  
"Thsi girls got herself into some seriously dark stuff, or she will be soon. Harry, please tell us what you know, it could save her life and others...."  
  
"What makes you think I know anything?" asked Harry. After a seconds pause, Harry began to talk...."Well, she told me that she was going to try this spell to bring Sirius back through the Veil, and that she had access to her mothers files in the Ministry, and although she wasnt sure what the spell was, she knew one existed and that she was the only one with the power to do it."  
  
Lupin and Moody stared from Harry to Snape. "You put truth potion in those sweets?" Lupin asked, wondering why he was so shocked. 


	60. The Veil : Whos a Death Eater?

Lana stared at her mothers green eyes and her mother stared right back.  
  
"Lana...What are you...You can see me? I..." her mother, Erica, mumbled as she gathered up her papers.  
  
"Yes I can see you. I do have eyes you know." said Lana, trying to keep herself calm and her voice level.  
  
"This is bad, this is very, very bad..." said Erica as she roughly shoved her papers back into the folder and put them on the floor.  
  
"You're right. You've got a hell of a lot of explaining to do, but I dont want to hear it right now. I'm busy."  
  
"You're in danger of becoming just like your father....No emotions. No time for explanations." Erica said sharply.  
  
"Who are you to talk to me like that? You made me think you were DEAD. I dont answer to anyone but myself now. I do as I want, when and how I want. So piss off and pretend to be dead again, because I dont need or want you." Lana said as she walked backwards away from her mother.  
  
"Lana, please, let me explain before any more damage is done."  
  
"How much more damage CAN you cause? Reducing your daughter to an emotional wreck obviously isnt enough damage for you. Next you'll be telling me who my dad is."  
  
Erica gave her a daughter an odd look. "You mean you dont know?"  
  
"I mean I dont know and Im not intrested." she said, walking towards the Veil.  
  
"You must know...If you can see me."  
  
"I'm telling you, I dont know. Now sod off." Lana gently touched the marble that surrounded the Veil.  
  
"There must be some other explanation...If she doesnt know who her father is, then she must be doing something...Oh, no..." Erica muttered to herself as she tried to figure out what was going on, and as she looked at her daughter studying the Veil, Erica knew.  
  
Turning around, Lana glared at her mother. "Now you're dead you have time for me? Sorry, no can do. I've told you, I'm busy, I don't want to hear your pathetic little excuses like when I was younger." As she ran her fingers down the Veils marble surround and knelt down to get a closer look at the inscriptions, Lana noticed something. The patterns were the same as the ones on her mothers fireplace.  
  
"Kuun kehran kelmean alta tuli tunne. Kuin varjo kuin uni menneiden aikojen kuin kuollut, vainaa seuruassa elavien." Erica said at the same time as Lana.  
  
Lana stood up slowly and turned to look at her mother. "From under the pale disc of moon, came that feeling like a shadow like a vision from a past time."  
  
Erica nodded. "Yes. Although why its took you so long I don't know."  
  
"How about being sucked into another dimension and going into a coma for around 15 years after you saw your best friends murder and your Godsons attempted murder?" said Lana, hands on her hips.  
  
"Oh..." whispered Erica.  
  
"If you're going to stand there watching me, can you least help me fill in a couple of blanks about this Veil?" asked Lana, walking back over to it and standing about an inch away from the Veil itself, her fingertips a centimetre away from the fabric of the Veil.  
  
"Well for one you shouldnt touch it, unless you want to die." Erica told her, "and maybe you should think about what happens when you go the Ghost Roads."  
  
"You've been spying on me?" asked Lana. "Doesnt suprise me...When I go to the Ghost Roads, its all black, Sirius is old, then as he gets nearer to the light he gets younger until hes the same age as he was when Lily and James were killed."  
  
"Congratulations." said Erica, sarcastically. "Is that all you've figured out? COME AWAY FROM THERE!" she screamed as the Veil fluttered and Lana almost touched it.  
  
Jumping at the sound of her mothers voice, Lana took a few steps backwards from the Veil. "You have to go. Unless you have something useful to tell me because my emotions are all over the place right now, and I know that to do this right, I have to be balanced. And right now I feel like Im going to topple over the edge of the proverbial cliff."  
  
"Do you have the scar on your hand?" asked Erica, a subtle change coming over her.  
  
Lana looked at her palm, where Sirius and her had cut each other. "Yes..."  
  
"Did you do the spell?" asked Erica, stepping slowly towards her daughter.  
  
"Yes...What is this - " Lana stopped as her mother lunged at her, and she stepped to the side too quickly for her mother to react. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Did you read my letter? The one about having to take life to get life?"  
  
"Yes..." A flash of blue light hit Lana in the chest and she stumbled backwards, falling over.  
  
"And youve been asleep for 15 years...Good. You should have enough energy to bring back a certain someone I have been craving for...Someone who was unjustly killed..." Erica said slowly, as she walked over to her daughter, who was now on her feet.  
  
"What are you, possessed?" Lana asked, as her mother shouted "Stupefy" and hit Lana in the chest, with such power that Lana flew across the room and hit her head on the wall.  
  
Erica laughed at the sound of her daughters head thudding against the wall. She wasnt a stupid woman ; she knew the source of her own creations power.  
  
But to her suprise, Lana stood up and rubbed her head as if she had a headache, when really blood was dripping from her head. "Now that, was mean." said Lana, holding a ball of energy in her hand. She threw it towards her mother.  
  
"Deflect," said Erica, waving her hand and the ball hit a table, making it blow up. "Silly girl...Tut tut..."  
  
Lana threw a few more at her mother, but they were easily deflected. Too easily. Her unease around her mother had always been great as a child, but now, it was verging on panic. Deciding that magic was doing no good, she flung herself at her mother and attacked with her fists. This Erica could not deflect.  
  
"GET HER! GRAB HER!" screamed Erica to people behind her that Lana had not seen.  
  
Four pairs of strong hands grabbed Lana and hauled her to her feet, and it gave her a small sense of satisfaction at the sight of blood on her mothers face. "LET GO OF ME! LET GO!" Lana shouted, but soon realised she had no power because they had bound her hands behind her back with magical rope. "Oh, bollocks..." she muttered. Lana felt a hard blow on the back of her head and a spell hit her in the chest, and there was blackness.  
  
~*~*~*~ GRIMMAULD PLACE ~*~*~*~  
  
"Of course. How else do you expect to get the truth out of the boy?" spat Snape.  
  
"YOU BASTARD YOU BASTARD!" shouted Harry, trying to get to Snape.  
  
"Harry, Lana is in a great deal of danger. Our contact inside the DoM has told us he has heard Lanas mother talking. He's also seen her,but when he's chased her, she has disappeared. The thing is, Harry - Erica is dead. At the time, we didnt know why she had been killed - we assumed it was by Death Eaters - but Harry - she WAS the Death Eater." explained Lupin.  
  
"What?" Harry whispered.  
  
"Yes. We have some ideas about - Lanas origins, and why she can get into the Ghost Roads, and various other things - and they all lead back to experiments with the Veil and Erica. There is some seriously Dark magic in the air toinight, anyone can sense it...Even you Harry."  
  
"But surely if it was Voldemort - my head would hurt. My scar would be killing me."  
  
"Close your eyes and just clear your thoughts for a second, Harry." growled Moody.  
  
"What? Why?!" he asked.  
  
"Just do it boy. If you want to be of any help to Lana, you'll do it."  
  
"Okay, okay...." Harry closed his eyes and attempted to clear his head. "its not working..." mumbled Harry.  
  
"Try harder." urged Lupin.  
  
Harry forced all thoughts of Sirius, Ginny, and all other thoughts rambling through his head. He felt wind rushing all around him, felt it blowing his hair up, and then a clearness in his head - which lead to a sharp pain in his head which made him scream - "ARRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" and fall to the floor in a cold sweat. He tore at his hair, he could see Lana sat in a chair, in the same room as Sirius died - she was unconcious - he could see people - with black hooded cloak - he could see the Veil - and he passed out. 


	61. And the Truth Hurts

Lana was swimming in black water. Pain seared through her every nerve, but she knew she must not pass out. If she did, she would be dead for sure. Although, Lana wasnt sure if she was dead or alive at that very moment. Her arms were flailing, trying to reach for something, her legs kicking hard, but the water seemed to go on and on, and her breath was begining to run out. A burning pain shot through her arm and she screamed out loud, taking in a mouthful of the black water. She began to choke, and two strong hands gripped her and pulled her out, and held her upright as her legs buckled beneath her.  
  
Lana turned to the side and vomited. Pushing her hair back from her face, she turned to face the person who had pulled her out.  
  
"Sirius...Am I dead?" asked Lana, trembling all over.  
  
"Not yet. But you will be soon." said Sirius, uncharacteristically serious.  
  
"Oh..Balls." muttered Lana, trying to control the shaking.  
  
"If you dont do something, and fast." he told her, and turned his gaze uptowards the blackness of the Ghost Roads.  
  
"Well what am I supposed to do? Seems to me that my mum wasnt dead, shes a fucking Death Eater, I've been conned, everythings been set up to lead here, to lead to my death...Oh I hate fate." sighed Lana, wondering what the hell she was meant to do. "Seems I cant do much if I'm....What are you looking at?"  
  
She followed Sirius' gaze and saw that the 'moon', or whatever it was, had grown decidedly smaller and dimmer. "Oh. I guess thats bad then."  
  
"Yes it is...You're mother has her uses, she's been pulling me from beyond the Veil, the only thing she hasn't worked out is how to make someone...Corporeal."  
  
"And thats where I come in." Lana said, a few things slotting into place. The blood flowing from Lana was an alarm that told her mother how far Lana was through her investigation - one of Lanas powers must also be a trigger as well. Lana suddenly realised something - "I was an experiment...Oh God...."  
  
Sirius looked down. "Sort of. Some of your powers were....Built in to you. Most are natural, from your father...Although he's unnatural..."  
  
"You know who my father is?" Lana asked, and made Sirius look at her.  
  
"Yes. I dont have time to tell you what I know," Sirius flickered a few times and almost disappeared. "But just remember - to give life you have to take life. Karma - what goes around comes around."  
  
"Oh more cryptic - fuck - " said Lana, as she plunged back into the black waters and woke up in the DoM.  
  
Her eyes were covered, and her hands bound behind her back. "Oh pur-lease, you know these can't hold me." Lana tried to use her telekenisis, but found that if she couldnt see what she was aiming for, and simultaneously couldnt move her hands, the power was useless.  
  
"Now if I take that blindfold off, promise you'll be a good little girl and play fair." said a cold, high voice that never failed to send shivers down Lanas spine.  
  
"Nope. I dont make promises to bastards like you. You don't play the game fair, so why the hell should I? Now untie me you fuck." spat Lana.  
  
"Now, darling, is that anyway to speak to your father?" asked Voldemort, and Lana felt herself stiffen in her chair.  
  
"Pardon?" she asked, not believing her ears and feeling increasingly nervous because she couldnt move or see, and had no idea of how many Death Eaters were there.  
  
"I think you heard me the first time."  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm a little deaf in one ear." said Lana,. refusing to believe Voldemort. "You really think that I'm going to fall for more of your lies? You wouldn't know how to tell the truth. Evil things lie."  
  
"Actually, I always tell the truth." replied Voldemort. "Now, help me fill in a few blanks here. I have strived for immortality for over 50 years, so tell me, how is it that you have it, when you are no more than a child?"  
  
"Just lucky I guess," shrugged Lana. An idea came into Lanas head. "Now please take this blindfold off."  
  
"No. I do not care for repeating myself."  
  
"Neither do I." Lana concentrated hard, looking for people that she had on her mental radar. Through this, Lana had a vague idea of who was in the room - Lucius, Bella, Crabbe, Goyle, Nott, Avery...and Snape. Lana tried to concentrate all of her power onto Lucius, to destroy him from the inside, make his organs explode...Only it didnt work, and it came rebounding back on her, and Lana screamed in pain, tears running down her face.  
  
Through the pain she heard footsteps coming towards her. An ice cold finger touched her face. "Thats right, little girl...I now know the source of your power. It's me. That's why, in case you hadn't figured it out - when I was temporarily disabled, your spirit wandered off into another dimension. You can only survive if I do."  
  
"You're not my father," whispered Lana, the tears flowing harder. "You're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, YOU'RE NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT!" Lana screamed, twisting in her chair.  
  
"How much more evidence do you need, sweetheart?"  
  
"I'M NOT YOU'RE SWEETHEART!" Lana was taking deep, panicky breaths. "I'm dirty...I can feel it in me...Dirty..." The tears turned into huge, racking sobs that shook her whole body. A few sniggers arose from the people in the room.  
  
"Lana, honey, come now...It is a wonderful thing." Erica told Lana.  
  
"DON'T TOUCH ME! GET AWAY FROM ME!" shouted Lana, pushing her chair back. Her head was spinning. She hated it because it was the truth : it was the only logical explanation. She had woken up slightly and become aware of the world when Voldemort was brought back. When he made his first kill, which also happened to be the night Sirius died - Lana had come crashing back into her body. "Oh no no no no." Lana was muttering to herself, she felt dirty, ashamed, like something had crawled into her skin and she couldn't get rid of it. It was making her itch all over.  
  
Lana didnt like the truth any more. The truth hurts. 


	62. Its getting Blurry

( A.N. : Sorry for being so inconsistent this past month or so, but I've had a hell of a lot of work on. This is a short chapter, and I'm sorry. Thanks for being so supportive of this story. I love you all!)  
  
She could barely think straight. Her mind was full of confused thoughts, none having any link to the next one.  
  
"Which also means that if you have certain powers...So do I. Hmm." Voldemort raised his hand and pointed it at Lana. "Get up." The chair flew upwards and stopped in mid air. "Nifty little power." He let his hand drop and the chair crashed to the ground, shattering beneath Lana and one of the chair legs went straight through Lanas left leg.  
  
Screaming in pain, Lana couldnt see what it was or move her hands to get rid of it. Blood trickled in a steady stream across the floor, heading towards the Veil.  
  
"Release her." Two hooded Death Eaters walked over to Lana and removed the binds around her hands.  
  
Lana reached to her eyes and ripped off the material covering them. The pain in her leg was momentarily pushed aside by pure terror. Around 30 Death Eaters were in the room - and only one was barely on her side. Lana froze. The piece of wood in Lanas leg shot out and Lana screamed in pain. Lana clutched her leg and avoided looking at the man who claimed he was her father. Luckily for her, he hadn't found out how to stop her accelerated healing.  
  
With a bloody hand, Lana pushed her hair from her eyes. Her face was dirty and tear stained. "What do you want from me?" she asked quietly.  
  
"Why, I thought you would have figured that out by now." said Voldemort, taunting her.  
  
"Please, stop taunting me...I can't take this any more..."  
  
Bella cackled. "Aww, poor likkle baby can't take it!"  
  
Lana was tired. She was tired of fighting. Tired of hurting. Tired of seeing the people she loved die. Tired of trying to do things that are impossible. Tired of the same damn shit everyday. Tired of the murders. Lana looked up and straight into Voldemorts red eyes.  
  
"Kill me."  
  
~*~*~ GRIMMAULD PLACE ~*~*~  
  
"Harry? Harry!" shouted Lupin, shaking Harry.  
  
Opening his eyes and looking at the three faces above him. He didn't know how long he had been passed out. "Eh?" he said.  
  
"Harry...What did you see?"  
  
It all came back to Harry as he sat up and rubbed his scar. "They've got Lana." he said in a hoarse whisper.  
  
"Where? Where? WHERE HAVE THEY GOT HER?!" Lupin shouted.  
  
"I...I..." Harry shook his head, unable to think of the horrific place in which is Godfather died, and his Godmother is likely to die in.  
  
"TELL ME!" shouted Lupin, and Moody pulled him away.  
  
"The...Deparment..of Mysteries..." whispered Harry, looking at the floor, tears welling. "In the room with the Veil in."  
  
"Oh no..." said Snape.  
  
"Yes, oh no." said a gruff voice that Harry, Lupin, Moody and Snape hadn't heard in a long time and never thought they would hear again. "Why are you all still stood here? MOVE IT!"  
  
They all stared in disbelief at the man who stood before them. His long dark brown hair was wet and messy, and he was clean shaven. "Come on! It's a very exciting time...Things are happening and you're still here!"  
  
"Sirius?" whispered Harry, slowly standing up, forgetting about the pain in his head.  
  
"Does everyone else see this? Just to be clear..." muttered Lupin.  
  
"Aren't you supposed to be dead?" sneered Snape.  
  
"Seems even dying can't keep my away from taunting you, Snivelly." joked Sirius, looking around. "Okay, I better explain...Theres something stirring. It has been since Lana awoke again. Some sort of...Unbalanced element. The lines on this night, between the living and the dead...Are blurred. Usually only Lana can see me, and Harry occasionaly...But seeing as Lana is about to be massacred and theres nothing I can do about it because Im not corporeal - which means, Snape, that I cant hold a wand - I thought I better come find you."  
  
"I know what it means, Sirius. But surely you are not the only one walking around like the living dead?" commented Snape.  
  
Sirius frowned. "I thought so too. Apparently, I am the only one walking around. To my knowledge, at least." His appearance flickered and Harry cried out loud. "SIRIUS!"  
  
"You don't need to shout Harry, I'm right here." said Sirius, although he was continually flickering in and out of view. "Oh, dammit." he muttered and disappeared. 


	63. Betrayal

(A.N. : This is mega-short. Will update the chapter ASAP.)  
  
Sirius appeared next to the Veil. "They should be on their way...After all, they love playing the hero." But the voice that same from Sirius mouth wasnt his.  
  
Lana looked up as the dark hair got shorter, and turned a familiar shade of bright pink. Sirius got shorter and things appeared that men didnt have.  
  
"Tonks?" whispered Lana. "Oh no..."  
  
"You only just figured?" laughed Tonks. "And to think I used to worship you."  
  
"Why?" Lana demanded.  
  
"The question is, how do you know who you are talking to?" asked Tonks, as she assumed the form of Lupin, Harry, Dumbledore, and then back to herself.  
  
Lana stared.  
  
"I think I'll wait for the audience to get here before I kill you." said Voldemort, twiddling his wand between his fingers.  
  
"Thats your problem, Tom, you always had to wait for an audience. You never got anything done while you had me. Always had to show off, go for the big finale."  
  
"Finale? My dear daughter, this is but the beginning..." murmured Voldemort.  
  
"So, seriously...You gonna kill me yet? I'm sick of this. Life is boring." said Lana, gritting her teeth as she tried not to fling herself at Tonks.  
  
Lana looked from Voldemort to Bella, and to the Veil, that was slowly flickering. It was a full moon tonight - that meant Lupin was no help to her - and as for Snape...she didn't know where he was. Dumbledore didn't have a clue as far as she knew.  
  
"Did you really think I'd let you get away with that?" said Tonks, walking over to Lana. "You had Sirius, were close to Lily and James, Harrys godmother... The Lord as your father...Didn't you have enough? Why did you have to take Lupin from me? WHY?!" Tonks screamed, slapping Lana. "You were everything I wanted to be. Dont you realise how famous you are?"  
  
Lana laughed. "Jealousy..." Lana reached up and grabbed Tonks by the throat, and hurled her across the Auditorium with barely any effort at all. "Silly little girl." 


	64. Turn

Voldemort laughed. "You are the most brutal Auror I have ever seen. You don't flinch at hurting people. Or killing them. The need, the lust to kill is in your blood. You know it is. You cannot deny it."  
  
"I kill evil. Not innocent." said Lana.  
  
"Evil people kill innocent people?" asked Voldemort. Lana nodded. "But you kill. So doesn't that make you evil?"  
  
"No." Lana spat blood onto the floor.  
  
"But you still killed someone. Stole their life." Voldemort said.  
  
"You're just trying to confuse me." Lana shook her head, clearing images of all the people she had killed over the years.  
  
Voldemort knelt down in front of Lana. "You're confused because you know that I am right and you don't want to believe it. Just accept it. You are a killer."  
  
"I'm not a killer. Not a killer." muttered Lana, her hands over her head.  
  
"You killed Sirius." whispered Voldemort.  
  
Lanas brown eyes fixed on Voldemorts red ones. "Liar. Thats impossible."  
  
"Nothings impossible." Voldemort stood up and turned to his followers. "Leave us alone. Bella, Lucius, Erica - stay. The rest leave."  
  
Quickly and silently, the Death Eaters disappeared.  
  
"Nothing you say can convince me." said Lana. although the nervous expression on her face said otherwise.  
  
"You are aware of - all of your powers, are you not?" asked Voldemort.  
  
Nodding, Lana, slowly stood up, not taking her eyes of Voldemort. "Then you should know," he continued, "that you can - astral project, in a fashion. And when you felt Sirius and Harry in danger, you snapped out of it - only for a few seconds, but it was enough for my Bella here to stun Sirius and send him into that Veil. He saw you out of the corner of his eye - and his focused shifted so much that you killed him."  
  
Rolling her eyes, Lana said - "Is that the best you can come up with? Because, to be honest, I already knew. I know that I shifted his focus, and thats why he was killed. Do you really think I could feel MORE guilty? 'Cause I know I can't."  
  
Tonks was still knocked out over the other side of the room - Bella, Lucius and Erica were to Voldemorts left. Lana was stood with her back to the Veil. A heavy silence hung over the room, like a thick blanket of dust that clogs the lungs. Lana knew that Snape, Moody, Lupin and Harry were on their way. She had to stall as long as possible - she needed Lupin and Harry there - and Bella. The change in the air; the shift of the space between the living and the dead; the change that made all things possible; was beginning now, and Lana had only a 10 minute window to do what she had to do.  
  
Looking down, Lana saw that her leg was fully healed. She felt weak, but that was because Voldemort had her powers. But not all of them. Moving quicker than any of them could see, Lana plunged her right hand into Voldemorts chest, and he let out a roar of pain as Lana pulled her powers out of him and into her. Bella, Lucius and Erica flew at her, but with her left hand, Lana flung them across the room.  
  
Voldemorts snake-like red eyes bulged in rage and pain and he pulled back his arms and smashed them into Lanas chest, sending her into the air and across the room.  
  
At that moment, Lupin, Snape, Moody and - where was Harry? Lana thought briefly, knowing that they could never have held him back.  
  
Bella cackled insanely and cried "Crucio", aiming it at Moodys chest, who fell to the floor writhing in pain. A jet of blue light from Snapes wand knocked Bella across the floor, breaking her hold on Moody.  
  
"Watch out!" Moody called, as Lucius started shouting and jets of blue, green and red light came at Snape, who quickly muttered the counter spells and ran to the side.  
  
Lana was laying on the floor, catching her breath, and Voldemort was bent almost double, waiting for the pain to subside.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ HARRY~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Standing outside the door that led into the Veil Room, Harry couldn't quite make his feet move and just stood staring into the room in which his Godfather had died and it was certain his Godmother would die, if someone didnt do something. But for once, Harry couldnt play the hero. He was terrified. Voldemort was in there, almost certainly killing or at least wounding the people that he cared about. And then there was Ginny. And the Prophecy that Dumbledore had finally revealed to him chilled him to the very bone. "If its a choice between killing or dying, there no choice," Lana had told him once.  
  
Harry had often wondered how Lana had gotten so hard. From what Lupin had told him, Lana used to be a caring person. but after all that happened, it had toughened her and it was hard for her to not look at every situation cynically. "You should go into every fight expecting to die. Because one day you will. Know it, not fear it," was something else that Lana had also told him.  
  
A scream hit Harrys ears; someone had just been hit - and it sounded like Moody. He desperately wanted to run in and do something, but his feet felt like they were cemented to the floor. Echoes of Sirius falling through the Veil flashed through Harrys mind, him screaming for Sirius to come back, running after Bella, Voldemort appearing and almost killing him. His mouth was dry and Harry felt like he was going to pass out. Im just a kid, Harry thought, what can I do? If I die, no-one will ever beat Voldemort. But how do I know? How do I know when I can kill him? And how?  
  
The pressure was starting to build on Harry, and at that very moment, he fully realised what he had to do. In that moment, he fully felt the pressure, the lives, the people that depended upon him.  
  
I cant go in that room, I cant watch more people I love die. I cant go through it all again, he thought. But I have to. I have to know Im going to die. I have to know that people around me are going to die. Now was the time for Harry to stop being a kid and to start being an adult.  
  
Harry gripped his wand tight in his hand, trying to remember some of the spells Lana had taught him. Some of them were Dark Magic - which Harry would never use, but Lana had thought it useful that he know them incase the worst came to the worst or he was ever confronted with them. He walked through the door and into the dust, screams and flashing lights of the Veil Room. 


	65. How can you be sure what you saw?

(A.N. I know this has been a long time coming, and I am so grateful that you have had patience with me following my loss. We are nearing the end, so Im going to ask you to just bear with me - I want to make sure I get it right, tie up all the loose ends etc etc - this is an edit of this chapter, so please read this one and disregard the first edit I put up if you read it.)  
  
Credits for the lyrics go to Evanescence.)  
  
"Even In Death"  
  
Give me a reason to believe that you're gone  
  
I see your shadow so I know they're all wrong  
  
Moonlight on the soft brown earth  
  
It leads me to where you lay  
  
They took you away from me but now I'm taking you home  
  
I will stay forever here with you  
  
My love  
  
The softly spoken words you gave me  
  
Even in death our love goes on  
  
Some say I'm crazy for my love, Oh my love  
  
But no bonds can hold me from your side, Oh my love  
  
They don't know you can't leave me  
  
They don't hear you singing to me  
  
And I can't love you, anymore than I do  
  
I will die, but real love is forever.  
  
Voldemort called for his re-inforcements and they came running back into the Veil Room. Lana figured that there was around 20 of them - she hoped that Harry would be too terrified to come in until the very end. There was very little possibility that Lana could defend herself from Voldemort - for once, this wasn't about Harry, but with Harry there as an added target, Lana knew she wouldnt be able to defend herself, Harry and do what she had come to do as well.  
  
"LUPIN! MOODY! SNAPE!" Lana shouted across the expansive room, her voice echoing off the marble walls. All three of them were backed together, in the far end of the room - away from the Veil. More Death Eaters surrounded them, and Lana was just waiting for the final strike to come. Quickly, she moved across the room, flitting from side to side so that Voldemort couldnt keep up with her even if he did try, and so that the Death Eaters didnt see her coming.  
  
She smashed through the middle of them, stunning 3 as she did so. Standing alongside Lupin, Moody and even Snape made her feel proud - and the adrenaline rush was incredible. That knocked the numbers down to seventeen, and just as they raised their wands, Lana flung her hands up and raised a forcefield not unlike the one when she had first faced Voldemort as a teenager. Her hands were held high above her head, muttering to herself underneath her breath.  
  
Harry walked in at that very moment, and what he saw shocked him. Pieces of marble had been blasted off the walls, and it was because of this and the dust that he was blocked from Voldemorts view, or maybe because all of his attention was focused on Lana. Reading about Lanas powers in his parents journal was one thing, but seeing them up close and live was another...The sight was awesome. The number of Death Eaters, Harry wasnt sure about, but Lana was making sure that none of their spells were getting through to her, Lupin, Moody and Snape. The only way Harry could tell there was anything there was the fact that everytime a spell hit it, whatever it was, a silver ripple went around it, and also there was Lana grimacing or screaming in pain, depending on the strength of the spell. Harry looked at her, and looked down, and saw the blood on the floor. Lupin was talking fiercely to Moody and Snape, who were both listening intensely. Harry also realised something else: For all that hed done in the past, to his father and his friends, to Harry and his friends - Snape was on THEIR SIDE.  
  
The door behind Voldemort swung open and Lanas team from the Aurors division came running in. James, and three others started their attack on Bella, Lucius, Crabbe and Goyle.  
  
"STUPEFY!" shouted James, the spell just missing Lucius' head, James quickly ducked to the floor to avoid being hit with the same spell.  
  
"Oh here it is, Lanas hero," seethed Lucius, pointing his wand at James who had just leapt up from the floor. "Lets see how well you do when your writhing in pain - "  
  
"STUPEFY!" called a voice from behind Lucius, hitting him square on the back. "Always talked too much.." muttered Kingsley, spitting on Lucius unconcious body.  
  
Bella was having a great time with Amelia, having laid Crucio on her and Amelia as in so much pain she was just twitching on the floor - then she stopped moving altogether.  
  
Cackling, Bella turned around, only to be greeted by a Jelly Legs curse from James.  
  
Kingsley stared at James, then, seeing Crabbe and Goyle, quickly grabbed James' arm and spun him around, Kingsley sent two stupefy spells at Crabbe and Goyle, but each one missed.  
  
"Leave Bella for me..." said Lana, and James spun around, trying to figure out how she had spoke to him, when a seething Bella hit him with Crucio, which sent him screaming to the floor.  
  
Lupin, even as he was talking to Moody and Snape, had many things on his mind. He was trying come up with something to do when Lanas field broke - it only lasted so long, because of the damage it inflicted on her. This was all too much like the first time Lana faced Voldemort... Lupin started to panic as he saw the crimson red seeped through her white t-shirt. On this exact date, at this exact time - he had been fighting the battle which killed his last remaining friend - 2 months ago exaclty. As he thought this over, something occured to him - it might be because this would be the LAST TIME she faced him..Lupin felt his stomach lurch at the very thought that Lana could die. He knew it - in that moment, he knew, that one way or another, this would Lanas last battle.  
  
Voldemort stood watching, mildly amused and at the same time filled with rage. The girl was quick, powerful, intelligent and ruthless. They were things he held in high esteem - which is why he wanted to either kill or recruit James and Lily Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Lana Madison when they were younger - whichever one was quicker. Turned out, three out of five were now dead, either by his own hand or by the people closest to Voldemort. Leaning against the marble wall, Voldemort waited. Only so long before her defences broke, and that would be it. Total annhilation of her, a werewolf, a traitor and a paranoid old Auror. Come to think of it, why wasnt Potter and his little friends here? Usually they cant resist coming and trying to do 'whats right'. Voldemort smiled to himself. No doubt they would be here soon, if they werent already in the building somewhere.  
  
Lana opened her eyes, and saw Harry standing just inside the doorway, hand gripped on his wand. Her dark brown hair had come loose from its ponytail, and was whipping wildly around her face as the spells hit her forcefield. The scar on her right arm had been ripped open immediately and blood flowed down it and spattered onto the floor. Her back was sore and she could feel the blood running down it. One more good hit, and she would be on her knees, unable to protect anyone anymore. "Harry...." Lana tapped into Harrys wavelength, and sent a message to him. "Go away. Dont let yourself be seen until I call you. I need you for something, but for this thing, I need you to be alive. So - "  
  
From the back of the room, Voldemort walked forwards, shouting "AVADA KEDAVRA" and the force of the green light hitting the field.  
  
"ARGHHHHHHHHH" Lana screamed in pain, dropping to her knees, fresh blood running down her face, the field flashed off for a second and a few spells got through, cutting off Snapes hair and grazing his cheek, hitting Moody in the chest and sending him sprawling into Lupin who had been hit in the leg, and was bleeding considerably. Lanas breathing was ragged and her chest heaved up and down, as she struggled to keep it up.  
  
Harry screamed and almost fell to the floor, he struggled to keep his balance and pain seared through his head, feeling like his skull would split, as he felt Voldemorts malice towards Lana.  
  
This scream caught Voldemorts attention and he turned to face Harry, who was still reeling from the pain, eyes blurry, tears down his face, vision - two of everything. Lana saw this, and it happened almost in slow motion...  
  
Voldemort lifted his wand.  
  
Harry didnt even see him.  
  
Lana shouted to Lupin Moody and Snape to get out of there.  
  
Lupin, seeing what she was going to do, screamed to her "NOOOO!".  
  
Snape grabbed Lupin by the right arm as he lunged for Lana.  
  
Moody grabbed him around the waist, as Lupin flailed and struggled to get her.  
  
The field dropped, and the Death Eaters, their target open, pointed thier wands at Lana, but she had already gone.  
  
Stunned, the Death Eaters turned around, amazed.  
  
Lana was running as fast as her injured, exhausted body would let her.  
  
Voldemort pointed his wand at Harry and took a few steps forward.  
  
Harry had dropped his wand in pain, and was now frantically looking for it on the floor.  
  
Lupin was shouting and kicking at Moody and Snape to let him go, but they wouldnt.  
  
Voldemorts voice, high and shrill with hate, echoed and bounced around the room -  
  
"AVADA KEDAVRA...!"  
  
The jet of green light was no more than a few foot away from Harry when Lana got to him -  
  
She pushed him aside, turned to face Voldemort, her hand up, about to send up a forcefield -  
  
When the green light hit her in the chest...  
  
Harry stood, motionless...  
  
Lupin stopped fighting, and fell to his knees as...  
  
Lanas eyes grew wide, the blood trickling down her forehead making her look even more haunting...  
  
Her lifeless body hit the wall behind her, and slumped, face down on the floor. 


	66. Altered State

(A.N. : I know many people haven't reviewed these last few chapters, as they have probably given up on the story seeing as I haven't updated in a long time. I was going to wait a few more days and see if more people reviewed, because the more people I have on the edge of their seats then the more incentive I have to write. But seeing as I don't want to keep the few of you that have bothered to review waiting much longer - here it is. THE FINAL CHAPTER. (I think. Lol.) ENJOY!)  
  
Harry stared at Lana's bloody, lifeless body. He couldn't believe it. It seemed to him that everyone he loved was destined to die. Maybe he was just destined to be alone. Alone in all of this. In that moment, everyone was still. Quiet. Everyone had thought Lana more or less invincible. Especially Harry, after everything he had heard and read. But it occured to him that not once had Voldemort used the killing curse on her. His breathing returned to him slowly, and he realised his wand hand was slackened at his side. He forced himself to look away from Lana, and to Lupin.  
  
Lupin stopped struggling, and fell to his knees. His eyes widened in horror as he fully realised what had just happened. Now he was truly alone; no James, no Sirius, no Lily, no Lana. Just him. Looks like the werewolf will make it through the second war in once piece. Just like he did the first. He felt guilty every single day since that Halloween for being the survivor - and now his guilt was doubled.  
  
Moody hung his head in respect for his fallen comrade. Snape, as ever, remained almost emotionless. James, keeping his wand on Lucius, spun around in time to see why everyone had gone quiet. Lana, his 'partner in crime', had finally died, as so many others had, at the hands of Voldemort. A great sadness pulled at his heart. Kingsley wiped blood from his forehead and conjured up some bonds to hold Lucius and Bella together.  
  
Crabbe and Goyle lay motionless on the floor, having been hit by several Stupefy spells at once. Lucius bit his lip hard as he saw Lana dead. "Don't even pretend to be upset," growled James.  
  
Bella screeched with laughter and Erica came running back into see her only daughter lying dead on the floor. Voldemort merely stared at her.  
  
Cutting through the silence with a knife, a high shrieking noise span around the room, accompanied by a strong gust of wind, that span around and around. A white mist appeared on the floor, covering Harrys feet and Lanas body. The ice cold wind whipped around them all, almost lifting Harry off his feet. His teeth started chattering and he pulled his robe tighter around him. Looking over at Lupin, Harry saw that he hadn't moved.  
  
The mist rose, thick and white, steaming up Harrys glasses, and he found he could no longer see. The shrieking turned into more of a scream, and the wind whipped the white mist slowly formed the shape of Lanas body.  
  
A horrible scream rose from Lana's body as her ghost was re-animated. She stood and backed up against the wall, screaming and clawing at herself, panicking. Ground yourself, she thought to herself, or it'll never work. And all this will have been for nothing.  
  
Lana looked at the shocked faces around her, and let out a loud, roaring laugh at the furious expression on Voldemorts face. The cuts on her body didn't hurt; she couldn't feel a thing. A jet of green light and a roaring wind came flying at Lana, but the spell went straight through her body and hit the wall behind her.  
  
"Can't kill someone who's already dead..." said Lana, standing up, her feet hovering an inch or two from the floor. "Ooh..." she said, looking down. Lana struggled for a few seconds, trying to get herself on the floor, and she finally succeeded. "Woah..." whispered Lana, as she looked at her hands and saw that they were a pearly translucent colour. "I wasn't sure for a minute whether it had worked or not...."  
  
"You got yourself killed on purpose?" Lupin asked, in disbelief.  
  
"Ummm...YEAH....duh!" said Lana, pulling a face at Lupin.  
  
"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMN MIND?!" Lupin screamed at her.  
  
"Temper temper Remus..." said Lana, shaking a finger at him. "Tut tut."  
  
"How?" asked Voldemort, furious at himself.  
  
"Unfinished business, duh." Lana answered, thinking it was pretty clear.  
  
"What unfinished business?" Voldemort asked slowly, trying to figure out what she was doing.  
  
Before he could answer his question, Lana was over at James' side. "UNTIE BELLA! DO IT! NOW!" she screamed at him.  
  
James, completely and utterly terrified by Lana's total - stupidity or cleverness or whatever, he didn't know, did as she asked.  
  
Lana focused all her strength and grabbed Bella by the throat, and began to drag her across to the Veil, which had started fluttering slightly a few moments ago.  
  
"The Veil requires a sacrifice -The murderer of Sirius - that would be you, Bella," Lana began to explain, "Also, to pull this off, the dead person and the person doing the casting need to be joined - I don't mean marriage - I mean a very old and forbidden spell which Sirius and I used to bind our souls together - And they also need to sacrifice themselves. Thing is, I didn't fancy throwing myself through the Veil - so I got myself killed beforehand. As a ghost, I should stand more chance of being able to get back. They say that we can't mess with life and death - not can't, it's WON'T. We can. Well, I can."  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" screamed Lupin, "YOU CAN'T DO THIS! THINK OF HARRY, THINK OF ME!"  
  
"I am dammit and that's why I'm doing this!" Lana muttered the Ancient words. "kuun kehran kelmean alta tuli tunne. kuin varjo kuin uni menneiden aikojen kuin kuollut, vainaa seuruassa elavien.kuun kehran kelmean alta tuli tunne. kuin varjo kuin uni menneiden aikojen kuin kuollut, vainaa seuruassa elavien.kuun kehran kelmean alta tuli tunne. kuin varjo kuin uni menneiden aikojen kuin kuollut, vainaa seuruassa elavienkuun kehran kelmean alta tuli tunne. kuin varjo kuin uni menneiden aikojen kuin kuollut, vainaa seuruassa elavien.."  
  
Black sludge started to seep out of the Veil, from all around it. The words around The Veil lit up in blood red and began to shine. A roaring came from inside the Veil, and the piece of material that covered it disappeared - appearing instead - a huge swirling vortex. People's screams came from it, and for once, Bella wasn't laughing. Instead, she went rather pale.  
  
The only people who could see what was truly inside the Veil was Lana and Bella - and suddenly Lana wasn't so sure of what she was doing. In that moments hesitation, Dumbledore burst through the door behind Lana.  
  
Lana quickly flung a screaming Bella into the Veil and waved goodbye to Lupin and Harry. "See ya soon....Maybe...." she said, before diving in after Bella.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ THE GHOST ROADS~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lana stepped through the Veil, her hair being whipped around her. On this plane, she had physical form. The cuts inflicted on her by Voldemort were suddenly very painful. As she wiped at the tears on her face, she noticed they stained her hand red. Blood tears. Well, the Veil required blood.  
  
She looked down and the dress she was wearing was also red. It wound around her neck, two strips covering her breasts, joining the dress at her hips. Her back and most of her front were bare. She turned to see her reflections in the water and her hair had been tied up, into a high ponytail. Frowning, she noticed the reflection of the moon in the water had been covered. Looking up slowly, Lana saw Sirius, clothed in black trousers, bare feet and no shirt. His long back hair and youthful looks had returned - but the expression on his face was not one she had expected.  
  
"What did you DO!" asked Sirius, his voice full of anger.  
  
"I found you..." Lana said softly, turning to face him.  
  
"Have you lost your mind?" he asked, grabbing her roughly on the arms.  
  
"Now you sound like Lupin...Sirius, please don't do this to me. I did all this for you. For us." she said, trying to free herself from his tight grip, but with no luck.  
  
"You got yourself killed in front of our Godson? You let him watch you murder someone without showing remorse?" At this, Lana laughed. "How do you know if this is going to work? How do you know this is even what I wanted?" he asked of her.  
  
"Ouch...Sirius, please..."  
  
"You're nothing but a stupid little girl Lana. Anything could have been unleashed from the Veil. Anything could have gotten through."  
  
"No it couldnt. I opened a one-way door. For me and Bella to get through." said Lana.  
  
"Oh you're so arrogant. As it turns out, what you did worked. So far. Now whats your plan?" asked Sirius.  
  
"To bring you back with me." said Lana softly, as Sirius let her go.  
  
"You can't." said Sirius, not looking at her.  
  
"What?" Lana asked.  
  
"You can't. It's not natural." Sirius couldnt look at her. After two months of waiting, of hoping that Lana would figure it out - he now realised that they couldnt do it. Who knows what sort of ripple effect it could have on world?  
  
"It's not natural. Then why have I been allowed to do it? Sirius, you know better than me that if we are not meant to do something, then it won't work. But this has. It has worked. Sirius look at me. LOOK AT ME!" Lana screamed, her voice breaking as tears fell from her face.  
  
"We can't, Lana, it's not right. Think of all the other people who have been murdered - why cant we bring them back?" he asked, tears clouding his eyes.  
  
"You mean Lily and James?" Lana asked. Sirius nodded. "Because we're not meant to. Sirius, I didn't know if it was going to work. I didn't know if I'd die and that would be it. But it wasn't. They - whoever they are - let me come back to complete my destiny. Sirius, you can have a whole different destiny if you just come back with me. Please."  
  
"No." Sirius turned from her.  
  
"Sirius...Please." Tears flowed faster down Lanas face, "We don't have much time." Her heart was breaking, all over again. "Please."  
  
"Don't make this any - "  
  
"SHUT UP!" shouted Lana. "How could you do this to me Sirius? HOW? Oh God...I feel I've been lied to. I don't - Sirius - Please..." Walking around to him, Lana grabbed his hand, holding it firm as he tried to pull it away from her. "I love you. I need you. I cant live without you. Please - I said I'd do anything to get you back, give up everything - and I have. My own life. I love you."  
  
"Lana let go of me." He knew what he had to do - he couldn't let this come to pass. It would disrupt the natural order of things.  
  
"No. I'll never let go. Please. Please Sirius - please. I'm dead anyway if you don't come back with me. Theres nothing for me to live for. No reason for me to get up - or carry on fighting."  
  
"Don't you understand? It's wrong." Sirius finally brought himself to look at Lana - her long brown hair, how he was going to miss running his hands through it when they kiss, as they lay in bed together in the morning - her big brown eyes, now stained with tears - her nose, her cheeks, her lips - this was more than he could stand.  
  
"Please. Sirius I need you. I love you. Dammit dammit dammit." Lana screamed in pain, and clutched tighter to Sirius' hands. "I love you."  
  
"No." Her pain was more than he could stand - especially when he knew that he was the cause of it. Emotional pain can scar you and hurt you a lot worse than anything physical. He knew that for himself. The pressure of her hands clutching his - he would miss that too. He'd miss the way she was so selfish and yet so un-selfish. He'd miss the way she kissed, the way she spoke, the way she breathed when she was sleeping.  
  
Lana felt as if her insides were being ripped apart. She sank to her knees as she realised there was no way she could persuade Sirius to come with her. Her sobs made her whole body shake, "No no no no Sirius please please....I need you...I love you - Come with me come with me NOW!"  
  
"I'm sorry...I can't." He knelt down beside her and tried to wipe the tears away from her face, but he couldn't because she kept hitting him away, but she gave in and they just held each other.  
  
Sirius opened his tear filled eyes and saw the Boy stood a few meters away. Sirius knew - then and there - that he had to send Lana back right away, or the gap would be too big and she wouldn't be able to return corporeal.  
  
"Lana - ," he began to say, but the words choked in his throat. "I love you. I'll always be with you."  
  
Lana looked up at him and she knew what was coming. "No, Sirius, no, no - " But she was silenced as he kissed her hard on the lips, becoming gentler as she stopped protesting. Lana clung onto him with her hands, not wanting to let him go. The tears still ran down and stained her face.  
  
The portal that Lana came in by opened behind her, and Sirius picked Lana up and threw her through it. As he threw her, he realised she had been muttering something through her sobs.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ THE D.O.M ~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Voldemort and his Death Eaters had disappeared seconds after Dumbledore had burst in.  
  
Moody was filling in some blanks for Dumbledore. Harry and Lupin were sat on some steps a few metres away from the Veil. Harry hadn't spoken a word since Lana had jumped into the Veil. Snape was over with Tonks, who had apparently been under the Imperius Curse.  
  
A blackness fell over the room and a huge bang was heard, as Lana was flung from the Veil. Light filled the room on Lana's still, bleeding, tear- stained body.  
  
But there was no Sirius.  
  
Dumbledore conjured a stretcher and placed Lana on it. Lupin put his arm around Harry and helped him to walk. Tonks stumbled along slowly with Snape. Moody took one last look at the still Veil before following behind them. 


	67. Epilogue: Parting Thoughts

Lana has currently been in hospital for a week - her injuries were so severe that Dumbledore took a chance and took her to the hospital in London. So far, she has spoken to no-one. Hogwarts has been re-opened and Harry is back at school. Lupin is their DADA teacher for their 6th year.  
  
The dust inside the Department of Mysteries settled. Nobody except the people that had been there knew what had happened that day.  
  
Exactly week after the events took place, a slight shift in the air made Lana stir in her sleep.  
  
It was night, and the Auditorium was dark and still, thick with the blanket of silence. The Veil flickered slightly.  
  
The writing around the Veil slowly filled up with blood, and began to glow a bright red.  
  
A hand reached through Veil and grabbed the marble side of it. The sound echoed off the walls. Dust flew up slowly in a mist from the hand.  
  
Another hand appeared and grasped the other side. They stayed there for a few moments, trying to get a good, firm grip on them.  
  
The muscles in the hand clenched, and a grunt of effort and strain came from the Veil.  
  
Seconds later, a face, slightly tanned, slightly stubbled, with long, shoulder legth black, messy hair stuck to it with sweat appeared from behind the Veil, followed by a bare torso and black trousers.  
  
Placing a weak foot on solid ground for the first time in over two months, the man fell forwards and away from the Veil. The sound of metal clunked - a black necklace with some kind of silver symbol on it fell out of the mans hand.  
  
As he lay there, his youthful looks came back to him, and he looked twenty one again.  
  
Sirius Black took his first breath of air as he lay on the cold, hard marble floor.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ THE END ~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
PARTING NOTES:  
  
Thankyou so MUCH for reading my story and reviewing it and loving it and giving me the drive to write more and helping me to believe in myself and Im going to take a breath now.  
  
*breathes.*  
  
Love the end or hate it? Well review and let me know. A detailed one of the whole story would be very very much appreciated if you have the time.  
  
Just to let you know, if you're at all intrested - there will be a sequel. Not as long or complex - (*sniggers* yeah, right.) This is because I realised that I can't tie up all the loose ends that are still there after the climax of the story without rambling too much and boring you.  
  
Love you all!  
  
Re-Writing Destiny aka Char 


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